# Crying my eyes out - so disappointed



## bellasmom (Oct 20, 2010)

Hi all. I have been waiting 12 weeks for Bella and she was due to come home this Thursday. I just now got a call from the breeder that she just got back from the vet and Bella has a serious heart murmur. She doesn't want to send her.

I'm devastated. I have everything ready...her crate, her toys...took time off from work to be with her...

She offered me some other pups (male) but they just won't be the same. Or I can wait for another litter and who knows when that will be. I fell in love with her...:Cry:

It took me so long to find a reputable breeder who had puppies. I wouldn't know where to start again. Can anyone help?


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## shimpli (Mar 24, 2010)

I am so sorry this is happening. I can understand how you are feeling. It's good to know that the breeder is a responsible person, tell you the truth and won't send a puppy with a health problem. 
Why don't you try to think about one of the male puppies? I am sure you will fall in love really fast. These puppies are to die for and we love them all. Many people think that girls love you but males adore you so maybe this is what is for you... I hope you feel better soon.


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

I am so sorry to read of what happened. Your breeder sounds like one who truly has the best interests of her puppies at heart. I know it must be terribly disappointing, but hearing how this breeder is handling this situation - not wanting to send a sick puppy - like Teresita also suggested - once your sorrow and disappointment subsides a bit - possibly you may give one of the males consideration? They really are wonderful. Again, I am sorry this hasn't worked out the way you had planned.


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## luv3havs (Jul 27, 2007)

I'm so sorry too. The breeder is responsible not giving you a puppy with a serious heart murmur.
After the shock and disappointment lessen some, why not, as others have said, consider one of the males. I have 2 males and one female and the males are extremely loving.
I am sure the breeder will pick a special lil guy for you and you won't have to wait.. I wish you the best in your decision.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I have to agree with the others. Your breeder was acting responsibly, not sending Bella to you. I know you're devastated but I would give some thought to one of the males. There just might be another one that has your name imprinted on it's heart. Having two boys and a girl, if I were to get another, it would probably be a boy.

Sending cyber hugs in your direction.

I know you can't see it now, but your breeder may have saved you from a lot of expense and heartbreak down the road. Sending loving thoughts in Bella's direction too.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

Okay I understand, you have all the cute little girl clothes, bows, everything in pink and a boy just does not fit into your plans. Don't rush to a male just because he is available right now. You will always want that little girl. Either go ahead and wait longer to get the little girl from another litter, or make up your mind you will take the boy now and get a girl later..but don't rule out the girl completely since you have your heart set on a girl. I personally would stick with that breeder if she will be having another litter as you know she will be honest with you. And many dogs do have heart murmurs. Just know there is a reason for everything.


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## Buzzys Mom (Sep 28, 2010)

I don't have any experiences similar to yours, but I can tell you that my little guy is my baby- and he will let everyone around him know I am his mommy. He is really wonderful... and that's all I can offer you since I haven't had any girls. 
BUt I agree with everyone else- the breeder is doing the responsible thing. Consider a male, and if you really don't want one, then just wait. This little girl wasn't meant to be, but the right one will come along. 
Good luck!


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## Ellie NY (Aug 27, 2010)

I can only sympathize with how hard this must be for you. To have your heart set on Bella only to find out she's sick. The breeder is being very responsible in the matter by not sending you a dog that may become very sick over time. It's likely she's saving you from even greater heart break down the road.

I love my boy. Everyone who meets him falls in love. He's the sweetest most loving little guy. Maybe you can bring yourself to change your expectations - change Bella to Belamy (a play on the french "belle ami" for "best friend") and consider a boy? Best of luck with whatever you decide.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

I do like males, but some like to dress up the little girls and so, since you were all prepared and ready for the little girl, I really think a male would be a disappointment to you at this time, of course that is for you to decide. I think it is not an argument of which is best female or male but which you have/had your heart set on. JMHO


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## sashamom (Jan 12, 2009)

bellasmom said:


> Hi all. I have been waiting 12 weeks for Bella and she was due to come home this Thursday. I just now got a call from the breeder that she just got back from the vet and Bella has a serious heart murmur. She doesn't want to send her.
> 
> I'm devastated. I have everything ready...her crate, her toys...took time off from work to be with her...
> 
> ...


