# Help...need advice!



## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

OK, so Tessa is home and we're seeing some behavior that has us concerned. Maybe some of you can give us some insight as to whether this is normal or something to be concerned about.

She seems to be very, very shy and timid. OK, so this is all new to her and I understand why she may be intimidated at first. However, at times she will run away or back up if we come close. She's even hid under the table. Once she even cowered when we reached for her even though we were in a kneeling position. We're don't bend down from a standing height so it's not that we're looking like giants. I know she wasn't abused; she was well-treated. She doesn't greet anyone with what I thought was a typical friendly outgoing Hav personality. She will at times show us some excitement and kiss us. She will snuggle up on my shoulder, lap, or beside me. Other times she acts scared to death of us. We haven't done any corrections or given her a reason to be scared.

I took her to the vet this morning and she showed no response to anyone there. No fear but not even a tail wag when they spoke to her. Same thing when a friend and her son stopped by yesterday. We kept things quiet and they sat on the floor but she never did warm up to them. I think they left wondering what the heck kind of puppy is that...she wasn't even playing, just laying on the floor. Where is the typical 'everyone is a friend" personality?

She's playing a little but not much, kind of lackluster. She'll play a couple minutes, then go lie down

Has anyone else seen this when they first brought their puppy home and did they come out of it? Should I be concerned? She's nearly 4 mo old so did she miss some socialization not coming to us sooner? Is she depressed about leaving her home? We got our Sheltie at 4 months and I never saw this behavior, not even when we first brought her home...she loved everyone from the first.

I spoke to our breeder and she said to give it a few days and if it doesn't get better we have a problem. I know she will do whatever is needed to make things right. 

I feel sick. Any advice or hope here?


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## DAJsMom (Oct 27, 2006)

Dusty was seven months when we brought her home. She literally ran from my husband for several days. She would follow me around, but didn't want much to do with the kids, and definitely not my husband. We didn't see this the very first day, but after about 24 hours, it surfaced. I think she was just stressed at the change. It did not last and now she loves my husband and kids and our friends. She is a little on the shy side with strangers, but I'll emphasize the little in that. I think your breeder is right. Give it a few days. Give her lots of treats, sit with your back to her and read a book or something and let her come to you and investigate and get comfortable with her new surroundings. I bet some other people here will have good suggestions for you also. 

There's a book called "How to Raise a Puppy You Can Live With" that talks about developmental stages for a puppy and might help you also.


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## TnTWalter (May 9, 2007)

*Big [[[[[[[[[[HUGS]]]]]]]]]] Jan...*

well you said she was sick on the way home...perhaps she's just not feeling well yet. I would give it a few days and I'm sure others will post. We didn't pick Winston up until he was 14 weeks so I relate there.

Keep us posted. Perhaps offer lots of little treats for coming to you...teach her that it's a good thing...also have people give her treats when they come to the door so she learns seeing people = good.

Good luck.


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

Try not to worry, but more than that, don't cater to that behavior. If she backs away from you, don't bend over and start talking baby talk, which is the mistake most people make, but turn your back instead. She will probably come around in just a couple of days. When she gets a little more comfortable and realizes that she is now _home_, then you can start encouraging her to seek out new things. For now, just try to get her to be a little more confident in her surroundings.

Ignore the timid behavior and encourage boldness.

I haven't had to do this yet, so I can't tell you how to do it via type, but if you can find someone who can teach you how to teach her the "go see" command (basically, it is a reward for her going to investigate whatever you point out for her). This would be something to do after she is less timid in her own home, but also a confidence builder for outside the house.


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## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

JanB said:


> I feel sick. Any advice or hope here?


What did the breeder say was the result of the Volhard puppy aptitude test? What were her numbers?


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

I'm sorry that Tessa isn't becoming accustomed to her home as quickly as we hoped she would! Wait a couple of days and see if she will feel better soon. Kubrick has always been an attention hog and very much in love with humans so I didn't have this particular problem. However, I have read that sometimes you have to show the dog that humans mean good things, like food. Use food rewards when you pet her, when you bend down suddenly to her, anything that might seem threatening. It's hard because she's little and is probably just afraid. Good luck and hang in there! :hug:


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

I also wanted to add that I agree with Kimberly and you shouldn't baby talk her when she's scared since it reinforces the behavior. Only reward her for good (non-shy) behavior.


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Dora was also very timid and I got her at an older age (5 months) as well. As to her breeder, she is a nice person but she has too many dogs to honestly socialize them properly and she lives alone and raises horses as well. While we fell in love with Dora, we should have probably found a better socialized dog but I didn't know better at the time and as my husband says, I would have probably taken her home with one eye and 3 legs. It has been a long journey to have her become the dog she is. I probably had her at the training club being socialized at least 3-4 nights a week and now today she is fine but she still isn't crazy about being loved by strangers like my maltese.

I think one of the best things you can do- see if she is interested in food. I learned the power of luring from a 4 year old! Her mom is a dog trainer and she fell in love with Dora. While Dora isn't nearly as outgoing as Belle, Leila made Dora come to her as forcing a timid and shy dog is not the way to go. Leila took a treat and within 10 minutes, had Dora following her all over the place. When Dora started to lose interest, Leila would drop her hand and let Dora have a small piece of the chicken. That would get Dora near her side and following her again. After awhile Leila added to petting Dora, putting Dora on her lap etc. This probably took a few weeks but it even shocked me. Then Dora thought of Leila as a pez dispenser and would see her and run to her!

