# Shut your mouth book



## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

OK. Since I am in a witchy mood and on a role. I am taking input for a book I am writing. It is called "Just say Sorry and shut your mouth." It is a book to help people learn what to say when they talk to someone who just lost a child, spouse, significant other, etc.

You don't even have to buy the book. Just read the cover - it says it all.

If you read my post in "introduce yourself", you know last year sucked for me and my family. But people amaze me about what they say to me. Now don't get me wrong, when dealing with death people get nervous and say the wrong thing. But some people need a license to talk.

You can have another child or find another husband/wife/partner is top on my list!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Then you have the medical know-it-all that make you question everything you did. UGH. 

Sorry for the post but I am just bursting at the seems with people's stupidity. But really, I am writing a book. It will also have some humor in it too! Like the priest that asked us jeopardy questions during the most difficult time. Everything he said was in the form of a question. What are you going to do now? Pray......Who are you going to pray too?

The best was he said, "My mother lost two children. Oh, she did go insane though." So, see even people who should know what to say even goof it up." Well he is some what right. Now I am a crazy Havanese lady.......... I just got a have one........and not just one........

Really, I am writing a book. Actually I have a few books even a children's book circling in my head. My plan is to write and quit my pencil pushing job. Then I can stay home with my Havanese and volunteer at local hospitals as a pet therapy team. Maybe if I get a bunch of Havanese, we can put a show on for the kids.......


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## susaneckert (Sep 7, 2006)

WOW RITA alls I can say is YOU GO GIRL!!!!!   now that was so weird I just told you my uncle died and the next thing I did was came across this spookie (kidding) The kids would love to see a dog show in the hospital that would be sooooooooo great my X has a 3 year old that has lukima and he has told me many time how lonely the kids are since they just stay in bed all day that would sure bring a smile to there face.  L) I hope you do it. GOOD LUCK


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## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

Ya. Susan. Spooky. We were posting at the same time. Do go to talk to someone - it helps............ Actually, my therapist cried on the second visit. But she didn't give me my money back. 

Adam loved the puppies that came and visited him. He was only in the hospital a short time. It was crazy for us. A whirl wind of emotions. I don't think I can go to the same hospital right now but some day.

I am addicted to this website...... Hav people are such great people with big hearts....


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## susaneckert (Sep 7, 2006)

That is so true they are great people . I will see a doc since my uncle accidentaly shot him self in the head.He was a V- nam vet one of many that never got the help he needed . SO I am not keeping very close touch with my auntie this year sucks in out house right now TG for Yoda he has helped me threw all this my Husband cousler even came to the funeral he is a really nice guy too he is with the VA so my husband is seeing him tonight TG It is weird at the same time on posting LOL Susan


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## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

Susan, just sent you a PM. It should come up on your screen that you have one. But last week someone I PM didn't see it right away.
Spooky.................


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## Melissa Miller (Aug 2, 2006)

Ok I obvioulsly need to go catch up on threads. Rita and Susan, I am so sorry you are going through this! And Rita I like your book idea. Have you written before or is it something you want to get into? I have several books about writing, but I never did anything. I used to be better, but laziness has ruined my grammer.


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## JodiM (Dec 28, 2006)

I just went back and reread your intro Rita. I missed in the first time.

I am so sorry that you lost your son. *virtual hug*

I think your book is a good idea, make sure you post when you get it published, so we can all run and buy it.

Susan, I am sorry for your loss as well.


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## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

Writing is something that I did when I was a kid and sort of put it on the side. I used to write poetry, music lyrics, etc. I also used to dream about plots for novels. My girlfriend used to tell me that my dreams were freaky. They were like mini series...........In my senior year my English teacher chased me around the school trying to convince me to go to college for English. Instead I took a long road (10 years of college part time) and became an accountant. I can see the connection between accountant and writer - can't you. He. He.  

I know what you mean about making time. Everything else comes first. And when you are a parent (a good one) your kids come first. I have old books on writing too but I think I better up date them. I will have to search amazon.


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## susaneckert (Sep 7, 2006)

Thank you Jodi and Melissa Its been one ruff year and its only January


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

Hi 
I agree writing is the best thing you can do . 
I am sorry for your loss as well . I am sorry you have had such a difficult year . Nothing we can say or do can alleviate your pain and make up for your loss ... 
I agree people say the dumbest things after I lost my dog Asta My best friend could not deal with what happened and she kept telling me he died from an asteroid attack . Hello .. Right . WHere is tht coming from ..
You still have your Dog . You did not go through what I went through . To be honest no one would want to go through what I went through .
Anyway this is not about me - it is about you . Take care of yourself . Stay healthy 
Write a book , a novel , a self help book just do what makes you feel good and enjoy the love of your Havanese ..
A Havanese Show would be great they love to perform and learn tricks . I am sure you lnow that they used to be circus dogs >> You go girl !


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Rita, 
Sorry for your loss. Giving back to a program that you received a lot from will probably help.

Pet Therapy is really great though. You receive more than you give too. I had my apprehensions with being involved with it and wasn't sure how much time I could commit, what to do, how to respond to people. The group, I generally go with visits nursing homes. There is one locally that does the hospital visit but at this time, I couldn't commit to once a week and you do have to fully wash your dog before you go, etc. They also recently started a read with the dogs program. In my area, they do encourage bigger dogs for the kid program. Just because it is younger kids.

My maltese loves the actual therapy work more than my havanese. Belle wants to be in everyone's lap all the time. Dora is more of for a little while type dog and would rather be with me. I usually use Dora for the show off part. We sometimes set up agilty, do some obedience, tricks. Then the love the dog part comes and Belle gets to be the star.

Also when you are with your dog, it is easy to interact even in difficult situations where you don't know how to respond. My dogs can often convey things better than I can. Belle will enjoy being with someone and often thanks them on their own, she will give kisses or bark, etc. I do actually have to make sure she is almost completely out of energy before the visits <BG>

I am sure you will find a program that works for you and your new dog too!
Amanda


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## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

Thanks everyone and thanks Jodi for the virtual hug. We are hanging in there. Someone told me you take it second by second. That is about right!

Susan and I PMd. Sometimes it is good to have someone else to whine too and a glass of wine doesn't hurt either........

I think pet therapy is a positive direction and yes I knew that they used to use Havanese in the circus to do tricks. They are very smart and loveable dogs. Don't give my oldest son ideas though; he will be wanting me to dress up as a clown 

I think another book idea is "How to find a good breeder." There seems to be a lot of imposters out there.


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## susaneckert (Sep 7, 2006)

Yes it good to have some one to wine and have some wine with LOL thanks for all the help Susan


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