# Karen's Dave



## davetgabby

Thought I'd start a thread for us to follow Karen's husband Dave's health updates. We're rooting for you two.


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## Sheri

Which Karen, Kodi's mom or Brady's mom? I don't know what is happening, but we're with you in spirit!


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## HannahBearsMom

Did I miss something? What's going on?


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## davetgabby

http://www.havaneseforum.com/showthread.php?t=22306&page=6


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## Beau's mom

Thanks, Dave! By all means, Karen and Dave are in my thoughts and prayers.


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## Sheri

Thanks, Dave. Karen, I hope things start turning around for the better soon. Hugs to you!


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## sandypaws

We're all thinking of you and wishing you both the best and a speedy recovery for Dave. Be strong!:grouphug:


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## morriscsps

You should have labeled the thread 
"Kodi's and Karen's Dave".


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## Brady's mom

I totally missed this too. Karen, I have you both in my thoughts and prayers. We just went through something very similar with my Dad. Fortunately, the cultures were the answers and they were able to get his antibiotics changed to treat the right source. It was scary and he has a lengthy recovery ahead of him. But, he is making great progress and doing pretty well. It sounds like the cultures were taken and that will be the first step needed to get everything under control. Sending thoughts and prayers your way!


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## jabojenny

Missed this one too. Thinking of you and Dave and hoping for the best.


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## HannahBearsMom

I hope Dave has a full and speedy recovery.


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## Atticus

Good idea Dave to repost here! Now we just need to wait for word from Karen.Hope "her" Dave is doing better!


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## krandall

He had a pretty horrendous night lat night. They ended up needing to do emergency surgery on his spine, and found that besides the abcess they had seen on the MRI, he had infection all up and down the spinal cord. They needed to open about 18" of spine up and debride and flush it out. He has 3 drains in his back that have to remain in place for 3-4 days. They fitted him for a brace that will be made overnight, and he will have to wear that starting tomorrow. (not sure for how long) With all this, they still haven't been able to check his heart or abdomen.


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## krandall

Thanks for all the thoughts and prayers, folks!


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## MarinaGirl

Oh no Karen, I'm so sorry to hear Dave's condition worsened and he had to have emergency surgery. I'm definitely praying for him and all his loved ones. I wish I lived on the East Coast and could help you out. Blessings from the NW. 
-Jeanne


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## Sheri

Oh, dear. (((Karen and Dave)))


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## Tom King

Best wishes from every heart here!!! I wish we could teleport to sitting around a campfire.


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## krandall

Tom King said:


> Best wishes from every heart here!!! I wish we could teleport to sitting around a campfire.


Me too, Tom! That was a fun, care-free night. Hope we can do it again someday!


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## morriscsps

Oh no! That sounds so uncomfortable. How does he get any rest with all of that? Since they did that procedure, will they start to see improvement quickly? 

I hope things are looking better tomorrow. ttfn


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## Celesthav

Karen,*
Prayers and hugs for Dave and you for continued strength and a speedy recovery.
Stay strong.*


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## Zarika

Prayers for you and your family Karen. He really is at a great hospital. They'll get him on the mend. Have they moved him to the ICU or is he still on the regular floor?


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## Missy

Sending, the most positive thoughts Dave's way. Healing thoughts.


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## krandall

morriscsps said:


> Oh no! That sounds so uncomfortable. How does he get any rest with all of that? Since they did that procedure, will they start to see improvement quickly?
> 
> I hope things are looking better tomorrow. ttfn


Even though he has this long incision (and drains) his back is already much less painful now that the pressure on his spine is gone. So that's a good thing!


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## TilliesMom

Lord have Mercy... praying for Kodi's Dave and for you Karen. Glad that he is getting such good medical care and hope that he is able to get some rest tonight. :hug:


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## Suzi

Were sending prayers here from Oregon too.


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## misstray

Well no wonder he's been grumpy! I'd be grumpy too! Poor guy.

Keeping you guys in my thoughts and sending out positive vibes your way.


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## shimpli

Praying for your husband, Karen. Hope everything gets better soon. Hugs.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## whimsy

Karen..hope things get better quickly for your husband! Sending positive and healing thoughts your way!


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## rokipiki

Lot of hugs, kisses, healing thougts and noselicks (from Roki) to whole family, escpecially Dave!


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## Miss Paige

Sending prayers & hugs to you & Dave. And a special hug to Kodi who must be wondering what is going on. Prayers & wishes for a speedy recovery.


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## trueblue

Sorry to hear about this. It sounds painful just reading about it. Sending prayers your way for a full and speedy recovery.


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## sandypaws

krandall said:


> Even though he has this long incision (and drains) his back is already much less painful now that the pressure on his spine is gone. So that's a good thing!


So sorry, Karen, to hear of your woes. Glad Dave is feeling less pain with the pressure being relieved. Hope they get to the bottom of this soon. Please stay strong yourself. I know, first hand, the stress that all of this can cause on us as the spouses and caregivers. Bud also had back surgery last spring due to several herniated discs. It is not easy to go through for them or us. Thoughts are with you, Dave and the boys.


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## Julie

Sorry to hear about this. I hope Dave continues to do well. Sending prayers and good wishes your way.


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## Sparkle

This forum is such a strong support system, even if it's only in thoughts & prayers! At least know that we're all there with you in heart. Hope they find out what type of infection it is soon!


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## krandall

Sparkle said:


> This forum is such a strong support system, even if it's only in thoughts & prayers! At least know that we're all there with you in heart. Hope they find out what type of infection it is soon!


