# Gryff Update



## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

We are meeting with the behaviorist today, but I don't think it's really necessary. You were all right, he needed more time to become part of the family. He is almost always under our feet these days.

However, he still growls occasionally at Alec. I think this is more Alec's problem than it is Gryff's. I have seen Alec do things with Gryff that the dog simply doesn't like - for instance, he will pat Gryff on the head. To me, it looks more like being hit on the top of his head. While we were waiting for the bus today, Gryff and I were sitting on the driveway and Alec was riding his scooter. He decided to see how close he could come to Gryff's tail. He didn't run him over or anything, but needless to say Gryff didn't like it and I had to have words with Alec. He's only 7, but he should know better. I can understand why Gryff growls at him.

Hopefully the behaviorist will have some suggestions for Alec on doing things with Gryff that will be beneficial to both of them.

I will let you all know.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

ivyagogo said:


> We are meeting with the behaviorist today, but I don't think it's really necessary. You were all right, he needed more time to become part of the family. He is almost always under our feet these days.
> 
> However, he still growls occasionally at Alec. I think this is more Alec's problem than it is Gryff's. I have seen Alec do things with Gryff that the dog simply doesn't like - for instance, he will pat Gryff on the head. To me, it looks more like being hit on the top of his head. While we were waiting for the bus today, Gryff and I were sitting on the driveway and Alec was riding his scooter. He decided to see how close he could come to Gryff's tail. He didn't run him over or anything, but needless to say Gryff didn't like it and I had to have words with Alec. He's only 7, but he should know better. I can understand why Gryff growls at him.
> 
> ...


You have the PERFECT opportunity to get through to Alec, if *some* of the problem is coming from him, I have twins that are 8 and they posed the most challenges for me w/ Gucci, because they would be a little "rough", or how do I explain it........treat her more like a stuffed animal than a living, breathing dog.

I really had to talk to them ALOT about boundries, and helping me *teach* Gucci to be passive/submissive. It is hard for a dog to submit, when they are on the defensive, even if it is with a child.

And the thing about kids.......sometimes, they don't listen to their PARENTS, but they will listen to Joe Blow down the street, OR the behaviorist! LOL, So, If I were you, I would have a talk w/ the behaviorist in private and have them mention proper handling techniques to Alec, maybe he will be more receptive if he is hearing it from other people besides you and your husband. Sometimes kids are funny like that.

Gucci has gotten SMART. Before, when the twins would do something she didnt' like, she would grumble......which would get HER in trouble, but NOW..she will whimper, which gets THEM in trouble.

Man, am I being played. ound:

She grumbles from time to time, mostly to express her dissatifaction with something, and I don't perceive it as aggressive, just personality. But I won't tolerate her doing it to the kids, or us. But if she is grumbling at a situation, like having to go pee in the rain.......I usually just smile. lol BEcause that is generally how I feel about having to go out there with her.

Kara


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## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

Ivy, that sweet little face wouldn't tease the dog, would he? :biggrin1: It will probably be good for Alec to hear what the behaviorist has to say, as well. They are both so cute and it's probably growing pains for both of them.


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

It also could be jealolusy thing. Is Alec your only child? Gryff has come into his house and is getting an awful lot of Moms attention. He may be doing these things simply to get YOUR attention. My kids were, and I think still are a little jealous and they are 20 & 17!!!!


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

I don't understand the growling either. My freddie adores me, but often growls at me! He would never bite anyone or me though.


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## DAJsMom (Oct 27, 2006)

When we got Dusty, she was seven months and our son was five. He became Dusty's favorite playmate, but she definitely did not trust him. He would sneak up on her and try to grab her (he really wanted to hold her like his sisters were) and she perfected a funny boy-avoidance jump. She only occasionally resorted to threatening him, which we did not allow, even if she had good reason! We've had Dusty about 10 months now, and I have to say her relationship with my son has improved tremendously. He's learned, through lots of instruction on our part, how to treat Dusty nicely, and she's learned he's not so bad. He picks her up all the time now, and the other day I got a very charming picture of the two of them cuddling on the couch (not on the computer yet, sorry!). Dusty doesn't love the attention he offers quite as much as he loves to give it, but she is a good sport about it now! They are still favorite playmates for games of fetch and chase and tug-of-war as well. 

Be patient and work with son and puppy. I bet it will all work out!


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

The behaviorist just left and it was a real eye opener. Basically, Gryff isn't my dog now for at least a week. I can't feed him, take him out, play with him, have him lay down in my office or anything. If he wants or needs something he will have to get it from Alec or Chuck. Period. 

