# One step forward, one step back



## harmony (Jan 18, 2015)

Today Kepler had his follow-up grooming appointment. The groomer was only able to do half of his grooming two weeks ago because he was so nervous. He was growling and lunging at the groomer at the beginning of that appointment, and though he calmed down a bit, she was only able to clip off the matted fur. She wanted to stop while he was tolerating it and have him back in a week or two for the rest of the groom. So that was today.

Other than some very mild growling, he did great. He went to her willingly, tail wagging, not displaying any aggression of nervousness. He let her do whatever she needed to do. She said she could tell the training time I've put in was working, that she wouldn't believe he was the same dog as last time if she hadn't known differently. That was really encouraging. But then we got home, and Kepler started growling, barking aggressively, and lunging at our neighbor. 

Tomorrow it will have been two weeks since we got him. I know it's unrealistic to expect to solve all the stranger anxiety in two weeks. It's going to be more like months, right? But after such an encouraging grooming appointment, it was really discouraging to me to get home and feel like we were back to square one for training.

Anyway, I'm just looking for encouragement from anyone who has dealt with stranger fear/aggression in their dog, or just ideas for how to best handle the training. I'm in this for the long run, but I need a bit of support. Thanks!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

harmony said:


> Today Kepler had his follow-up grooming appointment. The groomer was only able to do half of his grooming two weeks ago because he was so nervous. He was growling and lunging at the groomer at the beginning of that appointment, and though he calmed down a bit, she was only able to clip off the matted fur. She wanted to stop while he was tolerating it and have him back in a week or two for the rest of the groom. So that was today.
> 
> Other than some very mild growling, he did great. He went to her willingly, tail wagging, not displaying any aggression of nervousness. He let her do whatever she needed to do. She said she could tell the training time I've put in was working, that she wouldn't believe he was the same dog as last time if she hadn't known differently. That was really encouraging. But then we got home, and Kepler started growling, barking aggressively, and lunging at our neighbor.
> 
> ...


You are right&#8230; This isn't going to be a quick fix. But also remember that he had already tolerated the groomer, and adding the neighbor was just too much and tipped him over the edge. Look at the positive, and take the negative in stride! Two weeks ago, he would have had trouble with both&#8230; That means you've made a HUGE improvement in his acceptance of strangers!!! Also remember that he may NEVER be completely comfortable and friendly with all strangers. That's OK. You just want him to get to the point where he's not trying to actively "chase them away".


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## harmony (Jan 18, 2015)

krandall said:


> But also remember that he had already tolerated the groomer, and adding the neighbor was just too much and tipped him over the edge. Look at the positive, and take the negative in stride! Two weeks ago, he would have had trouble with both&#8230; That means you've made a HUGE improvement in his acceptance of strangers!!!


Thank you, that's a great way of looking at it. 

I'm hoping for some good weather and healthy kids (they're both down with a cold right now) soon so we can get out for a nice long walk in the neighborhood or the park with him. Training is going great so far, but he can only make so much progress without exposure.


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## 31818 (Oct 29, 2014)

I think mi amigo Kepler is doing GRRRRRREAT after only two weeks! Accentuate the positive, work on the negative. The way I look at it, Kepler has made a 50% improvement as far as trusting strangers. It took me two weeks just to find the door to outside where I go potty at my forever home! :doh:

Keep up the good work Kepler.

su amigo, Ricky Ricardo


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## Naturelover (Nov 30, 2013)

krandall said:


> But also remember that he had already tolerated the groomer, and adding the neighbor was just too much and tipped him over the edge.


Karen is right on the money here. Studies have shown that after dogs are required to exhibit some impulse control, they kind of "run out of impulse control" and make worse decisions later than if they hadn't had to do the difficult exercise first.

It's not so different from us people. On days where you may have had a stressful meeting with your boss, but you made it through and stayed polite, you might be more likely to snap at someone who bumps into you on the sidewalk, or even at your spouse/partner if they haven't done their share of housework, for example.  Stress is cumulative. In the reactive dog world, that's what they call "trigger stacking". Basically the baseline just got higher up to the "tipping over" point. So that's a great reason to take it nice and easy and never push our dogs too much. One big event like that in a day is plenty for a nervous dog to deal with. Of course we can't always avoid running into neighbours and things like that, but one option would be to give your pup lots of treats right when the neighbour comes into sight, especially if he has already had a trying day. And keep that visit really short or just don't involve him if he has already been kind of stressed.

Sounds like you are making progress though, so that is great! I know with my dog each day he seems to be a little different in how he reacts to and interacts with the world. Some days he has "reactive days" where he is scanning a lot and looking more nervous. Other days, he is cool as a cucumber and doesn't care so much what is going on around him.