Thanks, Pat. We know what kind of infection it is. He has a staph infection in his blood stream.


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## motherslittlehelper

I hope Dave had a better night last night. More positive thoughts coming your way from the West Coast. Take care of yourself too.


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## TilliesMom

how was his night Karen?


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

I just heard about this and you have prayers coming your way...I will be checking in to follow his progress...do take care of yourself!


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## davetgabby

bump


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## Grindstone50

You are both in my thoughts Karen! Stay strong!


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## krandall

Thanks, everyone. Got home from the hospital a little while ago. They delivered his "clamshell" back brace, which he's supposes to wear any time he's out of bed. As might be expected, it's VERY uncomfortable over the incision and drains in his back. 

They were able to scope his heart, and the good news is that there is no sign of infection there. Bad news is that he does have another infection site on his kidney. They can't operate on that because of his bleding risk as a result of the meds for the stent. So they just have to keep a close eye on it over a period of the next several months, and hope the antiobiotics take care of it.


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## Sonic and Aries

Karen, I'm so sorry to hear about your husband. You, Dave, Kodi, and the rest of your family are in my thoughts and prayers.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## DapperTuxedo

Glad you've got Dave home with you, Karen. Sorry to hear there's still a ways to go. ::hug:: I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers!


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## RickR

Thinking about you and hope everything is going better.


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## krandall

DapperTuxedo said:


> Glad you've got Dave home with you, Karen. Sorry to hear there's still a ways to go. ::hug:: I'll be keeping you all in my thoughts and prayers!


Oh, he's not home, Lindsay. Unfortunately, they still aren't even guessing at a date that he'll be able to go home. He's still on oxygen, for one thing, and he can't go home until the drains are out of his back.

Thanks for the thoughts and prayers, though, he still needs them!


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## waybrook

Just catching up with this...praying for a good nights rest and continued recovery for Dave. Also praying for you Karen - its hard split your time between home & hospital....


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## Atticus

I didn't think he could be home. Hope you are doing ok Karen this must be beyond exhausting, emotionally and physically. How's Kodi dealing with you gone more than he is used to? Hope you both get a good sleep tonight. I think of you often.


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## Lizzie'sMom

Oh Karen, I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself so that you don't get sick. Prayers to your hubby. Any idea how this infection started?


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## krandall

Atticus said:


> I didn't think he could be home. Hope you are doing ok Karen this must be beyond exhausting, emotionally and physically. How's Kodi dealing with you gone more than he is used to? Hope you both get a good sleep tonight. I think of you often.


Thanks, Jody (and everyone else, too!)

I've been trying to work at home in the morning, and then go to the hospital in the afternoon. My son usually gets home from work around 4:30, so Kodi hasn't been alone for THAT long. My son has been great about taking Kodi places with him in the afternoon/evening, and feeding him supper. Today was a GORGEOUS day, and I did sqeeze in a quick walk down to the lake with Kodi before I left for the hospital. It was good for both of us!


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## krandall

Lizzie'sMom said:


> Oh Karen, I am so sorry. Please take care of yourself so that you don't get sick. Prayers to your hubby. Any idea how this infection started?


I'm trying to rest as much as I can. I can feel I'm on the edge of an RA flare, and that wouldn't help anyone.

Dave has a low immune system to start with, and also has type II diabetes (controlled with oral meds). The combination makes him more prone to infection. The best guess is that the bacteria were introduced during the stent procedure where this whole thing started.


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## morriscsps

On the other thread, you said he had one on his spleen too. Are they going to deal with that or wait? What a mess.

The weekend is almost here. Any way you can smuggle Kodi in to see Dave? He is as well-behaved as any therapy dog. Way less hairy as the Golden Retrievers they showed on the news. 

Make sure you get some rest and eat properly. You have to take of yourself too.


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## Atticus

oh good I didn't realize you had a son at home,at least now I can stop wording about Kodi, and I'm glad you have one less thing to worry about too! Hope it's a better day today for you both!


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

Hope to hear something soon, but take care of yourself Karen...I know it is hard to keep posting when you are busy...just know we are thinking about you, Dave and the family.


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## krandall

morriscsps said:


> On the other thread, you said he had one on his spleen too. Are they going to deal with that or wait? What a mess.
> 
> The weekend is almost here. Any way you can smuggle Kodi in to see Dave? He is as well-behaved as any therapy dog. Way less hairy as the Golden Retrievers they showed on the news.
> 
> Make sure you get some rest and eat properly. You have to take of yourself too.


He had told me his spleen. (which is why I like to talk to the doctors directly! It's actually on his kidney.

I think right now, that even if I could get permission to bring him in, Dave is too sick to appreciate it. Plus, with all the wires and tubes going in and out of him, I think it would be to risky and uncomfortable.


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## krandall

Atticus said:


> oh good I didn't realize you had a son at home,at least now I can stop wording about Kodi, and I'm glad you have one less thing to worry about too! Hope it's a better day today for you both!


Yes, my older son is 22 and just graduated last May. He still lives with us, and has been a HUGE help. The other one is in college close by, but is rarely home... which is probably good, because at least he's not messing things up!


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## Sheri

(((Karen)))


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## Brady's Grandmom

Wishing you all the best. Having just been through a very similar experience last month I know what you are going through. My dh was on a vent and had acute renal failure before they got this blood infection under control. I am amazed at how well he has bounced back. He is also diabetic. He is back to work part time now and being his usual cranky self. Hoping Dave bounces back quickly!


