# HELP!!!! New puppy and I am going crazy :(



## sweetlotus (Nov 26, 2008)

I NEED HELP! I just got a new puppy today and she cries soooo much I just don't know what to do. I am going crazy because I don't know how to make her feel better. I need her to sleep in the crate at night and I try not to pay attention to her when she's crying, but as soon as she stops I go to her and tell her she's a good girl and let her back out of the crate. Finally, after several times she quiets down and sleeps.... but then she wakes every 20 min and starts crying again!!! I take her to go potty each time she wakes then repeat the crate process... this is my 3rd time tonight and I can't keep going on like this. 

OMG, now she threw up!! I am so stressed out and I just don't know what I'm doing wrong... please, anyone help?? I am so upset and I feel like such an awful mommy and I really feel like she isn't attached to me at all. During the day today while I was playing with her she would make crying whiney noises from time to time like she was unhappy. Please give me advice as my heart is breaking and I am at a loss for what to do. 

Oh, and I don't think she is sick b/c I brought her to the vet today for a checkup and the vet said she is fine. I think *hope* she threw up b/c her diet changed a bit today..... we'll see tomorrow, but first I need sleep!!!!!


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## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

HI! Welcome to the forum. Your little girl is adorable. How old is she?

Let's start with what works for many. Put the crate on a chair or table by your bed. If she cries, reassure her by putting your fingers in her crate. If she can see you, she may relax.

At this point I will assume her vomit is from stress.

If you are still up watching TV it is OK to let her fall asleep in your lap.

Tell us more about her tomorrow.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

First of all, how old is Mochi? Am I right in assuming this is her first or second night with you? She needs some time to adjust, but the first thing I would look at is the location of her crate. Make sure that the crate is right next to your bed and bring it up to eye level (so she can see you). This will help her calm down.

Also, why are you taking her out of her crate when she stops crying if you want her to sleep? Instead, you need to just firmly say Quiet, go to sleep. Once she quiets, assume she's asleep and let her be. Stick your fingers in the crate when she cries to help calm her down. Don't take her out when she cries to go potty. I don't know how old she is but depending on her age she should definitely be able to hold it for more than 4 hours. Why are you taking her out so often? You need to be firm with her and ignore her. Buy earplugs and use them if you must, but don't take her out when she cries.

I know you said she went to the vet and s/he said that Mochi is fine but perhaps you can call and explain about her crying when you're playing with her. I'm not sure what that's about as I've never experienced that with Kubrick.

And lastly, take a deep breath and calm down. Mochi can pick up on the fact that you are stressed out and upset and I'm sure that it's not making her calm either. Keep us updated!


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## Paradise Havs (Sep 25, 2008)

Poor puppy and poor you! You are exhausted and puppy is stressed out, tired and missing his family! Resign yourself to a bad night's sleep. Your stress is adding to your puppy's stress. Throwing up is definately a sign of stress. I have found that the first night with puppies goes best if I actually put the crate next to me in bed or right next to the bed and put my fingers in the crate. Don't expect a good night's sleep tonight, but try to relax and send calming vibes to the puppy. She is an absolutely adorable puppy and is doing what every new puppy does! Can't wait to hear how your new puppy brings joy to your life--- the first night are just tough!


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## sweetlotus (Nov 26, 2008)

Ok, thanks for all the advice so far. I have put her higher up so she can see me and left a hall light on. She seems exhausted now as she just fell asleep on her ugodog. She is now sleeping in the crate. I let her out the crate everytime in case she needed to go potty. I guess that is too many times.....

I just got her today and she is 8 weeks old. I'm starting to think that I may have gotten her too young  She is just soo tiny and she seems so scared. I really hope she adjusts soon b/c it is breaking my heart that she is not loving me yet. Tomorrow is another day and we'll see how it goes. Thanks so much for the quick responses!!!


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## CacheHavs (Aug 2, 2007)

Hello and welcome to the forum. I would say that she is feeling very lost at the moment. A lot has change so fast for her, she is probably crying because she is trying to understand where her siblings are and she feels alone. Even though you are there, she is use to having canine contact. How old is your little girl. My guess would also be that the breeder did not prepare her to be by herself. You need to give it a couple of days and she will start to settle in, though you will go through a few days without much sleep. And it will also take her a few days to start feeling a connection with you.
All I can say is time. Hang in there and it will get better.