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## harmony (Jan 18, 2015)

My mom came over today and we worked with Kepler for a good long while, poor dear. She sat in a chair as far away from him in the house as she could get and still be visible, with her back partially turned to him, while I treated him for looking at her without barking. It was slow going. _Really_ slow going at some points. We used real meat, which I've never given him before, as a high reward treat. When he could handle being 20 ft from him, I started tossing turkey in her direction and letting him go get them. She had some turkey, too, that she used once he was much closer to her. She would drop it near her chair, and he would actually go (more like crawl, poor scared dog) and eat it from right next to her chair leg. But if she turned or tried to stand up, that was obviously too much for him. She's going to try to come again next weekend to help me again if she can, and I think I'll try to enlist the help of some friends who like dogs. Not every day, though. Because I see what you're saying about trigger stacking. Kepler has always done great with being left in his crate while we leave the house, but today we went to church tonight and he was so stressed out. So mental note: don't plan to have anyone over to work on socialization on days when I will also need to leave the house.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

You're doing such good work with your little guy! You should be proud of yourself!


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## harmony (Jan 18, 2015)

:redface: Thank you so much!


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## 31818 (Oct 29, 2014)

harmony said:


> It was slow going. _Really_ slow going at some points.


Patience and persistence is the key!



> I started tossing turkey in her direction and letting him go get them. She had some turkey, too, that she used once he was much closer to her. She would drop it near her chair, and he would actually go (more like crawl, poor scared dog) and eat it from right next to her chair leg.


This is a classic training technique! 
My psychologist auntie says it even works for some very stubborn men peoples! ound: :brick:



> But if she turned or tried to stand up, that was obviously too much for him.


Easy does it, this is too much too soon. Remember, patience and persistence. Keep this up, poco a poco (little by little) and before you know it, mi amigo Kepler, will be happily sitting in your Momi's lap giving your Momi besos.



> we went to church tonight and he was so stressed out.


I know how Kepler feels, I miss my Momi and Popi so much when they are gone. Maybe you could leave Kepler in a closed off room rather than a crate. Leave him a bully stick or frozen Kong (gracias Tia Karen) to occupy him while you are gone.

You and Kepler have made great progress in the last week. Keep up the good work, both of you!

besos Ricky Ricardo


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## harmony (Jan 18, 2015)

(I hope I'm not boring you all with these updates. I appreciate the support so much!)

Today was a gorgeous day, so the whole family went to the dog park. It was *very* crowded - a minimum of 15 dogs in the small dog area the entire time we were there, and not a parking space to be found in the entire parking lot. I sat down with Kepler in a far corner of the small dog enclosure for the first 20 minutes or so working on getting him to look at people without growling and barking. Then when he seemed to calm down a bit, we went for a walk around the perimeter, where there weren't many people. At that point, a _big_ man who owned two havanese came up to me to ask what breed he was, because he thought he was part hav (the man guessed havanese/shih tzu mix). Kepler did growl a bit, but went to the man willingly(!!). It was the first time I've ever seen him do that since we got him. :biggrin1:

Of course, the next person who came to join the conversation got lunged at and nearly bitten... but it was huge progress. And the progress kept going, too. The whole time we were there, Kepler never once growled or barked at a child, even when they came quite close to him, and he even went of his own accord up to a teenage boy and licked his hand. :whoo:

He wanted to play with the other dogs so badly, but I wouldn't let him off leash. I didn't want to risk a bad interaction with a person. (Actually, I did let him off once, and I regretted it. He played with the other dog for a few seconds, then he was barking and growling at a person who tried to pet him. When he was on leash, the people at the park mostly gave him his space.) By the end of the time in the off leash area, he was able to walk amid people without any sign of nerves. Then we went walking on a trail in that park, and the trail was crowded with people on bikes and roller skates and with big families and wearing hats and sunglasses and all that, and he didn't bark or growl at _any_ of the people _the entire walk_. :cheer2: :whoo: :cheer2:

Huge, huge progress made today, I'm so proud of him! :hug::clap2:

Also, I got a lot of feedback from people seeing him in person on his breed. Everyone but the man who owned two havs immediately thought he was havanese, and that man thought he was at least half havanese. And after interacting with his dogs, I have to say I agree more with the havanese owner. Kepler's coat is slightly thicker, coarser, and curlier than theirs (but they had long coats and his is quite short... I also wonder about the difference in feel between cotton or curly coated havs?). The proportions are also slightly off, and of course he has the underbite. But it was nice to hear someone who know havs look at not just a picture of him and say at least half havanese. I feel like I actually belong on this board now, hah.


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