# 1st puppy..male or female...friendly or reserved?



## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

We're going to get our 1st puppy from a great home breeder. We have a choice of 10 week old puppies: white male that is very friendly or sable colored female that is smaller and somewhat reserved. The male vs female right now, is alot bigger in size. We didn't want a big dog; the female is what we wanted in size/color but the male came to us and played w/ my girls but the female took a little while and was a little squirmy when held.

We didn't want a white bigger dog as i read that they can get quite big. By choosing the female because of color/size, an error? Do you think we'll be ok w/ her? i wonder if it's a female dog or just her personality?

Most of the havanese breeders said that you can pick one and their temperment conforms to your family personality. is that true? help!


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## rdanielle (Sep 2, 2008)

Pick by personality over looks. I'd opt for the white male that came to you as it seems more outgoing. How old are your girls? 



BoopDBoop said:


> We didn't want a white bigger dog as i read that they can get quite big.


I'm not sure what you mean by this. Where did you read that or did the breeder tell you that? Color doesn't indicate how big he'll be. Genetics will. Did you see the parents?



BoopDBoop said:


> Most of the havanese breeders said that you can pick one and their temperment conforms to your family personality. is that true? help!


I wouldn't agree with this statement as puppies are like people and have their own personality. Some are more outgoing and spunky while others are more laid back and mellow. Some are more lapdogs while others are aloof. Puppies should be placed by personality and environments not just based on looks.


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## hav2 (Feb 26, 2010)

Yes, I agree. Please do pick personality over colors, in the long run you'll be glad you did. It is easy to get caught up in what color you want. Overall personality is the MOST important thing when choosing the right dog to fit your family. I have never heard of white males turning out to be big just because of their color. Size depends on their parents. What you describe in meeting with both the pups, it sounds like the male interacted better with your family and he might be the better choice, regardless of his size or color All Havs are beautiful no matter their size or color


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

I would agree with everything that has been said so far... the sable female is likely to turn mostly white anyway. (Jasper was a white and sable puppy.) 

And as far as size goes... there really is no telling. Both Jasper and Cash were about the same weights as puppies... Jasper slowly but surely added both weight, height and length even after a year (we think he was trying to keep up with Cash once he came) Cash doubled his size in the first month we had him and then again in the next two. 

Having picked my first pup Jas, sight unseen, who I love dearly, but is not the most outgoing, easy going boy, I say go with the pup the pup that interacts with your family best.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

I agree COMPLETELY with what others have said... the right personality is SO important. Particularly if you have children, do you really want a stand-offish dog? Or worse, a timid dog? 

As far as size is concerned, even the "giant economy sized" Havs rarely top 20 lbs. (or not by much) they can ALL still be easily picked up and put where you want them. They are all small dogs, even if they are big Havs. And, depending on the ages of your kids, a slightly bigger Hav could also be a little sturdier. (though it's still the responsibility of the adults to make sure the pup doesn't get hurt or dropped)

If you must have a dog that is smaller and not white, wait for another litter, and find one that has the physical attributes you want AND the right disposition for your family.


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

I agree with what others have said PERSONALITY PERSONALITY PERSONALITY (just in case there were any questions about it!) Also if it doesn't feel like one is the perfect fit, just wait. Hopefully this will be your family member for at least the next 10 years. Make sure your breeder fully health tests both parents as well. 

Unfortunately dog personality doesn't conform to family personality cause I have 3 dogs with 3 totally different personalities. Let alone the rescues we have had. This would make adding a new dog a lot easier though!


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

Well I'll join the chorus here and say personality too - and I wouldn't have said that a year ago. We've had Kipling - our first dog ever - since last July - he is now one. We chose him based on the fact we wanted a male and we liked him best in the litter but we chose him way too young to see any personality traits yet (we were going to Europe and picked by looks only) - had there been a cute black and white one, or something else that caught our eye we'd have done that...I didn't particularly want an apricot/cream dog. Well anyone that has seen my posts knows we got very lucky in that his personality ended up working perfect for our family. He is outgoing, mischievous and very tolerant and loving with my kids who are 9 and 11. He sounds like the the male you describe. Friends of ours have a timid dog...one that runs from the kids. The kids are at the point where they no longer care where the dog is. Ours are in love with Kipling. They are so glad he's friendly like he is...

Sorry for the longwinded response - hope it helps.


