# Small Victories and Making Progress



## Petaluna (May 9, 2008)

I had my first major puppy meltdown yesterday and was seriously thinking about whether I'd made a giant mistake and should take her back before we got too attached to each other. 3 days unshowered and way behind in my work, house trashed, my patience wearing thin. She was bored despite several hard play breaks both inside and out, and I don't blame her.... she's by herself in the ex pen next to me while I'm working all day, and after all, she's a puppy. She was SO bitey, I couldn't hardly get near her when she was wound up, hands and clothing were fair game and I have the puncture wounds and holes to prove it. Substituting acceptable toys, chewies, or yelping and stopping the play was not phasing her. I started calling her a little attack monkey. I was REALLY over it by evening and not liking her so much, wondering what I'd gotten myself into. Then DH came home and she sat with us in the living room for awhile, on a leash, chewing it part of the time but then settling down, and then...just before bed... she walks to the back door, looks at the door, looks at me, back at the door. Do we have to go out?? Yes! Poopie on the front lawn!! Hey, not in the $500 gravel area we just had built for this, but who cares - she's been here just 10 days and she TOLD me what she had to do! You rock, Violet. And, for the first time we tried just the crate, not inside the ex pen, with the door closed for sleeping, and she made it all night, no accidents and no crying. 

So, today, I think I'll keep her. The little bratty genius dog.


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## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

:whoo: Didn't I tell you it'll peak and all of a sudden change? But be prepared for more set backs, that way you won't be too disappointed. Just remember that the annoying behaviors become less and less frequent.


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## HavaBaloo (Mar 24, 2009)

Yeah Violet! Give Mommy old heck...test her patience then say "it's okay Mommy" I go poo!  It only gets better Diane, but trust me there will be days....


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## Petaluna (May 9, 2008)

I know Maryam...you were right, and I'm not getting my hopes up this is somehow a turning point to perfection already.... two steps forward, one step back.... I needed the break of her doing something good last night and it came at just the right time. She's biting again today, pulled the covers off the bed, dragged my shoe down the hallway... not happy about going back in the ex pen after a morning break, but she caved and quit chewing the crate and now she's sleeping, thank god. ...I keep telling myself the point of putting us through this difficult stage is to have the opportunity to shape her into a really nice, well behaved adult. When will that be exactly? lol! By the time she's maybe 3 ? I need to take up drinking. Too bad it gives me a headache...

She's definitely teething, I can see them coming in more - this must be her puppy teeth so I guess we'll go through this again with the adult set. Is there anything I can give her to make her more comfortable? Something to fill with water and freeze maybe? I wonder if just an ice cube on a pee pad or towel would help.


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## luv3havs (Jul 27, 2007)

Try freezing a wet facecloth and give it to her to chew on.


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## LuvCicero (Mar 31, 2008)

Diane, you are doing great. It is hard at times. If you will just stay with it for 2 or 3 more months ( I know that seems like a long time..but) you will have a great dog for 'years'. I remember when Cicero would go outside for a week...then have an accident and I would be disappointed, then have to remind myself quickly that one accident in a week was so great. Just ignore her and clean it up and before long there won't be any accidents!! The puppy stage is hard...but they are puppies and will learn from you fairly fast. The biting drove me nuts also...then it stopped. Nan is right about a cold washcloth...Cicero loved them.


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## DAJsMom (Oct 27, 2006)

It's wonderful when the big positive thing comes just at the right time! 
Hurray for Violet!


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## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

Diane, Pablo bit me A LOT too and the only thing that ended up working is: don't get mad and immediately stop playing, uneventfully drop any toys and promptly but SLOWLY move away from the situation and ignore the pup. If she continues, pick her up and put her in her ex-pen with toys and ignore her until she calms down. If you do that several times, she'll get it.


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

I give Murphy a bowl of crushed ice and he loves it! Do it outside or on a pee pad though, it makes a mess but easily cleaned up since it's just water. The washcloth thing is a good idea too.

I was just thinking yesterday how good Murphy has been doing with potty training and this morning he peed on my wool rug RIGHT IN FRONT OF ME!!! That's what I get for thinking we'd made it. Don't be disappointed if she seems to go backward because it probably will happen. Smart little girl going to the door, good Violet!!!


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## murphymoesmamma (Apr 1, 2009)

Hi Diane,

Your little Violet's actions remind me so much of the problems that I had with Murphy. I would get on the floor to play with him and he would bite me terribly. I had to stop getting on the floor with him for a time and when he would bite I would say no and hold his snout closed but I was afraid that I would inadvertently hurt him so I just gave him a verbal reprimand. The biting stage lasted maybe a month. The potty problems are getting much better with time but he is still not 100% reliable. Don't feel bad when you wonder if it was a smart move to get Violet. I would bet most of us would say that we had our moments and on a regular basis when they first came home. Good luck and your little girl is adorable!

Holly


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## mishelly1976 (Jan 12, 2009)

Petaluna said:


> I had my first major puppy meltdown yesterday


It took you this long??? I had my first (of a few) crying breakdown within 24 hours!!! :Cry: LOL!!!!


