# puppy aggression to daughter



## maplegrovecindy (May 28, 2011)

I have a 4 month old Hav who is showing aggression, by growling mostly, to my 8 year old daughter. This is very disconcerting! The puppy is the "alpha" female of her litter. Things went well for the first couple of weeks but now she growls at my daughter whenever my daughter picks her up. We are in a puppy kindergarten class and the trainer directed me to have only my daughter feed and treat her. We also do "submissive" type exercises where my daughter lays Princess on her side and instructs her to "settle." There is always much growling and "biting." The breeder said Princess is trying to be dominant over my daughter. Princess does not growl at me or my husband and there are no other children in the house. My daughter verbally reprimands (no bite! no growl!) Princess but it hasn't made much difference. We are frustrated and want to make this work. I would so appreciate any suggestions any of you may have. Thank you!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

I would strongly advise finding another trainer. Laying the puppy down on the ground is only going to make a tense relationship between your daughter and the pup worse. In this instance, someone who can go into your home and watch family dynamics in action is probably the best bet. Please find someone who believes in positive training methods!


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## The Laughing Magpie (Aug 20, 2009)

At 4 months and 8 yrs both your puppy and daughter are too young for unsupervised time. I have a 8 yr old granddaughter who spends the summer with me she has been around small dogs since she was born and has done a 4H course for pet care when she was 6, still I do not allow her to pick up or lug around the dogs. She tries as Misty is 9pds I explain that she might drop her. If my granddaughter bugs the dogs too much and they have enough they growl and I encourage this, I then scold my granddaughter as this is the way they talk and tell her they have had enough. They do play with her and will get in to her lap when they want attention.

Small dogs even sturdy ones need special handling and children have to have limits. As your pup gets older if you take a firm hand now, everything will flow in to place. To get a good relationship between the two, you will need to train them both to respect each other. 

Letting your daughter feed, give treats, help clean up and care for her new pet is a great start. Do try to supervise play times and keeping them to 15 mins at a time. I know this sounds like a short time but to a four month old puppy; playing is so tiring.

I do obedience with my dogs and this year my granddaughter has found that she can give signels and they will sit, stand, stay and heel even for her, she thinks this is way cool. You will do fine if you go slow and I do know how exciting and fun a small dog is to an 8 yr old.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

I would be VERY careful about letting an 8 yo pick up a puppy, when I got Gucci, I told my twin stepdaughters (who were 8 at the time) that they couldn't pick her up unless I was right there, and sure enough when I went to move laundry from washer to dryer and turned my back for 5 seconds, one picked her up and she squirmed and was dropped. Fortunately, she wasn't hurt, she broke her fall a bit on the end of the sofa..but still to this day she is funny about letting them pick her up, she won't growl anymore but she'll run away.

I would always be there reassuring your dog that it will be okay until the trust is built. Puppies can squirm and fall pretty quickly.

Kara


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## Becky Chittenden (Feb 4, 2009)

I agree that they should be supervised. I also agree that the trainer isn't giving the right approach by submitting the dog to subvirsion. I only let children (including mine growing up) to only hold the dog when they were sitting on the floor. When playing they should also sit or kneel on the floor and not play "tug" until the puppy is much older. I did let them give the dog treats and walk with them on lead. I think with kindness (both for the dog's discipline as it is necessary and the child's) and with praise for good actions, all will be fine.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

maplegrovecindy said:


> I have a 4 month old Hav who is showing aggression, by growling mostly, to my 8 year old daughter. This is very disconcerting! The puppy is the "alpha" female of her litter. Things went well for the first couple of weeks but now she growls at my daughter whenever my daughter picks her up. We are in a puppy kindergarten class and the trainer directed me to have only my daughter feed and treat her. We also do "submissive" type exercises where my daughter lays Princess on her side and instructs her to "settle." There is always much growling and "biting." The breeder said Princess is trying to be dominant over my daughter. Princess does not growl at me or my husband and there are no other children in the house. My daughter verbally reprimands (no bite! no growl!) Princess but it hasn't made much difference. We are frustrated and want to make this work. I would so appreciate any suggestions any of you may have. Thank you!


