# I want to tell my tale so bad!



## Luciledodd

Hello, I still can't see well and had a really bad day yesterday and pain in places that I didn't know I had, so can't post really. But I want to thank each and every one of you for your prayers. The Dr told my husband that I might not make it; but I did! So many complications. I haven't even felt like holding Rosie and she knows it. She is on the bed with me most of the time and asks Sherron for her other needs. I am just assuming that I still have chickens, and Josie Wales.

Intensive care is a blur to me; but I do know that I was delirous the whole time and sedated most of it as I was on a ventilator. But I could hear (remember that if you ever have a loved one in that shape). I thought that the drs were trying to kill me and then it became my husband and children. Rosie was with me and together we were trying to figure out which child had the most motive. When they finally let me become conscious, I said awful things to my children--told them that it wouldn't do any good to kill me because I was disinheiriting them (like I am wealthy or something). Luckily the drs had told everyone not to argue with me--that paranoia and delerrium (sp) were normal. My mind is still foggy as I am still taking pretty strong pain meds along with lots of other meds. I have lost around 30 lbs of fluid so far and am still so swollen. Well that is all folks. It just hit me, I have to lay back down. more later.


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## LuvCicero

Lucile, it is good to see you post. I am so sorry this has been such a hard time for you, but it will get better and I know you will feel great after healing. Try not to worry about anything and just rest and take your meds. I'm sure your energy is at '0' now but will pray it improves each day. We're here...and will wait for you to be able to post more later. "Take care of yourself, please."


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## gelbergirl

*glad to know Rosie is taking care and your road continues toward health.*


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## motherslittlehelper

*Good Morning, Lucile! (Well, it is still morning in Washington State! ) I am so sorry that you are not gaining strength as fast as you would like! Please rest, listen to your family and don't push so hard that you have setbacks. We are ALL pulling for you!  Glad Rosie is there, on your bed, watching over you. She obviously senses what you can handle right now.

Thinking of you often,
Linda*


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## whimsy

I feel so bad.....you have been through hell and back. I hope that you will continue to get improve each day.


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## The Laughing Magpie

Lucile, I spent almost four months when my late DH had heart surgery on the heart ICU often holding hands of others whose doctors did not explain anything. That was in 1986 he had many problems. Having done risk management, I was very comfortable with the hospital set up and what happens (I still worried but, I had an understanding of the process). Warning! No belly laughing...what I am going to share is funny and hopefully let you know you are not alone. These things bring out the best and the worst in all of us.

My DH did many things...and you just have to laugh....the only time I got upset is about three months into our 'adventure' a nurse broke down all over me...because I always smile and how could I smile when things were so bad. Gee what else could I do.

A small view of DH's misconduct (hehehe):
One morning I was called to the hospital early 5am and DH was restrained and setting up in bed and he told me that I need to get out of Saudi right away. He claimed they had cut off his hands and looked down at his restrained arms as if there were no hands.

A few hours latter he screamed at his roommate and made him cry. Because he claimed he heard us 'doing' it all morning when the nurse tried to calm him he yelled "He screwed (not the word he used) my wife! I'm going to kill him." They had to move his room.

Two days latter his brother had come from India we went in to his room and he was not restrained, I went up to him and he slapped me across the face, it caught me off guard and was hard for someone so week. The reason? He said now I was sleeping with his brother. He was not mad at his brother. He wanted out of the Middle East.

Remember the moaning that you hear in the hospital? Usually this is from suctioning for the breathing machines (hope you don't remember it) any way he told me he was in a sex club and those were the sounds of pleasure!!!!

Lucile, You were on some very powerful drugs. We are all human. I am sure your children are just happy you are home. Also my DH had headaches and could not read for about 1 month after he came home. 

Just keep getting stronger. Hugs


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## Kathie

Lucile, it is so good to hear from you again! You've got lots of time to tell us about your experience so just take your time. I'm so glad Rosie is patiently beside you. Our little sweeties seem to know when we're not up to par and go easy on us! Please rest and take it easy.


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## krandall

Lucile, it's so nice to hear from you, but don't over-do it! Let little Rosie and your daughter take care of you! (and Josie, if she shows up, but being a cat, it will probably be when SHE wants something!)