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## dcc (Feb 25, 2009)

*felt the same way*

I too wondered what have I got myself into, a couple of weeks after I got my Chloe. She is now 5 months old and I wouldn't trade her for anything, so your biggest problems will pass quickly as far as the calender goes - eternity when your going thru it. I still remember. Housetraining was the hardest for me. But looking back I've only had her 3 months, the first month was the hardest. She caught on quickly to go outside, but didn't understand that the whole house was off limits. I think I caught her going in every room of the house, if I forgot to keep all doors closed or let my guard down. The last accident she had ON PURPOSE I caught her going under the bed. (What was up with that - but that was weeks ago). So now I think she finally understands which is a relief but Now I'm dealing with a little leakage when scared (of new people or places or too excited when I come home, or first thing in the morning) I have an over active - excited schnauzer that doesn't help at all in that area- not a good mentor at all. But I'm trying to ignore her like suggested by others in the forum. I bought a urine detector light and some more urine remover and decided to just chill out about it cause she is not doing it on purpose and when she looks up at you with those sweet eyes, you can't get mad. She loves chew bones and can pacify herself for long periods of time with those. She stops biting as soon as I reprimand her, but the schnauzer was really bad about biting and nipping at your heels, finally out grew it I guess, nothing I tried ever helped. I know the frustration.

Reading in earlier post, I started to tell you I put mine in a crate at night, but I didn't have an ex pen or want her to use pads. I would get up and take her out if she whined or scratched then put her right back (kept everything as quiet and dark as possible) she would go back in easy and quiet. She still goes easily to bed (and doesn't need out) in a bit larger crate (kept hearing her tossing and tail hitting the sides in the smaller one) But she thinks she has to be in the same room. Good luck and hope it helps that after having mine less than 3 months I wouldn't trade her for the world
Donna


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## Petaluna (May 9, 2008)

it does help, Donna, thanks! I am back and forth all day long, I noticed first thing in the AM is tough because there is so much activity with her before I can get started working, then I'm confident for awhile, but by the end of the day when I realize how much i still haven't gotten done and still have to do, and she is wanting attention I don't have time to give her, I start losing hope and resenting the furry little fish breath monster, cute as she is. My mom actually came over today to "relieve me of duty" for a few hours and it helped. I am finally about to get a shower after nearly 4 days, and I think I've missed my chance to grocery shop, but I'll pick us up some dinner and have a bit of a break. It's been nothing but puppy and my job since I got her home. Poor husband has had to do his own laundry, but he didn't get my hints about the shopping. Maybe when he runs out of his special favorites he'll make a trip.  In his defense, he hasn't wagged a finger at how much I have spent FOR this dog and ON this dog, considering he didn't want a dog. 

Shelly - I don't know why I didn't have a meltdown sooner. It was more like low level depression and panic for awhile - lol. And almost too busy to bawl. The actual waterworks didn't start until last night for some reason. How are you doing now?


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## Petaluna (May 9, 2008)

btw, I don't have kids and I don't know how you mothers of actual humans do it. Seriously. And some of you with puppies on top of it. Do you have superpowers or something?


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## Evye's Mom (Dec 16, 2008)

Diane, I remember the showerless days and in many ways felt I was going through a "postpartum depression." I loved this little "brat" so much but my life was in total choas. For a "control freak" like me, it totally disrupted my apple cart. Needless to say, when Evye was less than 5 months old, I had the second "Hav" baby addition to our family. Selective memory. It's a balancing act. As much as you cannot wait for the biting and totally disruptive life to be a thing of the past, in trade you forfeit everything endearing and adorable about a baby, adolescent pup. Aside from their not so favorable traits, everything else about them melts your heart. Their smallest victory like running to the door to let you know they had to potty (in the wrong place) is reassurance we did something right. Bentley is 5 months old and I already wonder "how did this happen and where is my baby"? It gets better...in a blink of an eye.


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## Evye's Mom (Dec 16, 2008)

Petaluna said:


> btw, I don't have kids and I don't know how you mothers of actual humans do it. Seriously. And some of you with puppies on top of it. Do you have superpowers or something?


It only conditions us to redefine our definition of perfect.


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

Petaluna said:


> btw, I don't have kids and I don't know how you mothers of actual humans do it. Seriously. And some of you with puppies on top of it. Do you have superpowers or something?


DRUGS! I'm kidding, sort of, but it is hard! If it was really so bad though nobody would get a second one! My OB told me that when I was pregnant the second time so I guess it's true with puppies too. At least you can put a dog in a crate and go out, you can't do that with kids!

Scooter and Murphy go to bed at 10:00 almost every night. Even if one of us is staying up later they still go with whichever one is going upstairs. We either read or watch TV for a bit but they calm down and go right to sleep. You'll get into a routine and it will get better.