 Great advice so far by the others. Couple of thngs. Forget about the alpha and dominance stuff. Nothing wrong with calming excercises but if growling and biting are going on , you or your daughter is doing something wrong. What does your trainer do when this happens.??? Never reprimand growling. http://www.dogstardaily.com/blogs/why-growl-good and here

http://www.4pawsu.com/k9myths.html If this is happening in front of the trainer, something is wrong.


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## maplegrovecindy (May 28, 2011)

Thank you all so much for your helpful responses! I appreciate your suggestions so much. I have not been thrilled with the puppy kindergarten approach and the submissive training. It hasn't helped whatsoever. So, if the puppy growls or snaps at my daughter, do I scold her or does my daughter need to do the scolding? The trainer suggested the latter. 
Also, Princess does not like to have her nails trimmed! She squirms and growls and makes it impossible for me to trim. Does anyone have suggestions to make it easier? Thanks!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

maplegrovecindy said:


> Thank you all so much for your helpful responses! I appreciate your suggestions so much. I have not been thrilled with the puppy kindergarten approach and the submissive training. It hasn't helped whatsoever. So, if the puppy growls or snaps at my daughter, do I scold her or does my daughter need to do the scolding? The trainer suggested the latter.
> Also, Princess does not like to have her nails trimmed! She squirms and growls and makes it impossible for me to trim. Does anyone have suggestions to make it easier? Thanks!


I think you just answered my questions. Get rid of this trainer. But please read the two articles on growling. By punishing the growl ,your dog might stop giving you a warning first . She will skip the growl and go right into biting possibly. Need help finding a trainer?


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Regarding the nails, lol...I found a groomer by our office that clips them for $8 and we can walk in anytime she is open. It takes her about 5 seconds to do all of her nails, whereas it takes me AND my husband about 50 minutes...of fighting and trying to keep her still enough. 

Gucci won't fight the groomer ONE bit, it is mind boggling to me, she turns into a contortionist when I pull out the nail clippers and I swear..she's double or triple jointed squirming away from them

So if all else fails, the $8 is SOOOO worth not having the headache of it all (of course, please take my advice as a last ditch effort..I hope someone else has a more helpful tip.. I'm listening and I may try to cut them one day in the future), ehh..maybe.

Kara


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## maplegrovecindy (May 28, 2011)

Reply to Dave T.: Thank you so much for the advice and the helpful links! I agree 100%! The trainer has seen Princess growl at my daughter during training and she tells my daughter to make a hissing noise to distract Princess. This does not work! The breeder told me to have my daughter yell or growl at Princess and this has not worked either. My daughter feels bad (Mom, Princess likes you better than me!) and I feel bad, too! Should my daughter just step back and wait for Princess to come to her? And yes, I would love recommendations for trainers. I live in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, Minnesota. Thank you!! As for nail trimming, the breeder offered to trim nails a couple of times for us. I brought her down last week and the breeder was mean to her. She put Princess on a grooming table with a noose and yelled and slapped her nose with the backside of her hand when Princess wouldn't stand still. It was awful to watch! She got the nails cut (with several quicks bleeding) and said she had to be mean to her to train her. I don't know if I can bring my poor little Princess back for another nail trimming but I am at my wit's end as to how to do it myself. Taking her to the vet is not practical. I know how to trim a dog's nails and am willing to do it but she has to be still! Thanks again for any suggestions. All of you Havanese people this board are awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

maplegrovecindy said:


> Reply to Dave T.: Thank you so much for the advice and the helpful links! I agree 100%! The trainer has seen Princess growl at my daughter during training and she tells my daughter to make a hissing noise to distract Princess. This does not work! The breeder told me to have my daughter yell or growl at Princess and this has not worked either. My daughter feels bad (Mom, Princess likes you better than me!) and I feel bad, too! Should my daughter just step back and wait for Princess to come to her? And yes, I would love recommendations for trainers. I live in the Minneapolis/St. Paul area, Minnesota. Thank you!! As for nail trimming, the breeder offered to trim nails a couple of times for us. I brought her down last week and the breeder was mean to her. She put Princess on a grooming table with a noose and yelled and slapped her nose with the backside of her hand when Princess wouldn't stand still. It was awful to watch! She got the nails cut (with several quicks bleeding) and said she had to be mean to her to train her. I don't know if I can bring my poor little Princess back for another nail trimming but I am at my wit's end as to how to do it myself. Taking her to the vet is not practical. I know how to trim a dog's nails and am willing to do it but she has to be still! Thanks again for any suggestions. All of you Havanese people this board are awesome! Thank you so much for sharing your knowledge!