The worst is over, and I'm sure you'll be a little better every day from this point on. There's plenty of time to tell us the whole story later. You know we'll be waiting!:hug:


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## pjewel

*I'm so happy to hear from you, even though your story is heart wrenching. One day, when this is far behind you, perhaps you can write a book about it so others who have to face it in the future will know they're not crazy when they too get paranoid. Sending love and healing.*


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## HavaneseSoon

It is nice to have you back Lucille! You will get stronger each day while you are home and can actually get some rest!

Stay positive and stay strong. Eat! Move around, but, don't over do it.


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## davetgabby

You'll be back to normal soon ,you old fart.


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## Ninja

I really hope you start to feel better soon!! Take it easy and don't over do things :hug:


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## Laurief

Lucille, I am so glad that you posted! I am sorry that you are feeling bad about what happened but I am sure everyone understands! It is so great that you are able to post to us! I am sure that Rosie will be taking good care of you. EAch day you will feel stronger and stronger! I will keep my prayers going for a quick and pain free recovery for you!!


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## Thumper

Lucille...HUGS! :grouphug:


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## luv3havs

Lucile,

I wish I could write this larger, but I don't know how! LOL Hope you can read this!

Anyway, I am sending continued prayers and good wishes your way.

Sorry you have had such a hard time post-surgery.
This will all be a bad memory in a few months.

Robbie, that was a funny story! Good that you could smile and keep your sense of humor.


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## irnfit

Lucille, you sound better already! Those are some powerful drugs they give you. When my dad had his open heart surgery, he was living in Arizona. He told everyone who would listen a story about how he was abducted by Indians and they were after my Mom next.


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## Kathie

luv2havs said:


> I wish I could write this larger, but I don't know how! LOL Hope you can read this!


Go to advanced reply and there will be a place to choose the font and size of your print. I just figured it out myself yesterday!!!


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## motherslittlehelper

*Lucile - Just want to let you know that we're still thinking of you and sending healing wishes your way - in case you or your daughter are 'checking in' occasionally. I hope you are continuing to get stronger (and ornery!! Ha  )
Linda and Augie*


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## pjewel

*Lucile, I was sitting here last night, thinking of you. I know this recovery stage is hard and you may feel sometimes as if it's one step forward, two steps back, but there will come a day when it gets better. We're all waiting here, praying for you. Sending love and hugs.*


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## mellowbo

Lucile, I've been there only it was with peritonitis and 2 abdominal surgery's in 5 days. I know what you are going through and this part of it is so hard! It takes a long time to get some strength back again, but you will. Just remember, baby steps and rest. Prayers continue to be sent up for you!


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## krandall

Kodi and I are thinking of you too, Lucile! Keep getting better!


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## clare

angel:Hope things are progressing well, and you are well on the road to recovery.


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## Rita Nelson

Continuing to pray for a quicker than normal recovery. Hoping this week is much better than last. We're all rooting for you and trusting you'll be on the forum soon regaling us with the many tales of Rosie and Josie Wales.


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## Pipersmom

Thinking of you Lucile and hoping you can continue to feel better each day.


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## Becky Chittenden

SO GLAD TO SEE YOU POST. I WAS THINKING OF YOU EARLIER TODAY. I'M STILL PRAYING FOR YOU AND YOU KNOW OTHERS ARE TOO.


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## Kathie

Hi, Lucile! Hope your strength is beginning to return. Take it easy and take your time - we will all be here when you get back. Can't wait to hear about the tales of Rosie and Josie Wales! You're still in my prayers everyday.


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## The Laughing Magpie

Lucile, We are all missing you!!!!! Hope your moving around some and resting. You know as we get older when they give us anesthesia it takes about a month to work out of the body, it really kicks one on their arse. Then you ad all the improvments that were made, it just takes awhile to see a benefit. I hope you are living everyday with your sense of humor aiding you in your recovery.


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## Luciledodd

I read the posts, don't feet like typing back. Up in the middle of the night to let my hubby sleep. Seems I take two back for every one forward. I am so tired and hurt so bad. But at least once a day, Rosie and Josie Wales will make me laugh. Other dogs can go forever and never make you laugh. It seems they just come up with things to make me laugh. Poor Rosie hasn't been really brushed since before my surgery; but she doesn't look to bad. Thank goodness for the pee pads and a littler box. Shetton wipes tthem with the steriliing wipesooooops wrong keys good bye for now.