I would also try to approach her from a lower level. Think of how dogs approach each other when they are intimidated- down low. Less scary for her. So get on your knees.

Honestly though, if you feel it might not be a great match, I would return her and find the best dog for you and your family. It may not be this dog and that happens! I have really tried to develop this way of thinking and I think your breeder probably knows this too. I am very active with my dogs so a loving couch potato is probably not going to fair well in my house. My maltese will probably give it a heart attack first of all! And if I were matched with the wrong puppy, I would probably exchange or wait for a better puppy that was better suited for my home.

Amanda


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Jan, I asked and the breeder didn't do a temperament test. I do know the parents are both outgoing friendly dogs.

Just now my husband and I sat on the floor and tried calling her to us, making smoochy noises, and she sat about 10 feet away and simply looked at us, then turned and walked away. ???

So we'll try to ignore the behavior and only reward the times she comes up to us on her own. I have noticed she doesn't like for us to be out of her sight and she will follow us but if we turn to her she runs away.

There are times we have to pick her up such as when we take her out or put her in the crate for the night. So at those times we should give a treat when we go to pick her up.

So when I do pick her up she does like to melt into my shoulder and be carried like a baby. Kind of mellow for a puppy! Would that be considered catering to her?


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Oh Jan I am sorry that Tessa is not warming up.....I hope that things will work out soon for her and you!!!! I am sure that it is hard to see her act that way....it sounds like your breeder is going to be alot of help to you!!! Please keep us posted as to how she is going!!!:kiss:Jillee sends Tessa some puppy kisses!!!


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Well, Jan I am not sure....I do know that when Jillee was younger she did sleep alot but would also be playful. I would try and call her when you are getting ready to put her in her crate and give her a treat....try and ask your breeder if she had any favorite treats...maybe that will help. I kmow you will get some good advice on here!!! Hope that you will start to see some improvements!!!!


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Amanda, we're already approaching her on our knees and down low....it's not helping yet.

We've tried different foods but she doesn't seem too interested. I guess I haven't found the right one yet. I thought she'd go for cheese but no. She does like the Eukanaba (sp?) treats which is what she was given at the breeders.

I do think our breeder will do whatever to make things right. She told me last night she wouldn't cash our check yet.

I would hate to give her up but I don't want a high maintenance dog that I have to constantly coax either!

I thought we'd done everything right. I researched the dog, breeders, spoke to owners of Havs, asked questions here, etc. We even made 2 separate visits to the breeder before we chose Tessa.

We'll try the suggestions here and see what happens in the next day or so.


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

That may be your key, Jan. Since she doesn't like you out of her sight, how about trying to go about doing something as if she isn't there (like washing dishes)? If she comes up and touches your leg, then reward her with a happy voice and reach down to give her some extra loving for coming and touching you. If she is food motivated, you can give her some lean meat or a good treat too. I prefer praise & love, but at this point, do whatever works for you guys and draws her to you.


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## Olliesmom (Sep 29, 2006)

I picked up Austin in Texas at about 4.5-5 months old from CA...he and I bonded immediately as we flew for 13 hours and all he had was me and my scent constantly in his sherpa bag as I practically rubbed him the entire time thru the zipper.

When we got home he had some issues with the rest of the family DH and son, especially 15 year old son - he would cowar down and run from him almost all the time...of course as a teenager and this being puppy # 2 he had no patience and gave AUstin the impression that he didn't like him - you could just feel it. BUT!!!....

Time did change EVERYTHING! And food worked wonders....Son would feed him - give him treats etc...also leaving him alone with son helped to - he would take him in bed and just snuggle etc. He is the happiest dog I have ever had - everyone loves him - of course he also demands that everyone love him. But you would not have thought that the first week or so. I think he is more emotional than Ollie...maybe your pup is emotional too - his highs are so high and his lows are low - unlike Ollie who just seems to be at a level much more even -. But if you do not see any changes over a period of time...then you may want to reconsider. If I rememebr did't your DH have concerns when you met her versus other pups there?


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

Cosmo was very timid when we got him . He also had some issues with his health and that even made it worse as he was supposed to be a sweet loveable puppy . He barked a lot he howled a lot - he was so different from Asta ..
Asta was happy social and outgoing - never had a timid or shy moment and certainly not the health issues ,, 
Maybe I should have returned Cosmo but I had just lost Asta and I could not lose another dog and certainly not Cosmo .. he was so cute - I knew there was a good little guy in there.. 
Now he is a different dog -I have had him a little over a year .. He is happy ,social still cautious at times but this is Ok . He lets people pick him up he goes to meet people . Some people he really likes and he gives them ear lickies .. He finally wags his tail .. 
It took a lot of time. patience a behaviourist a new vet , good diet and exposure to nice people . The construction on the house helped us too - lots of men to meet . In the begiining I would walk him and go up to people and talk to them - I know all the gardeners in the desert and they know us .. We added Ahnold to the family I know this is not a solution for everyone another dog for us it helped immensely .. Some children and puppies are like flowers - late bloomers but when they bloom - you have the pick of the crop!!
Hopefuly things wll improve for you too .


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## Olliesmom (Sep 29, 2006)

Oh and in regards to treats....when my pups were little I used cat food - they LOVED it! And it is small and cheap - I really only gave them a kernal or 2 each time but yummy for them....you would have thought it was steak!


