# Whining



## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

I apologize for the book I'm about to write, but I think if anyone can help, it's all of you. 

Marble has recently begun to whine a lot. Before I could leave, and he would let a few whimpers and then wait by the door. If either of my kids were with him, he would go off with them. He would jump at every noise, thinking it may be me returning, but he would be quiet. The last month or so, he whines continuously when I leave. He also "frantically" looks around the house for me. He did this even when my son stayed with him the other day. My husband works at home, and he cannot concentrate with the whining, and he is really upset about this. I have been trying barely leave the house or take him with me when I can, but I know this is not a permanent solution. 

I'd also like to mention that he sleeps in his crate in my daughter's room at night. He is now whining until she gets into bed (she usually puts him in his crate, brushes her teeth and feeds the rabbits before she settles into bed). He never used to do this. He also whines a little when he's waiting for his food, but he knows it's coming. I just can't figure out why things are suddenly getting worse. 

I have had a behaviorist/trainer come to the house several times. She told me to ignore him more. It is difficult, though, because I am the one who is mostly here at all the times he needs something. (and of course it's difficult not to hug him constantly because he's so soft and sweet). I love this little guy so much, and I also feel so bad because this situation has really stressed out my family, especially my DH. I just don't know what to do. 
Gina


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## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

I am not an expert on this subject, but I wanted to offer a couple ideas. Gina, it sounds as though the whining has increased because it sometimes gets him the attention he wants. I would try not to respond to him when he is whining. I would also make sure that Marble is getting enough exercise. I would consider letting whoever stays home with Marble to take him for a long walk right after you leave. If you are going to leave him totally alone, I would walk him before you leave. 

Good luck to you and keep us posted.


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

do you do the thing where you kind of ignore him before you leave (meaning you do not make a big deal of it).
And then upon your return, no big reunion either.

This is all to make him confident that you are confident that he is in good hands at your departure.


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## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Cheryl, I will try having my son take him for a walk next time I leave and see if that helps. From what DH says, he looks frantically around the house when I leave and then whines at the door. I hope the walk helps. I hadn't thought of that before.

I can't figure out what attention or reinforcement, etc. he's getting by whining when I leave. Last time, my DH put him in the bathroom or bedroom upstairs and shut the door. I would think Marble would rather quiet down and wait by the front door than get put in a closed room. I just don't understand. I also can't figure out what he's getting out of whining with my daughter. Is it better for her to completely ignore his whining or should she say "No" as she has been?

I will definitely try ignoring him when I leave and come home. When I come home, he's over excited, he leaks urine, barks like crazy and jumps, jumps, jumps. So he definitely could use a calmer exit/entrance routine. 

Thanks for your help!


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## mintchip (Apr 19, 2007)

Just a thought try a baby gate rather than completely shutting the door.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

It sounds like you are giving him way too much attention. I agree that you need to completely ignore him especially when you leave the house/come home. When leaving the house, ignore him for 20 minutes before you leave. Use a key word to mean that you will be coming back. When you come back, completely ignore him until he calms down. This can take 15-20 minutes, but wait it out. Once he is CALM and sitting/laying down, give him love and attention. I know it seems like you're being mean to him, but in reality you are helping him become a more secure and happier dog. The anxiety and stress he suffers when you leave him (and you can't be around him ALL the time) are much much worse than ignoring him when he's excited and/or whining to teach him to be more independent. Make sure the kids follow this as well.

And when he whines, don't even say no, just ignore him. Depending on what he's whining for you can do different things. If he's whining for attention, ignore him until he stops. Wait at least 30 seconds after he has stopped and give him attention then. This teaches him that whining does NOT get him attention and being quiet does. If he's whining for food, stop making his food. Walk away from the kitchen (or wherever you make it) for as long as it takes him to stop whining. 30 seconds after he stops, go back and resume. If he whines again, repeat. He will get it eventually.

Good luck!


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Good Advice! Dexter also too excited to see me come home. I tried ignoring him, but failed. I will be walking by him until he calms down from now on. 

I have to let my dh know what I am doing, so he can do the same thing. 

I also will be working on Separation Anxiety this week.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

Linda, I hope you have read done some research on Separation Anxiety on this forum. There are great threads with lots of good advice on this. This is a post I wrote more than a year ago and have re-posted many times, but people find it helpful and I usually refer to it every 5 months or so. 