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## krandall

GREAT to hear from you, Lucile, but don't feel like you have to (other than giving us an occasional "I'm hangin' in there" note so that we know you're OK!) We know how hard your recovery must be, and we sure don't want to put ANY pressure on you!

Glad to hear your two little girls are keeping you amused, and Rosie is, I'm sure, adorable, brushed or unbrushed!


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## gelbergirl

_*Keeping You In Our Thoughts . . . *_


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

Lucile, I wish I lived closer, I would get one of your chickens and come for a visit! So good to hear from you! REST, REST, Rest...that is most important!:drum::cheer2::grouphug:


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## Mom2Izzo

I have no idea what has happened but I just wanted to say that I am glad you are still with us and on the road to recovery. REST and RECOVER b/c we need you here!! prayers going up for you!


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## motherslittlehelper

*Lucile, it is good to hear that you read the posts. We don't expect a reply - we just want you to know we are still here and still thinking of you and pulling for you. I do see your name logged in occasionally so know, or assume, that you are 'checking in'. I am sorry to hear that you are still in so much pain and having setbacks, but hopefully you are gaining ground on your road to recovery. It just might not seem like it to you, as I am sure you are usually a very busy woman. Glad you have Rosie and Josie Wales there to provide some comic relief.  I'll bet now you are REALLY glad you took Rosie in for that haircut, yes?

Linda and Augie*


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## Thumper

Laughter is the best medicine :grouphug: Sending more healing hugs your way.

I bet she's loving not having to get brushed out, I know Gucci would consider that a treat in itself

Kara


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## irnfit

HI LUCILLE!!!! Don't get impatient. I know when I had my accident, what helped me was listening to a breathing meditation tape. It helped me to relax and get the rest I needed. I was in bed for 3 months and in physical therapy for 9 mos after that, so I understand a little how you feel.


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## Miss Paige

Lucile-Just so glad to see your posting-as the others have said-take all the time in the world to get better-tender hugs are being sent your way.

And don't worry your children will or should understand the things you said were not from you-but from the medication. 

Hugs Dear
Pat (humom to)
Miss Paige
Mr Roman
Ms Tula (for now)
Ms Frannie (my true angel girl)


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## katkoota

awwh Lucile, I am just reading this (just today checking on the forum) so I wasn't aware what you've been going through. Just wanted you to know that I pray for a speedy recovery and I am sure that you CAN do it; just takes some time. I happy to read that the pups are making you smile  keep on smiling and think positive. Before you know it, this will be over 
Snowy & Crystal send you some puppy kisses too.
(((hugs)))
Kat


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## katkoota

*Get well soon wishes from SnowyBear*

Dear Auntie Lucile, 
it is me, Snowy, woofing to you! Mama just told me about what you've been going through and I couldn't help it but bark few woofs to you and send you some good wishes. I know it isn't fun at the moment, but I am positive that you will very soon look back at this experience and just smile that you recovered good.

Here is a rose that I carry for you! Mama said this photo was taken last week of me for Valentines, but I think that you are one of the ones who mostly need a rose of love, hope and care at this moment, so I choose to also share it with you and send you tones of my puppy kisses. Get well soon, auntie! *tail wags* Snowy


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## Kathie

Mom2Izzo said:


> I have no idea what has happened but I just wanted to say that I am glad you are still with us and on the road to recovery. REST and RECOVER b/c we need you here!! prayers going up for you!


Nicole, Lucile had open heart surgery to have a valve replaced. It has been a rocky road but she is on the road to recovery now!


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## Becky Chittenden

Lucile, just wanted you to know I was thinking about you. Becky


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

AWWW Lucile, you got Snowy's Rose!!! You know how much you are loved! Hugs from Sir Winston and me.


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## Missy

Lucille--- me and the boys are thinking of you. Wishing you a full and fast recovery~!


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## pjewel

*Stopping by for a visit. There will come a day in the not too distant future that it will begin to get easier for you. You'll wonder if you'll ever get better, then one day you'll know that you are. Sending hugs.