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

Thank you! I meant that the white male compared to the sable female as of right now is bigger in size. Are females in general more reserved than males or maybe shy since she was exploring outside of her exercise pen? My girls were set on the female and we bought everything pink already


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

You can begin to guess at size if you look at the parents...in Kipling's case he was the biggest of the litter and that's what we were happy with given that he would be playing with kids etc. His father was larger but his mother was smaller. There were two girls in his litter - the tiniest dog was one of the girls and she's stayed smaller (10 lbs or so) and the other one was the second largest in the litter. She was outgoing from the start and maybe even more so than Kipling. I do not get the impression personality is determined by gender...

It's tough if the kids have their heart set on a female...


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

I agree with everyone, you should pick personality over color and size. But, a heart wants what a heart wants.  What does your breeder say about the pups' personalities. She spends a lot of time with them and should have a really good idea what they are really like. As far as color, the Sable girl will probably loose most of that sable coloring anyway. I hope your breeder told you that. Do you have any pictures of the puppies to share?


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

Yes, the breeder told me the she would recommend the male..she also said that i can go back to revisit and change if i want. She also told me the female would turn white also. i dont mind the white..it was the fact that my husband didn't want a bigger dog; being our 1st dog.... The girl was more independent..she did come to us; after the male came to us first though. more of a follower, i guess....


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

BTW: the dad is 13 pds and mom is 10 pds so maybe the male won't be that big? he's just big in comparison to the female. My girls already printed out her name tag....so it'd be tough to change. do you think another visit may help? Also, at 10 weeks, both have started tear staining..the female more than the male. is that indicative of anything?


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

Kipling is just over 13 lbs..he does not seem big to us.

He also had tear staining on pick up. When we got him home he started on different food and the tear staining seemed to vanish. We don't have the issue anymore....this is Kipling as a puppy and today

I tried to show a couple where you can see his tear staining and also that his colouring was deeper and more pronounced and then two where you can see how much he has whitened















And now our big boy


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

It sounds as if you've already made up your mind so I'm a little confused by the question. Everyone here, including me, would recommend the one who, personality wise would fit best into your family. As for size, IMO none of them are "big." It seems to me you're wanting someone to tell you the female would be a better choice, but your description of them and your experience would suggest otherwise. That having been said, ultimately you'll pick whichever dog speaks to you and I wish you luck with it.

One final thought, some say in this breed the boys are usually more "in love" with their owners, while the girls can be more dominant.


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## Feisty (Nov 20, 2009)

Ari (peaches and cream) was the only one left of the litter but his already sold darker sister was still there. He came to us immediately and cuddled with each family member. The next day we discovered that he was afraid of everything outside of our house and family. He cried when other people came to the house. He was afraid of walks until about 6 months. He's now just a little afraid of other dogs but his curiousity outweighs it. He is the bossiest little hyper guy at home with us. He's wonderful out with other people finally. 

He weighs 15 lbs at 8 months and eats like a bird so he's slender and his male friend (black) from same breeder but different parents weighs 13lbs at 9 months. His all-white girlfriend from a backyard breeder weighs 5 lbs if you're lucky. She's tiny. Ari is way more sturdy and is the better dog for our rough and tumble boys and small house. He is not too big to pick up and move and is very portable in a small car. 

What I'm trying to say is that personality on pick up was not what we got in the end. His sweet huggy nature only comes out occasionally when he's sleepy. His size is perfect with kids/teens. He is my first male and I'm happy with the choice there although he does kill our lawn just like a girl because he squats rather than lifting his leg. 

I hope you make the right choice for your family based on instinct. Quite frankly I chose Ari because he was born 09/09/09 and was cute and the right age.


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

Thanks Feisty! being our 1st dog, i'm not sure how to pick from the litter. i've read dog whisperer too  That's good to know. The girls picked the girl because she wasn't as curious as the boy (he was digging at sthg and jumped on the girls). my girls are on the quieter side so they picked the girl because she was reserved.

We can still switch; hence the questions as he's not sold yet either. Just wasn't sure if we shld pick cuz he's friendler or a female that's more reserved...

Thx!


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

It sounds to me that your little girls have made up their mind and so has your husband. the famous: "the girls will love you and the boys will be in-love with you" seems to circulate among most breeders of many, many different breeds of dogs. Such as: maltese, yorkies, havaines, poodles (all three varieties). I believe it depends on the dog, period.


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## mintchip (Apr 19, 2007)

juliav said:


> It sounds to me that your little girls have made up their mind and so has your husband. the famous: "the girls will love you and the boys will be in-love with you" seems to circulate among most breeders of many, many different breeds of dogs. Such as: maltese, yorkies, havaines, poodles (all three varieties). *I believe it depends on the dog, period*.


