# Havs and babies



## Atomickittyn (Aug 25, 2007)

I'm just curious whether anyone here has had a new Hav and a new baby. We're moving into a new house soon and I'd like to get another Hav to keep my Yoyo company. However I'm also getting married in May and plan on starting a family right away. Everyone thinks I'm crazy for taking on 2 dogs and a new baby. So just wondering if anyone out there has any stories or advice.


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## HayCarambaMama (Dec 8, 2007)

Yeah... everyone told me that too. That's why I waited until "my baby" was 4 before adding furkids. I see all the time on Craigs List people getting rid of their dogs when they get pregnant or have a baby because they can't do it all. Sad.  As an OB nurse and childbirth educator (and mommy to 4, of course!), I can assure you that your life with just a newborn baby will be very, very full: breastfeeding, exhaustion, etc. You mostlikely will discover a new meaning to the words "busy, stressed, worried." LOL But, I don't know, you may be one of those superwomen who can handle puppy and newborn!
BTW, many, many congratulations on your marriage!!! Yay! And if you have any pregnancy or newborn questions, feel free to ask!


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## dboudreau (Jan 12, 2007)

When I had my human babies (now 3 & 6) we had adult German Shepherds, with patience and lots of supervision the dogs welcomed the babies to the family. But I waited until my youngest was 18 months old before I added a Havanese baby to the family. For me it would have been impossible to handle housetraining a puppy and nursing a baby at the same time. Even at 18 months, it was tricky when I was alone, to take the pup out to go potty, I had to grab the pup in one arm and the baby in the other. To make things worse it was winter. 

But if you were able to get a new pup now, by the time the baby came, the pup would be trained. So you would really only have one baby at a time. 

Where there is a will there is a way!


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## Atomickittyn (Aug 25, 2007)

well we would probably be getting the new puppy in june and if things go as planned, i would be having a baby in april/may, so the "puppy" would be as old as yoyo is now. 

but i don't think i have the slightest idea how tough a newborn baby is going to be, obviously!


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## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

We don't have human children unfortunately, but we've raised two puppies and they are a lot of work. Havs seem to remain puppy like for a long time. If it were me, I'd wait until my human child were older. If you get a puppy and then have your baby, guess which one goes bye bye or gets the short end of the stick if it turns out to be too be more work than you thought it would? 
Congratulations on your upcoming wedding though!!


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Wow- buy stock in starbucks right now!!! <BG> I only have furkids but I can see how things could easily get overwhelming. I also really like that I put 2 years in between my furkids. I was able to really bond to each of the girls and have them trained the way I want before I had to concentrate on all the training that goes into the new puppy.

Amanda


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

Babies are a lot of work - moreso than your pup(s). When you have to spend an hour getting your baby ready just to leave the house and he/she ends up spitting up or having one of those really messy diapers that you have to go change and change his/her clothing too. The last thing you are going to want to deal with is a rambumctious pup that just snuck a pee on your carpet.

I'm foreseeing a recipe for frustration.

When you pack up Baby for a trip to Grandma's house (or Auntie's or whoevers) for an afternoon visit, do you leave two dogs home alone or do you take your *one* dog with you? It is much easier to take one dog, if you take any, when you have a baby.

Some people can handle it, but my advice would be to enjoy Yoyo now, and work with him on developing your bond together. When Baby comes around and joins the family, Yoyo will be a helper to you and will probably alert you of any of Baby's cries, etc. When Baby gets a bit older and is walking around comfortably and talking, and you know the load you can handle, you might want to revisit the thought.


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## DAJsMom (Oct 27, 2006)

Having a new baby is stressful and exhausting. Your dog or dogs will suddenly go from "baby" status to "in the way". People add children to a house with dogs all the time though. Maybe having two dogs would make it easier on the dogs because they would have each other for company. I don't know. I'd think this through pretty carefully. It's a given that you will be devoting most of your time and attention to a newborn, and the dogs will get much less, and you will be tired! What can you reasonably handle? It's hard to know ahead of time-I know I had no clue!
Sounds like you have lots of exciting changes coming. Congratulations!


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## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

If you really would like to have 2 dogs, have you considered getting an older (trained) Hav? Many breeders have older dogs that need a new home. Just a thought.


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## Tritia (Nov 17, 2007)

Wow, this is REALLY hard. I'm all over the map with this one.