Seems to me getting that rose from Snowy is probably the best gift you can get from us right now. Take care of you.*


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## Luciledodd

Snowy, I have gotton some pretty awesome cards, but yours takes the cake. Thanks Lucile


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## davetgabby

Welcome back Lucile. You were missed.


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## The Laughing Magpie

Oh Lucile, I am always wondering how you're doing and hoping you are not getting discouraged, the road toward recovery often seems long, but it is so worth it. I am so missing your wit.


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## Becky Chittenden

*LUCILE, HANG IN THERE. REMEMBER THE NEXT TIME YOU VISIT YOUR DAUGHTER IN POWELL TO LET ME KNOW AND WE'LL MEET IN PERSON. BECKY*


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## Luciledodd

Becky I would love that. Snowy you are now my background--such a wonderful picture. Things are getting better as goes the heart surgery. Pain pills are not were ofter maybe once a day after setting up all day--very weak though. But I have really done something to make God angry at me. I have a history of Cluster Headaches (you just have to look it up). I knew I was having the beginning warning and was ignoring the signs. I just thought that Got wouldn't do that to me on top of everything else--well he did. By the time I got the preventive meds the headaches had full control of me and the meds have to be stepped up to full strength over days. I can't step up again until Wed if I don't kill my self first. My husband and I haven't slept through the night since Friday. This morning when the last one quit, he fixed himself cottage cheese and peaches and then was taking the oxygen tank off of me when Rosie knocked over the cottage cheeze and peaches all over the carpert. It was the closest I have ever seen him come to loosing his temper with her. In fact I thought he was going to pick her up and pitch her outside. inste4ead, he just turned in circles. I had a genius idea. told him that she could get it up better than he could--jusst don't let her know that he knows. So that is what he did. I don't even think that the carpet is stickly. We havee to have some relief here. Hopefully when I step up the dosage on my meds tomorrow then the headaches will be prevented then we can start having fun again.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

Lucile, Thank goodness Rosie could help and enjoy helping :-} I am continuing prayers for you and the headaches too.


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## Kathie

Lucile, I am so sorry about those headaches. I have had migraines for years so I share your pain. I have heard that cluster headaches are even worse! I hope you will get some relief soon.

Don't you just know our little Havs like to clean up their own messes when it comes to food? What a little helper Rosie is! It is hard to get mad at such a cute face!

You continue to be in my prayers. Hope you feel a little stronger each day!


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## pjewel

Lucile,

I, too, was a migraine sufferer for many years and I know the pain. A friend of mine got cluster headaches and his life was pure hell till they were over. 

Amazing how, with everything you have going on, you still managed to make me laugh, picturing the cottage cheese and peaches incident. Sometimes you do just have to laugh. 

I'm so happy you're here with us, whenever you can be.


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## clare

You are one hell of a brave lady! Hope your terrible pain and suffering ends immediately. Sorry I can't make my posts larger.


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## krandall

Lucile, another migraine sufferer here. I don't know what pain Meds they have you on, but I know that for me, some pain Meds cause migraines. (percocet in particular) if you haven't discussed that with your doc, you might want to try changing to a different pain med to see if that helps the headache situation.

I loved the story of Rosie and the peaches... I knew it wouldn't be long before we started hearing the tales of Rosie and Josie Wales again!!!

Feel better soon!


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## Rita Nelson

Lucile, I'm so sorry to hear about the headaches on top of everything else. Boy, when it rains, it pours, huh! Praying the headaches will cease very soon and your energy directed to healing from the surgery. Man, what Rosie won't do for a treat. Hopefully, in a few short months this will just be a distant memory.


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## Becky Chittenden

GLAD ROSIE WAS TAUGHT HOUSEKEEPING. ALTHOUGH YOU MAY NOT THINK SO, ALL WILL BE BETTER IN TIME. STILL PRAYING.


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## Mom2Izzo

*HOPING THAT YOU HAVE A MUCH BETTER DAY TODAY LUCILE! PRAYING FOR YOU!*


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## The Laughing Magpie

Lucile, It is so great to see you post every once in a while. I guess it must seem to you that your progress is slow, I doubt that is true, time seems to stop when we are limited in our activities. After the first 4 to 6 weeks at home things move along a whole lot faster. Someday in the near future you will say this is Bull I'm reclaiming my life as I like it! You will. Hope they get a handle on your headache so you can get some stress free rest.


