# Molly is WAY too attached to me!



## lulubella (Mar 25, 2008)

Help! Molly is completely and totally attached to me and is having major separation anxiety!

She follows me everywhere, and completely freaks if I walk away from her (if someone else is holding her on the leash). She also barks incessantly if I crate her when I leave or if I leave her outside in the ex-pen.

DH came home today while I was out running errands, and he let her out of the crate. She ran around the house barking until I came home! 

What do I do?? I have parties I have to go to every weekend in May including my daughter's Communion, and I am also out and about a lot during the week!


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## Doggie Nut (Oct 20, 2006)

Get another to keep her company!:biggrin1:


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

She is in a new home. It will take some time for her to feel secure there. give it some time. But don't give in or you will create a forever problem. I would also speak with the breeder to see what she did when this happened at their house...


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## lulubella (Mar 25, 2008)

Missy--the breeder said to shake a can with coins when she's outside barking. That was really all she told me though! I've tried the can and she could care less!


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## Poornima (Jun 29, 2007)

Molly may have never been on her own. If the breeder had other dogs, she has never learnt to be alone and bear the separation. You may have to set up a routine where she would be gradually trained to be alone. I trained Benji by the following routine:

Take my purse, pick up car keys, saying a phrase that indicates good bye" I will be back soon, you sleep, sleep", I gave him treats. I kept the TV on. He had his crate, water bowl and toys in the ex-pen. I started with going out for 5 minutes and gradually increasing it to 30 and more. It took about 2 weeks to get to 1 hour or more. Then I increased it even more. I work for 4 hours, 3 days a week and by the time I was ready to go back to work, he was fine and didn't have any anxiety. 

I tried to do the same with Lizzie but she got hysterical and Benji dug in his heels if she was whining and crying. She is still clingy but has got a lot better. I have never been able to to leave her alone. 

I hope Molly would adjust soon. You might want to have the books " How to raise a puppy that you can live with" and "Puppies for Dummies". I found them very useful. 

Wish you all the best!


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

It probably will take time for Molly to feel secure without you in sight. I think Diana had the same problem with Teddy! With our foster girl Gigi, who came yesterday, it was the same way. She NEVER left my side. Today, I stayed home from work and had her outside with my 3 Havs and did gardening. I ignored her (but kept an eye on her, you know those Mom's eyes in the back of your head) and each hour today she make progress., Moved away, visited with the other dogs, investigated the gardens. It was great. You just need to give her time!! I can say that Logan has never ever been left alone, so he too will bark if he is not left with a pup!! It will get better once she starts to feel a little more comfortable. 

Laurie


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

Sounds normal to me.  She is in a new home and you are the person she feels safest with. My little guy wouldn't let me out of his sight for about.....10 months! Now I can go just around a corner in the house and he's ok with it! That's why these are called companion dogs. They want to be with you all the time! Don't even think about going to the bathroom alone LOL! She should calm down a bit over time, but she would probably always prefer to be right with you if she could.


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

I had these issues with Henry when he was a pup. Not only is Molly in a new home, she's actually an infant. 

You need to make sure she feels safe and secure before you go away. Maybe even tire her out before you depart so she sleeps and sleeps.

Let us know if you still need help . . .


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## Tritia (Nov 17, 2007)

All mine prefer me. They follow me from room to room. I'm usually the one that has to let the two in crates out to the bathroom when we've been away, or they'll come looking for me. Instead of going outside. I told dh when we got Leo last wk, I wanted him to be more attached to the kids. But, it's never going to happen. I'm the one that he saw first. That picked him up, that has spent all this time with him. That just spent the last 45 mins, rocking him in a chair, LOL. Ok..maybe that's why he loves me so 

Anyways, it really does seem normal. Especially for the first wk or so. Leo has already started to break away from me some. I'm sure she'll come around. 
Good luck!


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## Posh's Mom (Dec 20, 2007)

You've gotten great advice so far.

Here's my .02, take it for what it's worth! 

Posh was six months when I got her from her breeder, at that time we did have another dog who has since passed, but he was a dane who didn't really interact with her much, so I wouldn't say they were playmates....