:tea:

I was sure I was going to get a little black and white girl!!!
*:hug:I LOVE my 2 boys!!:hug:*


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

mintchip said:


> I was sure I was going to get a little black and white girl!!!


What's the rest of your story? How did you end up with two boys?


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## ls-indy (Apr 10, 2008)

I'd pick personality over looks. You might ask the breeder if this litter is a "repeat breeding" because she might know how large previous litters turned out. Beau and Daisy have the same parents - but Beau is a year younger. Daisy weighs 10 lb 8 oz and Beau is just over 13 lbs. One of Daisy's sisters is just under 8 lbs, though she weighed the same as Daisy at 12 weeks.....


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

mintchip said:


> :tea:
> I was sure I was going to get a little black and white girl!!!
> *:hug:I LOVE my 2 boys!!:hug:*


Ha, ha!!! I am a lot like you. Every time I was considering adding a dog to our family, I was looking for and considering only girls. I almost always walk away with the boys. The only time I knew I was going to get a female dogs was when I was buying Brandy (my red standard). Romeo, at the age of 12 months was having issues with other male dogs, so male was out of the question. When it comes to picking cats, I don't even consider females. lol


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

Thx everyone. i mentioned to the girls about this forum...and about maybe changing to the boy...and their heart is set on the girl. I'm crossing my fingers and hoping it works out. I've been reading that havanese in general are pretty family friendly so i hope that it's true  now..to figure out how to potty train!


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

mintchip said:


> :tea:
> 
> I was sure I was going to get a little black and white girl!!!


Sally - that is exactly what happened here. Went to visit the breeder and my intention was to select a little black and white girl. Came away, having chosen a black/tan boy. There was no 'connection' when I held the girl. Augie burrowed in and when we observed him with his littermates, he was always in the thick of things and was the first one in line for dinner when Mom was ready to serve it. I wouldn't trade him for anything and when we are ready to get another, hopefully fairly soon, I want it to be another male, but most importantly I want a personality that will mesh well with Augie's. Augie is very outgoing and happy-go-lucky.


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## FancyNancy (Oct 7, 2009)

hate to be repetitive but I agree - personality is most important. Also, my trainer says that male dogs become much more attached to women (and girls) and female dogs to men. Since it sounds like you have girls, it seems like the little boy puppy would work well for you. Good luck!


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

bummer....the girls would be very upset w/ me if i changed after i chatted to them this am after i read this forum....


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## hav2 (Feb 26, 2010)

They might be upset to begin with, but if you choose the best personality and the best dog for your family, then in the long run you will be much happier.


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## Lilly'sMom (Jan 28, 2010)

I, personally prefer female dogs. There is a very funny thread in here somewhere about the disadvantages of male dogs that pretty much sums up my feelings. I agree that size and color don't matter. What I love about Lilly is her personality. It seems that you really can't go wrong. Havs are great dogs!


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## FancyNancy (Oct 7, 2009)

Your girls will get over it - they're getting a puppy for pete's sake!!! You're the parent - not them.


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

Speaking from experience, I'd say go with the personality. I was dead set on a female from a lovely dam and sire at my breeder, and when it came time to visit I went in with an open mind, as I wanted our home to be the perfect fit for the puppy. Now at that time, another female ( from another Sire) had had another litter which were all boys. Well, lets just say that despite how set I was on getting a female, Majik won me over, hands down. He was very interactive, respectful, and showed no fear. I loved his energy and his personality - he was the perfect puppy for us. My daughter, who is 5 wanted a girl, as she said that both her and I are the only girls in a home of my hubby, son and other havanese Oreo. I, was also set on finding a good alpha that was happy go lucky to complement Oreo and thought a female with the right personality would do the trick. I am happy to have gone in with an open mind, as he is just perfect for us. My daughter is in LOVE, my 13 yr old son is so much more involved with Majik's training. My husband, who is now a second-time dog/havanese owner, is smitten. PERSONALITY, PERSONALITY, PERSONALITY is so key and you won't go wrong. Just like people, dogs vary in personality, so it is best to choose the right one, so that the entire family and puppy is happy. You may choose to go with the female because of looks, but really you also want the puppy to go to a home where she will be totally happy as well. Good breeders know this, and you would not believe the type of synergy that happens when you have that "chemistry". It is such a journey, and amazing one - I wish you all the best.


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

Knowing that your girls are more reserved they may be better with a quieter or less dominant puppy as long as the puppy was not timid or fearful. How did your girls feel that the puppy did not want to sit with them? Will they be content to watch the puppy do her own thing? Because if she is an independent girl, she could turn on your girls if they force play on her. 

