# Separation Anxiety?



## LaylaLove (Jun 1, 2014)

Hi all,

Since I'm a new owner to the havanese breed I've been doing some reading about the tendencies to develop separation anxiety from their human. My boyfriend and I have had Layla for one week and one day now and she is doing unbelievably well. We had some slow starts with potty training, but now she hasn't had an accident in 2 days and I have noticed that she will sniff by the door and sit down when she needs to go! I couldn't be more happy with the temperament and personality of Layla 

Would anybody happen to have any info. about separation anxiety? I've noticed that when I walk into even the next room at home she will jump on the couch and watch me intently. Even if my boyfriend is in the room, she doesn't seem to really care, she just wants me to come back. I would like for her to really connect with my boyfriend the way she does with me. Is this a regular tendency for havanese to connect with one owner more? If not, are there ways to help grow their bond so if I'm gone she is not anxious with my boyfriend? He has been doing most of the walking lately because I really want them to grow a bond, but it hasn't been making much of a difference...any advice would be great!


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## Cody010414 (Mar 23, 2014)

How about having your boyfriend feed Layla and comb her? Also, ask your boyfriend to help on her basic training like Sit, Down, Come here, Leave it. My husband and I are taking a Puppy Kindergarten class with Cody and that seems to be helping to create a bond for both of us with Cody. For example, for Come here, you stand on one end of the yard and have your boyfriend stand at the other end of the yard. Take turns calling Come here! to Layla and give her a treat when she gets to you. Then have your boyfriend call her to him and he should also give her a treat when she runs to him. Be sure and ask her to sit and then do a collar grab when she comes to you.
Here is Cody running between us.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

LaylaLove said:


> Hi all,
> 
> Since I'm a new owner to the havanese breed I've been doing some reading about the tendencies to develop separation anxiety from their human. My boyfriend and I have had Layla for one week and one day now and she is doing unbelievably well. We had some slow starts with potty training, but now she hasn't had an accident in 2 days and I have noticed that she will sniff by the door and sit down when she needs to go! I couldn't be more happy with the temperament and personality of Layla
> 
> Would anybody happen to have any info. about separation anxiety? I've noticed that when I walk into even the next room at home she will jump on the couch and watch me intently. Even if my boyfriend is in the room, she doesn't seem to really care, she just wants me to come back. I would like for her to really connect with my boyfriend the way she does with me. Is this a regular tendency for havanese to connect with one owner more? If not, are there ways to help grow their bond so if I'm gone she is not anxious with my boyfriend? He has been doing most of the walking lately because I really want them to grow a bond, but it hasn't been making much of a difference...any advice would be great!


I actually think that separation anxiety in well bred, properly raise Havanese is WAY over-stated. Sure, it's possible to create separation anxiety in dogs of many breeds, just as it is in children. But if you handle them right from the beginning, it really shouldn't be a problem. Make sure that you start short separations early. Some of that can be leaving them in their pen (or crate) with a kong or other long-lasting chew treat and just leaving the room for a few minutes at a time.

But the fact of the matter is, they aren't dumb. They know you're still in the house. At 5, Kodi will STILL fuss if I go in the bathroom and shut the door. If I'm home, he wants to be with me. But he's FINE when we leave the house. He just goes in his crate (at this age, the door is open, he doesn't have to be in there) and sleeps pretty much until we return. We started with very short separations when he had been with us for a week or two. I mean, 5 minutes for me to run to the end of the driveway to get the mail. (again, he was in his pen with a chew treat) Then 10 minutes while I ran to the pharmacy, then 20 minutes when I went out to get milk, up to the point where we could leave him without trouble for a few hours. Just like children, they need to learn that you WILL always come back. And that just comes with experience.

Attaching more strongly to one member of the family than another is also not a "breed thing." (at least not with this breed&#8230; some protection breeds attach VERY strongly to one person) I think it's completely normal for a puppy to attach first to the person who is spending the most time with them, taking care of them and training them. I agree that having your BF take over some of this will help. But even if he doesn't (my husband didn't do much of the puppy rearing!) as long as he plays with the puppy regularly, they will develop a bond. Kodi and my husband have a much different relationship than Kodi and I do. And that was true of our kids growing up too. Mom s the one you go to if you're hungry, have a scraped knee or just want a hug. But DAD!&#8230; DAD means FUN! and WILDNESS! and FUN!!! To this day, Kodi turns himself inside out with joy when my husband gets home. They howl together and then play crazily for a few minutes. Kodi NEVER acts this way with me, and quite frankly, I wouldn't want him to! It's their relationship and it's different. But he still loves both of us, and is happy staying with either one when the other is out. As long as you BF continues to make overtures to the puppy, and WANTS to be friends with him, the relationship will develop. It's natural for small babies to "need mom (or the #1 care giver, even if that's a guy! ) more".