My first thought, is I honestly can't imagine having my two small dogs back when I had newborns. I know for a fact they wouldn't have gotten the attention they do now. Yes, now THEY are my "babies". If we had another newbie right now, yikes..they'd be devastated, lol. We had a big dog (golden retriever) while we were having babies, and he was GREAT. But, as much as we loved him and cared for him...he was more of a dog. He didn't sleep in our bed, didn't sit on our laps. He wasn't NEAR as demanding for attention as these two little yappers are  I've seen so many pups end up at the shelter or advertised "free to good home", after babies arrive. Breaks my heart. Not saying that would happen to you, of course. Just that babies/kids turn a house upside down, even in families with the best of intentions.

Now, the other side of that. Maybe two dogs dealing with a new non fur sibling would handle the jealousy better if they had each other??
And not to be a negative..but I'd hate to see you hold off on getting another dog if that's what you want so bad. Because you have this plan of having a new baby in a yr. I'm VERY fortunate to have the four kids I have. But, I suffered yrs of infertility. I know there are other woman on this board that have as well. So, guess I'm saying realistically..as nice as a plan to have a baby in your arms by next April. It sadly doesn't always work out that way  Statistcly, it can take months..or yrs.


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## HayCarambaMama (Dec 8, 2007)

Havtahava said:


> Babies are a lot of work - moreso than your pup(s). When you have to spend an hour getting your baby ready just to leave the house and he/she ends up spitting up or having one of those really messy diapers that you have to go change and change his/her clothing too.


Woof! Do I REMEMBER those days!!! I would have to start getting ready to get to pediatrition appts two hours ahead of time!! And, I'd arrive at the appt 15 min LATE and completely frazzled! LMBO! Crazy!


Havtahava said:


> When Baby gets a bit older and is walking around comfortably and talking, and you know the you can handle, you might want to revisit the thought.


_Although_, it would be sooo hard to potty train a toddler at the same time you were potty training a pup! Does anyone remember bringing that little potty all around the house while your toddler is running around naked from the waist down! LOL!

But part of me does AGREE that if Yoyo had a friend, it might make the new baby thing easier for him. What a tough decision.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

I would personally wait or get the second dog earlier. If you really want to go that route, that is. I think that it's okay to have dogs and a newborn baby as long as the dog is older and trained and that you give it plenty of attention even with the baby around! I know, easier said than done, but if that's what you really want, then that's what you will have to do. I have a cousin who just had two kids in the last three years and she had a 2-3 year old dauchsund when the first one was born. She still adores her dog to pieces and takes pictures of the dog, just as much as of the kid. That's basically what I think you need to be like if you want to do this. I am NOT saying that a dog is just as important as a baby, but he is, after all, a part of your family.

I would really think this over before you add a younger dog and a newborn into the mix.


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## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

I think you should get an older dog, if you want to add soon.


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

From my experience as a mother and from watching what happens with others I would say wait on a second Hav. I think you'd be happier in the long run with one dog and a baby. Then the baby is a toddler, small person, etc. It takes plenty of time to train one dog in good family behaviors and you could really be putting some great energy into that now. With two dogs in the home it's harder to instill good behaviors and then with a little one you don't have much time for it all. That first year with a new baby is stressful and I sure can remember feeling tired and crying and getting sweaty and overtired just trying to get out the door with the baby, the diaper bag, the stroller, the car seat and all that gear! Later on, when your little angel is walking you would have two rambunctious run like hells and a little one that could be tipped over or fearful... Gee, it sounds like I didn't enjoy motherhood! That's not the case at all! I have four wonderful children and have loved it! But I sure do remember how hard it was, especially in the beginning! 

Congratulations on your upcoming wedding!!


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## Posh's Mom (Dec 20, 2007)

Great advice so far from all.

Such a personal decision, but I appreciate that you are putting your vulnerability aside to allow some of us to give you the ever beloved free advice! 

I have two human babies who are now 8 and 4. We had a border collie who was 4 when my oldest was born, and we got a dane puppy when he was 18 months old. All I can say is that the reality vs. fantasy lesson was dealt to me. The fantasy of having a dane puppy and a small child vying for my attention, meanwhile breastfeeding, learning to be a new mom, anxiety, etc... propelled me into "the reality of having a dane puppy and a small child." Obviously, we got through it all, together, but it took sooo much out of everyone. My husband was pretty jealous of everyone, puppy, dog, and infant. He was pretty low on the totem pole for awhile. 

I would also have to say that you should wait and enjoy YoYo before baby, or puppy again come into your life. AND ENJOY YOUR HUBBy (and grocery shopping, small trips to Target, long showers, trips to the bathroom only followed by Havanese, no one saying "mom mom mom mom" constantly....) If you're a bit "baby/puppy crazy" right now, foster a rescue for a shelter, or volunteer to play with dogs at a shelter, volunteer to read to kids, or maybe sign up for a fun doggie class with Yoyo.

Good Luck!