I truly feel we end up getting the dog we were meant to have-- if you are compelled to get this female, even though your head says she is not as balanced as the male it may be meant to be. But let me share my story of two very different puppies. Jasper was very independent as a puppy and is to this day. with all his issues I still be believe he was meant to be ours and he is my heart dog. It worked out well for us because we were new puppy owners and we didn't have to confine him for down time because he himself gave us a break. He was never very puppyish. But as he grew, we realized his independence was fear. And his fear has lead to aggression in the case of the mailman. We work very hard on this with him and he is better but he is 4 and it has been a lot of work. We could do it, We have no children. And as much as I love Jasper with all his neurosis, as much as I know in my heart he was meant to be mine... Cash is a much easier dog, and yet he was a much friskier, into everything puppy, with sharp little teeth. But we trained him and his basic good natured wanting to be with people personality has made him a much better, easier to train dog. 

Sorry for the long winded story...we have just heard on here of puppies that don't work out because their fear turns to aggression especially with children. And there are way too many Havs who have been turned over to rescue already. 

Please keep us posted.


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## shimpli (Mar 24, 2010)

I think that if the girls met both the boy and the girl and felt more comfortable with the girl, that's OK. The girl being more reserved, when compared to the boy, doesn't means that the girl has a bad temperament, in my opinion. Visit again, concentrate on the girl and observe her reactions to you and your daughters. You will have the feeling if a change in decision is best and your girls will get used to it.


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

You are getting so much advice here, but don't forget, it is your decision and ultimately your girls, your hubby and you have to be happy with that decision. Don't let us push you into changing your mind about the little girl. Your daughters and your hubby prefer a female, like her better so go with her. As was previously posted, just because the male was the first one to greet you and was more outgoing during the visit, doesn't mean that that is his true personality. You have to live with the dog (just like with a person) to really find out what they are about. They are only young puppies, and it could be that before the visit one got more rest than the other and was more energetic at the time. Good luck with your decision.


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

shimpli said:


> I think that if the girls met both the boy and the girl and felt more comfortable with the girl, that's OK. The girl being more reserved, when compared to the boy, doesn't means that the girl has a bad temperament, in my opinion. Visit again, concentrate on the girl and observe her reactions to you and your daughters. You will have the feeling if a change in decision is best and your girls will get used to it.


Well put....another visit will definitely help and indeed it is your family's decision in the end. Good luck!


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

Definitely go visit again - always the best thing to do. I went several times and observed all the pups, besides it is always fun to watch them play. 

As for saying that a shy girl will have a bad temperment is NOT what I was saying. Rather, as prospective dog owners, it is also very important to ensure we are also a good match to the puppy, so that the puppy can be it's happiest. But as mentioned it is really up to the family and what they want.

Puppies are awesome and really with each one it is a journey, I also do believe we have the dogs we do for a reason.  Have fun with your puppy!!


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Well I agree about the personality as well. This is a pup that will grow with you and your family. I feel that you just know in your heart of hearts. I think your girls will understand over time. You are thinking this through as an adult. I can see why the girls would want a girl. You will make the right decision. Let us know how it goes.


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

Both were actually quite friendly, just one more than the other. several friends of mine just choose their pups being last of the litter and didnt do any of my crazy research that i'm overwhelming the family. 
they dont even want to see it anymore and i'm taking the new fun experience out of it for them. now...they are "whatever mom" and "please dont talk dog anymore". it's upsetting as i see where you guys are coming from but i keep changing my mind and driving my family nuts. sorry..i didnt know this was such a trying experience.


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

Awww hang in there. (((hugs))) I went through that for a while when I thought I knew what I wanted then started questioning myself and my choices... Just ask Laurief... lol She gave me wonderful advise to keep an open mind, go in and observe the pups and that I needed to trust that the perfect pup for our family will join our home. Sure enough, she was right, despite my short term insanity... LOL

Don't give up, go for another visit with an open mind. Know deep down inside your gut will give you your answer and it will be perfectly fine.


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

Thx...i didnt want to bother the breeder again...u shld see all my emails w/ questions. i am not the ideal buyer. she said i can go again but my girls dont want to anymore. i can go alone but both are the same to me...really no difference just one was more timid. not sure if its a female vs male thing? i thought the quieter one may be better for the girls. not sure. i dont care what i get...just a good one


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

Have the puppies gone through temperament testing? That would be an easy way to know which one to go with. Also, your breeder should know which puppy would best fit your household based on your particular needs. If s/he says the male is best for you based on *personality* then that's what I would go for, IMO. The breeder knows the puppy best and can match you accordingly.