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## krandall

Brady's Grandmom said:


> Wishing you all the best. Having just been through a very similar experience last month I know what you are going through. My dh was on a vent and had acute renal failure before they got this blood infection under control. I am amazed at how well he has bounced back. He is also diabetic. He is back to work part time now and being his usual cranky self. Hoping Dave bounces back quickly!


That's really good to hear, Miriam! Thank you!!!


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## sandypaws

krandall said:


> I'm trying to rest as much as I can. I can feel I'm on the edge of an RA flare, and that wouldn't help anyone.
> 
> Dave has a low immune system to start with, and also has type II diabetes (controlled with oral meds). The combination makes him more prone to infection. The best guess is that the bacteria were introduced during the stent procedure where this whole thing started.


So glad to hear that his heart is not involved. What a relief for both of you. Interesting to hear that the bacteria may have been introduced during the stent procedure, as Bud's MSR at the time of his bypass was passed into his lungs, post-surgery, via the ventilator tubing. Where is Dave's stent? Did they just do that now or is that something that he's had?

Your schedule during this ordeal, Karen, sounds like the same one I had when Bud was in the hospital, as it was pre-retirement and I was running a business from home. Work in the morning, walked the dogs, went to the hospitals, (yes, hospitals, as my father decided to have a stroke at the same time and because my mother had already passed and I'm an only child, it all fell on me, although my kids who were close by helped out when I couldn't get there), came home and fed the dogs, then back to the hospital in the evening. It's quite a grind. I also had to keep my secret from Bud as he was so sick. Luckily, I had the two dogs at the time, so they had each other for company in my absence.

Most important, take care of yourself as everyone has said. You need to be the strong one now. I remember I lost a lot of weight during those 28 days, as I had no appetite and was so worried. I'm happy to say, though, that things worked out, for both of them, and they will for you too. Thoughts and prayers still for both of you.


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## Missy

Just checking in on you and Dave, Karen. You seem so calm, but I know you must be petrified. I am glad he is at such a good hospital. It sounds they are really on top of all of it, trying to keep ahead. 

I know you know this, but you also have to take care of yourself. a little extra sleep, a walk with Kodi, a pedicure... Dave has so much going on with doctors and tests he's not gonna care if you take an extra hour of two for yourself. 

praying for good "turn the corner" news. Please know you are both in my thoughts.


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## luv3havs

Karen,
Just saw all this. I am so sorry you and Dave are going through this. You must be exhausted running back and forth to Boston. I hope things improve with Dave and am sending prayers for both of you. I am quite familiar with RA and hope that you do not have a flare up. Take care of yourself as much as possible.


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## krandall

sandypaws said:


> So glad to hear that his heart is not involved. What a relief for both of you. Interesting to hear that the bacteria may have been introduced during the stent procedure, as Bud's MSR at the time of his bypass was passed into his lungs, post-surgery, via the ventilator tubing. Where is Dave's stent? Did they just do that now or is that something that he's had?
> 
> Your schedule during this ordeal, Karen, sounds like the same one I had when Bud was in the hospital, as it was pre-retirement and I was running a business from home. Work in the morning, walked the dogs, went to the hospitals, (yes, hospitals, as my father decided to have a stroke at the same time and because my mother had already passed and I'm an only child, it all fell on me, although my kids who were close by helped out when I couldn't get there), came home and fed the dogs, then back to the hospital in the evening. It's quite a grind. I also had to keep my secret from Bud as he was so sick. Luckily, I had the two dogs at the time, so they had each other for company in my absence.
> 
> Most important, take care of yourself as everyone has said. You need to be the strong one now. I remember I lost a lot of weight during those 28 days, as I had no appetite and was so worried. I'm happy to say, though, that things worked out, for both of them, and they will for you too. Thoughts and prayers still for both of you.


Hi Mary, the stent is in his left anterior descending artery. The procedure was done on Thursday, and he was starting to get sick by Sunday. Of course, being a guy, he didn't go to the doctor right away, and even when he went in, they mis diagnosed it as "pulled muscles" in his back, and sent him home on muscle relaxants and percocet. By the time I was able to talk him into letting me take him to the ER, he had a raging infection.

I can't even IMAGINE having to deal with two of them in the hospital at the same time!!!


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## Suzi

Hope you were able to sleep last night and your arthritis isn't kicking in. We are sending our hugs to you and your family. I hope by this afternoon he will be feeling better.


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## krandall

Missy said:


> Just checking in on you and Dave, Karen. You seem so calm, but I know you must be petrified. I am glad he is at such a good hospital. It sounds they are really on top of all of it, trying to keep ahead.
> 
> I know you know this, but you also have to take care of yourself. a little extra sleep, a walk with Kodi, a pedicure... Dave has so much going on with doctors and tests he's not gonna care if you take an extra hour of two for yourself.
> 
> praying for good "turn the corner" news. Please know you are both in my thoughts.


Hi Missy, I guess I'm just one of those people who tends to hold it together during a crisis and then crashes after it's over.

I was able to take Kodi out on a walk yesterday, and I'm going to do the same today. I think it's good for both of us!


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## Brady's Grandmom

I agree walking our havs is the best therapy! For the first couple of days my daughter( Brady's Mom) had Bacca for me so I could work and run back and forth from the hospital. After a couple of days I wanted my baby boy back so we could do our walks and cuddle. The other thing I did was one night I went to the dept store on the way home from the hospital and did "retail therapy". Shopped the clearance racks to keep my mind totally off everything.