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## Luciledodd

That Rosie is such a trooper. Last night in the depth of a terrible headache, I realized that I had her little foot and was rubbing it for all it was worth. Actually, it was my hubby that noticed. Rosie was just laying there and not trying to get away or anthing--the minute hubby took her foot out of my hands though, she quickly got off the bed. I wasn't even aware of what I was doing. I have stepped up the dosage for the headaches and it is helping. They are not as intense and not as many each day. Have to wait another four days to step up again. That should be the final dosage that prevents them. Then I will just have to deal with the side effects of the med; but to me it is just what I have to do. Mostly it makes me appear to have alzimers (sp). speech problems. not being able to get out the right word but still knowing what I want to say. Pretty frustrating; but nothing compared to the headaches.

I have lost 32 lbs so far, I still have trouble with my vision and my hearing. Feels like I have water in my ears. I get a little stronger each day and each day I get new pain somewhere else in my chest area. But I did get downstairs yesterday and out the side door to the porch for about two minutes. It felt really wonderful.


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## motherslittlehelper

Lucile, So good to hear from you! I am sorry about the headaches on top of everything else, though. It does sound like you are getting well, little by little. It is coming through in your posts. Wow, 32 lbs.! You are going to need a new wardrobe!  Glad you were able to get outside for a bit - that always makes me feel better - the smell of the fresh air, hearing the birds. And what a sweetheart your Rosie is. Sounds like your DH is not so bad either! 

Thinking of you often and hope each day finds you stronger.

Linda/Augie


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## krandall

Glad to hear you were able to get a little taste of fresh air today, Lucile! We would expect nothing less of Rosie than she be a wonderful nurse for her Mama!!!


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## Kathie

It's so good to hear that you got outside - even for a couple of minutes. Rosie is being such a help to her Mama - that and the carpet cleaning she did for you I think she needs a bigger allowance! Hope the headaches ease up soon.


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## clare

Really hope you continue to improve.Sending love from over the seas!


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## Pipersmom

It sounds like Rosie knows just the right thing to do, your own in-house therapy dog.

Hope you feel better each day!


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

Aww Lucile, Rosie is so good for you!!! Hugs to you both!


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## LuvCicero

Still thinking about you daily and hoping each day is getting a little better. It was a slow road for DH to get his strength back. I hope you and Rosie will rest and enjoy the pretty days that are creeping in. Main thing...take care of yourself!


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## Kathie

Hi Lucile! Hope you're getting stronger every day!


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## irnfit

Just want to say HI LUCILLE!!!!!! Hope you're feeling better. Hugs to Rosie.


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## The Laughing Magpie

Lucle, I hope you get to read or have someone read to you the forum, we are thinking of you. Oh and catching up could take awhile.


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## Becky Chittenden

I was thinking about you and hoping the headaches have disappeared and that you are feeling a little stronger each day. Becky


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

Thinking about you Lucile!!! hugs, hugs, hugsA!


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## Luciledodd

Thanks everyone. Things really haven't gotten better by much. I don't know if I told you about the blood clot or not and the med for the cluster headaches is not preventing the this time. The pain is less and they are not lasting as long at a time; but coming frequently. One night last week we were up all night. I am exhausted from lack of sleep, still have pain from the surgery, etc. I go back to vanderbilt for the first time Tuesday to see the surgeon. I have a lot of questions--mainly about this blood clot. Still can't read very well either, so I am not really reading many of the posts like I would want to. One of these days I will feel like my old self again hopefully. Lucile


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## davetgabby

Patience truly is a virtue. Yep the older we get the longer it takes to heal. You'll get there.


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## clare

Hope you get some good answers to your questions.Hoping your pain lessen soon.


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## Becky Chittenden

I HOPE YOUR DR. VISIT IS A GOOD ONE. HANG IN THERE. BECKY


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## The Laughing Magpie

No I don't remember you saying anything about a blood clot. I hope it desolves soon and the doctors have it in control. You are probable having some complications with the different meds and your headaches. The headaches will go. I know you think you are not getting better, but it really is baby steps and we always expect so much from ourselves. The unfair thing is as we get better we hurt more because we start noticing everything. You just keep pushing ahead slowly. We miss you. Hugs


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## mellowbo

I know this must feel like an eternity to you and I hope you get some answers on Tuesday. Just know everyone is thinking good thoughts and praying for you!


