# How do you describe the FORUM...



## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

...to Friends, Coleagues or other Hav owners you meet? I spend so much time on here and get so much great info, that sometimes I feel silly at how much time I spend on THE FORUM, as we call it in my house. 

So I find myself, making fun of myself and us first to make it not seem like the entity it is in my life ( I guess I feel self conscious because we don't have human kids)... And I have had to explain it a lot lately because of the upcoming Play Date. So for instance it usually goes something like this...

ME:"oh I can't believe you have a HAV" (to someone I have casually known for months who is regular at a place we have dinner often but just found out they have a HAV) 
Person: Oh no one knows what HAV is I can't believe you have them.
ME: believe it or not I am hosting a HAVANESE playdate...There will be at least 10 other Havs there, you should come... You should check out the Havanese Forum on-line...
Person: the what?
ME: (and here's where I make my excuses--LOL) ohhhh, it's this on-line forum all about Havs...Mostly a lot of Crazy Dog Ladies (some guys) who look at puppy pictures and go "ooooooh how cute."
Person: Oh.
ME: but you know there is also a lot of help with problem solving, support and information. And a true love and understanding of the breed. 

and then I always go into, how supportive and wonderful we are to each other and describe the help, the lay-over playdates, the rescue efforts, the fund raising. How you automatically have friends in other parts of the country. How supportive you all were to me when Cash was sick. And how supportive we are when non dog related tragedies happen. And how when I had my eyes on a rescue all the way across the country-- the people on the forum tried to figure out how to make it happen. 

By this time, the other person is either going to become a member, or really thinks I am a CDL---LOL .. in this actual case...we'll see if she comes to the play date in September


----------



## isshinryu_mom (Mar 23, 2008)

LOL.... I don't think it's 'cause you don't have human kids that you feel self concious since I have them and sort of end up having the same kind of conversations and explanations too! I think I end up feeling sort of strange talking about it cause getting so involved with "internet people" is something I don't let my kids too and have preached to them about it forever (for obvious reasons) and would probably have thought anyone else who was going to go to meet someone and their dog when they had a flight lay over was nuts (aka Michigan/Maryam playdate )!! Oh well. I am getting comfortable with being nuts the more it happens. I have only had the opportunity to really tell one person about the forum in more than a casual way and they haven't joined (or haven't posted, I should say.) But they have had a havanese for several years... they have expressed interest in coming to a playdate though. 

I hope your acquaintance will show up to your playdate.... you just don't know what your missing till you have the chance to go.


----------



## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

That is sweet, Missy!

I have human kids, lots of them..a pack of them. lol But I don't hang around on parenting forums. Ahem. No wonder they are jealous of Gucci and the attention she gets! LOL

ound:

It really is a great online community, I adore most everyone here, we Hav that special HAV bond that other people are deprived of, I feel sorry for peopel that dont' hav a hav! 

Kara


----------



## Jill in Mich (Feb 24, 2008)

ound:ound:ound:

Aaaah Missy, you've hit upon my ongoing conundrum! How exactly do I describe this group of friends without sounding like an absolute nut!?!

My conversations sound very similar to yours....

To those people who know me, my conversations are frequently peppered with "Well on *the Forum *today there was a discussion about..." "On *the Forum *we call that RLH" (just used that one yesterday!)

Most people, when I start talking about *the Forum* look at me really funny. And like you, I frequently make a little joke out of it. "I belong to this group of Havanese owners online - yes, they're all crazy dog people like me....some even more so!"

They usually start out trying to be polite but you can see the conflict behind their eyes -"oh, she's one of those people" (whoever "those people" are). Then it frequently turns to laughter when they hear about our playdate, Birthday parties, flying across continent to meet up with others from the group.

When I was planning the party at my house, I can't tell you the number of neighbors who wanted to come!

When I was going to Shelly's house for the first time one of my neighbors asked if I was meeting her at a neutral location. "No, I'm going to her house." The neighbor, who has dated online, was appalled. "Jill, you can't do that! It's not safe!" It had never crossed my mind that it might not be safe - "of course it's safe, she's a dog person!" "Jill, you don't know that. It's online, she may be lying." "No, you haven't me these people. I've seen pictures - there are pictures and videos of the getthem getting together." (Of course, when you really think about it, the people who have been taken by online scams, crimes probably all said the same thing... but this is different!!!)
By the end, if they're dog people - they'll ask me questions about grooming, feeding, training, health, toys, etc. and have even asked if there's a group like that for their breed. I've had neighbors sit and oooh and aaaah over puppy pictures with me!