When I was home she was allowed "free roaming" of my very small main floor living space (kitchen living room computer area dining...it's all open) her crate is in the living room, where we mainly hang out as a family. At first when I would crate her for bed time or when I left the house (I would never be gone more than 3 hours) she wanted nothing to do with the crate-even though she did sleep in a crate at the breeders. Well, I fed her in her crate-with the door open and gave the command "kennel" with a treat every night and when I would leave. I did have to actually put her in the crate at first. It didn't take long for it click and now she runs into her crate when I say "kennel" because she knows she's going to get a treat.

Posh's crate, as I said, is in the main level of the house, and we sleep upstairs. She was an angel the first night (I'm sure she was in a bit of "shock") and didn't make a peep. The second night I heard her howling and barking. I did go downstairs to make sure she didn't have to potty. I took her out to pee, didn't give her any coddling and put her back in her crate with a treat and went to bed. She hasn't barked or whined in her crate since that second day home.

I do every once in a while take care of my SIL's cavalier spaniel, who is allowed to have free roaming rights all the time and sleeps in my Sister's bed. Since, I have enough little ones crawling in my bed in the middle of the night this isn't okay at our house. I use a crate with her which I place right next to Posh's so she doesn't feel alone. The first four nights or so (we had for 6 days) she barked at night. Actually, she barks quite a bit...when ever she even starts to woof I look at her and "growl" no bark and make a weird looking face. If she doesn't stop, I stop, pick her up, gently but sternly grab her muzzle and say "no bark." If she stops, I say "good no bark." By the fifth day Lucy (cavalier) was not barking at night in the crate. 

The missing you and following you is typical Hav behavior. Poshy loves my kids and my DH, but she is devoted to me and follows me everywhere. When I'm gone she pouts in her crate, usually, and even looks for me. We've had for six months...so I don't know if this will change for Molly. But, the barking and crate training can.

Are you signed up for any obedience classes? I think this is the best way for you and your dog to gain confidence.

Also, do you have a pretty flexible schedule where you can just tote her along? Posh comes with me to all of my errand stops. We hang out in the local coffee house at least a couple times a week. She gets to socialize with all sorts of people and I get out of the house. If my errands are going to take a bit more time aka she'll have to be in her carrier, I don't take her. She does awesomely in her "bag" I've snuck her in many places. I'm pretty sure the breeder didn't do this with her, she had 7 dogs...so it doesn't take long for these guys to get used to a carrier and enjoy being with you.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Susan,

It's all a function of time. So many others have gone through the same stage as you are right now. She will be fine as soon as she feels safe and knows this is her forever home. I would try leaving for short periods of time as I told you yesterday, a little longer each time. She will get used to having you there some of the time and not at other times. 

I know there are people here who have given treats that took some work to extract (was it from a kong?). If she can start to associate something pleasant with the separation, not only the fear, it will get easier. It just takes time. Try not to panic because she's likely to pick up on that too.

If you read back on some of the old threads you'll see how similar your feelings are. It will pass.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

You have gotten tons of advice and words of wisdom already, but I just wanted to add that I DO know all too well the 'separation anxiety'. Gucci had it terribly, and to this day, she will obsess over me if I'm gone, I have tried EVERYTHING. It's not 'gone', but it is better. Right now, if I leave to run an errand...she will sit at the front door (glass inset) and WATCH for me, she wont' move, lol...even if I'm gone 2 hours I'll drive up from where she can't hear me and sure enough, I see a little WHITE head in the door. 

Which, is much better than the panic attacks she had. She will still whine occasionally if I leave her with family members, and of course that sucks...but I'm not going to crate her. She has full roam, and always will. 

I think Molly will get better, it will just take time and patience. Right now, she is still 'building her bond' with you and once she gets to that secure place, where she knows you will always come back, she'll get better.

Kara


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

Amy/Posh'sMom has the right idea here- it is a matter of confidence.

Thus when you leave the home, don't say anything or even look back.
This way she will know YOU have confidence leaving her in the crate or in the care of husband, and she won't have to bark bark to protect herself.

Then when you get back, no big reunion.


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

Gryff still prefers me to everyone else in a big way, but when we first got him, he was my total shadow. I ignored him everytime he whined and cried while following me and praised him when he didn't. It worked in a few days.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

I would try crating her more often when you are at home . Get her used to entertaining herself with chew toys and especially kongs. Get the others more involved as well. When you go away do it without making a fuss. Just leave. When you get home do not suck her up after you get in the door. Its easy to coddle our dogs but sometimes they get hooked on our constant attention.