I think that knowing your breeder is so honest and has her puppies checked I would go with one of the males. From what I have read they are more loving than some of the females. You know us females are very independant! Good luck and sorry for your disappointment. Linda & Sasha


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I think right now you're going through a mourning period. I understand the feeling very well. It's the death of a dream . . . a projected life with Bella. But I truly believe things happen for a reason and there is another puppy out there, today or in the future, who will make you wonder how you ever could have lived without him/her.


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## morriscsps (Aug 17, 2010)

Have you met any of the male puppies when you visited Bella? Did any stick out in your mind? Could you go visit them and see if you bond with one of them? 

I have no suggestions except to go with your heart.


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Awwwwww....... Hugs to you. 

Don't make a decision yet.....take time to really think about what you want. I had made up my mind when I decided to get a Hav.....I told my dh we will probably end up getting two....and he probably thought I had lost my mind! 

I love my boys! They are very loving. As the saying goes..... "Boys fall in love with you."


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

I am so sorry. I can understand how disappointed you are, but kudos to your breeder for her honesty and the decision not to send you the puppy. It appears that you had your heart set on a little girl and while little boys are wonderful, they may not be what you want and therefore a disappointment. Don't rush to get one just because they are available. You are paying a whole lot of money for your new family member who will be with you for the next 12 to 15 years. It should be exactly what you want. I think you need to take your time and decide if you want to wait for another girl and take your time or get one of the available puppies.


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## boo2352 (Dec 18, 2006)

I know how disappointed you must be. The same thing happened to me years ago with a golden puppy. I did take another puppy who ended up being the best dog ever. It was a hard decision, and you have to decide for yourself what's best for you.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

I'm so sorry this happened - I know it was a huge blow after a long wait for "your" puppy. Since I've been on the forum I have heard wonderful things about the "boys". I have a girl and she is so aloof that sometimes I wonder if I should have chosen a boy! I guess you need to go with your heart on this matter.:hug:


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

I know what you are going through. I was once promised a pup and then the breeder changed her mind! I was broken hearted. It worked out, because I got Fred and he is awesome. The other pup turned out being tiny as an adult, and that would have been a problem. I like my boys on the larger size.

Think of this as a blessing in disguise. I have 1 girl and 2 boys. I can tell you, the boys are much more loving, sweeter, and will adore you. The girls can be a bit bitchy and aloof. Don't get me wrong, my Bella is a sweet heart and everyone loves her. If I never got a boy, I would not notice the difference. Just follow your heart. 

BUT.....I love the Havanese boys and will only get boys in the future. Go for the boy!!! YEAH! HAHA!


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## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

Sorry to read this has happened to you. I am sure you are very disappointed,however I give kudos to your breeder for being forthright with you. This has truly saved you in heartbreak and finances in the future. Better to be a little broken hearted now then a whole lot later with empty pockets besides.

Take your time deciding what your next move will be with a male or waiting for a another litter--I know people who have only males and prefer them,so let the health and personality be the deciding factor....not the sex of the pup.I'm sure your breeder can help find the perfect personality for you.


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## whimsy (Apr 3, 2010)

I'm so sorry hon.Take a few days to think it over. Do what is best for you.


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## andra (Aug 23, 2010)

I am so deeply sorry for this and can understand your heartbreak. I have no practical advice or suggestions except that you chose well in terms of finding a breeder and I think, with time, you will figure out your next steps. You will be in my heart and thoughts because I can really understand your heartbreak.

andra


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## kelrobin (Jan 21, 2008)

I had my mind set on a girl and then when I got to the breeder's, I saw Jackson and that was that. Although he is not a lap dog, he is the most loving and sweet personality ever. My male lab was also a much better pet that his mom who was bullheaded and difficult at times.

I am curious about a heart murmur and what problem that could cause in the future. Will the breeder keep her? I know in people heart murmurs are not a big deal usually. She obviously knows it must be something that could cause problems later on. I agree you need to start out healthy, but I am sorry for your disappointment. I hope you can get a healthy puppy soon. <<<Hugs>>>


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

I'm sorry too to hear about your disappointment...you will find the right puppy for you. Take your time.


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## butterscoth28 (Jul 15, 2010)

I am so sorry and can only imagine what it must feel like . Girls are great but i'm sure boys have there charm too. If your mind is set on a girl the time well come and I KNOW you'll get the right pup for you. Sending ((((((((((hugs))))))))))) to you and Bella.