The list is for every dog and the second part is specifically geared towards one dog, but I still think it's good advice for anyone. Also, just wanted to let you know that Kubrick had HORRIBLE separation anxiety and he is great at staying alone now! I stopped leaving him in the expen when he was around 6-7 months or so, but I do think the enclosed area was very important to control his SA.



> Here's a list of things that worked really well for me:
> 
> 1. Before you leave, ignore your puppy for 20 minutes. That means no eye contact and no touching. This shows him that he can be apart from you while you're home and be happy. It might be hard at first because he might beg for attention. He will stop doing this eventually, though.
> 
> ...


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

I think Lina is right on target, especially with the crate. It is their den, they are safe in there, and it is the best place for them.


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## luv3havs (Jul 27, 2007)

Good Advice from Lina.

I have just created a whining problem with Cali.
A couple of nights ago, she whined in the crate around 3 am. Chico was restless as he had to go pee, and that woke her up.
Thinking she had to go Pee, I took her outside and she didn't need togo. 
When we came back into the room, I let her get on the bed. ( We usually do this at @ 7 in the am, when we wake up.)

So now, for the past 2 nights, she wakes up around 3-4 am and whines and I sleepily get up and let her in the bed.

Tonight, I'll have to bite the bullet and listen to her whine. (sob, sob)
I'm going to make sure she has no water after 7 and goes out for her last pee at 11:00 and then just grit my teeth and listen. I'll try the fingers in the crate and sshh, etc.
Meanwhile, DH sleeps through it all. 

Can't believe how quickly they can get what they want from us.:frusty:


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## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Ok, I will definately try ignoring him when he whines rather than saying no. Also, that was very helpful with explaining how I should walk away while I'm making his food if he whines. That's been a big problem lately. Lina, after hearing about Kubrick's seperation anxiety, you have given me so much hope (you are a lifesaver). Marble is two, and I keep thinking he should be getting better, not worse. I don't know, maybe he got used to me being home a little more recently and that is why he kind of regressed. Your post on seperation anxiety explained everything so well, and maybe I need to take a step back and start over as if he were a puppy. I'm also wondering if I should move his large crate (it''s about 48 by 28 and has bed, water, toys) by the door. He seems to wait for me by the door, so maybe he would feel better if he could see it. At home, if I happen to go in a room and shut the door, he always waits right outside that door. Thank you for the great advice!!!! Linda, I wish you all the luck with Dexter! And Nan, I feel for you with the whining at night. I remember that. Maybe earplugs will help a little.
Gina


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

luv2havs said:


> Good Advice from Lina.
> 
> I have just created a whining problem with Cali.
> A couple of nights ago, she whined in the crate around 3 am. Chico was restless as he had to go pee, and that woke her up.
> ...


LOL! Ain't that the truth! It'll be no fun breaking that habit, they love being in the bed with us, heck..I'd whine too!

I've dealt with alot of Separation Anxiety, and I still do. I think it would be easier if I left more, but I take her to work w/ me and there are errands I can take her along, so its hard! She will also sit at the door and whine even with other people here, sometimes, not all the time like she used to.

But her new gig, is when she sees me getting ready to go somewhere (lots of little signals she picks up on, its amazing!) she'll start whining to GO, because of the few times I've caved in and picked her up and took her along with me.

So, whatever you do, don't cave into the whining! It makes it harder to break the habit(s) But taking them on a walk or playing with them before you go and making them tired is the best solution I've found. I'll throw the ball and let her chase it and she'll wear herself out and sleep at the door. lol


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## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Marble does the same thing as Gucci. He knows when we're leaving and he follows us, paces and whines. He also whines for me if others are here. I, like you, have taken him on so many errands. I take him with me for all the drop-offs and pick-ups for my kids each day. He never whines then (seems he knows the schedule), but he does whine before we leave if we're going somewhere that breaks the pattern. They are really good at getting what they want, aren't they Are you doing anything to break Gucci of the whining? Let me know if you find something that works! I'm going to try all the great tips from everyone.
Gina


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

Gina, if Marble is whining when you you're getting ready to leave the house, I would also tell you to start tricking him. Go through your getting ready to leave routine - pick up your keys, put on a jacket, etc. - but then don't leave. Do this 2-3 times a day to desensitize him to you leaving. Pretty soon, he won't care that you're getting ready to walk out the door. Though of course still practice the things I mentioned above for when you DO leave! I hope this helps!