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Beamer used ot be like this to.. he would go mental if he could not see me. But now at almost 14 months old, he only freaks out half the time.. lol ,... So he is getting better.. I suspect he will be fine by the time he is 2... 

Ryan


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

^^^ he he ha ha ha, only half the time . . . .


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## Posh's Mom (Dec 20, 2007)

Just wanted to add that my post was dreadfully long and I am in no way an expert of doggieness...sorry if it overwhelmed you.

You will figure out her rhythms just like you did with your human babes.

Best of luck!


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## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

My 2cents, but something you have to know. The clinginess will probably not go away. It can get better, but it's like Hav tag, and you are it. They will always want to be where you are.

As for the separation anxiety, we started like others here - leaving them for 5 mins, then 15 mins, then longer. The day I was gone for an hour, I had separation anxiety. I couldn't wait to get home. Now, before I leave I just say "I'll be right back", and walk out the door. No big fuss or anything. They will run to the window and when I come home they are still sitting at the window.


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## Moko (Dec 11, 2007)

Oh, boy! I guess I'm gonna' be the pot-stirrer now! :suspicious:

I *KNOW* the separation anxiety is something to be worked out, I *KNOW* we shouldn't let them have their way, I *KNOW* we have to be dominant, but (ok...here goes!), you have to admit, even if it's just a little bit, that you *LOVE* being ADORED!

It's like having kids...you want to encourage independence, and they eventually set out on their own, but it's *SO* sweet when they DO want to be with you and think you're WONDERFUL...

They do grow out of it...too fast, and too soon...


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I have to tell you, Milo was like velcro in the beginning and he didn't want to be anywhere that he couldn't see me, but that's all changed. I think he's really comfortable in the house and with the girls. He definitely loves me but he's secure enough to roam around and investigate new places and new things without worrying about me being in view . . . and I love it. 

It's funny too because I say the same thing Michele does when I go out. I always say I'll be right back and I don't even look directly at them. I just go, but understand it was an evolution. It didn't happen overnight.


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## Me&2Girls (May 11, 2007)

You've gotten some great advice. She's more familiar with having lots of dogs around so now she's probably just unsure of how to entertain herself. I don't make a big deal when I leave the house, but have different phrases I use to signal how long I'll be gone. I have no idea if they understand, but it makes ME feel better. Most of the time I head out the door, MeMe heads straight for her crate and I praise her.


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## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

I remember when we first got Sissy and she wouldn't let me out of her sight. I would put her in the laundry room (oversize room) that opens to my kitchen and put up the gate. 

I would sit on the other side of the gate and read, work on paper work, talk on the phone, etc. Then I would move a little away - then go sit at the kitchen table - then walk out of the room, etc. It took several days. She gained her independence in that room. 

She has total run of the whole house now - we never crate her. When we leave I give her a treat and hold up my hand and say "bye" everytime. 

At first I crated her when I left but that frustrated her so I just started leaving the crate door open and when we would come back she would be in the crate sleeping with the door open. 

She now is wherever I am all the time but I can leave the room w/o her panicking.

It will get better.


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## CapotesMom (Apr 3, 2007)

Doggie Nut said:


> Get another to keep her company!:biggrin1:


ound:ound:ound:

ENABLER!!!!!


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## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

Actually, Vicki, I liked your solution of getting another one!

My second Hav (Scout) had separation anxiety. Once he bonded to the first Hav (Lincoln), he was fine when I left the house. Before that, I'd hear him barking as I walked to my car. He would stop after 5 minutes or so. But I made sure to close all the doors and windows in my house before I left.


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## lulubella (Mar 25, 2008)

Well, once again you have all come through with some amazing advice! I will definitely try some of your tips!

Last night was a rough one again--I really think she either has an ear infection or mites because she is scratching her ears like crazy at night. I think that's half the reason she keeps waking up. She has an appt. tomorrow morning with the vet, so hopefully that will help.


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## jillnors2 (Apr 12, 2007)

Poor Mollie. She came from a show breeder who has LOTS of dogs, so of course, the poor thing has never been alone. How old is she, almost a year? It will take some time to work thru the seperation anxiety. 

If she's scratching her ears, she probably has an ear infection.

My girl has seperation anxiety but she's fine as long as she's with another dog. She was used to being with a lot of dogs also.


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

I hope things are going better for Miss Molly!!!! I hope the vet appointment went well too.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Just want to let you know I'm thinking of you and sending calming vibes to your house. Hope tonight is better.


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