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Hi Jan,

I would not worry to much if I were you.. I bet she just misses her first home! In acouple days you will look at this thread and laugh... 

Beamer still runs from us when we try to scoop him up off the ground.. lol.. i think he thinks we are playin with him though... lol


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## Leeann (Feb 28, 2007)

Jan, my Monte was a little timid when he came home also. Although he was not afraid of me at all it was everyone else that came over and my husband. Whenever he would show fear and come running to me I would just ignore him and walk away. I was amazed at how fast this turned his fear around. I would say he is still more cautious about things but is much better and will walk right up to strangers now. Looks like you have some great advise, I hope it helps.

I think I have the same problem as Amanda one maniac at home really makes you look at things differently. Although I do feel that Ry’s attitude on life probably helped Monte break out of his shell. I bet it was Ry that scared the crap out of him when he first came home LOL just kidding.

Kimberly, I never heard of the “go see” but it kind of sounds like what we did with Monte just different words. I used food reward (cheese or chicken) and when I noticed him looking at something then back at me I knew he was unsure of going to it I would then say “what’s that” very cheerful and lure him over to it with food. We still do this but without food, he will look at me and I know he is unsure all I have to say is what’s that and he goes running over.


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

Jan, Jasper was a very independent puppy. He was not a cuddler but he did like to play. And he absolutely was not food motivated- then we found Canz real meat treats  But I would certainly try some of the advice here for a few a days. But absolutely, if need be, get a dog that is a better fit for your family. 

But I bet she is just getting used to everything. This is her first time away from all her brothers and sisters and those humans she has known all her life.


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## NancyVB (Jun 27, 2007)

All our pups were social messes when we got them, time and patience are what is needed in this case. Puppies that aren't socialized well take longer. Just love you pup, reward the good and ignore the bad. When we brought Emma home we had to lay on our backs and coax her to us with treats. All our pups are very friendly today, with the exception of Emma (she was abused) who is cautious and eventually comes around. Good luck with your puppy.


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Jan
My breeder gave me a paper about things to have your puppy meet to help socialize him or her...I will scan it and email it to ya maybe that will help you in socializing Tessa!! I would not give up it may take sometime!!!


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

Leeann said:


> Kimberly, I never heard of the "go see" but it kind of sounds like what we did with Monte just different words. I used food reward (cheese or chicken) and when I noticed him looking at something then back at me I knew he was unsure of going to it I would then say "what's that" very cheerful and lure him over to it with food. We still do this but without food, he will look at me and I know he is unsure all I have to say is what's that and he goes running over.


Exactly, Leeann! My girlfriend is a trainer, handler and breeder of bigger dogs (Vizslas & Rottweilers) and uses the words "go see", so that is what I've always called it. She's had two very timid Vizsla girls and makes them touch the object with their nose when she says "go see" to get their reward. "What's that?" would work the same way.

Did you do that on your own or did someone suggest that to you?


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Oh Jan :grouphug:

I've had about 30 minutes or so to think about this since I first read your post, I had a slight 'grooming crisis' to delay me (Lets just say that a half-wet coat picks up ALOT of sticks!eeks)

Anyhow....If I were you, I would give this a few weeks.

My situation was a bit different because I got Gucci VERY young, 8 weeks, and as that did have its benefits of 'bonding' and 'socializing' her to our family and lifestyle, We also had to deal with some serious separation anxiety!

But you have to step back and look at this objectively, Tessa, in human years..is still a child and she's had her early puppyhood in a different environment. I'm sure she's still getting used to you, your family, the smells of your home, etc. I know you say your Sheltie didn't exhibit any apprehension, but I think that Havanese are more 'emotional' than some other breeds, atleast from what I can tell comparing Gucci to other dogs we see often and how they interact with their owners. I dont' think that necessarily makes the 'high' maintenance, because you can condition/train them with rewarding behaviors, etc, just like you can with other dogs.

If food is not a big motivator...what is? Does she have a favorite squeeky toy that she loves to play with? Play with her. Or find that special 'treat', I used chicken and turkey, too. There is bound to be something that gets her attention.

Gucci will run and hide under a table if I have a brush or comb in my hand, lol....oh and nail clippers! But what works WONDERS for getting her out now is to walk off and into another room. She can't stand being *ignored*, and I think most havs are like that and you can use that to your advantage.

We had an incident when she was very young, she was stung by a wasp in our bathroom, but to make a long story short.....she blamed my husband (he took the stinger out) and it took a few weeks for her not to be scared of him, she acted like she was 'afraid' he would hurt her. It really made us both sad  But after alot of treating, praise..she did rebuild that trust back, I'd say 3-4 weeks...since they don't see each other all day like I do, and they are the best of buddies now. You'd never know she was afraid of him like she was.

I'm glad to hear your breeder is helping! I do think I would give it more than a few days to build a bond, but once you DO have that bond, Jan..it will be a very close, intimate one. 

Kara


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Jan I ws wondering if you guys are acting nervous over her because they can sense that and maybe she is sensing it....just a thought....trying to help ya!!! If you want to meet up sometime maybe we can.....I know it is kinda of a ways between you and I but maybe Jillee and I can help....just a thought


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Leeann,
That is a good point though. Belle helps Dora out of her shell as well. Dora can do therapy dog visits when Belle is around. Where as when she is alone, she doesn't really like all of the attention on her and it overwhelms her. When we do visits at nursing homes, Dora is okay cause Belle is so worried about being center of attention, Dora doesn't feel all the pressure and she will jump on people's laps, etc.