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## Momo means Peach

Karen, I don't get on as often as I used to so I just read this post. So sorry to hear about Dave. My thoughts are with both of you and Kodi too (as he's probably wondering where "Daddy" is).


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## sandypaws

krandall said:


> Hi Mary, the stent is in his left anterior descending artery. The procedure was done on Thursday, and he was starting to get sick by Sunday. Of course, being a guy, he didn't go to the doctor right away, and even when he went in, they mis diagnosed it as "pulled muscles" in his back, and sent him home on muscle relaxants and percocet. By the time I was able to talk him into letting me take him to the ER, he had a raging infection.
> 
> I can't even IMAGINE having to deal with two of them in the hospital at the same time!!!


Oh there's more Karen! It's all took place in January of '05, the year we had a 3' snow storm. There I was, all alone with a snow blower that I had never used before. I took one look at it and just cried. Finally, I figured it out, as there were many different buttons on it, and managed to clear off the driveway and front walk but didn't want to chance going all around back to make paths for the boys, so I shoveled it by hand. Needless to say, they got only a couple of paths out and back just enough to do their business and get back in the house. Bailey used to love playing in the snow, but he couldn't during that storm as mommy didn't have the strength at that time to do more for them.

As far as the two hospitals, my car was on auto pilot then, buzzing right up Rt. 9 either from the BI to MWMC, Framingham in the other direction depending on who I went to see first. My father did know about Bud and was very understanding and wanted me to be with him so kept shooing me away.

Someone mentioned that you must be petrified, Karen. I was so petrified that I called our builder on the Cape, who was about to start our new house because, of course, the Cape winters aren't the same as Metrowest winters, and told him to put a hold on it because I didn't know whether Bud was going to make it or not. Well, all that is behind us now. My father lived to 93 and Bud is going strong. He's like the energizer bunny.

I'm not trying to make this about me, just want to give you encouragement and let you know the you will both get through this and someday you will think back and just shake your head and think, how did we do it? Just DON'T let that RA flare up. I'd hate to see you do me one better with the two hospital story by you being across the street from Dave at the Brigham. He needs you now. Take care and be strong. This, too, shall pass.


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## StarrLhasa

I just checked in on the Forum and saw this thread. I feel so bad for your DH, and I know this is very hard on you as well.

Sending healing thoughts from California for a speedy recovery.


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## Laurief

Boy, I feel horrible Karen, I did not realize that this was all going on. I am so sorry! My son suffered with two MRSA staph infections, and they must be treated aggressively - which is why it is such a good thing that he is in the hospital and staying there for a while. 
I am glad that the surgery gave him some relief in his back! 

Take care of yourself during all of this!!! I will keep you both in my prayers


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## gelbergirl

_My best for a comfortable recovery ~~~~~~~_


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## Beau's mom

Karen, I just want to let you know that I'm still thinking of you and Dave and wishing you all the best. It is never easy to go through a prolonged hospitalization with no clear-cut resolution. My husband challenged me with his heart transplant in 1989. Then, I got back at him in 2003 with a 2-month long coma (from chicken pox). Having been on both sides, it was actually easier to be the patient!! Remember, he is being well cared for -- you are wearing yourself out physically and emotionally. So, take care of you! 
(My RA is flaring in sympathy).


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## davetgabby

hugs Karen.


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## morriscsps

Karen's trips should be easier now that the Feds have transferred the bomber out of the hospital. The security checks shouldn't be as long. 

I hope that everyone got a good night's sleep last night.


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## krandall

morriscsps said:


> Karen's trips should be easier now that the Feds have transferred the bomber out of the hospital. The security checks shouldn't be as long.
> 
> I hope that everyone got a good night's sleep last night.


After the first night, they didn't do any more checks, there were just lots of police around the hospital. I thought they might have transferred him (or WERE transferring him) yesterday. There were still a lot of police around, but the news trucks were clearing out.


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## Sheri

Hope Dave is doing better this evening.


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## krandall

Well, they were talking about him possibly coming home tomorrow, so they had me come in to meet with the home health care person about his IV meds. They had not been able to get his central line in when they tried in his room, so we didn't have the real set up to practice with. 

After we got done with her, they took him down to x-ray, to put the line in, guided by x-ray. But he started having such severe chest pain that they couldn't get it in, and had to stop. They did an EKG which looked OK, but are now concerned that a blood clot could have hit his lung. So they may do a CT scan later tonight to check for that. So at this point, it won't be until at least Monday before he gets home.


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## Beau's mom

Hang in there. We're with you. Call one of us if you need to talk.


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## Cailleach

I very much hope that Dave gets better soon. My heartfelt best wishes are sent.


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## clare

Dear Karen hoping for the best for you and Dave.


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## sandypaws

Still thinking about you and praying for Dave. Hope he isn't throwing clots, although I would imagine that they have him on Coumadin or some other blood thinner. Bud is on Coumadin, as he has been in A-fib for 3 or 4 years now. Chin up, Karen. We're all hanging in there with you.


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## RitaandRiley

Hugs to you and Dave, Karen. I hope there is an improvement soon.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

Prayers for you Dave and the family Karen..hugs too. Try to get some rest..that is so hard to do I know..


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## krandall

Thanks, everyone. And yes, Mary. He's on blood thinners anyway, because of the stent. In fact, that has been a problem, because every time the touch him, he bleeds. Even the sticks for his blood sugar are causing bruising all over his fingers.