Anything Gryff gets, he will have to sit and make eye contact first. Once Alec gets home from school, he is the boss. He learned the proper way to approach Gryff (from under his chin) until Gryff gets more used to him and Alec has Gryff's respect. If Gryff is laying down or sleeping, Alec will need to get his attention before he approaches him. For a week, Gryff will get a treat everytime he does something for Alec.

This behaviorist has a real abrasive personality. She is very loud and has no problem telling kids to listen and stop doing this or that. Alec responded to her like she was a drill sergent...I'm sure dogs do too!

I will keep you posted. I will have to find out from the rest of my family how it's going since I am now dog-free  I know it's for the best. Actually, I've been telling Chuck and Alec that I need to step back and have them take over, but it just hasn't worked out that way. Now I really need to because I'm afraid of the behaviorist too! We have obedience class with her next month and she'll know if I've backed off or not.

Oh yeah, she said if Gryff growls at Alec, he needs to simply tell him no and put him into a time out in a "safe room". Actually, she doesn't use the word no. She makes a loud ta-ta type of noise. She also said Alec should feed him in the morning and when he gets home from school at 4:00. She recommends an early dinner to better regulate him.

Whew, this isn't going to be easy for me.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Great!

It sounds promising! 

I bit more intense than what I did, lol.....But I bet you get quicker results. I also think your son is more likely to do what the "drill sergeant" says. ound: 

I don't think I could give up my Alpha Queen spot for a whole week, gosh..I wouldn't know what to do with myself??!!

You'll have to let us know how it goes.

I also use a special *sound* for training. I think "NO" is a sound that is too common in our daily language talking to each other, we say, no, know, snow, etc. alot, so for us, the unique sound works WONDERS. Its like my lil' bark to her. It sounds sort of like "AYP", just any quick/sharp confident sound will work.

Once Gryff builds trust, than it should be a cakewalk!

I also had to teach the little ones to pet under the jaw, our trainer also helped out alot there.

Kara


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## DAJsMom (Oct 27, 2006)

wow! It sounds like you got some good advice. I think I'll talk to my son about getting the sleeping dog's attention before approaching. I hadn't thought of putting it that way.


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Kara, you ought to work for the United Nations, he he. You are the consummate diplomat balancing the needs/behavior of kids, dogs, etc etc. How do you do it all?!


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Ivy, the behaviorist sounds like she knows what she's doing. Very clear-headed. Keep us posted on how it all goes down.


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

It's already tough. I haven't made eye contact with Gryff for an hour!

Oh, one other thing. We asked about Gryff sleeping on our bed and she didn't have any problem with it. She did say that she would rather Gryff slept on Alec's bed. I'll continue with what I've been doing. Gryff will get on Alec's bed when he goes to sleep until Gryff decides to jump off and come into our room. Alec sleeps like a tornado. Everytime my husband goes out of town Alec sleeps with me (we watch a movie or something until he falls asleep). He kicks, flips around, pulls covers, it's unreal. I check on him during the night since I never sleep until morning and he's usually sideways or sometimes completely upside down and the covers are always on the floor or he's completely tangled in them. I can't image Gryff would like to sleep with that !


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Amy R. said:


> Kara, you ought to work for the United Nations, he he. You are the consummate diplomat balancing the needs/behavior of kids, dogs, etc etc. How do you do it all?!


You should come to my house on a weekend when I have all seven kids here!ound: My doctor has offered me xanax, LOL....But, it would make me too tired.

I have to keep a strict schedule and keep them all busy....when boredom sets in OR hunger, that's when it gets crazy!

Kara


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

Dammit! As soon as I'm not in charge he pees and poops in the house. Grrrr!


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Yikes!

Well, I suppose you are the one that knows all of his *signals*...the guys are going to have to keep a closer watch. I can always tell when Gucci has to go because she'll tilt her head and look at me a certain way, and when she's hungry or sees me in the fridge, she will lick my leg for a treat. lol

Maybe you can write some tips/schedule down for them and make it easier to transition?

I....honestly...do not KNOW if I would be able to part with the reins on this house. It would burn to the ground.ound: 

Kara


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

This is so hard. I woke up at 6:00 and got Alec out of bed so he could take Gryff out and feed him. That was fine. Now Gryff is trying to velcro himself to me and I can't let him. I haven't even had eye contact with him since yesterday and it's killing me. He just came into my office and is on my floor. I either have to kick him out or I have to leave. I have to leave anyway, but I can't let him follow me. It will be better when my husband wakes up. Alec is having a hard time holding the reins.