It may also just take time for her to be out of her shell as from the looks, she probably spent the first 4 months of her life surrounded by other dogs as well.

Amanda


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## Leeann (Feb 28, 2007)

Kimberly, I did do this on my own but having taken obedience classes with Riley taught me a lot on how to target and use reward for certain behaviors.


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Jan!!!! It looks like you are getting some good advice!!!! I hope things will work out either way for you soon!!!!


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

My husband and I would play hide -n-seek with Ginger!!!! I would hide and he would say go find mommy....and then when she found me I would give her a treat...then we would take turns...it really helps them build that bond...plus it is fun!!!!


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Oh, and Jan..

Did Tessa greet you and your family happily and 'friendly' when you met her at the breeders? I think once she feels more comfortable and used to her forever home, she will respond better to guests. Like Amanda, I would let strangers and children give her special treats. One neighbor has two small children, 2 and 4 and they brought over a puppy gift basket when we first got her (awesome neighbors, I tell ya!) full of treats and toys and Gucci will go absolutely crazy happy when she sees those children now. I think she likes them more than MY kids! lol ound: She's a sell out!

Kara


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

OK, so I see there may be hope yet. Thanks for sharing your stories. When you read about Havs you're left with the impression ALL are happy-go-lucky and outgoing. I hope those of you who saw this and it was temporary will be my story!

I have already tried to praise and love her up when she gets close but most of the time she'll back off if I reach down, even if I crouch first. So maybe I can try to simply drop a treat instead. So, I'm hearing I should do the same with when she follows me. Become a Pez dispenser, lol!

Megan, thanks for the socialization list and the offer!

I was told she'd been well socialized but I know there are things we should do too.

Catherine, yes, the first night we visited my husband thought Tessa had not warmed up to him although she was fine with my daughter and I. But the next morning she ran up to him, climbed in his lap and planted a big kiss on his face.

She seems happiest first thing in the morning but maybe she is just happy to get out of her crate, not happy to be with us!

Thanks for the go-see advice. But it's usually US she doesn't want to go see! But I guess the fact that she will follow us is a good sign.

Thanks for all the advice and hope. You guys are just the best. I'm writing all the suggestions down. I won't give up yet!

P.S. not a lot of interest in toys. She has one that I might call a favorite, the one she was throwing around and puncing on yesterday, but not so much that we can entice her with it. How do you play go-see if she won't get close???

So, when is a good time to begin a puppy class? I was wondering if this would help bring her or make her even more timid by overwhelming her?


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

If shes already 4 months old, time to start puppy class now!


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

Good luck to you and I hope these great suggestions will help you to help Tessa feel safe.

I have just started reading a book called "The dog Listener" by Jan Fennell, it has such great points and I have started to implement some suggestions. From reading I have a Wanna-be Alpha here who thinks he has to protect me from everything ( people, dogs, rustling leaves). I have been struggling with his fears of other dogs and strange people for months now, and I know it stems from insecurity. I suggest you read that book, I took it out from my local library and am seriously considering to buying it. Very simple and very humane methods (non physical) that sends a clear message to our dogs.


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

I'll check into puppy classes. Any recommendations? AKC? PetSmart?

I checked and our library does have The Dog Listener. I don't think alpha dog is our problem, but maybe there will be some good tips. I've read The Puppy Whisperer and a couple other puppy books.

Right now she's curled up on my lap sleeping. She had her shots today and isn't feeling too well. But still, her wanting to be in my lap....I can't help but feel that's a good sign.


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

Jan, it _is_ a good sign. 

Our Petsmart has excellent training for Puppy Kindergarten, but I am not sure if that is the same across the board. Several of my puppy owners have benefitted from them. The best part that I found is that you learn a little bit about dog behavior and how to work with how dogs learn.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Jan,

When I first got Milo I wrote a number of times asking the group if it was normal for him to be so mellow. He did follow me around, especially when I had him in an environment other than the house, yet he didn't interact much at all, prefering to go off by himself and curl up and sleep. He was 5 1/2 months old when he came to me. And oh, I thought he had no voice, it was many weeks before I heard him bark.

If you think of it as a little being uprooted from everything it has known and the security of the environment it was born into, then plunked down in a foreign country, with a whole new language to learn and with total strangers, it might make more sense. I would give her her space and certainly the time to adjust. She has to feel safe. I have no doubt she'll come around. It took Milo a few weeks, during which time many of my friends thought there was something wrong with him. The thought he was sick, he was so quiet and withdrawn. I must say there are days now when I'd love a visit from that mellow fella. I now lovingly refer to him as my lunatic.


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## Olliesmom (Sep 29, 2006)

Just relax with her....it should be fine - I remember being so stressed that Austin was going to be cowaring all the time....I think he could sense my nervousness...


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

JanB said:


> Right now she's curled up on my lap sleeping. She had her shots today and isn't feeling too well. But still, her wanting to be in my lap....I can't help but feel that's a good sign.


Aww...that does sound like a good sign!She obviously does trust you, maybe it was just a rough day at the vet. Gucci gets really scared at the vet and isn't the most friendly there. Of course, she associates the vet with shots and thermometers stuck up her bum, so who can blame her for not thinking its very fun.