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## dainnj (May 3, 2009)

Another vote for personality and for making at least another visit. Also, if you trust your breeder, I would definitely take into account what she thinks. In my case we had our pick of 4 puppies. They were only two weeks old, so we tentatively decided on a fawn female. My son (12 at the time) chose her because she snuggled into his arms and fell asleep. He didn't necessarily want a calm dog that would snuggle all the time, but he just felt that she chose him. We were lucky enough to be able to visit them every week - it's the only thing that got us through that long waiting period! Over those weeks we saw their personalities emerge and wouldn't you know it, that little snuggly puppy turned into the family clown, always ready for action and loving everyone that came by. Our breeder agreed it was a perfect fit for our family. I really do think that Luna chose my son and they absolutely adore each other. But if her personality had turned out differently, we would have chosen another pup.

So really think about how each pup interacted with your girls and go back as many times as you can. It's almost impossible to choose based on one visit. Again, I would trust the breeder as long as you have explained to her what you are looking for in terms of personality. And don't worry about your girls being disappointed, I think they'll be thrilled with any pup you decide to bring home.

Good luck and let us know what you decide.


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## dainnj (May 3, 2009)

> i keep changing my mind and driving my family nuts


I didn't see this post before I replied, but wanted to let you know you are not alone.:grouphug: I drove my family crazy also. They had already chosen, but I kept going back and forth between Luna and a sweet little girl that would sit in your lap forever. I still had doubts even after i brought her home, but am now glad I went with my feeling that while the little girl would have been better for me alone, Luna was a better fit for the whole family. It's a huge decision and as the adults, we're utimately responsible, which is really quite daunting.


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## Mom2Izzo (Jul 1, 2009)

Go with the personality that is going to fit YOUR family. I was dead set on getting a girl when I started my search. When I finally chose the breeder I wanted to get our puppy from she had both boys and girls available. I got to know her, she got to know me and my family (through email exchange) and I explained to her the personality and temperament that I was looking for. I wanted her to know this before she sent me any pictures. She chose the puppy that fit our family best and it was a BOY! He happened to be exactly what I was looking for and can I tell you what a lovebug sweetheart he is? Very easy to train and everyone in the family LOVES and ADORES him! He is a WONDERFUL little guy. Little boys look at you like you just hung the moon! He is a momma's boy for sure and I love that! I think a good breeder is going to want to match the temperament that fits your family best!!!! Best wishes with your new addition!!!!


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## mellowbo (Aug 12, 2007)

pjewel said:


> It sounds as if you've already made up your mind so I'm a little confused by the question. Everyone here, including me, would recommend the one who, personality wise would fit best into your family. As for size, IMO none of them are "big." It seems to me you're wanting someone to tell you the female would be a better choice, but your description of them and your experience would suggest otherwise. That having been said, ultimately you'll pick whichever dog speaks to you and I wish you luck with it.
> 
> One final thought, some say in this breed the boys are usually more "in love" with their owners, while the girls can be more dominant.


Geri, this is exactly what I am thinking.


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## Lynn (Jan 2, 2007)

I think since your kids are involved here, you should try harder to match the puppy to the family.

I would recommend you take the girls back to visit the puppies again.

Your girls might like the girl puppy now but later if she won’t come out and play with them and she just wants to follow you around they are not going to be happy.

I have a male and a female havanese both with very different personalities. I would recommend getting the puppy that is the friendliest with the girls.


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## trueblue (Jan 22, 2008)

I have all boy dogs. My kids probably wouldn't even know what sex they are unless I told them. They generally aren't inspecting the parts, know what I mean? I don't know if you can necessarily generalize personality by sex. I know with mine, two of the dogs (my Hav and Springer Spaniel) LOVE the kids. Even though Santos is definitely my little shadow dog, he plays with the kids when they play with him. Bentley (ESS) is their protector and guard...he follows them wherever they go and lays around until they move to a new location. My shih tzu, on the other hand, doesn't want anything to do with the kids at all. He purposely stays away from them and growls when they try to pick him up. I call him my grumpy old man dog because that's exactly what he reminds me of. Of course, we're talking 3 different breeds too, so maybe that's got something to do with their different personalities.

I'll definitely say that, based on my past experience, I would undoubtedly choose the dog who was more outgoing and less reserved. I know that goes against what your girls want, but in the long run, I think you'd be happier and I think the girls would be too.


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

I would pick the white male in a flash! If you have young daughters they will want a dog to play with, not a shy one. Also if the male grows a bit bigger he will be safer with the kids too! Better for him and for them! 

**My own preference is NOT for a white dog and yet I have Rufus who is a nice big white boy and he is so loved! I am so happy every day that I have him!