If they aren't dog people.....well, they just don't get it.

I'd only admit to all of you how often I check in every day and how often during the day I think of something that's been discussed here or "oh, I have to get a picture of that for the forum".

I have to admit, I play up the "crazy dog lady" label..... if I'm going to have a reputation, that's a pretty good one to have.


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

LOL after people asking to see a puppy poop on a pad and me actually posting it I'm not sure how to describe it!! ound:
Try explaining that one to someone who hasn't heard of the forum!


----------



## Redorr (Feb 2, 2008)

Jill - I never thought about people saying going to playdates was from a scary online hookup! But I can see why people would say that. A few minutes on this forum and I think they would get over that.

What I struggle with is, when I am with my trainer or dog walker or vet and I share some information I have learned on the forum, they are immediately skeptical. So I have found that I lie. I say that I got the information from my breeder. Seeing as often the advice comes from Kimberly or Tom any one of our many fabulous Forum breeders, I am not totally lying. But people assume if you get information online, it must be suspect. Frankly I don't think of this forum as "online" in that regard. Other forums are about people mouthing off about how much they know about the forum subject, one-upping one another and then throwing in some crazy off-topic rant every 5 comments. That is not this place at all. You can say Crazy Dog Ladies, but I have never seen anything other than straight up concern, advice, hope, cheers, direction, support, laughs and some tears. How can you knock that? It is perhaps the only place I can say that about!

I don't get as many skeptical comments from people who are hav owners or dog owners. And when I tell of the actual advice I have gotten and the support for understanding the quirkiness of the breed, well, the skeptics usually shut up. Afterall, as a first time dog owner, who at 51 has no kids, how the heck else am I going to learn?!?! And where the heck else am I going to get the support to cruise through the times when I am flying blind here?!?!

When I meet a hav owner I tell them about the forum by saying it is filled with dedicated owners and breeders who share stories and tips and have made me laugh through all the efforts of raising my Princess Pee and Poop (Lola's real name). They pretty much get it. Non-hav owners, not so much!


----------



## Jill in Mich (Feb 24, 2008)

Redorr said:


> Princess Pee and Poop (Lola's real name).


 ound:ound:

I call Tess "Little Miss Poop-A-Lot" and one of the most frequently used phrases is our house is....."There's an awful lot of pee'n & poop'n going on!"

Where else can you admit to that and have people not only completely understand but do/say something similar!


----------



## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

As a hav-mommy, all I can say is that when the veterinarian asks how are Henry b.m.'s, I can go into complete details: size, time of day, shape, color, consistency, frequency.

Someone who can offer all details of this topic surely finds others to share other hav-facts with on-line!


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

I find most of my sentences with DH regarding Scooter begin with, "Well, on the forum..." He just laughs because he's a techie and he found the forum, not me! 

This site has been invaluable since we became Hav owners!!! I love it that I can hop on at any time of the day or night to see if there's anything new posted and I've gotten such wonderful advice! I know it's kept me from calling the vet or running over there many times so it's probably saved me quite a bit of money. My sisters think I'm nuts for what we do for Scooter but I can't imagine having any animal and not taking proper care of it. He just gets a little extra stuff because he's such a sweetie! Can't imagine our lives without him now.


----------



## The Fussy Puppy Gang (May 21, 2007)

Around our house I definitely call it The Forum. DH knows exactly what I'm talking about when I tell him I saw or learned about something from The Forum.

With friends, family or strangers I call it the Havanese Forum and tell them it's made up of Havanese breeders and owners. My sister bought a Toy Fox Terrier earlier this year and I've been on her to find a TFT forum so she, too, can learn from fellow owners and experienced breeders. I think that's the best thing about having such a wonderful experience with this group. It has given me lots of info and encouragement to recommend similar groups for other breed-type owners. I only hope that those forums are as welcoming and nurturing as you guys are!


----------



## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

This is interesting to me based on what or how you explain it. 
I guess I just say I belong to this group of hav people on a forum. I don't go into details,but my Mom and husband and Lacy know the names of people I refer to. They kinda feel like they know you guys too. I have a friend that asks advice about her dogs based on what I've learned from here.My Mom asks me too. Of course I don't invite them to join as they don't have havanese----but it does kinda make me feel "smart" when I can give them advice or warn them about a recall etc.