When you DO get her to stop and let you pick her up, don't always pick her up. Sometimes, just rub her belly/ears and/or give her lots of praise and love. Let her know that you reach for her sometimes just to give her love or a treat. I think that will help.

Kara


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## Leeann (Feb 28, 2007)

Jan, I think a puppy class would be great for you and her. The petsmarts in my area are not very good, they seem to differ from state to state. My suggestion would be to call around to a few places and see if they would allow you to go watch a class. Then you can decide what fits best to you.


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Geri and Catherine, thanks, it helps to know other puppies have had similar issues and ended up fine.

Kara, I've been doing that. Sometimes she lets me, other times she still runs away. I know she's not feeling well from her shots, she's even more of a blob today than yesterday. But I saw the behavior before the vet visit.

I checked into puppy classes at PetSmart. They have a new one starting this Fri but I'm wondering if it's too soon...maybe I should give it a few weeks to help her acclimate to us and our home first. Then again, it might help bring her out of her shell. She's certainly used to being around a lot of other dogs.


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Leeann, good idea to observe first. I did talk to the instructor personally on the phone and she seems very knowledgable, has been conducting the classes several years, is certified, etc.


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Jan,
Puppy classes will definitely help! I would say get to them right away if she has her shots now. Just make sure it is VERY positive! They helped Dora and now she can go compete anywhere. It was a great way for socialization but it made us have an amazing bond. 

As to the dog mentally. I think one of the best things you can do for a submissive dog is act calm and don't act insecure even when you want to baby them (just like others are saying don't lean down to "protect" them from the scary things) . Cesar says a lot about how your dog will act is how you act. When Dora gets overwhelmed, she will jump on my knees to pick her up like I have her jump in my arms for agility. She wants removed from the situation but I try to act tough and not do it. I also use "no sissy" I am not sure if she understand what I mean but I want her to know it isn't okay to get like that. Where as at the dog park, there was a lady there with an unsocialized Bichon, she went in there with attitude of her poor little dog then all the dogs went over there to beat it up. Including my maltese! I think the park could have been good if she just left the dog alone. You should really see if there is a little dog play group you could join right away as well.


Amanda


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

I would ask if they would let you go this Friday and see if it is something you thing you would like and be good for Tessa....maybe they can meet with you before the class begins and see what they think and see how she acts to them!!!


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Well, I admit I have been babying her a little when I do pick her up. Even though I know better it's hard to not "reassure" her. I'll stop.

Megan, good idea...it certainly can't hurt!

I did call our local Obedience club that gives classes but they won't have a new one until January.

I don't know of any club or play date groups...this IS the Midwest, lol! But i will do some asking around.


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## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

My 2 cents :biggrin1: I think she just needs to warm up to her new surroundings. It's probably pretty quiet compared to where she cam from - no puppy noises, no mommy - just these two humans that took me from my home. And each dog is different, they are not cookie cutter dogs. I think she will come around in her own time. She trusted you enough to sleep in your lap because she needed some comfort. 

I think I would wait for puppy classes. It might be too much all at once for her. I know where I go, they have to have all their shots before they are admitted to class.

I hope things get better daily and look forward to updates. I'm sure they will be happy ones.


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## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

I think you have received alot of good advice here already--but I just want to re-inforce the idea of not praising and loving behavior you do NOT want.If she isn't secure and runs off and you praise her,you are teaching her that is what you want.


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Gosh, it has been just a few days, and surely she's still adjusting. I think it's an even bigger change for a 4 month old than a three month old~~ she's that much more aware. I would act very matter of fact around her, which will inspire confidence. I might add that my dog has NEVER wagged his tail or once kissed me ( he will kiss my husband's ears !) but we consider him very very affectionate. He only wags his tail for other dogs, or for children or young people . He, too, loves to snuggle, and that's a great sign. He does love most strangers. So, every dog is different. If she doesn't come around in a week or two, then I'd be more concerned. Don't fret yet! There's no such thing as the perfect wind-up puppy!


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

You know she had alot of company at her old house and being at your house it is a culture shock to her...when you leave make sure have a radio on or t.v. Jillee loves to have the noise...her breeder had the country radio station on 24/7!!!! When I would go somewhere with her if she started whining I would turn up the country station and she would quiet downI thought that was too cute!!! I bet in two weeks there will be a whole new Tessa!!!!


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

I agree - give her time . Socialize your dog as well .. try and be secure and confident .. You are the pack leader.. 
As to classes do you have a Humane Society nearby they usually give excellent puppy classes .. Go online and look .. ask your vet - they are the ones that pointed me in the right direction as to puppy classes .. call and ask about the size of the class and the size of puppies .. Usually the first classes are fine as most of the puppies have the same behaviour abbd they are all still small .. Be consistent and go - do not just go once or twice unless you feel the class is not a good fit for you and your dog but try it out . Once class we left as the instructor could not control the dogs - it was the adolescent class and I felt Asta was going to be hurt .. There were just too many big dogs .. We have to be practical and use our common sense.. 
Also puppies and dogs and children like routine and structure - they like to have a schedule .. It does take time is all I can say and every dog is different .. 
Go to the library - they are a lot of puppy books you can get .. Some are better than others .. I even bought the puppy magazines you get at Petco or Petsmart - they have a lot of helpful information ..
if she is sitting on your lap she knows you are her mom and will protect her and this is a good sign ..