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## The Laughing Magpie (Aug 20, 2009)

Hugs, my Shih Tzu Poohkey passed away in May from MVD he was a rescue and I knew he had it from his neuter (he almost died and any operation after that could only be to save his life). Sometimes these things don't affect them but the one thing they do silently is damage. Dogs are not people vets treat the symptoms in dogs. Some heart problems in dogs can be treated it is expensive it just depends on what is causing murmur. The breeder is being responsible in pulling the dog. The others are right take your time mourm this loss. There is another wonderful Hav out there. You know if you did take one of the boys the breeder will steer you to the best one. I still miss my guy. Hugs.


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## rokipiki (Oct 15, 2010)

i also wanted a girl hav, but then when puppies were born there was one girl (breeder kept her in his kennel) and three boys. i tried to persuade hin to give me the girl, but he said that one boy is perfect for me. He sent me photos of the little Roki. The instant I saw the picture I fell in love with him. Hav boys are usually more gentle and easygoing then hav girls. Roki turned to be the best puppy from his litter. Now he is so sweet, cuddly, gives kisses all the time... So, look at those boys! Maybe one of them is desperately waiting for you to pick him and take him home with you!
Don't be sad
Many hugs from Marina
mani kisses and noselicks from Roki


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## jacqui (Aug 7, 2007)

Very disappointing I am sure. But you will look back on this day with gratitude. Something even better is coming your way. Just let it happen.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

I am so sorry this happened, but I certainly understand the breeder's hesitation to send you an ill dog.

I'm probably the only one who thinks if you had your heart set on a girl, just wait for a girl, I didn't want a male either, and preferred to skip the whole marking thing and boy woody thing (ack!), and I am glad I did, Gucci is very nurturing..true to the female traits in all beings, sort of motherly in some ways if I am sick or feeling badly, (but, if I had a destructive girl like Ruby, I might reconsider,  j/k-Geri) I am just sorry this happened to you, but after you give this some more thought, your heart will tell you what to do, whether that be waiting or picking a lil' guy to love.

The Life that happens isn't always the life we plan for, we just have to roll with it.

:grouphug:
Hugs~
Kara


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## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

Thumper said:


> I didn't want a male either, and preferred to skip the whole marking thing and boy woody thing (ack!), .
> Kara


I have had almost all male dogs in my lifetime and not ONE....not a single one marked and showed his woody. This is a big misconception and is not accurate.

Both my boys now (Vinnie and Quincy) are probably less messy then a girl. Neither have shown their penis's and both still squat to pee. Many girls mark Kara.

The key to any success is in training. Housebreak your puppy and have it spayed or neutered.


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## Ellie NY (Aug 27, 2010)

Julie said:


> I have had almost all male dogs in my lifetime and not ONE....not a single one marked and showed his woody. This is a big misconception and is not accurate.
> 
> Both my boys now (Vinnie and Quincy) are probably less messy then a girl. Neither have shown their penis's and both still squat to pee. Many girls mark Kara.
> 
> The key to any success is in training. Housebreak your puppy and have it spayed or neutered.


I made an appointment to neuter Eli about 2 weeks ago. It's tomorrow and it couldn't come fast enough! This weekend he had "relations" with his favorite stuffed animal and, boy, I didn't know small dogs could have such disproportionately large penises. He woke up this morning and turned over for a belly rub and - yep - there was a bit peaking out which led me to wonder what exactly he had been doing in his crate while I was getting ready in the morning. ound: He's also started marking, I think. The other day he withheld urine and peed twice about 100 feet apart. Guess that solves some of the mystery as to why he's been using my son's rug of late. Maybe your boys got neutured before they began to show signs of sexual maturity?

Whether a male dog ever shows his penis or not, I don't think that should ever be _the_ determining factor for which sex to select. All of my friends and family who have dogs have females. They have convinced one another that females are the best type of dog (and I'm definitely not saying they are not). Even though they tried and tried to convince me to get a female I walk my own path. I could not be happier with the temperment and sweet personality of my dog. He's definitely more affectionate and less stand-offish than any female I've observed in my circle of family and friends.

At the end of the day, I think gender is much less important than personality. What good is it to have the "right" gender but wrong personality for you?


