# Independent Puppy but Less Affection



## Gibbs Mom and Dad (Jun 3, 2013)

Dana and I made some conscious decisions to instill a sense of independence in Gibbs. We chose not bring him into our bedroom to sleep, and allow him to work out anxiety for himself. To clarify:

We always make sure he's safe, but when he cried the first few nights he slept by himself, we allowed him to calm himself.

When the thunderstorm hit, we didn't rush to comfort him. We allowed him to calm himself, and when he was relaxed, we put him on the couch with us.


Here's the "problem" - He seems like he doesn't like to cuddle or snuggle for more than 5 minutes. He loves to play and give kisses, but doesn't seem to enjoy being pet for more than 5 minutes at a time. He will occasionally stand on his hind legs to get up on the couch, but will always move to the far end.


I guess my question is:

By trying to instill a sense of independence, did we lesson his need for affection?


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## MarinaGirl (Mar 25, 2012)

Emmie was not a big snuggler when she was younger but has become a little more of one over the last few months (she's 16 months now). But she still only stays on the couch with me for 5-10 minutes at a time. The only exception was when she was sick when she just wanted to curl up in my lap. I don't think you need to worry about sweet cute Gibbs.  -Jeanne


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

How old is Gibbs now? I held Dexter a lot as a puppy and to this day he loves my lap and will sit next to me. Jack #2, time went so fast, he did not get a chance to lay on my lap like Dexter. Jack is independent. But, Jack is the one who will go to me to bed and Dexter will stay with Dad. If I am home, Dexter is with me.


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

I am not sure how old Gibbs is, but he is still fairly young, yes? We tried to do the same thing with Augie. He slept downstairs in his crate and we tried not to coddle him. My thinking was that should we ever have to leave him or were not there for him, I wanted him to be comfortable in his crate and independent and not needy. He really did not like being held much at all for the first year. Now, if I am laying on the couch, he will come and snuggle up - but it is always at my feet or behind my knees. When I sit in the recliner to read the paper, that is his lap time. He will stay as long as I stay in the chair. And maybe what we did has nothing to do with the way he is - maybe that is just him. Having them independent is much easier and less stressful to deal with, in my opinion. My guys can handle thunder storms and fireworks just fine as well. Finn does seem more needy and in need of attention than Augie and I don't know if that is because we already had Augie when we brought Finn into the house or if it is just his personality.


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## Tom King (Aug 2, 2006)

You didn't cause any changes. They're all different, just like people. He'll probably be more of a snuggler as he ages.


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## Gibbs Mom and Dad (Jun 3, 2013)

He will be 14 weeks tomorrow


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Gibbs Mom and Dad said:


> Dana and I made some conscious decisions to instill a sense of independence in Gibbs. We chose not bring him into our bedroom to sleep, and allow him to work out anxiety for himself. To clarify:
> 
> We always make sure he's safe, but when he cried the first few nights he slept by himself, we allowed him to calm himself.
> 
> ...


I don't think so! A lot of puppies are just too "busy" to be big cuddlers. Many become more "lap dog" oriented as they mature. Kodi has certain times that he likes to snuggle... first thing in the morning, and just before we go to bed at night. He'll come up to us and want some stroking from time to time during the day, but he spends most of his time sleeping NEAR me during the day, either in his (open) crate or on the floor if we are not near the crate. He is almost always in the same room with me. (If he's not, I get suspicious and go see what he's getting into! :laugh

Remember, though, every puppy (and dog) is an individual, and there are variations, even within a "companion" breed. Some just ARE more independent, while others are more clingy. I LIKE that Kodi doesn't have to be "on" me all the time. I work at home, and it might make it hard to get my work done. Appreciate Gibbs for who he is, and you will all find ways to enjoy a great relationship. But I don't think anything YOU'VE done has made him the way he is.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

Gibbs Mom and Dad said:


> He will be 14 weeks tomorrow


oh my goodness, he's still just a baby! Tillie was 14 weeks when we brought her home! lol

Some are born cuddlers, some aren't. Tillie will come for loves and snuggles and then will jump down and pass out on the floor. She comes to me when she wants snuggles, but has never been nor ever will be a 'lap dog' and that is okay with me! I'm too busy to sit still with her on my lap for long! lol


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## sprorchid (Mar 30, 2010)

They do change as the dog gets older. My 1/2 hav was never really cuddly, but he puts up with me, b/c he knows I like it. he was much more snuggly as a pup, and after he grew up (at about 1.5 yrs old), he came much more independent, but he always was independent, and not much of a lap dog.

Funny, my little guy gets VERY cuddly when he thinks he's in trouble, lol. I wouldn't worry about it. If you want him to sit on your lap our next to you, I don't see an issue with moving him to the spot you want him to be in.

I will say, these little guys are very aware of your energy and mood. I'm sure if your pup senses how happy you are when you cuddle him, he'll do it just to please you.


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

Fred was not affectionate at all as a pup. As an adult, he is now the biggest cuddler of the 3! I love how affectionate he is. As soon as I lied down to go to bed or watch tv, he climbs onto my chest and lies down on me.


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## Targaryen (Apr 10, 2013)

We had Whitman before we got Tyrion and I was shocked at how cuddly Tyrion was when he came home. Whitman would come over to play or get a quick hug but for the most part he was busy playing or doing his own thing.

He is getting more cuddly as he grows up but I don't see him being a super affectionate lap dog, his father isn't either.

They're all different, just like us.


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## Pucks104 (Aug 16, 2012)

Leo is a wonderful cuddle bug! He is not the least discriminatory in who he will cuddle with. I think each puppy is an individual and though they may cuddle more or less as time goes by I suspect that the tendency to be cuddly or not is part of their basic temperament! We should accept each of them as they are and enjoy their individuality as they must live with ours!


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## Ruth4Havs (May 13, 2013)

Agree that he just might not be a cuddler, and neither is Chester. Some puppies like to cuddle, others don't.


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## RoutineAvocado (Feb 6, 2013)

If you do want to encourage more cuddling, you can try holding his favorite chew in your hand (unless its a bully stick-gross). Himalayan chews are less nasty as long as you don't drop it and pick up the slobbery end. Zelda could sit on my lap till the end of time working on her chew and snuggling. After a few weeks, she learned to find a chew and come seek me out to hold it for her. She's still independent and spends hours home alone every day. I knew that teaching her that chewing is a communal activity would result in me holding a chewie for the next 15 years, but I love the time together.

Sent from Petguide.com Free App


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## DebW (Jun 11, 2013)

RoutineAvocado said:


> I knew that teaching her that chewing is a communal activity would result in me holding a chewie for the next 15 years, but I love the time together.


Love it!


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

Henry is also not one to cuddle. He likes a 2 foot radius from me, follows me from room to from. Only occasionally does he flop down by my feet and rolls over onto his back so I can give him a belly rub.


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## sandypaws (Aug 8, 2012)

Bailey was a cuddler and snuggle bug. Tyler, on the other hand, is not. He is very independent, but it may stem from the fact that Bailey always pushed him out of the way when they both came to me for loves. Tyler would give up and walk away. Whenever I tried to hold Tyler, Bailey would get very jealous and bark at him. I think he decided I wasn't worth fighting about. Now that Bailey is gone, I can hug Tyler, but he is definitely not a lap dog, struggling to get down if you pick him up. Just like my human kids, they are all so different.


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