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

I was wondering how she would hold her tail? Is it up in the air or tucked in between her legs?? Jus thought that if you could hold her and put her tail up and reinforce positive talking to her maybe that will build up her confidence....saw that on Ceaser..it was worth a shot!!!!I hope this makes since to you...anyone else know what I am talking about!!!


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## mellowbo (Aug 12, 2007)

Hi, I also agree she needs time. Do not chase her as this seems to be a game for havanese (although it doesn't appear she's playing) Are you sure she hears ok? 
Carole


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

My breeder just called to see how Tessa was doing and she set me up a call with a dog behaviorist. We just got off the phone. Basically she said the same thing...they aren't cookie cutter dogs, they all have different personalities and Tessa is simply showing signs of stress.

She told me to put Tessa in a crate on the sofa next to either me or my husband and become a couch potato. Every once in a while we can offer a treat and/or open the door and put our arm in. Take her out for food and potty of course, and any time she shows signs of being stress-free, like wagging her tail. When she's out and shows signs of running away or cowering put her back in...not as punishment but for a safe haven because her behavior is a sign of stress and her crate will make her feel safe. Avoid eye contact. For now we should drop our head and look sideways when we approach her. In other words, begin to speak to her in dog language. When she's out of her crate and following us we should ignore her and definitely no eye contact. No baby talk, it means nothing to her now anyway.

For now, until she becomes acclimated to us, no puppy classes and no visitors. She said she's been dropped off in a foreign land so give her time.

She promises us that this will not be the dog that we will see in 3 weeks, probably less. She says Mary Anne doesn't breed dogs with these issues and this won't last. The fact that Tessa will follow us around and wants us to be in her sight, and esp that she feels safe enough to sleep on my lap is all good. Also, that she shows signs of playfulness before the stress sets in is a good sign.

Also stroking a dog's ear from the base to the tip is relaxing, and of course never scratch the top of her head, scratch under the chin.

She also told me to never drop treats, she must take it from our hands in order to get it.

So, I am feeling hopeful. It's not what I expected but we'll take it slow and see what happens.

Oh, yes, she hears perfectly. And no, we knew enough not to chase her. I got an A from the behaviorist on that one! 

I am so grateful to have a great breeder who is concerned enough to check on us and set this phone consult up!

P.S. yes, her tail is up....remember that picture of her with that perfect curled tail? She's not tucking it between her legs but it is sometimes dropped.


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

That was very nice of your breeder to call and see how Tessa is doing and to set up the phone consult.....she cares about Tessa just as much as you do!!!!!! Keep us posted how she is doing!!!!! You are doing a great job....it will soon pay off!!!!


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

That is great news!! Alot of what you were told was in the book I was reading, and although I am not a firm believer that there is only one solution ( cookie cutter), somethings can be used to make our dogs feel we are not a threat but really we are here as their protectors. Oreo is a wanna-be alpha because he thinks he has to be, but really his is shy and insecure. I am hoping just implementing some more consistency and time Oreo will settle.

I am happy Tessa is settling in. It is a huge change for them, coming home with us, I am sure time will help as well as finding classes that use positive training methods will build her confidence.
Hugs to you both. :grouphug:


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

I went through all of that. Gryff is now 5 months old and we've had him for two months. He still prefers me to the rest of the family, but he certainly has come out of his shell. Don't worry, it just takes time. I was frantic when I first got him thinking there was something wrong with him.


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## ivyagogo (Sep 11, 2007)

Here is a link to the thread I started when I first got Gryff. You might find it helpful:

http://havaneseforum.com/showthread.php?t=1814


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

I agree - coming to a new home is stressful .. It might be helpful for you to read Cesar Milans new book about speaking dog .. I like it much more than his first one .. 
In this book he shows a softer gentler side explains a little about his personal life in Mexico . he said he had difficulty relating to humans but he certainly understands dogs .. 
I I had this book instead of his first book I feel I might have progressed a little faster with Cosmo .. 
How kind of your breeder to follow up and to take the time to ensure that all is well .Also to find a behaviourist who is sensitive ..
I was told by the first vet the first day I got him to get out there and socialize my dog .. Finally I realize it was not working he was happy in the sherpa as he felt safe ..
I do not know if you ever saw the movie What about Bob .. it has been said here before on another thread - Baby steps ..
Sounds like you are on your way and in a couple of weeks you will find this all in the past .. 
The great news is it sounds like you have a lot of support ..


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## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

Wow, that was really great of your breeder. From the tone of your post, you sound a little more relaxed and at ease about it. Tomorrow is a new day and you will probably see changes.


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Ivy, I just went back and read your thread. Did you ever meet with the behaviorist? Good to know Gryff's doing better...he sure is a cutie!

I really related to a post by Paige saying we all read all these wonderful things about Havs and our expectations may be somewhat unrealistic. I know that happened to me. I researched this breed for so long (I started 2 years ago!) and now that we have issues I felt scared, like something was wrong with her. It helps so much knowing many have had problems and are fine now.

I LOVE 'What About Bob'!  Baby steps...

I did read Cesar's book, Cesar's Way, when I was in FL before getting Tessa. Not sure if that was his second book or not, but I don't think so; I'll look into it. I've also heard of The Loved Dog, I'll look into that too.