You know what though? I've never thought of anyone on here as a crazy dog lady--well ok a couple people!ound: I must be one too---that's why I don't recognise one?ound::ear:


----------



## Paige (Sep 12, 2006)

Well, I just tell people that you all are just a bunch of crazy dog people like myself. I mean come on, I have gotten 4 havs in 2 1/2 years. Everyone I know thinks I'm the crazy dog lady and I am absolutely okay with that title. I wear it proud. :whoo: 
You all help me feel like it's normal.ound:


----------



## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

Paige---I would call you LUCKY!:thumb:


----------



## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

Paige, I am in awe of you - 4 Havs! I am watching your every move, cause I want to follow in your footsteps!!

So, how to explain the Hav Forum to others without having them think you are are crazy?

_You can't._

But, I try to emphasize the "information sharing" part of it and then talk about what a wonderful, supportive group it is. Most people can't even fathom how there would even be enough to talk about re: Havanese that we could keep a forum going! So, it helps to explain it using a parenting analogy - how with kids, you can talk about sleeping, schooling, eating, feeding, playing, etc. and how those same things (plus a heavy emphasis on grooming!) apply to our Havs.

But they'll still think you're part crazy!


----------



## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

OK, regarding the ofrum, my husband calls me obsessed. My kids remind mer that it is not safe to meet people from the internet.

Yet, I have met some awesome people here. People who were there for me when Roxie had her Liver issues. People who have their own needs, and I want to stand beside. 

This may be an online group that defies description. 

As great as Havanese are, their owners may be even better.


----------



## Posh's Mom (Dec 20, 2007)

My hubby calls this "the warm fuzzies forum." I hav (get it?) to agree. I love you guys!


----------



## moxie (Feb 6, 2008)

Yeah, I definitely walk that fine line of CDL. Now I am contemplating getting a stroller and feel certain that will put me right over the edge. 

I feel people are too polite to say, but may discuss behind my back.
...Oh well, I consider it my "passionate hobby"!!!
Besides TV stinks!!


----------



## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

I tell people all about the forum, especially if they are interested in getting a Hav. But, when I start telling them about playdates and meeting people from the forum, I get weird looks.


----------



## mybella (May 16, 2008)

My kids complain that I'm on the forum too much. I just tell people about the Havanese forum - they can call me crazy or whatever - I don't care. I love my Bella and I love the forum. So, if I'm a crazy dog lady or a crazy forum member - then that's okay. I'm proud of it!

Hmm ... that could be a T-shirt.


----------



## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

I just love that there is a group of people that I know
feel the same way about their Hav that I feel about
Sissy. It's a wonderful connection. Yes, I get weird
looks, too when I try to tell people about my friends
on the forum.


----------



## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

irnfit said:


> But, when I start telling them about playdates and meeting people from the forum, I get weird looks.


Sometimes when I tell people about the forum, they'll say something about how they'd rather spend time with "real" people that they can get to know in person vs. "virtual" people on the Internet that they'll never meet. Then, if I tell them that I actually _have _met several people on the forum from playdates or the Hav National, they really think I'm nuts at that point!

You just can't win.

And I have a dog stroller. I am a CDL!


----------



## Olliesmom (Sep 29, 2006)

ITS THE FIRST THING I DO IN THE MORN AND THE LAST THING I DO AT NIGHT!!!!!

WITH MY LAPTOP LYING RIGHT NEXT TO MY BED.....NOW THAT IS A "SICK WOMAN"!


----------



## RikiDaisyDixie (Apr 15, 2008)

*some example I am for my daughter...*

We tell kids not to go on chat rooms because of scary people. So we are driving 90 miles from home and my daughter wants to know how I know these people...gee from the internet! Oh oh! A bunch of crazy havanese people I have only met through the forum! And we are driving 90 minutes to see them for a havanese play date! Well are we crazy or are we havanese crazy!


----------



## Me&2Girls (May 11, 2007)

Great thread Missy. I'll have to be honest, I only talk about the forum to other members otherwise I just say it's "one of my dog groups." My kids don't understand why I sit laughing out loud sometimes as I'm reading the posts. Although my sister has just gotten involved in a global on line community and met some fabulous friends and found wonderful support, so eventually I'll talk Forum talk with her. 

Catherine, if I had a laptop, I'd be as bad as you!


----------