Now that I'm reading a bit...I should add that Rufus had ALOT of color as a pup. He had large brown spots and it all faded as he grew. Very typical of Havanese--never pick by color, it changes!


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## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

A puppy being reserve and quiet is not bad. Shy and skittish is bad. Reserve does not mean she will not be playful but probably not overbearing. Our Galen is very reserve around anyone new but she is also playful, loving and entertaining. 

Whichever puppy you choose will be the perfect one for your family. They will become a fixed member of your family within minutes.


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## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

BoopDBoop said:


> Thx...i didnt want to bother the breeder again...u shld see all my emails w/ questions. i am not the ideal buyer. she said i can go again *but my girls dont want to anymore*. i can go alone but both are the same to me...really no difference just one was more timid. not sure if its a female vs male thing? i thought the quieter one may be better for the girls. not sure. i dont care what i get...just a good one


Why do your girls not want to go see the puppies?


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

I wondered that too - how old are your girls? Not sure you mentioned...


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## Pixiesmom (Jul 31, 2008)

I have a 2 YO female and a 3 month old male. I can't fully attest completely to my little male's demeanor yet, but he seems to be more silly, laid back and happy go lucky. He's a very content little fellow. Pixie was more serious and demanding as a puppy-a true diva. She studies your face with intent when you speak to her-she is very intelligent, reliable, trustworthy and was easy peasy to train. I would describe her personality as mature, but she also has a fun side. She is extremely loving toward all of us (I have a daughter also), but is bonkers over my husband. She has never growled or snapped at any of us ever. We'll see how MiG develops, but he may just be the big sweet baby of the bunch-the eternal Peter Pan, whereas Pixie is the boss of him and he knows it.
Boys have their charms and so do the girls. Go with your instinct, you probably already know which one you're leaning toward.


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## Feisty (Nov 20, 2009)

As for colour: with white or champagne, what you see is what you get. They don't change much. Also when Ari is filthy at least I can see where he's filthy and can get him cleaned up. The tear staining comes off at every bath or trim. I love being able to see his beautiful eyes & cute button nose contrast against his fur rather than searching for them under long black/brown bangs. That's my opinion and why I got a ligher Hav. 

Different opinions from everyone. Hope your choice makes you happy. I can relate to driving your kids and husband nuts with your research. I tend to research myself right out of a project by overdoing it. Try to relax (easier said than done). 

Your puppy will love you no matter what.


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

I over-research too and drove myself crazy lol! Your teaching your children the right way to do things though, to really give careful consideration because this is a big commitment for your whole family. Many people buy pups on the spur of the moment because they fall in love with a cute face or they want a purse puppy and a year later they are dumping the dog because they didn't think things through at all. This is a good learning experience for your children too and I know you want what it best for them.


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## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

I think it is an "old school" train of thought that females make the best pets. I'm not speaking from a havanese point of view......but just as an old farm girl. In my area people still think it is best to have a female dog and let her have a litter of puppies,then spay because they think it will turn out a better dog. It is an old fashioned and absolutely ridiculous......but tell a old farmer dude that,and he looks at you like you are stupid.

Over the years I have had all males and one female (bassets,shelties and 1 havanese) and all of my dogs have been good dogs. The biggest thing I believe is diligence in training and housebreaking after you bring a pup home. No dog is a good dog unless you work with it,no matter what sex it is or breed for that matter. Picking the right personality is key.

I have 2 males (1 havanese and 1 sheltie) and they get along fabulously. They are not "dirty" and do not mark (alot of fears of males stem from a male peeing and marking all over their house) and in fact.....both my boys still squat to pee and my boys are 4 and 5 years old. 

If this is something in your mind--you may also consider that in the havanese breed females are generally more dominant and mark as well....so the "gender marking" is a non issue as both are capable of doing it. Most people around my area do not think females mark,but remember--they also think having a female having a litter of puppies before a spay is a good idea.:der:

Good luck in your decision and I hope it all works out best for you. Havanese are a really great breed that need alot of attention and diligence in house breaking...no matter boys or girls.


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Julie said:


> I think it is an "old school" train of thought that females make the best pets.


It is funny cause I always hear just the opposite. I know many people who do performance who will never do it with a girl as they are more likely to blow you off (my girls are split 50/50 on that one)  After Dasher, I am a lover of the boys. Ironically I got a girl cause my friend's boys would leg lift all over the walk. Sure enough, my biggest marker is my little girl!


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## susieg (Aug 28, 2009)

I'm not sure how "reserved" the girl puppy is, but I'll share my story in case it will help...