Email me privately at [email protected] with your zip code. Scary breeder.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

wow. my heart is heavy and saddened by what that "breeder" did to YOUR baby while you were there watching... heaven knows what she does to them when no one is around! heartbreaking... poor babies.

As for nail trimming, I have one of my kids hold a spoonful of peanut butter up for Tillie to lick while I clip, clip, clip! LOL may not be the healthiest option, but it works!  anything to keep them distracted...


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## CrazieJones (May 28, 2011)

YIKES!!! That is a mean breeder! 

I agree with Tammy tho with a tasty distraction. My Roshi would die for his bully stick.


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## clare (Feb 6, 2010)

Whilst you are trying to find a decent trainer,just give Princess gentle love,and let her play with your daughter on her own terms,and if she should start growling or behaving in an inappropriate manner simply ignore her totally,get up and walk away,turn your back on her bad behaviour don't push her away or put her in another room or xpen,let her find out that by playing nicely she will get more love.It sounds like she has been treated way too fiercely from the start,and as most Havs just want to please,they don't respond well to harsh treatment,but then most of us don't.Good luck,and you will get there in the end though it may take a little time and patience.


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## Tom King (Aug 2, 2006)

The puppy just doesn't trust that she's safe in your daughter's arms. Is this your first dog? Children become dog people really fast, but they need some experienced help to start with sometimes. It would be better for the child to sit on the floor when interacting with the pup. That's the first thing we tell people when they come to visit with young children.

Giving verbal commands means nothing if the person giving them, regardless of age, isn't communicating in a way that a dog understands. Better to say nothing, than to give a command that the dog doesn't take.

This will all get better pretty quickly, but do seek better advice than what you have encountered so far from the "class" and breeder.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

TilliesMom said:


> wow. my heart is heavy and saddened by what that "breeder" did to YOUR baby while you were there watching... heaven knows what she does to them when no one is around! heartbreaking... poor babies.
> 
> As for nail trimming, I have one of my kids hold a spoonful of peanut butter up for Tillie to lick while I clip, clip, clip! LOL may not be the healthiest option, but it works!  anything to keep them distracted...


Tammy, I love this idea and will try it today since McGee badly needs his toenails clipped and we've been dreading it!


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## The Laughing Magpie (Aug 20, 2009)

To add a bit to the nail trimming, when I have a new dog even if it is not a puppy, I begin from day one handling them in different ways, such as feeling each leg, holding each foot and stroking the pads, moving each tiny toe, same with ears, face, this takes awhile and you go slowing over days, or weeks, and some cases a month. You are getting them use to human touch and being manipulated physically. Sounds like a lot of work but it is not you just do it several times a day like when your watching tv you don't make it a big deal. The idea is they learn to trust your touch. Also get them use to the smell the sound and look of the nail clippers. It really is easy if you go slowly from the beginning, once they get to the point of caring on and fear it takes a lot longer to go back. Some dogs are just easy going, most are not.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

Great stuff , Robbie.


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## morriscsps (Aug 17, 2010)

Jack still tries to dominate my 9 yr. old. I am always yelling at him (my son, not Jack.) At this stage of the game, your daughter shouldn't be in any position where the puppy can be on top of her or jumping on her. Lying down with they puppy is such a bad move. It tells the puppy, "Yes! She is a plaything." 

Tell our daughter to stand up and stop playing when things get rough. The next 'horrid' step is to turn her back on the puppy and *gasp* ignore her. Finally, if the growling, nipping whatever continues, I find a timeout helps calm everyone down. That is what the expen is for - a calm place to reflect on what has happen. 

Okay, I know. Dogs don't reflect but the silent and ignore them method does help. We used this method with our Border Collies. They are such soft (intelligent people-loving) dogs that yelling, hitting, and forcing causes more problems. I think Havs are very similar.

My hubby wonders if dogs are Catholic because guilt seems to work really well. ound:


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