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## Missy

Thinking of you both. Sorry to read his coming home has been delayed. But it sounds like he still needs the hospital. {{{Karen }}}


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## dodrop82

Holy Cow! Only now seeing this! So sorry Dave's having such a difficult time! Praying it all turns around very soon, and he's on the mend! Sounds super stressful for all of you! Best wishes to you and Dave!!!!


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## krandall

Thanks. He was in a little better spirits today, thanks to them putting him on some anti-anxiety meds. He was up to playing a short (50 point) game of Hearts with us, and beat us, as usual.


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## Sheri

Well, THAT should help his spirits! He can now gloat that even when he's at his worst he can still beat you. :first:


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## krandall

Sheri said:


> Well, THAT should help his spirits! He can now gloat that even when he's at his worst he can still beat you. :first:


I wasn't too surprised... Although the point spread was smaller than it usually is!


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## Atticus

Gosh Karen this has been a tough stretch, my heart goes out to you both,better in the hospital than home too early, Big Hug!! and a lick


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## Suzi

tomorrow is a new day and I'm still thinking about you guys a lot. I grew up playing hearts I love that game! Get a good night rest and hugs to you Karen.


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## motherslittlehelper

Just checking in to see how Dave is doing. Glad to hear his spirits are up a bit. This has to be so rough on the both of you. I love Hearts too.....and Pinochle.  Thinking of you both and hoping your man is soon well and home.


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## The Fussy Puppy Gang

Karen - you and Dave are in my prayers. I hope he's well and able to come home soon.


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## Lila

I've been praying too. I hope he's doing better. Life can be hard sometimes try to take joy in the little things


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## morriscsps

Just spending Karen & Dave Monday morning hopes & wishes that things are going well.


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## jabojenny

Me too!


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## krandall

Thanks! It's POSSIBLE that he'll come home tonight, but tomorrow is more likely.


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## motherslittlehelper

Good news!


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## sashamom

Karen I hope he is able to come home today or tomorrow and that the transfer of care to you goes smoothly. It is so difficult when they are on the hospital but a little nerve racking (for me anyway) when they come home. I will be thinking of you. Take of yourself. Linda, Sasha & Rango


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## krandall

Dave is finally home. It was a long, exhausting day, and the schedule they have us on for the next 6 weeks looks pretty exhausting too. But at least he's home, getting better, and I won't need to drive in to the hospital every day. (though he still has a bunch of appointments in there)

Kodi is being very cute, and won't let Dave out of his sight. He's being a great "nurse dog".


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## davetgabby

good to hear that Karen, make sure to spoil him. :angel:


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## Sheri

Yeah!


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## Atticus

OH Karen, Great News! I'm so glad he's home that will make things easier! Hope things go smoothly,and you have good support system.Happy for nurse Kodi too!


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## Tom King

Great news! I know he's one happy boy to be home!


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## Cailleach

Soooo good.


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## sandypaws

Glad to hear he's finally home. Hope everything goes well for him now. Time to step back, Karen, and let Kodi take over for a while. You need the rest.


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## dodrop82

YAY! Great news! Praying it's all down hill from here! Those pups really know who need them most, don't they! Speedy recovery Dave! And hang strong, Super Woman!!!! Every man needs one!


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## NvonS

YIPPPEEEE!! Prayers of healing still heading your way.


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## Pucks104

So glad that Dave is back home for both of you. I went through a major health situation with my husband 4 years ago and your situation vividly brought back all those feelings of worry and exhaustion. I wish Dave a speedy recovery. Take care of yourself which can be hard to do when the patient is home.


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## krandall

Thanks, everyone!


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## Laurief

So glad he is home!


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## morriscsps

Will you have help coming in? It sounds as if it still will be a pretty rough schedule for you guys. Just having a maid service to do the bathrooms and kitchen for the next few weeks could help a lot. That is if you don't have it already because of your RA.


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## Suzi

That's good news. Is he able to walk around okay?


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## misstray

Glad Dave is back home. Hope things are going well.


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## morriscsps

Oops! I completely forgot to say that I am thrilled that your sweetie is back home where he belongs.


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## clare

Good to hear that your Dave is back where he belongs.Hope he is comfortable,and that you are not too exhausted.


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## krandall

morriscsps said:


> Will you have help coming in? It sounds as if it still will be a pretty rough schedule for you guys. Just having a maid service to do the bathrooms and kitchen for the next few weeks could help a lot. That is if you don't have it already because of your RA.


Yes, I already have a cleaning service. It's too rough on my hands to do a lot of scrubbing and vacuuming.


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## krandall

Suzi said:


> That's good news. Is he able to walk around okay?


Yes, he has a clam shell brace that he has to wear any time he's out of bed, but he can walk as much as he wants and can tolerate.


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## Missy

Just checking in. normally I would offer you help, but I am still hopping myself. So for now, I am just sending hugs.


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## Beau's mom

So, how are things going? Is Dave a good patient or crank champ? Are you refining your bedside manner or becoming Nurse Ratchett? I know that it can go either way -- and most likely it's a little of everything! Any help needed with dealing with the clam shell or anything else? Sorry to say I've been on both sides -- but maybe I can at least sympathize with one or both of you!

Best advice is to take everything one day at a time. If something is irritating today, it may be fine tomorrow. Let me know if I can help.


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## motherslittlehelper

So good to hear Dave is home, Karen. Ha - Nurse Ratchett!! (from Lorraine's post). Hope all is going well.


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## krandall

It's draining. He's not a good patient, and isn't particularly good about following directions. Then he won't follow my suggestion to call the doctor, and then second-guesses himself at 10:00 at night. I know he's sick, but I'm physically and emotionally exhausted.