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## sweetlotus (Nov 26, 2008)

Thank you Heather, your words are really reassuring. I really hope that is the case and it's not because she hates me. I was starting to feel that way from how much she has cried. I got her from the breeder today and it was a 4 hr drive home. She pretty much cried the entire car ride. I will persevere for the next few days and hope she will come around.


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Awww, I bet she is just scared and not understanding anything. She looks really young in the photo. I definitely agree with the crate up next to you. The last puppy we had here we put it on one of the big tupperware containers and I stuck my hand in while she cried and she fell asleep within 10 minutes. I did have the lights completely off though. I have heard of people putting in clocks to sub as heart beats too. I would also call your breeder tomorrow and ask her how the dog was sleeping before. Anything you can do to transition your little pup will help the both of you. Keep an eye on the vomiting as it sounds like she may be very stressed out.


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## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

(((HUGS)))) to you. Your baby is young and scared. Many breeders do not let them go this young. I am glad you are here to have some resources.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

8 weeks really is very young. She's just scared. Just follow the good advice here and I think things will go better. :hug:


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## CacheHavs (Aug 2, 2007)

That is very young for a puppy to go to a new home. 
We usually keep our puppies until they are 10 to 12 weeks of age. In this time the puppies still have each other and they learn more and more with their siblings and their mothers in this most crucial time in their life. So you will now need to play the sibling and mother role for her. 
I'd say cuddle and play with her lots and when it is time for quiet time or bed that you give firm love tell her "quiet down" or "No...go to to sleep" and you are doing right by not taking her out of her crate until after she quiets down. At her age she should be able to hold it for at least 4-5 hours, but it may also take a little time for her to understand what you are asking of her. 
It shouldn't take her long to start getting the hang of things. 
Please keep us posted as to how things are going tomorrow should be a better day.


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Hold the pup lots so the puppy can bond with you, it will not take long. Have some scents from you in the cage (anything that smells like you, like old shirt, t-shirt). Then, the pup will not feel lonely when you are not there.

It takes a little while so the puppy can get use to his new home. 

Is the crate small and covered?


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Welcome, Lotus and Mochi~~

Bringing home a puppy is exactly like bringing home a newborn. You have to get used to one another, to bond, to learn what puppy's cries mean, her schedule, etc. etc. This takes TIME AND PATIENCE AND FAITH IN YOURSELF. She cannot love you yet, cause she's missing her mom and siblings. But very soon she'll become familiar with your smell, touch, the fact that you feed her, etc. and she will bond with you and love you. 

But right now, she is young and everything is new and strange and smells different. Try to see it through her perspective. Be calm, confident, and give her structure, and that will make her feel more secure~~ yet be flexible when things don't go quite according to plan. 

Did the breeder give you something to put in her crate to comfort her with her mom or siblings scent on it? Usually the breeder will do that. Otherwise , you can put one of your own t-shirts that you've just worn in her crate, and that comforts her too, as she is getting familiar with your odor. 

I'm not as concerned as the others re her vomiting, if it is just a small amount and doesn't keep on, since both my Havs vomited during the first 24 hrs I had them~~from the car ride, change in water, stress, and you mentioned a change in food. If possible, I would keep her on the food the breeder fed her, and only make a change very gradually. Just be sure you keep her hydrated and that she seems to be eating enough and keeping most of it down. 

Everyone has given you very good advice. I do think all that taking her in and out of the crate is stressing her out. Let her settle down and feel secure in there, let her fuss a bit. I don't think you should even really be playing with her much yet~~more like, just stroke her, cuddle her, hold her while you watch TV, til she feels secure. I feel like you are over stimulating her and she needs calm and quiet for now. And you need calm and quiet, so how about a glass of wine? I vote with Lina for the ear plugs, too. 

Lastly, why not call your breeder and see what they recommend? They know her best. 

I have had a new Hav puppy for one month (my 2nd) though he was older, about 14 wks when I got him. He cried and fussed constantly day and night at first. I thought I'd lose my mind, cause I hate sleep deprivation. But now he has totally settled in. You just have to be patient, and it will happen. Best of luck!! Keep us posted!