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## Luciledodd

What a difference two or three weeks can make! I am beginning to feel like a human being again. The pain fron the surgery has abated finally and the headache meds are keeping them at bay. Course I am weak and still can't read very well. But a few more 80 degree days might just cure me completely. The blood clot is still worrisome to me. The surgeon said that they would do scans in 6 months and if it is still there then they would see what is to be done. As long as it doesn't require the open heart surgery again he has my blessing otherwise he might as well just kill me. And I didn't mean that one to be funny.

I want to thank every one of you that sent your on-line cards and prayers and many of you also got my address and sent cards and letters and little packages for me and Rosie. I have a shoe box full of them. I Know that is how I got through the worst of it, just sorting through the cards and reading the post. Guys, you can never know how much it really meant to me.

Love Lucile Dodd


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor

Luciledodd said:


> What a difference two or three weeks can make! I am beginning to feel like a human being again. The pain fron the surgery has abated finally and the headache meds are keeping them at bay. Course I am weak and still can't read very well. But a few more 80 degree days might just cure me completely. The blood clot is still worrisome to me. The surgeon said that they would do scans in 6 months and if it is still there then they would see what is to be done. As long as it doesn't require the open heart surgery again he has my blessing otherwise he might as well just kill me. And I didn't mean that one to be funny.
> 
> I want to thank every one of you that sent your on-line cards and prayers and many of you also got my address and sent cards and letters and little packages for me and Rosie. I have a shoe box full of them. I Know that is how I got through the worst of it, just sorting through the cards and reading the post. Guys, you can never know how much it really meant to me.
> 
> Love Lucile Dodd


Never been so happy to see you post Lucile, so glad you are back...all the hugs in the world...


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## Becky Chittenden

So glad to hear things are getting better. Keep improving. I love warm weather too.


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## Rita Nelson

Oh Lucile, your post today brightened my little corner of the world. Last Fri. it was 70 degrees in Bedford, NH, but today it's in the low 30's and snowing. Your post put a little sunshine in the day for me. So glad you're beginning to feel more like your old self and joining us once again on Havases Forum. We've truly missed you, Rosie and Josie Wales, the outlaw cat. Looking forward to the many antics of Rosie and Josie which, I'm sure, will induce huge belly laughs.


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## davetgabby

great to hear you're coming around . We knew you would tough it out.


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## krandall

Yay Lucile! It's been so nice to see you posting again... I knew you must be feeling a bit better. Keep on getting better, and soon you'll be able to keep up with Miss Rosie again. (well, maybe not, but I don't think ANY of us can, so that's OK!)


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## The Laughing Magpie

Lucile, So happy you are feeling better. So are you yet thinging about what you'll spend all that extra money left over from not smoking. My son told me that after he quit he suddenly had lots of extra cash. Myself I hadn't realized how much it costs in dollars to smoke these days....When he told me I was shocked!!!!! The last time I bought a pack for anyone it was 35 cents, that was a long time ago.

Can't wait to hear the lastest adventures of Rosie, Josie Wales and your chickens. Yogi is a bit jealous that Rosie has chickens to play with.


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## Kathie

Good to hear you're finally starting to feel like your old self! Time and warm weather cures all ills! My son and I were just saying tonight how much more we feel like doing when the weather is warm. Will continue to pray about the blood clot and that it will go away on its own.


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## luv3havs

Lucile,
So happy to see that you are doing so much better!


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## motherslittlehelper

Such good, good news, Lucile! I could tell from a post you made in another thread, that you were feeling better. Much stronger hints of our old Lucile are coming out!  Nice weather can do such wonders for the soul. On days when I am feeling UGH, if I can get out in the sun and fresh air, it makes a total difference. Have thought of you often and will keep thinking of you, hoping that blood clot issue resolves itself. Looking forward to hearing more about the adventures of those little characters that share your home!


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## Moe's Gram

Lucile, its good to know that you are feeling better. You have been missed!


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