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## Suzi

I hope you get a good nights rest Karen. Its been my experience that men are difficult patients. I think if you get worried just call the doctor yourself. I hope he feels better tomorrow.


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## MarinaGirl

When in doubt, hug Kodi! Sounds like he's a great therapy dog for y'all, what a sweetie. I'm thinking of you daily and hope Dave's recovery goes quickly and smoothly. He's lucky to have you Karen.


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## sandypaws

krandall said:


> It's draining. He's not a good patient, and isn't particularly good about following directions. Then he won't follow my suggestion to call the doctor, and then second-guesses himself at 10:00 at night. I know he's sick, but I'm physically and emotionally exhausted.


I feel your anguish, Karen, as I've been through it more times than I care to mention. Men are very frustrating to deal with when they are sick (as well as when they're not sometime too)! Calling the doctor doesn't seem to be an option for them. Actually, I always found it easier when Bud was sick and in the hospital than when he was sick and at home. The running back and forth is physically and emotionally draining then, but I think it's worst when they come home as the whole burden is on us then, even though there may be the VNA and PT dropping by. Hang in there and please try to take care of yourself as that is very important when dealing with a sick one. Try to get some rest when Dave is resting and, as someone else mentioned, just snuggle with Kodi as they sure do know when something is not right with us.


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## motherslittlehelper

MarinaGirl said:


> When in doubt, hug Kodi! Sounds like he's a great therapy dog for y'all, what a sweetie. I'm thinking of you daily and hope Dave's recovery goes quickly and smoothly. He's lucky to have you Karen.


Ditto!


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## krandall

sandypaws said:


> I feel your anguish, Karen, as I've been through it more times than I care to mention. Men are very frustrating to deal with when they are sick (as well as when they're not sometime too)! Calling the doctor doesn't seem to be an option for them. Actually, I always found it easier when Bud was sick and in the hospital than when he was sick and at home. The running back and forth is physically and emotionally draining then, but I think it's worst when they come home as the whole burden is on us then, even though there may be the VNA and PT dropping by. Hang in there and please try to take care of yourself as that is very important when dealing with a sick one. Try to get some rest when Dave is resting and, as someone else mentioned, just snuggle with Kodi as they sure do know when something is not right with us.


I know, Mary. He vacillates from ignoring the Dr's directions and doing whatever he wants, (like taking his insulin at the wrong times and taking naproxin instead of tylenol when he's been TOLD it's not safe with the blood thinners he's on) to having a total pity party, where he sounds like he's going to be an invalid for the rest of his life. I get frustrated enough with THAT this morning that I finally told him he'd better start taking responsibility for his own health, and he'd BETTER not plan on being an invalid for the rest of his life, because there was no way I was going to be his nurse/servant for the next 30-40 years!

It might sound harsh, and I have NO PROBLEM helping him when he really needs it, but I DON'T want to have to deal with the mess he makes by not following the very clear directions from the doctors, and when he refuses to call and ASK the doctor when he has a problem.


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## misstray

Maybe you should clicker train him!


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## Beau's mom

Karen -- You are right to draw a line in the sand and force him to take responsibility for himself. I suppose that he is old enough to make hs own decisions and to live or die with the consequences of those decisions. Help when you are needed -- and stay out of it when you're not. It's "tough love" but love nonetheless. When you are certain he has explicit instructions, back off! Maybe he will take responsibility if/when he realizes that he must!


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## morriscsps

misstray said:


> Maybe you should clicker train him!


'cuz zap collars and cattle prods are cruel, no matter how tempted we are. ound:

Do you think your blow-up got through to him? He must be as scared as you are. :grouphug:


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## Sheri

(Maybe you should clicker train him.)



morriscsps said:


> 'cuz zap collars and cattle prods are cruel, no matter how tempted we are. ound:
> 
> Do you think your blow-up got through to him? He must be as scared as you are. :grouphug:


You guys are great help. ound:

But, really, Karen, I agree with the other comments and your own actions. Sometimes a "patient" needs a reality check to jerk them up and cause them to "grow up."

Hugs to you.


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## clare

Dear Karen,hopefully things are at their lowest ebb right now,so things can only get better.Unfortunately some men can be very silly and frustrating when it comes to medical matters!Try to get some you time,if you can with dear Kodi,sending best wishes.


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## Sparkle

Have your son there, say you have to go somewhere, and just go sit & relax! Give yourself a little break. Or an all day break. Other people can hand him a pill, or help him stand up, etc. Whatever he needs help with. But you're still in the beginning stages of his healing, and you need "me time". If you don't, those blow-ups are going to get closer & closer together. You're exhausted. He's being pampered. Sorry guys, but men can be the biggest babies when they're sick. It's like all of those drain tubes are leaking the brains right out!


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## nlb

Oh gosh, Karen! I had no idea this was going on....sending all the positive healing wishes I can! Happy 4th to Kodi as well! Hang in there!


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## davetgabby

MEN :baby:


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## jabojenny

davetgabby said:


> MEN :baby:


:laugh: Yes Dave you got that right.


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## krandall

Well, he's been behaving better today after our little "talk". We went to a follow up appt. with his PCP, and she was very nice, but very firm with him. (and pretty much told him what I had told him) i still have to watch his meds... It amazes me how incapable he seems, when I know this is a man with not one, but TWO Masters degrees!!!!