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## LuvCicero (Mar 31, 2008)

You have got good advice from all above. It just takes a few days for a new puppy to get use to being away from Mom and get use to all the new things in their life. A shirt you have worn in it crate is a big help. Just try to ignore the crying so she will know that doesn't get her anything - and hold and love on her. Stay calm....it will all start changing in a few days.


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## sweetlotus (Nov 26, 2008)

Thank you all so much for the tips and advice! I agree that she is too young... I just didn't know any better and now I feel terrible. 

Either way, once she was put higher up so that she could see me, she was much better. She still woke up about every 2 1/2 hours and I took her to potty, which she went. Now I am up and I opened the crate door but she just looked at me and went back to sleep! She doesn't even want to come out anymore. I will keep everyone updated on how she does tonight, but so far the outlook is looking so much better. 

I will also make sure to cuddle her more. I guess I thought puppies wanted to play so I kept trying to keep her entertained, but to be honest, I would have much rather have been cuddling her to begin with. THANK YOU ALL FOR THE ADVICE!


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

The first few weeks I felt like we were on the floor all the time! We played and snuggled Scooter but didn't put him up on any furniture, afraid he'd fall off. I'd try to be at her level during the day when she wants snuggles and play time. Scooter cried at night for a while, we didn't know to put him in our bedroom and he was downstairs, alone, in the laundry room. Now he's upstairs with us but I felt AWFUL hearing I'd done the wrong thing. He's fine though so even if you make mistakes these little guys forgive and forget.

Your puppy is precious, try not to worry too much and enjoy this time when she's so tiny.


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## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Hi and welcome to the forum. You have received great advice from everyone, and you will get alot of support here from others who have so much experience. This difficult time will pass and your puppy will get very attached to you. She's just been away from her canine family such a short time, so it will take her a little time to feel secure. Good luck.
Gina


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## Poornima (Jun 29, 2007)

Welcome! 

You have got very good advice here. I would also recommend you read the book "How to raise a puppy you can live with" and " The Havanese" by Diane Klumb. I believe these books would be very helpful along with your breeder's guidance and support. This is a wonderful forum of caring, supportive Hav owners. So please do keep us posted. Wish you good luck with adorable Mochi.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

There is little I can add to all the great advice you've already gotten from the group. But make no mistake, these little fur balls pick up on your tension and stress and it adds to theirs. I always tell people to think of the transition from breeder's home to yours as if this little puppy has been dropped off in a foreign land, with none of the familiar sights and sounds and no reassurance of mommy and siblings, and in which the inhabitants speak a foreign language. Imagine that puppy is you. How terrifying would that be? 

Just give her time, lots of love and continue to keep that crate where she can see you at night so she doesn't feel alone. Sending hugs and calming vibes from my house to yours.


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## micki2much (Feb 8, 2007)

Hi Lotus, soory to hear you had a bad first day but that is the TYPICAL first day for many! I got Seamus at 8 weeks, I do not think in the long run it made a difference. As a matter of fact he has been by far our BEST boy...easy to potty train, never any accidents, best temprement, most cuddly etc. Finnegan we got at 11 weeks, so far (he is 4 1/2 mons now) he is not fully potty trained, more devilish (but so cute lol), and won't sit still very long for cuddle time!!! Any way - *I think your doing great*!! And the create next to your bed was something I learned here as well and it was a LIFE SAVER!! and remember it does get better!!!!!


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## Paradise Havs (Sep 25, 2008)

I am so glad that you found this forum so soon after you brought your puppy home! You will have a fantastic resource as you and your puppy get to know each other! I didn't discover it until my dogs were all adults and I have learned so much and enjoy hearing about everyone else's Havanese's antics! Come to think of it, Eddie was about that young when I got him and he is my cuddliest dog! I remember thinking that he looked like a long haired guinea pig!