Good news! Since I posted last we've kept her on the sofa in her crate beside me. She wagged her tail at one point and was looking at us, playing with a toy so we took her out for a few minutes. We got down on the floor with her and she played with us and her toys and washed my DH's face with her tongue, lol! We saw some very puppy-like behavior! So cute and adorable. My DH and I made sure we stayed low and no eye contact and let her always come to us, we didn't call her to us. I decided to get up on the sofa and let my DH play with her alone. She didn't like that and came to me wanting up on the sofa. I placed her in the crate but left the door open. She gradually wiggled her way out and is lying beside me now. Sometimes she reaches over and lays her head on the keyboard 

I see hope....maybe the tincture of time is all that is needed. I was just so panicked because of all the wonderful things I had read: outgoing, loves all people, good with kids, etc, etc. I do know they are sensitive dogs and maybe that translates for some of them a longer adjustment period.

Thanks to all of you. This is such a caring community; I am so glad I found all of you! I do feel so much better now and a little more relaxed. Earlier today I was afraid we'd have to take her back and the thought of losing another dog so soon after the loss of our Sheltie just broke my heart. Despite it all she's already wormed her way into our hearts.

Hopefully tomorrow will be an even better day!!


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## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

Oh poor Jan, I just went through the whole thread and am SO GLAD to read that it's going much better already. You are right, tomorrow will be an even better day (and not only because it'll be only 4 days til Pablo :biggrin1.


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Jan..
Hopefully Tess is coming around! 

Not sure about hav pups and kids though.. I think it all depends on the kids really..
Beamer is always very leary around my little cousin Ana who is 6yrs old. She is loud and runs around so fast he reallly wants nothing to do with her.. lol.. 

Ryan


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## Olliesmom (Sep 29, 2006)

maryam....you do realize once you have your pablo home u won't have so much time for us....at least for awhile!!!! ound:ound:ound:


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## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

Catherine,
I WILL make time for y'all, you deserve it, that's for sure and I'm a very thankful person, you just wait and see!:focus:


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Jan,
Awesome! I am glad for you that your breeder got involved and the behaviorist was able to give you some exercises to help make her comfortable and come around. Keep us posted on how it goes. I am sure she will settle in and in a few weeks you will be asking us how to make her less social and more calm!

Amanda


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## Amy R. (Jul 1, 2007)

Yay, Jan, it's better already! I'm betting that in a few months, you will have forgotten all about this little adjustment period, and Tessa will be just one of the family.


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

Jan, I'm glad that things are improving already! You are a great mommy to try all of these things instead of giving up and sending her back! Good job! :clap2:


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## havanesebyha (Apr 25, 2007)

Awh poor baby! Jan I would give her some time - I bet she misses her sibblings and mom & dad and everything familiar and now she came to her new home carsick and now her shots. I would give her a few days before running to puppy class. When I took Kohana to her first class she clawed herself under the chairs and would not walk - just slid across the floor. I wouldn't take her to class like in the next couple of days. Like everyone has said though I sure wouldn't baby talk to her as they pick up on that. Like if Kohana would run and slide into the wall and yelp if I ran to her and picked her up like she was really hurt she would cry just like a little child. I would talk real upbeat to Tessa and see if that gets her to come around. Good luck and keep us posted. We are all here for you!


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## havanesebyha (Apr 25, 2007)

I posted this last post before reading it all through the end and already it sounds so much better. You have a wonderful and caring breeder and am glad she stepped in. I'll check back in tomorrow and I bet it is a better day!


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## Leeann (Feb 28, 2007)

Yea Jan, I was so happy to read your last post. Taking some time to bond will also give you more time to think about & research classes. Maybe next Friday you can go watch the class at Pet Smart and maybe join in on the next session. Keep us updated.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

I'm glad to hear your breeder is helping you!

Its only been a few days and you've been pretty busy with her! Driving back home and then to the vet for shots, which can leave them sore/tired and a bit grumpy. I know Gucci gets sore and will yelp if I touch her where the shots were given for a day or two...she also tends to sleep alot! So maybe the shots are just making her a bit 'off'?

These wonderful things you read about their love and nurturing don't happen overnight, but I think Tessa WILL build a very strong bond to you and your family. She just needs a few weeks of 'normalcy' and life around the house..the last 3-4 days for her have probably been anything but! lol, I know how a puppy can turn your house upside down and take over the house  , especially weekends with everyone home from school and work.

I don't think her hesitancy has anything to do with you, it is probably a 'fear' of a carride or something like that. Hang in there! She's cuddling with you and that's a terrific sign that she loves you!

Kara


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

> really related to a post by Paige saying we all read all these wonderful things about Havs and our expectations may be somewhat unrealistic. I know that happened to me. I researched this breed for so long (I started 2 years ago!) and now that we have issues I felt scared, like something was wrong with her. It helps so much knowing many have had problems and are fine now.


Jan, I am so glad to hear your news this morning!! Little Tessa has had a big change and I am amazed at your breeders support. That is a great thing.

I also have to say I agree with Paige's post. Jasper is really not very Hav like and is very independent - more like a cat-- But he is ver special and we wouldn't trade him for the world. But he certainly isn't the happy go lucky velcro dog we expected. But he has come around and is much more affectionate and there is a good trade off--- both my boys and even Jasper when he was alone could entertain himself and has never had any seperation anxiety. But there were many times I have thought something was wrong with him (check out the pet communicator post. LOL) and sometimes I wish I had more typical Hav's- but most of the time I truly believe we got the dogs we were meant to have.

good luck and be sure to keep us posted-- I love that your DH got a puppy kiss bath from Tessa. I bet he was melting.