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## dodrop82

Good job, Karen! Next time Chris is pulling that wooow-is-me crap, I know who I'm callin' in!!!! Hang tough, Girl!!! And I hope he's feelin' better and less of a "man" very soon!!!!!


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## clare

Glad to hear things are marginally better.


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## morriscsps

It is a male thing. They get scared when they are hurt and need reassurance from a 'professional', not a family member. 

I went through last night with my 11 yr. old. He pulled the plantar fascia tendon in the bottom of his foot at recess yesterday. I did the poking, flexing, bending and came to the conclusion of minor sprain. There was no swelling, just sore to walk on. I PM my cousin who is THE sports trainer for the US National & Olympic Ice Skating Champions. (seriously, he really is) He told me to ice it, massage his calf, and give him motrin.

Can you believe after all that, I still had to take him to the doctor's this morning? Sean wanted a professional to tell him it was a very, very, very minor sprain.

 Men. I am glad that the PCP is backing you up and he is getting with the program


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## krandall

morriscsps said:


> It is a male thing. They get scared when they are hurt and need reassurance from a 'professional', not a family member.
> 
> I went through last night with my 11 yr. old. He pulled the plantar fascia tendon in the bottom of his foot at recess yesterday. I did the poking, flexing, bending and came to the conclusion of minor sprain. There was no swelling, just sore to walk on. I PM my cousin who is THE sports trainer for the US National & Olympic Ice Skating Champions. (seriously, he really is) He told me to ice it, massage his calf, and give him motrin.
> 
> Can you believe after all that, I still had to take him to the doctor's this morning? Sean wanted a professional to tell him it was a very, very, very minor sprain.
> 
> Men. I am glad that the PCP is backing you up and he is getting with the program


Ha! Although that can go the other way too... When my younger one was about 12, he was in a summer camp that started their day in a big gym, with a climbing platform and ropes, with big fat mats underneath.  He SOMEHOW managed to get himself stuck between one of these huge mats and the wall, with his back hyper-extended. He cried when it happened, but settled down and seemed OK. They called and told me what had happened, but he seemed fine at that point, so there was no reason to bring him home. That night, his back was sore, and he was moping around, moaning "I think I broke my b-a-a-a-c-k!" He has always refused to ice ANYTHING, so I told him he was fine, gave him some Motrin, and sent him to bed. He went to camp for the next two days, but didn't want to do any of the physical stuff, and was still complaining that his back hurt. So I finally took him to the pediatrician, who checked him over, told him she thought he had sprained it, and to ice it and take Motrin. (Duh!)

A week later, he was STILL complaining, and I called her again. At that point, she thought he should probably see the orthopedist, even though we BOTH still thought he'd just sprained it. So we went to the orthopedist, and low and behold, the poor kid HAD been walking around for a week with two fractured vertebrae!!! The part that was broken were those little bits that stick out toward the back, so there was no impact on his spine. But he still had to wear a back brace for the rest of the summer. I'll tell you, both the pediatrician AND I felt HORRIBLE that we hadn't taken him more seriously. But this is a kid who could make it seem like he was mortally wounded if he had a paper cut!


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## krandall

Dave is getting better, day by day, but we're still having our ups and downs. We're having a VERY hard time keeping his blood sugar under control, because the antibiotic is in a dextrose solution, which makes his blood sugar shoot up every 4 hours when he gets a dose. Then he takes the insulin (he was never insulin dependent before this) and his blood sugar plummets in the evening. 

But our big excitement today was (just after the visiting nurse has decided we're "all trained" and we're on our own) that his IV pump started alarming because there was air in the line. And, of course, no one had trained us what to do in that instance. So the alarm is blaring, the dog is barking, (I did have the presence of mind to clamp off the IV, so the air wouldn't get into his blood stream) at that point his doctor called, so we were talking to her, she was trying to get in touch with the home health care people on one line, while we were trying another line...

We did finally get it sorted out and restarted, but it was another round of excitement we didn't need. Kodi and I decided to steady our nerves with a trip to the Black Cow, our local home-made ice cream place. They make "Cow Paws", which are doggie "ice cream" (actually watered down no-sugar frozen yogurt cups for dogs) Kodi approves.


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## Sheri

Goodness sake, Karen! You and Kodi deserved seconds on the ice cream!


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## krandall

Sheri said:


> Goodness sake, Karen! You and Kodi deserved seconds on the ice cream!


I think we both had enough... He needed to have his "crunchy beard" washed when he got done!<ggg>


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## morriscsps

Is there any other way he can get the antibiotic? You would think there would be a different liquid option for diabetics. 

The Black Cow ice cream shop is yummy! We have been there (just a few times ) ourselves.


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## Atticus

Karen, I know how exhausting it can be to take care of someone, and scary too when you are alone waiting for home health to arrive! Thinking of you and hope things smooth out soon. Ice cream YUM!


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## krandall

morriscsps said:


> Is there any other way he can get the antibiotic? You would think there would be a different liquid option for diabetics.
> 
> The Black Cow ice cream shop is yummy! We have been there (just a few times ) ourselves.


Unfortunately, no. I guess they have to be very careful to use the right abx for staff infections, and this is the one it was sensitive to. 

The Black Cow is the BEST!!!!


