# need some help



## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

Hi, I'm writing in the hopes there might be some proven data about keeping a pair of dogs that have been together since pups living in the same home. Ive noticed on some of the rescue sites some dogs go as a pair. I'm trying to keep the sisters together and almost feel like I need to kid nap Maddie. I don't have the money to battle it in court so I would have to represent myself. She was originally a gift to me . So if anyone can help some how I would really appreciate it.
* My Sweet Maddie last Christmas*


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## Momo means Peach (Jun 7, 2011)

Oh dear. I'm sorry that you're going through this. I don't have any suggestions but will send good thoughts your way.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I'm so sorry you're still going through all this. I had hoped things might have gotten better. I wish I had a solution for you but if they have any attorney numbers out there for people who give free consultations, I'd try to get some legal advice. I've got fingers crossed that you find the answer that works for you and for the girls. 

Sending prayers in your direction.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Is there a free legal office around you? I"m pretty sure you can file petitions without an attorney, you should go to the courthouse and talk to someone, see if there is something you can do.

Sorry you are going through this 

Kara


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## andra (Aug 23, 2010)

I think it is time for you to contact a domestic violence social service agency; every state has them and they have many services attached to them, including legal services. These agencies are typically listed under local or state government listings. I would not hesitate to call. Here locally, our domestic violence program includes safe houses, job training, legal services, counseling etc.

Also, it is well documented in research that abusers will often use pets as a form of control--a way to keep the victim with the abuser or another way to hurt the victim (like in your case). The dog in question was a gift to you therefore it is yours; your perpetrator is trying to inflict emotional injury on you by threatening to take your dog.

Really, you need to call a domestic violence hotline or program. You need to come up with a safety plan for you and your dogs and you will need to most likely flee to a safe house. This is just IMHO but also I work in an adjunct agency that works closely with domestic violence agencies so I have some experience in this.

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/

If you cannot find your local agency, the above may be able to help you.

And it may be good for you to research, and print out, articles about abusers who use pets to control or hurt their victims; the research is out there and this is what is happening to you and you can back it up with the research studies.


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## Luciledodd (Sep 5, 2009)

Suzi I agree with Andra. Even small towns have agencies that will take your case and besides if the dog was a gift, it is yours. Course proving that is the issue. I would be out of there so fast, with my dogs and whatever I could carry. Let him bring suit against you. Probably when he finds out how much lawyers cost, he will forget about suing for the dog.


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## DonnaC (Jul 31, 2011)

Suzi, I am a lawyer. If the puppy was a gift, she is yours. That's the law. 

But, I sense your concerns about getting into a big mess about this, especially when that mess can be expensive. The best thing to do is talk to him (if that's possible) and try to reach an agreement. Possibilities: buy him out of half the puppy, help him find another puppy, or set up visitation (he'll quit visiting after a while). If there are concerns about telling him you're leaving, then you need to scoop up the puppies and get out when you safely can. It's much harder to get custody of something that you don't have -- so, you need to assert custody by taking them. Private message me, if you want.


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

That is all good advice. I like the idea of safe house and job training. My brother in law is a retired attorney so I do have free legal advice and he says the same about her being a gift to me. I was hoping to get some writen statements about havanese being companion dogs and how it would be better if they stay together. This whole mess has left me a bit blue although I'm trying hard to keep my head up and move forward. I am learning what not to pick next time Its fun to watch this video because Zoey still is the toy hog! 
First week together


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

andra said:


> I think it is time for you to contact a domestic violence social service agency; every state has them and they have many services attached to them, including legal services. These agencies are typically listed under local or state government listings. I would not hesitate to call. Here locally, our domestic violence program includes safe houses, job training, legal services, counseling etc.
> 
> Also, it is well documented in research that abusers will often use pets as a form of control--a way to keep the victim with the abuser or another way to hurt the victim (like in your case). The dog in question was a gift to you therefore it is yours; your perpetrator is trying to inflict emotional injury on you by threatening to take your dog.
> 
> ...


 Good idea thanks!


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## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

Suzi said:


> Hi, I'm writing in the hopes there might be some proven data about keeping a pair of dogs that have been together since pups living in the same home. Ive noticed on some of the rescue sites some dogs go as a pair. I'm trying to keep the sisters together and almost feel like I need to kid nap Maddie. I don't have the money to battle it in court so I would have to represent myself. She was originally a gift to me . So if anyone can help some how I would really appreciate it.
> * My Sweet Maddie last Christmas*


This sounds like a terrible thing to go through  My heart really goes out to you. I agree, if the dog leaves your possession then it's a lot harder to fight. I hope this all works out for you and your baby.