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Glad to hear that things are going better for you all!!! It just takes time and patience...and of course alot of LOVE!!!!!! Look forward to all the improvements that will take place each day!!!!


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

We're still seeing much improvement. She played hard with us this morning after potty and breakfast. She's very affectionate when we're on the ground with her, giving lots of kisses, and she's still following us around whereever we move. But now if we turn toward her she doesn't run away and will let us crouch down with our eyes averted and reach our hand out to give her a scratch under the chin. She still looks a little hesitant when we do this but at least she's no longer cowering or running the other way! I think having a schedule and keeping her crated next to us when not eating, sleeping, or play time is helping too. Oh yes, and the hot dog treats don't hurt either, lol!

We'll see how the day goes today. Hopefully I just panicked yesterday way too early. I'd just never seen a puppy run the other way!


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## casperkeep (May 16, 2007)

Good to hear Jan!!!!! It is nice to see Tessa coming out of her shell!!!! She has a Great mommy!!!! Keep up the good work!!!!:biggrin1:


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## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

Oh Jan,

Good news! I am so happy for you. I think the little angel was missing her playmates. It could be she played so hard with her playmates she didn't adjust well with humans. Once she gets all the lovin' from you guys - she will be all over you.

Post us pictures when you can - we want to ooh and awe!


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## jimandjudy4321 (Aug 13, 2007)

We got Anniewhen she was 3 1/2 months old and was told she had beenc rate trained. We found out later, she spent most of her time in the crate and in spite of there being several other puppies in her group, she was not taken outside or socialized at all, just puppies. She was very shy when we first brought her home but getting down on the floor, her level playing with her, offering her toys, brought her out of the shyness within a couple days. She is now a bundle of joy and energy...hang in there, she will come around.


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## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

Jan, I'm so happy for you! Sounds like she's taking big steps over night already and I'm sure it'll be only a few more days til she's completely glued to you. You are a very great and loving puppy mommy, that's why I have no doubt everything will be fine!


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## DAJsMom (Oct 27, 2006)

So glad it's going better. It sounds like you have a caring breeder also. That's so great! I bet it won't be long before we're hearing all kinds of stories of Tessa's antics! Enjoy!


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## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

I'm so happy Tessa is starting to come around. It brought a big smile to my face. She just needed to sleep on it. Each day will get better and as she becomes more at ease, so will you. Enjoy your beautiful puppy.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

I agree with Michele...each passing day WILL get better.

One thing I've always done is to do something different everytime I approached Gucci, sometimes..I'll give her a doggie massage/scratch. Other times...I'll start playing games w/ her, OR treat her or pick her up.

She never knows what I'm up to!

I think she is SO smart that if I only picked her up or went to get her for grooming or baths...she'd run every time! ound: 

I'm so happy to hear its looking up!
Kara


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## kgiese (Apr 18, 2007)

Jan our Hav was socialized around the breeders grand kids. Since we both work, I have always left the TV tuned into the cartoon channel or Nickelodian so that Hank can hear childrens voices while we're gone. He's 3 years old and I still do this on a daily basis. If Tess was around children at the breeder's, you might try this too. Hank also still has his blanket and little bear that came with him. I didn't wash that blanket until it got so yucky I couldn't stand it. I wanted him to have the smells he was used to. --Good luck. It sounds as though you're doing all the right things.

Karen


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Is there a dog channel? I think that is what Tessa is most used to, lol! She does have a toy and blankie from the breeder with the smell of "home". I will have to leave for a couple hours tomorrow so I'll leave the TV on..great idea!

She made great strides today. We had a repairman here this morning. Tessa gave a few barks, then gradually went over to sniff. I slipped him a treat to give her and she took it from his hand. Later, a friend stopped by, again I gave her a treat to give to Tessa. By the time the friend left Tessa was in her arms! Yay!! She's still a little hesitant and shy but doing much better!

I've been trying to vary what I do when I reach down so she never knows when there might be a treat in my hand. The good news is that while she still hesitates and doesn't always come she's not running away. But occassionally she will back away. No cowering. And when she plays she's all over us 

She doesn't like to be alone though and will cry. She even cried for a few minutes when I left and my husband was here alone with her. Looks like I'll have to read up on separation anxiety next!


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## Suuske747 (May 9, 2007)

Hello Jan, I only just came across your thread....and I am pleased to read through the improvements and indeed I was reminded of Gryff.....
Possibly the change of smells that came with the change of environment cause stress too.....a dog's sense is so highly sensitive.......I heard once one puppy who came from a non-smoking home and went into a smoking home.....the pup would hide when they'd lit a cigarette....it couldn't stand the smell.....
When I have been out on the rare occassion I do, and come home smelling of cigarettes, Sierra will avoid me too.....
back on topic...hihi
I'm sure with all the advice you've been given here and patience you'll be able to make her feel more comfortable and she'll grow closer to you.....stay positive!!!
good luck!!!


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## JanB (Oct 26, 2007)

Thanks...we've had a regression and now dealing with lethargy too so we're not sure what to think or do! But thanks for the positive thoughts!


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