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## Beau's mom

Karen - I hope someone explained to you that Dave's need for insulin is most likely short term. When things settle down (as his infection goes away), he will likely go back to his previous meds. Also, if you and Dave are not comfortable being left "on your own," TELL the VNA nurse!! She can get permission to keep coming if you are clear about being unsure and/or uncomfortable. All too often, health resources are so strained that they are too quick to leave patients -- and their families -- to fend for themselves. You don't have to let them! It is normal to feel overwhelmed in this situation (most people are) -- and no sin to cry uncle. It's bad enough that Dave doesn't take control of his care (as far as he is able). You shouldn't be made to feel as though you are the only one to "save" him. You don't need to demand anything -- just have a heart-to-heart with the VNA nurse (or the supervisor, if you must do it by phone).


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## morriscsps

Could the yoyo-ing of his blood sugar be contributing to Dave's neediness? You said that he didn't have to use insulin to control his levels before. Maybe all those ups and downs are making him emotional. Maybe having a nurse to hold his hand and reassure him would be best. 

How many more days of antibiotics does he have?


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## krandall

Beau's mom said:


> Karen - I hope someone explained to you that Dave's need for insulin is most likely short term. When things settle down (as his infection goes away), he will likely go back to his previous meds. Also, if you and Dave are not comfortable being left "on your own," TELL the VNA nurse!! She can get permission to keep coming if you are clear about being unsure and/or uncomfortable. All too often, health resources are so strained that they are too quick to leave patients -- and their families -- to fend for themselves. You don't have to let them! It is normal to feel overwhelmed in this situation (most people are) -- and no sin to cry uncle. It's bad enough that Dave doesn't take control of his care (as far as he is able). You shouldn't be made to feel as though you are the only one to "save" him. You don't need to demand anything -- just have a heart-to-heart with the VNA nurse (or the supervisor, if you must do it by phone).


So far, we haven't been overly impressed with the home health care person. But his doctor has been great, and has made herself very available to us.

And, yes, I do know the insulin isn't forever. I think, though, that that's part of what is making it hard to manage... his base blood sugar levels are going back down as he gets further away from the surgery, and the infection abates. So if we use the doses of insulin that we were sent home from the hospital with, he gets too low. His regular doc had us cut his long acting dose in half as of last night. We'll see how it goes with that.


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## krandall

morriscsps said:


> Could the yoyo-ing of his blood sugar be contributing to Dave's neediness? You said that he didn't have to use insulin to control his levels before. Maybe all those ups and downs are making him emotional. Maybe having a nurse to hold his hand and reassure him would be best.
> 
> How many more days of antibiotics does he have?


It would be nice to blame the blood sugar, but he has always been a baby about anything health related. He DID really need help when his sugar dropped so low the other night... I can tell the difference between when he really needs help and when he's being a baby. Or worse, what I REALLY hate is when he won't do what he's been TOLD to do by the doctor.


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## davetgabby

How's Dave doing Karen?


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## krandall

davetgabby said:


> How's Dave doing Karen?


Every day he seems a bit better than the day before, which is all good. They did another CT scan on Tues. (I think... I can't remember which day, we had so many appointments last week!!!) and the Abscess on his kidney has shrunk SLIGHTLY. Not as much as they wanted, but it's smaller than the first CT scan. He'll have another CT scan mid-June, and if it's not completely gone then, we may have to make the decision to have them go in and remove it surgically.

His back is healing nicely, and while he has some pain from it, if he doesn't over do it, I think he's been doing remarkably well with that part.

The bead news is that he is still running low grade fevers, his red blood cells are really low, and his white blood cell count (done Wed.) is up significantly from what it was a week ago. They drew more cultures on Thursday, to make sure the bacteria is still responding to the abx they've got him on and they will repeat a full blood panel on Monday to see if his other values are improving.

But although there are still things to be concerned about, and they are monitoring him carefully, they are VERY pleased that he is feeling a bit better all the time. He plans to go into the office on Monday for a couple of hours (the docs gave their OK) and see how he does.


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## davetgabby

slow but sure wins the race. Thanks for the update. Hugs to both of you.


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## krandall

Thanks, Dave! I hope you're coming along health-wise too!


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## Missy

krandall said:


> Every day he seems a bit better than the day before, which is all good. They did another CT scan on Tues. (I think... I can't remember which day, we had so many appointments last week!!!) and the Abscess on his kidney has shrunk SLIGHTLY. Not as much as they wanted, but it's smaller than the first CT scan. He'll have another CT scan mid-June, and if it's not completely gone then, we may have to make the decision to have them go in and remove it surgically.
> 
> His back is healing nicely, and while he has some pain from it, if he doesn't over do it, I think he's been doing remarkably well with that part.
> 
> The bead news is that he is still running low grade fevers, his red blood cells are really low, and his white blood cell count (done Wed.) is up significantly from what it was a week ago. They drew more cultures on Thursday, to make sure the bacteria is still responding to the abx they've got him on and they will repeat a full blood panel on Monday to see if his other values are improving.
> 
> But although there are still things to be concerned about, and they are monitoring him carefully, they are VERY pleased that he is feeling a bit better all the time. He plans to go into the office on Monday for a couple of hours (the docs gave their OK) and see how he does.


So very happy to read this report Karen. Hugs.


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## Suzi

I hope he continues to feel better . Darn staff infection really took a toll on him.


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## sandypaws

Glad to hear that Dave is doing better, even though he may not be 100% back yet. He'll get there, slowly but surely. Hope the abscess resolves itself without surgery and the infection eventually subsides with the meds. I know it can be a very slow process as these infections sure can kick ass!


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## jabojenny

Just catching up and happy to hear Dave is feeling better. I know it must be frustrating and scary with these setbacks but it sounds like everything is under control. Hopefully the improving weather will help to keep his spirits up, I love Spring.


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