Yoyo is a great name. It was on my list for puppy names. Posh took the pressure off me, as we got her at six months and she was already named.


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## Atomickittyn (Aug 25, 2007)

<sigh> I'm so torn up about this but after reading all the great advice you all have given me, I guess it is the best decision not to get another Hav puppy right now. We also considered rescuing an older Hav but he/she would require a lot of attention since we would have to bond as a family, develop trust, etc. And I would be depending on my mom or in-laws to care for the baby and dog sometimes so having 1 dog would be easier (and more fair) for them than having 2.

So in the end, no additional Hav for us for now, which I realize is probably the best decision.

Thanks, this has been a wonderful, eye-opening discussion!


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

Everyone is different and some women really are wonder women .
Every baby is different as well .. Some babies are very easy and sleep through the night at a fairly early age . Other babies are not - they have the colic and certain allergies and food sensitivities which make the first few months even harder . 
.. Puppies are similar - some are placid, happy and easy going others are more assertive and demanding . Some learn their potty habits early and are easy to train and some of us are still struggling with dogs that are a year old .. It seems like seperation anxiety is becoming more prevalent in this breed .. 
There are so many periods of development in Havanese puppies and newborns . I can also understand your desire to have a companion dog for the dog you own now .. They might be such a happy combo once the baby is born it may be just what he needs to accept the baby more easily .
It would be presumptuous of me to tell you what to do as I do not know your what options you have . Maybe you have a Mom and family nearby who can help and support you with your newborn and your puppy ,maybe your husband can work from home and he can share in the reponsiblities of helping with the baby and share in the training and dog walking , maybe you chose to bottle feed versus breast feeding .. Maybe you can afford to hire support such as a nanny in the begininning or a doggie sitter and helper 
Some woman are real doers and overacheivers they thrive on these challenges and do great and others think they can at the time but then once the baby comes they cannot do it all and they get frustrated and overwhelmed . Then the doggies have to go .. 
Remember also there are hormonal changes with pregnancy and some women do just fine and others do not and they struggle with depression and anxiety .. post partum 
So I think the people here have been very helpful and have given you a lot of fantastic advice and painted vivid pictures for you but only you know you and your husand know your coping and endurance level .
Just remember the change in your life when you welcome either a newborn or a puppy is dramatic . .
No way my daughter in law could have managed a puppy and her new baby .. 
Good luck on your decision


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## mom23girls (Nov 26, 2007)

I have to say, I wish I had asked that question before I had my first baby! We had a Golden who was about a year old when I had Alex & he NEVER, until the day he died, adjusted to his position as "number 2". He was our first baby and couldn't handle sharing my attention. We waited a long time after he passed away before getting Amy. My oldest baby is now 9 1/2 and our youngest is 4. We also got an older dog this time around. This scenario has worked out much better than the first!! Congrats on your wedding, this is such a wonderful time! Enjoy it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:whoo:


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

I agree _ Sorry I got caught up in the thread And I did not wish . Congratulations on your engagement and your wedding and you should focus on that day for now .. That is sucha special day to share with your family and friends .. 
Plenty of time to rethink the addition of a new baby and a new doggie .. 
As to should or should of 's you still have time to think it through again sometime down the road ..
I got Ahnold when he was not quite one - I did not feel the husband could handle another puppy .. It worked well for us but there is just the two of us and Cosmo ..I got a older (2 years old )dog when my son was a toddler .. I bought him from a very abusive family . I literally rescued him as he had been sent back by two families .. Considering his history I think he did very well adjusting to our home . I was somewaht nieve about dogs then and we just muddled through .
They were days when it was very challenging a little one and a dog . He was a terrier and he ran away constantly . He did love my son and my son loved him and that was all that mattered .. 
I can relate to the story about the golden - I do not know how my shorthair would have dealt with a baby .. I am sure he would have accepted it but he would have been depressed and dejected in his change of status from 1-2 ..


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## Atomickittyn (Aug 25, 2007)

thank you for your weddings wishes.


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## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

Atomickittyn said:


> <sigh>
> 
> So in the end, no additional Hav for us for now, which I realize is probably the best decision.


First Congratulations. How exciting. I wish you the best of health and happiness and a very blessed married life.

I think you made the right decision. I couldn't imagine a new puppy with just the craziness of planning a wedding. I found it very stressful and probably would have eloped. LOL Only kidding. It was worth it but stressful.

Also, babies require a lot of work. Plus, if a baby is born with special needs (collic or another health issue) you will be spread thin and super exhausted.

You are very wise though to pose the question. Most people don't think and don't plan. Best of luck to you.


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## Sunnygirl (Jun 1, 2007)

Congrats on your engagement. I hope that second Hav will be somewhere in your future.


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