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

I don't have much to add that hasn't been mentioned already, but I did get Gucci at 8 weeks, and she is certainly bonded well with me, HOWEVER, I do think there is a lot more work entailed in getting a pup younger, you have to basically take on 'mom' role and teach them the things their mom typically does, nipping, etc. I basically was with her 24/7 for the first 3-4 weeks, lol

I never used a crate, she did much better in the xpen when I was gone and she just slept with me, so I don't know much about crate training.

Puppies are more work than people think, alot like babies  But they grow up quicker

She's adorable!
Kara


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## iluvhavs (Jul 21, 2008)

Welcome, Lotus! Sending calm vibes your way as well. I got Lucy when she was 9 weeks, but she was so tiny and fragile, I wondered if I had made a mistake. This forum is an invaluable resource for information on all things Havanese.

Hang in there. Mochi will settle in and pretty soon you'll be pulling out your hair about the next puppy crisis :frusty: Potty training is my guess!

It's absolutely normal that you are up every 2 hours or so all night. I read somewhere that a puppy can "hold it" typically his age (in months) plus 1. So a 2 month old pup is doing good by hold it for 3 hours. In about 2 weeks she'll be sleeping through for 6 - 8 hours at night. Their systems slow down when they sleep at night and they can go for longer periods of time without a potty break.

REMEMER, never wake a sleeping dog!! If Mochi is sleeping, leave her be!


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Lotus, it sounds like you are doing better and so is Mochi. Yay! Keep us posted and call upon us whenever you have a question. :grouphug:


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## sweetlotus (Nov 26, 2008)

Just a quick update... so far she is playing much better with her tail pointed up and forward (yesterday it was down and tucked between her legs). Everyone is right and I think she was just really scared and uncertain. Today I have been alternating between playing with her and putting her in the ex-pen for alone time. She is miserable in her ex-pen and has been crying non-stop. Eventually she does stop crying though and then goes to sleep or rests. The first time she cried for 30 min! I don't know if I'm doing the right thing by ignoring her for so long but I have to go to school for about 3 hrs a day and will be leaving her alone during that time. So I really really need to get her used to being alone. Please let me know if it's cruel to let her cry for so long and if there's anything else I can do.


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

Yeah, she's playing and happy! I don't have any advice on the crying part as we didn't use an expen so he was always out with us during the day and only crated when we had to leave or at night. He did cry when we would leave though, we just slowly extended the time we were gone.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

The crying is normal and you're doing right to ignore her. You're lucky she stopped after only 30 minutes... Kubrick could go on for an hour plus straight!


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## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

I remember when I first got Sissy. I wanted her to play in the laundry room with the
gate up. I first sat in the floor of the laundry room with a book and read and ignored
her and made sure she had plenty of toys. I would move a toy every now and then
and try to get her to play. Inside the laundry room I had her crate, toys, food and water.

Then I moved to the outside of the gate sitting very close so I could let her smell
my hand and just ignore her. I gradually moved away and then sat in the chair
about 5 ft away and she could still see me. She finally got use to it.

I also tethered her alot to me and she loved that because she was right with me.

Welcome, your baby is a cutie!


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## carohav (Nov 19, 2008)

I'm so happy she's going better for you. I'm adding my moral support to everyone elses  HANG IN THERE! She's going to love you and you're going to be the best Mommy!!


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## Evye's Mom (Dec 16, 2008)

I can empathize, I am a new puppy owner as well. The first 2 weeks were bitter sweet. I had expectations of bringing this adorable, sweet puppy home and life would be beautiful. I adored her yet life had changed drastically. I can no longer go to the bathroom by myself, no more walking out the door spontaneously, all this puppy preparation first. Cooking dinner, cleaning, eating dinner, watching TV, doing laundry, computer time, reading a book...all that has changed. BUT, not necessarily for the worse. Our first night she whined several times. I finally put her crate on the bed and out like a light. Fortunately I have a husband who tolerates that and a big enough bed to accomodate it. She is at the very foot of the bed, in her crate, and sleeps all night long, about 8 to 9 hours at a stretch. She just wants to know we are near. When I leave, I put her in her crate, whining or not. I don't make a big deal about leaving or make a big deal about returning. My computer time, she can be in the same room until/unless she starts getting into things she shouldn't. Then she goes in her crate. I have an ex-pen when we are eating, when I am doing dishes, cooking or anything that I can't keep close watch on her. She hates it but it gets better by the day. I ignore the whining and praise the good behavior (treats of course). Only problem is, she thinks it's her potty pen. I figure there are worse things than her peeing/pooping in her ex-pen, like chewing electrical wires, running into another room, eating/playing with something dangerous, chewing my drapes, getting stepped on, etc. I hear ya' loud and clear. I had no idea !!! They are just like babies, except babies stay put, pupplies are hypermobile. I wouldn't trade her for the world. I do recall our first week being so overwhelmed but like life itself, we fall into a routine. Toys !! Lots of toys and lots of play so to poop them out. I found having babies easier than having puppies. But like my children, I wouldn't trade my puppy for the word. Good luck. Five weeks into being a new puppy mom, I love it !!! You will too.