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Ellie NY;361442
At the end of the day said:


> I totally agree about the personality. I don't want to turn this into a male/female debate, but when I suggested she perhaps give one of the breeder's males consideration after the shock and disappointment subside, it was because it sounds like she found a very trustworthy breeder and that is important too.
> 
> Now, how I felt about males before acquiring Augie: pretty much how Kara feels. I wanted a girl, no if's, and's or but's. When we visited the breeder, it was to select a girl. She had a black and white parti female that I wanted. Held her but also made the mistake of holding the little black/tan male with the eyebrows. He snuggled in. The girl did nothing. But, still wanting a girl, I debated a bit, finally deciding on my Augie (and haven't looked back). The breeder told me that, after getting home and I changed my mind, to call her. Augie has not lifted his leg once, no 'woodies', no marking and he was neutered at 17 months of age. When he was a puppy, he did try to hump our legs a couple of times, but we distracted him from that and he never did it for more than a period of about a week or two. Girls can hump too. I wouldn't trade this boy for a girl for anything. And when we get another, I would like another boy.


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## KSC (Aug 6, 2009)

Julie said:


> I have had almost all male dogs in my lifetime and not ONE....not a single one marked and showed his woody. This is a big misconception and is not accurate.
> 
> Both my boys now (Vinnie and Quincy) are probably less messy then a girl. Neither have shown their penis's and both still squat to pee. Many girls mark Kara.
> 
> The key to any success is in training. Housebreak your puppy and have it spayed or neutered.


Me too on that - Kipling has never done the marking or other thing...he's lovely.

Linda also agree wholeheartedy with your post - there are pro's and con's to both boys and girls and even more importantly to individual dogs - it's very inaccurate to generalize by gender - I too would be inclined to give the other puppy's a look given the action the breeder took here.


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## Gizmo'sMom (Jul 9, 2010)

I am sorry this happened to you. 

I would think about the boy, obviously if you REALLY wanted a girl then I would wait. In my experience I really wanted a boy but ended up with the sweetest little girl. I wouldn't trade her for anything. It's more the personality then the sex of them. I am sure before you know it you will have the sweetest little boy or girl running around


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## The Fussy Puppy Gang (May 21, 2007)

I know how upsetting it is to not get the pup you had your heart set on, but the breeder is doing the right thing by holding on to her. I'm so sorry you have to go through this disappointment. 

I also believe that everything happens for a reason. Was your heart set on a girl (not just Bella), or are you open to a male? It's not a decision you should make in the midst of emotional turmoil. Give yourself time to re-set and see what feels right. The breeder should understand. 

My fingers are crossed that you will find a happy solution soon.


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## SOPHIES-MOM (Oct 4, 2010)

My daughter wanted a female wheaten terrier, but the breeder talked her into a boy. Tucker is the sweetest, funniest, most loving dog. I actually wanted a boy when I got Sophie, but the boys were all white. I've had so many white dogs and wanted something different. I've always had girls, but think I would like a boy when Sophie is older. For the record, girls hump too!


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

You would never know my boys are boys. They don't hump, mark inside, or show their red rockets
My Bella marks outside and she's a girl!


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## kelrobin (Jan 21, 2008)

I have to chime in again. I don't know why we get our minds set on boys or girls other then for breeding purposes, even though I have done it too. In some breeds it might make a difference in size, but otherwise, I do think it's all personality. My female chocolate lab actually was the largest in her litter! 

Jackson has never marked inside or in our yard, and he stretches out to pee . . . it's very cute. He does do little "p-mails" when we walk if I allow him to sniff for very long. He has only shown the red rocket twice, and that was not until he was two years of age around my SIL's dachshund (whom I am convinced has retained some kind of ovarian tissue even though she is spayed because she is the only one he has ever shown attraction to.) And there are also tons of cute boy doggie clothes . . . I have a little collection I'm embarrassed to admit. Thank goodness I can use the excuse that Jackson is a therapy dog and needs them to entertain!


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## cjsud (Oct 26, 2008)

Shh don't tell anyone but Mr Hobbes doesn't know how to raise his leg. Maybe thats cause he knew I wanted a girl.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

You are all lucky, Sir Winston met Cicero and Abbie and was absolutely not interested in either of them. But I took him to my daughter's house in NC and he was MOST interested in her neutered black great dane!!! Go Figure...but it was miserable. Someone in rescue told me that she had a male who was only attracted to one dog in his whole world...and she could never figure out why or what the attraction was. I surely hope that is the case and it is only the one dog, but unfortunately it made the visit miserable. But I do know females who do the same thing, so I am not sure what the answer is..I love the little boys who do NOT lift their legs..wish you could train them!


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

Thumper said:


> I'm probably the only one who thinks if you had your heart set on a girl, just wait for a girl


Nope, you are not the only one. I think she should wait for the girl as well and not settle for the boy if it's not what she wants.