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

I have one that tends to whine (but does not have separation anxiety). It is just excessive communication. We are not fond of whining, so we all make sure that no extra attention is given when the whining starts. If whining starts for a treat, for going out the door, for breakfast/dinner, I immediately change the routine and ignore the dog. It is amazing how fast it stops. 

Carolina, I really like your desensitizing suggestion as well as the encouragement to crate for a dog with separation anxiety. Confinement is key with a dog that gets too worked up.


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

This is all wonderful advice from Lina, that is good for all of us to remember. It applies to so many situations.

Along the lines of techniques that ignore undesirable behaviors, I learned from advice Leslie gave me to ignore Heath's crazy barking and jumping and crying when he wants out of the ex-pen. Esp. when I've just come in the door. Now he knows he must sit and be completely quiet before he's released from jail. So this ignoring does work. . . best of luck with Marble!


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Wonderful advice and information on Separation Anxiety! Dexter is getting better around the house, but I have not left the house with Dexter being alone. 

I will be exercising Dexter a bunch before I try the leaving and coming right back into the house and see how it goes. 

I am also trying Dexter in his kitchen fenced in area, where anxiety sets in also. So, I am trying to fence Dexter off and he still sees me with gate closed. He is doing better compared to the 9 week period, he is 12 weeks now. 

I have a lot of training to do. Little steps at a time to keep Dexter a happy puppy.


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## RikiDaisyDixie (Apr 15, 2008)

*Lina, you are going to make a great parent*

Lina, now that you have it down for dogs, I can see that you will be a great parent. There is a book that at first I thought was a joke. It is called the dog trainer's guide to parenting. The dog trainer noticed that when he was called out to houses where dogs were having big problems, so did their kids!

Usually the parents would be too good at giving in, and the kids too good at getting what they want. He noticed that a lot of the same things that work for dogs also work well for kids. So there you have a head start.

I only wish I had trained my dogs first, if I had been as clear and direct with Alana as I had been with Riki...well that is a whole other story.

I think it was the fear that havanese are hard to house train and that Riki was a boy that I was really clear from the moment he came home about boundaries and guidelines. Ah hindsight.


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## RikiDaisyDixie (Apr 15, 2008)

*Havanese talking*

Some havanese tend to "growl" or whine when they talk to you. They are a very vocal breed and some are more so than others as Kimberly has stated.

Daisy makes this funny sound when she is communicating with me, not really a growl or a whine, but definitely her own. She often sneezes after she does it!


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

Linda, I think the reason dog training came a little naturally for me is due to all the babysitting I did for my cousins! I was always the "mean one" that didn't let them have everything, but you can bet that not only did they adore me, they behaved like angels around me and never around their mom, LOL!


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## RikiDaisyDixie (Apr 15, 2008)

*Can I send Alana to you for the summer!*

Just kidding! But I bet you could shape her up quick!


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## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Thank you, Lina! I started the "pretend leaving routine" tonight. Kimberly and Amy, hearing all of your examples on whining has really helped. I need to be hit over the head 100 times before I get it, so everyone's experiences have helped tremendously. I sometimes leave him in an expen when I leave, and he goes crazy upon our return, so I will remember your advice, Amy, and leave
him in until he stops (unfortunately, I'll have a puddle to clean up, because he leaks when we come home). Linda's right, you will make a great mom, Lina. I have to say that this little furball has been much more difficult than any of my kids, so you will ace that! Thanks for all the help!
Gina


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

marb42 said:


> I sometimes leave him in an expen when I leave, and he goes crazy upon our return, so I will remember your advice, Amy, and leave him in until he stops (unfortunately, I'll have a puddle to clean up, because he leaks when we come home)


Gina, with your consistency and his maturity (muscle control), those "puddles" will disappear in time. If you can get through this rough stage, you'll have a good, solid foundation together. (Be sure to clean up his urination with an enzymatic cleaner like Nature's Miracle or Simple Solution so he doesn't urinate there on purpose.)


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## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Thanks, Kimberly! He seems to do it when he's overly excited or afraid. He's two now??? Strange little man....
Gina


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