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## Paige (Sep 12, 2006)

Thumperlove said:


> Yikes!
> I....honestly...do not KNOW if I would be able to part with the reins on this house. It would burn to the ground.ound:
> 
> Kara


Same here Kara, it would be very hard to give up control of any of my babies, I 'm having enough trouble letting my college girl be a almost grown up

I hope all your hard work pays off. Keep us posted.


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Not even looking at him just seems so severe!! How long is she expecting you to do this?


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Yes, that does seem hard!

How the heck are you supposed to catch him if he misbehaves any? lol, What if he sees that as "ignoring" him and acts up?

I'm a total control freak, I admit it. ound: I will hand over ONE reign, occasionally or delegate a task, but never both. lol

Kara


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

Well, I have to intervene somewhat. Like this morning, Alec went to the bus stop and he took Gryff out with him for a walk. I had to walk back with Gryff. It's not realistic for me not to participate at all, but basically anything Gryff needs or wants should come from Alec when he's home and Chuck when Alec is in school. Of course, if Gryff needs to go out while I'm the only one here, I will take him out. Gryff just needs to learn that he can go to Alec or Chuck for affection and care and not just me.

This is supposed to take a week. I think it will take a bit longer with Alec. Gryff is doing better with him, but I feel it is a way off before they are totally honky dory together.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

I can see why the behaviorist wants Alec and your husband to do everything, but I really don't think that's realistic at all. When I don't even look at Kubrick he will think that I am ignoring him (even with my fiance here) and he WILL start to act up and do things that he knows gets my negative attention, because he knows that I won't let him get away with it. He will even wag his tail if I yell at him when I was ignoring him when he really wanted my attention! I've learned a time out is the best way as that way I'm ignoring him but he's not wandering about the house doing random things.

Plus, I'm a control freak and I really don't think I would ever be able to give up that much control over Kubrick.


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

I'm not completely ignoring him. I simply can't do that. I will give him a stroke if I walk past him and I encourage him around Alec. However, I am really trying to let Chuck and Alec take control over the important things.

BTW, Kubrick is so cute. I love his tongue sticking out.


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## LuvMyHavanese (Apr 13, 2007)

I couldnt give up control either. Plus i dont think my husband is all that worried about being more 'alpha' with them. He is content with just being the playmate & dog petter.


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

I think it is going to be a tough week but I think more than you getting something out of it I hope hubby and Alec do! My husband has learned how much of a relationship he can build with the girls by just taking them for their walk and they quickly forget who mommy is if I stay home. 

Good luck and let us know how it goes!

Amanda


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

So I get down to the nitty gritty. Alec isn't really being all that nice to Gryff. I think he's jelous...in fact, I know he is. I just had a long talk with him and I hope he can adjust. Now in addition to feeling second rate to a puppy (which I explained is because a)Gryff is a puppy who needs our attention and b)I wouldn't have to spend so much time with Gryff if everybody helped out) but now he has all these Gryff chores to do. I guess it's tough being a kid.


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

awww Ivy. Sound like both your boys are going through a little withdrawal. hang tough-- it sounds like a good plan.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Aha!

Atleast now you know what you are dealing with. I can see where a child may feel a little jealous...or resent having to do Gryff related chores, but I think he will grow to love and appreciate Gryff the more he helps take care of him.

Kara


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

Kara, I think so too. We just had a long talk about it and I think he feels better. 

I like your new avatar. Gucci is too cute.


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## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

Ivy--Is there a way that you can reward Alec for managing his new responsibilites? With age comes responsibilites and priveledges. You would know which priveledges that you would want to give and what would motivate Alec, but I would consider letting him stay up 1/2 hour later on Friday night, letting a friend sleep over, going to a weekend matinee, etc. You could also consider a small allowance (or a raise) because of the extra responsibilites.

It has been a long time since mine were that young, but I believe this would have worked for mine.


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

Cheryl, those are really good ideas. Too bad he's so spoiled to begin with! But yes, I think we should talk about it.


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

A small success - Alec took Gryff for a walk tonight and did brilliantly. He was nice to Gryff while still being the boss. I think Gryff respected him accordingly. Alec was so elated that he is looking forward to the next walk.

I will keep you posted. Again, I can't thank all of you enough for your support.


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Ivy, I agree with Cheryl, I would bet that it is a jealously issue going on here and if Alec is rewarded for treating Gryff properly then he will feel good about himself. I would reward him when he does what he should with gryff it should be a win win situation!
Laurie


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