It's funny, but every time I get a dog I plan on a girl and always walk away with a boy. lol


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Funny, I did the same thing twice. I wanted a girl and fell in love . . . first with Milo then with Bailey and then one day, there she was, little Ms. Tuesday. I love them all.


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## Becky Chittenden (Feb 4, 2009)

I haven't read all the posts, just the first and last pages. Since the breeder seems to be a responsible one, I'd be put back on the "list" for another litter. I was on a list for a year and a half for a show female. The breeder hadn't had one (just males) but someone she'd sold a show male to and had a show female of the same line had a litter with a show female and she directed me to her. We went to see her and bought SOX who finished her CH in no time. I, personally like males and have here the three male puppies from my last litter because I didn't feel anyone who called or emailed was the right home. I'm not sorry about this because they're delightful. Do what you think is best.


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## LilyMyLove (Jul 11, 2009)

juliav said:


> Nope, you are not the only one. I think she should wait for the girl as well and not settle for the boy if it's not what she wants.
> 
> It's funny, but every time I get a dog I plan on a girl and always walk away with a boy. lol


I agree with Kara and Julia. If you really had your heart set on a girl don't settle. You will have this dog for 10-15 years its not a sweater that can be returned. I can see why some people would prefer one over the other. I always wanted a sweet little girl and had seen the "lipsticking" thing that some male dogs do, that wasnt so much an issue for me. I really didnt like the thought of rubbing their belly and having a penie sticking out in the middle the way it is on small dogs! Just a personal preferance. Now that I have my gal, I would be open to a boy if I ever get another. She is quite afffectionate and sweet and I love to dress her up with bows and sweet little dresses.

She does mark outdoors and has a little stuffed lamb she likes to hump some nights (usually around 10pmound so those issues can't be completely avoided by choosing one sex over another. I just liked the idea of having a little girl and she is my constant companion so I am so happy to have found her. I feel like it is fate that she ended up with me and I her. So try to see this hard situation as just a bump in the road on the way to finding your dream dog! Or if you can, take a boy now and then a girl in the next litter!


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## LuckyOne (Sep 3, 2009)

I am so sorry this happened to you. I have two boys and they just adore the entire family. We were thinking of getting a little girl and I heard more than once, that boys are more loving than the females. Not sure if it's true but I just adore my boys. Good luck and let us know what you decide.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

juliav said:


> Nope, you are not the only one. I think she should wait for the girl as well and not settle for the boy if it's not what she wants.
> 
> It's funny, but every time I get a dog I plan on a girl and always walk away with a boy. lol


And I told her to wait for a girl, I think that is what her heart is set on and what she was ready for!!! As sweet as a little boy can be, if you are wanting a girl, you won't be happy and that is no good for the dog or person.
I hate to say this but everytime I talk with someone about getting a puppy and say I want a girl, they always come back and say, we have a male. My last 5 dogs have been male and I love them, but thought I might make my next one a female. I think they are equally sweet.


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## TrishK (Nov 29, 2010)

I also think that you have to follow your heart or you may always wonder what if.


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## IslandLady (Nov 7, 2010)

Dear Bella's Mom,

I'm saying a little prayer that everything works out well for you, in time.


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## rokipiki (Oct 15, 2010)

I have read posts about humping, showing red rocket ect. First - humping is not sexual behaviour, but dog's way of showing his dominace over something or someone. Roki homps his soft bed and that's it. He started to lift his leg to pee when he was exactly five months old. he loves marking his territory that way - on the street and in the park only. But when he uses pee pad at home he pees like girl. In my country (Croatia) and in most european countries you get intact dog from breeder and you and only you decide whether you are going to keep him/her intact, od spay/neuter them. All vets are telling us that dogs are going to be healthier after the procedure, but nobody is talking about serious helath problems thet the lack of sexual hormones may cause. My neighbour has 7 years old spayed bichon frise. Last two years nubmer of vets are trying to figure out what's wrong with that dog. Month ago my vet diagnosed that she is suffering from Cushing desease and told us that hormonal imbalance cused by lack of ovaries is the main cause of this bad disease - treatment is very, very expensive. He told us that she will probably die during next 18 months and taht her quality of life will decline. 
Do you know the story when dogs were talking among them how do they imagine doggie heavens. Ona said that it must be bones and treats everywhere, the other said that he hopes that there are no collars and leashes in heaven, third said that he imagines bowls fo most delicious meat... one dog was silent, so other asked him to tell ho he imagines heaven. he said shyly: "When I go there, can I have my balls back?"