My Lola was a shy puppy and she has been A LOT of work to socialize, deal with her separation anxiety, get her to warm up to other people, etc. When I first met her I had a feeling she was shy, but I really couldn't tell because I didn't have that much experience with puppies and she was the last of the litter so there weren't any other puppy's personalities to compare her to. When I first brought her home, it was tough to tell because she was fine with my husband and I. But as soon as other people came over on the second day or so and I saw how shy she was around strangers I knew I was in trouble. I was so upset, I almost wanted to "return" her for a refund. But, of course I couldn't bring myself to give her up and I committed to training, socializing and working with her. And eventually accepting and loving her for who she is. It was not easy. At almost a year old she is still shy with strangers or in situations where she doesn't feel comfortable. She is not a happy-go-lucky, outgoing hav that loves everyone and will go up to people...but, she has come a LONG way and is definitely not shy or reserved with my husband and I. Of course I love her to death and she is still a wonderful dog!

Good luck with your decision. And don't feel bad about changing your mind or not being able to choose. You are going to have this dog for the next 15 yrs or so, so its a very important and big decision to make! If you are going to be the main person taking care of it, then I think its ok for you to make the choice. Like others said, your kids will be happy no matter what, either way, they're getting an adorable puppy.


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

susieg, I also am in the same boat as you. Oreo is 3.5 yrs old, and as some can attest to, I also have struggled with the socializing aspect, as Oreo is extremely cautious and take a while to warm up. He has that sweetness that a havanese has, but it has taken and still takes slow conditioning to help him be social with other dogs, and strangers. Oreo has come a long way in his 3 and a half years with us, and for this reason I felt adding a second happy-go-lucky, balanced havanese would help Oreo come out of his shell. Oreo is my dog, or rather I am Oreo's person, and it was tough on my son to know that Oreo was not so carefree with play. It was/is his personality and we have come to love and accept who he is, but in retrospect I could clearly see what I wanted in a second pup. Now after a year of waiting and observing, it is wonderful to have Majik with us. I love how quickly he bonded with my kids and follows everyone in our home. As for Oreo, it may take a little while for him to get accustomed to Majik, but since Majik is very balanced and easy going I am confident it will all work out - it is a HUGE peace of mind. I wish you all the best with your new puppy - those are always fun times!

Any puppy who is engaging and wants to be with all family members is a joy to have, and will bring many years of joy.


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## mimismom (Feb 15, 2009)

I don't have children, but when a situation comes up about my dogs, I think about my nieces and nephews, whom I have plenty of, ranging in ages 1-15!

Everyone has brought up some very good points and suggestions in making your decision, but I think you should also consider what your kids are expecting or wanting from a family pet. 

My youngest nieces and nephews want to walk Mimi on a leash while we are outside. Sometimes Mimi is in the mood for it, sometimes she is not. The majority of the time, they want to just have her sit next to them and they will pet her, kiss her, and hug her. Mimi is all for this!

*picture of my nieces and nephews at Christmas. They all wanted Mimi in the grandchildren picture.

My older nieces and nephews would like a more interactive dog. They don't understand Mimi's more reserved demeanor and love that Gordo is eager to play with them and chase after them and any toys. 

Gordo is my playful, happy go lucky guy! He changes interests very quickly. 


The way that your kids seem to be acting now, where they might not want to hear any more doggie talk, suggests to me that they are excited only about the idea of a girl puppy; one that they can dress up and have for show. They seemed to enjoy interacting with the more playful boy, though. They might disregard the dog as they get older or have moved on to another phase in their life, once the excitement of a puppy ends, or if the dog they thought were getting is different from what they were expecting. I don't know your kids, you know them best, so sorry if I misinterpret.


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

Thanks much! The girl wasn't shy around us; just not as quick; more reserved then warmed up. We saw both 3 times..in over a mth. @ 1st she was more playful, 2nd time, not as much, 3rd time, playful. Just compared to the boy, not running to us immediately. 

i only posted this cuz i wasn't sure what that meant since i can still change my mind. i know that i can change the kids minds, they're very respectful girls and would be upset a bit but it's ok. As a mom, i'm trying to get info so it's the right decision. i've never had one. i've researched this to death...changing breeds, losing a deposit, etc....driving the fun out of the puppy idea for the entire family.

Thx for the reponses. Do you think the personality changes from breeder to my home? i read one response that said that. I;ve called a couple breeders and most said "the personalities conform to you...doesn't matter" so i was just wondering if that was true or not.