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

JASHavanese said:


> This sounds like a terrible thing to go through  My heart really goes out to you. I agree, if the dog leaves your possession then it's a lot harder to fight. I hope this all works out for you and your baby.


 Thank you I'll have to have everything all planed out for the big escape.


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## sashamom (Jan 12, 2009)

Suzi said:


> Thank you I'll have to have everything all planed out for the big escape.


Suzi: I am in the Renton area of Washington. South of Seattle. My brother lives in Newberg the point of all this info is that if you need a foster situation for one of your babies to protect them let me know via private email. I will try to help if I am able to do so. Just a bit of info about me. I work every day, but Sasha goes to work with me, (your hav would go with us), the drive is 32 miles one way so if your little one gets car sick that might be a problem. Just let me know if you need help. I am a paralegal so and have worked with DSHS for child abuse so am not nervous about getting involved. L


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## Lizzie'sMom (Oct 13, 2010)

Linda, that is so nice of you to offer that for Suzi. I certainly hope that she can work this situation out.


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## whimsy (Apr 3, 2010)

good luck with everything Suzi and please keep us posted!!


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## wynne (Apr 30, 2011)

all best of luck!!!! Been there with my ex not easy to go thru, but you will come out stronger. Try some of the local colleges that offer law degrees. You might be able to get some advice from the profs. Some are retired judges. Stay safe and truly contact womens shelters or even a trust friend so you can stay together. Keep us posted.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

Suzi, I will be praying for you for the situation to work out peacefully. Please do something about it before it's too late. Who knows what he has up "his" sleeve!


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## Jplatthy (Jan 16, 2011)

Suzi-I would just take her and leave...he would have to prove that she was not a gift as much as you would have to prove that she was....are there any family members who know she was a gift? Any posts on here when you got her that she was a gift? Anything like that? He's probably just trying to use her to get you to stay.....good luck and keep us posted!


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

sashamom said:


> Suzi: I am in the Renton area of Washington. South of Seattle. My brother lives in Newberg the point of all this info is that if you need a foster situation for one of your babies to protect them let me know via private email. I will try to help if I am able to do so. Just a bit of info about me. I work every day, but Sasha goes to work with me, (your hav would go with us), the drive is 32 miles one way so if your little one gets car sick that might be a problem. Just let me know if you need help. I am a paralegal so and have worked with DSHS for child abuse so am not nervous about getting involved. L


 That is a nice offer Linda. I don't feel unsafe I just get a bunch of verbal abuse. And he doesn't think it is. Very controlling and a perfectionist. Can you pm me with your phone number or you can give me your e mail address. I don't think it will have to come to that. And I do have my havanese club with a bunch of really nice folks that I could reach out to. I need to just not let his threats get to me and put my foot forward.
You guys are so nice to be helping me. I feel so much more confident about just taking the sisters and leaving Just need a place to go I'm crossing my fingers my sisters bid on the house goes threw. Other wise I will look into the other housing mentioned here. I'll find out if that type of place would let me bring Maddie and Zoey.


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## sashamom (Jan 12, 2009)

I would be happy to do a PM if I could remember how. OK guys instructions please. LOL


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## andra (Aug 23, 2010)

To PM somebody, just click on their user name under their avatar and choose from the drop down menu--send a personal message.

Suzi--if you visit www.americanhumane.org (click on the Human-animal bond tab) for a list of domestic and family violence shelters that allow pets. If you cannot find a domestic violence shelter in your area that allows on site housing of pets, you can contact the PAWS (pets and women's shelter) hotline at 703-836-7387. One of the biggest domestic violence shelters for women is in Nevada and it is called The Shade Tree Women's Center in North Las Vegas Nevada. The animal part of the shelter is called Noah's Animal House.

http://www.americanhumane.org/search.jsp?query=domestic+violence+shelters+&x=5&y=12

The above is just for FYI--the first thing is to call the national domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233.


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

Hi you just push on my picture and the send a message pops up Or you can email me at [email protected]


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

sashamom said:


> I would be happy to do a PM if I could remember how. OK guys instructions please. LOL


 PS I put the word out with our local Havanese rescue person about you wanting another Havanese. She is very involved with rescue. She said oregon has only had 4 in need ever. Their were some at the humane society at one time but they wouldn't let her take them into the Havanese rescue. We had a meeting a few weeks ago about volunteering.One of the things that needs to be done is to educate shelters as to what a Havanese looks like. So I figure that is something we could all help with.


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