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## Evye's Mom (Dec 16, 2008)

Ooopps !!! Sorry about the typo in my above post. Pupplies ???


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Evye's mom, you just described life with a new puppy perfectly! Totally disruptive but also delightful. And fortunately, it gets much easier soon! They grow up!!!


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## Olive25 (Dec 22, 2008)

Olive was 8 weeks old too and I totally can relate! It was hard the first few weeks . Olive was waking up several times a night. Now she sleeps through but wakes up too early for us! She's an early riser and we like to sleep in. It sounds like you're doing all the right things. It will get better!! Enjoy...they get big so fast! Your little one has the same coloring! Olive is now 12 weeks old.


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## marjrc (Jan 13, 2007)

Lotus, I am very happy that you posted a thread and asked for help. It is hard to know what to do when we are stressed, tired, worried and really have no idea what to do! You are doing great, though, so don't worry. Please continue to update us and to ask any question you may have. Odds are that we've all had the same questions and then some..... 

There are many sites about crate training and ex-pen training, so check them out for more help. Havs are people dogs, they love us and need to be with us a lot, so yes, as Evye's mom has said, it is like having a newborn at home and it will take a few weeks for both of you to settle in. Hang in there and keep learning! The books Lina mentioned are great ways to understand the havanese puppy. 

Oh yeah. Once you have a minute or two, we'll be expecting pictures of your sweet Mochi, you know. :biggrin1:


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

You will do great, you can just tell how much you love Mochi, and Mochi will sense this and you two will have a wonderful bond, and you will survive puppyhood! I swear!

Funny, this thread brings back memories of me crying over being a 'bad doggie mom', I had a horrible time with the crate, training her to stay in it while I ran errands, etc) , the 3rd or maybe 4th time I put her in it, she threw such a fit, I came downstairs to a blood on her and the pad (she had cut her ear somehow, not major, but disturbing to the point where I balled my eyes out, I'm such a perfectionist I can't stand for things not to go as planned! lol So that was the end of the crate-days. DH could not tolerate her crying the first night in the crate, so he said 'put her in bed with us to settle down' (I was thrilled!) and that was that on her sleeping arrangements!

The ex-pen was not much better, but I did expand her to a gated area when she was about 4 months old, and by 6 months, she had mostly freedom in the house (except for the living/dining room, which I still keep her and the kids out of most days! lol)

I was fortunate that she has never been destructive and chewed things up besides my sewing patterns, which was resolved with a soda can w/ coins, but she never chewed the furniture, or cords, etc. That made it easier to give her freedom.

**Although, recently, I had a 7-8 mo. old dog I was pup-sitting chew my Mac charger and those aren't cheap to replace! LOL  ugh

Try leaving for short periods of time (10-20 minutes) and coming back so Mochi starts to realize that you ARE coming back, even a few minutes to go get the mail, you will see her get better. Gucci has some separation anxiety issues too, I know how hard that can be and guilty it can make you feel, hang in there!


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

I stayed home most of the time at first! I was a Starbucks regular and when I finally went in, snuck Scooter in with me, they were all asking where I'd been! Now I'm lucky to go once a week! I couldn't bear to leave him home alone and he'd cry when he was in his crate. That did stop and there are times when he has to go in if we have things to do but it seems as though we choose to be home more now. And it's no so lonely when you're home alone, you'll have your little furbaby to follow you EVERYWHERE you go in the house!


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