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

Personally I do think you need to trust your gut at this point. All the research in the world would not have led me to the right decision without factoring in gut as well. We love our dog. He fits out family perfectly. Did we get lucky or did we all learn to live together? I'm thinking it may be a bit of both. Our kids love to snuggle Kipling, walk him and play with him. He does all three. His brother, adopted by my very close friend and her family, became part of a household of 3 boys and a mommy. Jersey (K's brother) snuggles with mommy and plays like mad with the boys. Barring any fear issues, I do believe your family and your puppy will become one happy unit. Good luck


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## susieg (Aug 28, 2009)

BoopDBoop said:


> Thx for the reponses. Do you think the personality changes from breeder to my home? i read one response that said that. I;ve called a couple breeders and most said "the personalities conform to you...doesn't matter" so i was just wondering if that was true or not.


I disagree with this and personally would not purchase from a breeder that said that to me. Perhaps I would have before Lola, but for my second puppy, no way! Dogs have their own personalities like people do. They also establish roles early on within their litter. For example, the alpha dog that gets the food first and the passive dog that eats last. While you can train and socialize them, there are certain inherent qualities that you cannot change. Some puppies are more easily trainable than others that might require more work and/or a more experienced dog owner. That is why good breeders evaluate their litters to find a good personality match for your needs.

PS: I'm not trying to say that either puppy you are considering is a bad choice.... they are probably both wonderful puppies! I just don't agree with that statement about their personalities not mattering b/c they conform to you.


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## BoopDBoop (Feb 11, 2010)

This breeder i'm buying from didnt say this and she personality matches...other breeders that i've contacted told me that so it got me confused. Thx for all the info!


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

I think it's important to go with the temperament that will best fit your family. To me, color and size are secondary. Having 2 males and 1 female, I prefer the males over the females. I live alone and prefer a house quiet. When buying my pups, I asked for laid back submissive pups. I got just that and it works great for me. My guys just follow me around, love to cuddle, be held and also love their daily hikes. I would not have done well with a very active pup, that didn't like to be held or constantly on the move.
I understand what you are saying about the personality change. I don't think their personalities actually change when they come to you, but the dogs do mimic you. If I am resting, my guys will just rest with me. If I'm up moving around they will follow me. I think if I had kids and my house was very active, my pups might be more active. I think they adapt to your energy. Make sense?


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## Beanie (Aug 30, 2009)

*I agree with Sylvia and Kipling!*



KSC said:


> Well I'll join the chorus here and say personality too - and I wouldn't have said that a year ago. We've had Kipling - our first dog ever - since last July - he is now one. We chose him based on the fact we wanted a male and we liked him best in the litter but we chose him way too young to see any personality traits yet (we were going to Europe and picked by looks only) - had there been a cute black and white one, or something else that caught our eye we'd have done that...I didn't particularly want an apricot/cream dog. Well anyone that has seen my posts knows we got very lucky in that his personality ended up working perfect for our family. He is outgoing, mischievous and very tolerant and loving with my kids who are 9 and 11. He sounds like the the male you describe. Friends of ours have a timid dog...one that runs from the kids. The kids are at the point where they no longer care where the dog is. Ours are in love with Kipling. They are so glad he's friendly like he is...
> 
> Sorry for the longwinded response - hope it helps.


Good point, Sylvia...go with personality first! Beanie is apricot/cream...but I asked the breeder for the most outgoing personality (between Beanie and her brother, Bailey). She is very social and outgoing...you will not regret having a dog with this kind of personality!


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## galaxie (Dec 1, 2009)

BoopDBoop said:


> they are "whatever mom" and "please dont talk dog anymore". it's upsetting as i see where you guys are coming from but i keep changing my mind and driving my family nuts. sorry..i didnt know this was such a trying experience.


Maybe your family is not ready for a dog? They need to understand that the dog will spend its ENTIRE LIFE with your family. For a Havanese, that is like 15-20 years. This is not a decision to be taken lightly, and if your kids (and hubby?) are not willing to listen to ALL your "dog talk" then I foresee some serious problems when it comes to training, socialization, etc.

I will echo what everyone else has said. Personality over all else. Roscoe is the perfect, laid back little boy, and was amazingly easy to train. Maddie was a terror puppy and only settled down around age 3. Stella (who just came home), we were told is a "pistol" but she is actually incredibly sweet and fairly laid back. I think that her personality has adjusted a little bit since there is only one more dog in the house (not several like at her breeder's home). Personally, I prefer boys, but Stella is a very special girl and needed an extra special family with an amazing big brother, so I felt compelled to give her that. I couldn't be happier with our decision to add her to our family 

Note: I have found boys SO much easier to potty train.


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