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## Gizmo'sMom (Jul 9, 2010)

rokipiki said:


> First - humping is not sexual behaviour, but dog's way of showing his dominace over something or someone.


LOL Gizmo likes to prove she is more dominant then santa


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## bellasmom (Oct 20, 2010)

Thanks SO much for all of your thoughtful replies. I have an update and will start a new thread to keep this one from getting any longer. (I'm a tease, I know ) - See Crying my eyes out UPDATE


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## SOPHIES-MOM (Oct 4, 2010)

Rokipiki, I had a dog with cushings and it is definitely not caused by spay and neutering. There is a hormonal balance problem, but not sex hormones. It's either pituitary based or an adrenal tumor. If your vet told you it's from spaying, I'd get another vet. I do think spaying and neutering is safe and eliminates many types of tumors.


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## TrishK (Nov 29, 2010)

I agree with Sophie's mom. I don't know specifically about Cushing's in dogs, but in humans it is what Sophie's mom said, increased cortisol either from adrenal malfunction or pituitary tumour. 
But here's something I wonder...does spaying a dog throw her into surgical menopause just like it would to us human females if we were to have our ovaries removed. I'm assuming of course that when a dog is spayed she has an oophorectomy (ovary removal) and not just the uterus removed.


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## nancyf (Nov 6, 2007)

bellasmom said:


> Hi all. I have been waiting 12 weeks for Bella and she was due to come home this Thursday. I just now got a call from the breeder that she just got back from the vet and Bella has a serious heart murmur. She doesn't want to send her.
> 
> I'm devastated. I have everything ready...her crate, her toys...took time off from work to be with her...
> 
> ...


After a long search we found a breeder and lined up a male puppy from a litter due in several weeks. She called to say the puppies were born--six of them and all of them female! She gave us various options but we decided to get one of those six female puppies. It was almost destiny! We got our Bella 3.5 years ago and she has been adorable. Both of us are glad she is ours.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

I think Nancy, you had an open mind, which is what it takes. If you were set on a female and especially one from a litter already arrived, had photos and a name chosen then find something is wrong with her, you might not be so open minded. Taking the female anyway is not a wise decision when you have been told something is wrong, but this happened to me, and to this day I email the breeder asking about her. She is not well but improving and fortunately her breeder (as most) has kept her and is giving her state of the art treatment and state of the art love. She only has two other dogs, so my little "lost" female is probably much better off where she is, my point is I still wonder how she is doing. This breeder did not have another to offer me and she will not be breeding this line again. If you are set on having a female, wait, or get one from another breeder.
Personally Sir Winston's belly rubs are probably more accurately called "Chest Rubs"..but he loves them just the same. Last night he hopped down from the back of the sofa, ran into his crate and got his very first toy, and jumped back up on the back of the sofa behind my head, it was very sweet and touching. He is the little rescue I got instead of the female I was wanting...so things do work out, as long as you remain open!!


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I came *very* close to getting a female in November of 2006. I had already fallen in love with this little girl and could see my life with her. This was long before I found this place and I didn't know enough about what to look for in a breeder. After doing some research on my own, I started asking a few questions of the breeder and was so turned off by the attitude and answers I got that I, very reluctantly walked away from my little girl.

That following spring I found the forum. So devastated by my feeling of loss and fear of doing it wrong, I lurked for awhile and then, with the help of many here, I found my Milo. I had never even considered a boy. Of my last six dogs, five were female. I loved them. The day I saw Milo staring back at me from the computer, I knew he was to be mine. All thoughts of a girl flew out the window.

When I decided to get Milo a little friend I knew it would be a girl. Then I saw Bailey and there was no question he was the one. I never, for one moment regretted my decision.

I really thought I was done till I saw Ruby and my heart went pitter patter. She was just too cute. My point being, it's the specific animal, at least in my world, that speaks to your heart and I would advise anyone to be open to all of them. They're all wonderful . . . even if some of them (with red hair) are a little nuts.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

Hey...watch it Geri, there are so many people waiting in the wings to take that little redhead off your hands!!!! But I do hear she is a handful!!! Hugs,


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## Dana N (Jan 27, 2011)

I am so sorry for your disappointment. It's so hard when you're all set for the baby and then the baby doesn't come. I wonder how you are doing now?