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## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

My hands were full of holes and raw with my standard poodle. On top of that, potty training was out of the question and a standard poodle puppy has a heck of a river. I did all the right things, she had her own way. That lasted till she was 4 months old then someone in Petsmart told me to hang bells on the back door for potty. I thought they were nuts but there's only so much a carpet can take so I bought a parrot bell. The next day she was fully potty trained. 
Then the puppy teeth came out and the hand chewing stopped.....good thing cause they sure hurt by then. Those puppy teeth are like needles!
After that she became the perfect dog and reads me like a book. She's too smart for both of us but she puts up with me anyway  Hang in there and let your puppy mature.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Those "I must have been crazy thinking I wanted a puppy" moments do pass, as do the days and weeks of puppy splendor as they learn so many things for the first time. The bounding in that adorable and strictly havanese way, the look of adoration as they lick your face or your hand or your ankle wet from a shower, the shredded toilet paper or tissues . . . all of it goes by so fast and suddenly you have a new companion, a grown up, less frenetic version of the baby you once knew and loved.

It all goes by so fast that you find yourself longing for the puppy that once was, and lo and behold, so many of us find ourselves searching for yet another hav :angel:.


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## Duncan'sMom (Apr 5, 2009)

Nothing to add, except to say thank you for everyone who wrote reassuring words on this thread. I've been experiencing a lot of the same issues this week, and I keep telling DH that the "havanese forum people" say it will get better, and somehow that is helping us keep out patience...


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## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

Diane,

She is just a sweetheart. Try peanut butter on your hands and teach her to lick and kiss instead of bite. When Sissy would bite my hands I would take a loud breath and act like it hurt. 

Hang in there - it gets so much better.


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## Petaluna (May 9, 2008)

I've read all your posts about ten times. Thank you for the encouragement! I was talking to my mom about it last night, and she keeps pointing out that I have to remember "she is a dog," and she won't die if she has to hang out for hours at a time while I am working, and we will play when I can take a break. My schedule, not hers. I tend to feel guilty if I think she's bored, which then makes me stressed, and I start seeing her as the source of the stress, when in reality it's at least partly my perception of the situation. It's like that with anything, I guess. How you look at something affects your experience of it. 

I'm eating a Tim Horton's sausage and egg breakfast sandwich for the second day in a row instead of my usual fruit & greens smoothie because I still haven't shopped and they are close by and quick. This is the worst kind of food for me, and I'm way behind in my work, but I woke up deciding today that I cannot get unhealthy and go broke because I brought home a puppy, so I have to find a way to make this all work. 

Again, small victories - yesterday I think she figured out fetch, which is a great lazy way for me to exercise her if she'll bring the toy back, and also gets her obeying commands for a non-food reward.


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

It will get better every day! I sat on the floor for months with Scooter, I felt like I couldn't let him be if he was awake. Not so much with Murphy! LOL


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## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

Scooter's Family said:


> It will get better every day! I sat on the floor for months with Scooter, I felt like I couldn't let him be if he was awake. Not so much with Murphy! LOL


Ann, I did too with Sissy. I would sit in the floor and read and let her play around me. I also put up the gate and sit on the outside so she would learn to play by herself. Then I would scoot inches away so she could still see me but I would be get further from her.

What we do for these furbabies!!


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

No wonder people think we're nuts huh?


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

here is an article for teething. http://www.dogstardaily.com/destructive-chewing You'll make it , just take it one day at a time.


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Diane and Jen~~everything sounds very typical that you are experiencing: your mixed feelings and the puppies' behaviors. It honestly does get much much better after the first month. And when they are 2 you look at them and say, where's my little baby puppy. . . .and you get another one!!!! Hang in there.


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Diane, I was re-reading this, and I think your mom's advice is right-on (of course it is!!
;-) ) Violet is a dog. YOU need to take charge, to the best of your ability given her age and needs. There are times during the day when you should actually FORGET about her entirely, once her basic needs are met, and do your work, (and SHOWER; and go GROCERY SHOP) and let her entertain herself, chew on something, take a nap, etc. OR soon you'll have a little tyrant on your hands. LET her be BORED sometimes. That is OK. She will soon learn to be alone and be just fine. You are not her entertainment committee. Put her in the ex-pen with a chew toy and turn on the TV for her. . .


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## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Diane (and Jen), everyone has given such excellent advice. The first few weeks of getting a new puppy is so incredibly difficult and similar to having a newborn. They require such constant attention and it's impossible to get anything done. I also went through the stage of wondering why I ever got a puppy. You will settle into a routine as she grows older, and things will get back to normal. I agree with Amy, as you don't want to give her non-stop attention, or she won't learn to function happily without you. That is one huge mistake I made, and I'm sure it made Marble's separation anxiety worse. Good luck to both of you with new pups! Hang in there!!!
Gina


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Gina is so right. It is exactly like having a newborn. And babies/children also become little tyrants quickly if they are doted on too much. You need to have clear boundaries. 
You are the boss. Repeat that mantra. Not a four pound puppy. It changes the whole dynamic to think like that. . .and in the end, you'll have a happier, more secure, better behaved dog. . .


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## BeverlyA (Oct 29, 2006)

You are being a fabulous mommy!
and my fellow Forum members...as usual you are packed with wonderful ideas! I was just going to recommend getting a second one to keep her company and to use as her own personal chew toy! 
MHS lives!

Beverly


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Don't you DARE give up! The first month or so is time consuming and exhausting! Your training will pay off in a beautiful trained pup!

Post your problems here or VENT all you want! That is what we are here for!


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