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

With separation anxiety , puppies are more susceptable when there is a drastic change in attention. Initially many people make the mistake of constantly fussing with and paying attention to the new arrival. And this can go on for weeks. Then suddenly they are forced to be separated in an abrupt manner. It is essential to leave them alone for brief and frequent times at this early age. Leave them after a good workout ,walk and tire them out. Leave them with a yummy kong. But slowly add the time duration. 
S.A. is workable . The treatment depends on how severe it is. True S. A. is generally deemed to be when they have panic attacks , elimination , chewing on furniture etc, and constant vocalization. If the dog has these sort of episodes, it might be best to get a professional in. This is when a formal program of desensitizaion is done. At this point most dogs become stressed well before you leave. They have learned all the signs that indicate that you are about to leave. They know you are leaving before you know you're leaving, LOL. The dog will start to display certain anxious signs ,eg, panting, pacing, drooling or whining. And here is where a professional will slowly desensitize the dog to these triggers. He will repeat these trigger events by making the dog comfortable by not taking the next step in the departure routine. Gradually the dog is taken one step further in departure process . Eventually real departures are incorporated. It's a slow process but it is quite often succesful. 
Some dogs are just more anxious than others. Separation anxiety is quite often brought on by our constant attention to them. We have bred dogs to be social and this has come along with the ride. It is sad when we leave, Molly's face tell's the whole story. She just sits at the top of the steps well before we actually leave. She knows. Dogs are watching us all the time. It's hard not to suck them up.
here's a good article on it http://pawsitivedawgs.wordpress.com/2010/12/27/alonetraining/


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

davetgabby said:


> It is sad when we leave, Molly's face tell's the whole story. She just sits at the top of the steps well before we actually leave. She knows.


Ha! I think she's playing you! 

Fortunately, Kodi is ONLY a drama king about getting his nails done, not about us leaving.  Kodi runs into his crate in my office, THRILLED that he's going to get a piece of chicken jerky (saved for only when we leave). The door of his crate stays open, but he is gated in the office. He has made it VERY clear that he feels safer and more settled in a smaller space when we aren't home. When he was younger, it was in his ex-pen, and now that I can trust him not to chew things, it's my office. He's always pleased to see us when we get home, but we make our return very low key too (at least I do&#8230; DH isn't always as consistent!  ) I ALWAYS bringing in any packages and put away my coat before saying ANYTHING to him. Then it's a quick hug and greeting and we go back about our day. I just try to make both coming and going as much a non-event as possible.

But, as you said, we worked on it slowly and consistently and regularly for a LONG time when he was a baby, building up the time, little by little.


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## LaylaLove (Jun 1, 2014)

Interesting...I'm glad to know this "getting used to dad" thing is only temporary. We've been working on going out to potty together because my boyfriend is convinced she won't go for him because she only wants to please me. I tell him that it took me 5 days to get anywhere with her on the street because all she wanted to do was go back home, but now she goes for me every time we're outside! I know it's just a time thing...and I can see that Layla loves him in her own way even now! 

PS-She's growing too fast already!


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## Colbie (Feb 9, 2013)

I agree with what Karen said about them forming different relationship with different members of the family. Given the opportunity Colbie always will follow me but she is content if I'm not there to be with my wife or my daughter. She will wait outside the bathroom if I'm using it until I exit even if there are others at home.
She isn't a lap dog for me or my wife and will constantly squirm to get down but if my daughter picks her up and holds her she makes no effort to get down.

They are loving dogs and there is definitely room in their hearts for more then one person.


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## SJ1998 (Feb 4, 2013)

My hav spends more time with my husband and he is pretty attached to him. I am more snuggly versus playing but we all get along great. We dont have problems with SA and that is largely due to !!!!DOGGIE CHICKEN!!!!! which is the big announcement that occurs anytime we leave. My guy, the hav I mean, runs into the crate waiting for it. It definitely helps for any behavior to find what they really love to eat.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Following you from room to room isn't necessarily an indication they will have separation anxiety. I think havanese just think it is their 'job' to be with you and watch over you. Gucci is the same way with me (most of the time) even in the middle of the night, she will follow me out of her comfortable warm bed if I go to get a drink of water downstairs  I think its really sweet and generally, they will follow around the main caretaker. She follows me, not my husband, because I am the one that does most of the feeding and bathing and she's with me more of the time.

She does have separation anxiety, though..if I leave, she will sit at the front door and watch for my car to come back..sometimes for hours, but she has gotten better as she 's gotten older, but there were times she would have a diarrhea blowout if I was gone for more than an hour. her anxiety goes straight to her stomach unfortunately.

Kara


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## LaylaLove (Jun 1, 2014)

Thanks, all! 

We've had a breakthrough this week and Layla is now going poop and pee with her dad outside. This has changed their whole relationship and it seems as though Layla is beginning to trust dad more and their bond is growing! They definitely have a much different relationship than Layla and I do, but I'm just so happy their starting to grow closer.
As far as the SA tendencies goes, Layla is doing better and we are giving her a bit more freedom in the living room, which I think helps. When I go to the bedroom she will still hop up on the couch and watch me intently since there is a baby gate blocking her from the back of the apartment, but she is no longer barking...just staring and wagging her tail. We are so in love with Layla!!


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