I will pose my question here because so many seem to know the difference between the boys and girls. I too have wanted a girl but the girl I wanted was sold in the moment of my careful thinking! Even that was a disappointment; I cant imagine having the bed all ready, etc. 

My question about a boy, since you all say they have great personalities, is about the grooming. I like the long fluffy coat and I wonder about hygiene/smell of the boy's coat. Is it still possible to keep a little boy clean and in full coat? I have a little girl and know what I'm getting into with that coat. Thanks so much. Dana


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Absolutely!!!! Kodi isn't the LEAST bit smelly. I've never heard of a male Hav who smells any different than a female Hav.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Neither of my boys smell the slightest bit different than Ruby. None of them smell -- unless they've been rolling in the yard, then they smell like dirt.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

I'm pretty sure Bellasmom did get another puppy but I can't remember the details. Maybe she will jump in here and update the thread. I think maybe she had started another thread about it.


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Dana, I have no idea of how the girls smell - no experience with them. Before we got Augie, I too wanted a girl. When we visited the breeder, however, this little black/tan boy with eyebrows is the one I was drawn to. Not once have I been sorry for my choice. He is not stinky at all aside from the one yeast infection he had in his ears when he was probably 4 months old or so. I love burying my face in his coat - he is in full coat - he never stinks, even when he goes 4-5 weeks between baths. If he ever gets any 'cling-ons' (which is seldom and he doesn't even have a 'sanitary cut'), I make sure to clean his fanny. He always cleans himself after going out to pee.


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

Dana, I'm thinking that you are referring to the boys' anatomical part spraying urine all over their tummy? If that is what you are asking... most of us who aren't showing in the ring give the males a sanitary cut around the area of stomach that might catch the spray, leaving a "candlewick" to direct the flow. That seems to take care of any potential problem. I've heard more of the girls having it run down their leg and causing stains/odor.


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Jack had a problem with his belly getting wet with urine for the first 3 months or so. I started trimming the little belly area and letting the wick become a little longer. And, as Jack matured, he started cleaning himself down there and with the every 7-10 day bathing, he was pretty clean. 

With neutering, lots of boys will just squat to pee. When I was a child we had boy dogs, back then, we were not well educated about neutering back then. 

Both of my boys are neutered and this is the first time I have had boy dogs that did not constantly clean themselves with rockets blaring. :redface:


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

pjewel said:


> Neither of my boys smell the slightest bit different than Ruby. None of them smell -- unless they've been rolling in the yard, then they smell like dirt.


Or if they roll in something worse...:biggrin1:


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## dbeech (Jun 16, 2009)

The only smelly boys at my house are my two sons.


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## Dana N (Jan 27, 2011)

Well, those comments make me feel a lot better. I had to ask because I want that long, fluffy coat. I just thought that the pee might go forward into his fur coat rather than dropping down and away from the coat. So thanks getting that out in the open, ha ha.

Dana


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## Becky Chittenden (Feb 4, 2009)

Right now, one of my "babies" smells a little. He learned to raise his leg last weekend and his aim isn't very good. He will get better with practice. Now, he just showing everybody his new trick. The other "baby" hasn't started this yet, but he has always been the slowest in the litter on development. My adult dogs don't smell.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

dbeech said:


> The only smelly boys at my house are my two sons.


Oh yeah, THOSE... don't remind me!:faint:


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

I love the way Henry smelled as a puppy.
I could smell him even when he wasn't with me.

(I still love the way he smells!) :biggrin1:


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## bellasmom (Oct 20, 2010)

Hi Dana. Yes, it was so heartbreaking... but the good news is that I got a different female havanese puppy about 4 weeks ago (she was just over 8 weeks). Same breeder, just a different Dam (same sire, busy boy).:biggrin1:

My reasons for wanting a girl were different, though. Nothing to do with the peeing or anything like that. I just wanted a little girl for my daughter and felt in my heart a female would be right for our family. No basis for that, I've even heard that boy puppies can be bigger mushes than girls. It's not even smart to choose a pup on the basis of its sex, I'm sure, but in my case the breeder was the same and all other factors were basically the same so I chose the girl!

Bella is 12 weeks now and not without her challenges, but I wouldn't trade her for anything.

Good luck with getting the newest member of your family, follow your heart and you can't go wrong!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

I'm SO glad to hear you ended up with a healthy adorable pup of your own! We want more pictures!!!


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