# Rejected.



## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

Okay, most of you know my trials and tribulations with trying to find anywhere or someone to watch Tillie. It's been 2 years and every avenue I try ends with a dead end. And now, the place that has been recommended for awhile, kind of my 'last resort' BUT the best, kennel free, kind of home/outside boarding place just rejected us!! I am a HUGE people pleaser/peace keeper. I can not stand it when someone is mad at me or just plain doesn't like me. So, this actually really hurts me.

I contacted the lady a few weeks ago and she sent me paper work. I filled it all out and e-mail it back to her. A full week went by and I hadn't heard anything, so I sent her another e-mail asking if she had recieved my paper work. A few days later she says yes and that we can set up a day care day. Keep in mind I don't know much about the place, have never been out there, or met anyone from their, so even though my friends rave about the place, I wanted to check it out. BUT I am just suppose to leave her there, the first time I visit. Anyway, so I sent her this e-mail :

Hello!

Great! I am a bit of a nervous nellie... will she be supervised closely during her day care day to see how she does?
She isn't used to being around other dogs, so I am nervous about how she will do. I have been working with her a lot and she does well around small, non barky, non aggressive dogs, but she hasn't ever had the chance to be off leash with any other dogs. All my fault, but wanted you to know! She is also VERY attached to me and will be very confused when I leave her, will someone be able to let her follow them around and what not? or how does it work with the newbies??

Thank you for understanding my worries!! "


Does it sound like Tillie is aggressive? or do I make us sound horrible or something??? I just had some questions, that's all, that I wanted to ask.

so, today I get home from work and got this e-mail back:

"Hi,

I don’t believe "kennel name here" will be the best fit for Tillie. The dogs are closely supervised and receive lots of human attention, but in order for our guests to enjoy this type of boarding, they “must love dogs.” Due to her lack of socialization with other dogs, I’m afraid she will be overwhelmed by the activity here. It sounds to me like Tillie would be much happier at home, in the care of a loving pet/house sitter. Thank you so much for considering us!

My best, 

XXXXXXXXX"

She answered very politely and compassionately and I think has Tillie's best interest at heart, but still. Sight unseen. Tillie didn't even get a CHANCE...  I feel like a failure. AND we STILL don't have anyone anywhere that could ever watch Tillie. I just feel like curling up and crying....


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

I just wanted to know if Tillie was going to be 'thrown' in with a bunch of dogs and left to her own defenses....


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## emichel (May 3, 2012)

Hi Tammy -- Well I'm a much newer puppy mom, as Benjamin's only 6 months, but I don't blame you a bit for wanting more information and involvement at the beginning. If they don't have anything to hide, why would they object to having you stick around to see how Tillie does before leaving her there? Sounds fishy to me! I will admit that I am behind on my HF reading and have not followed your whole process with looking for a dog watcher. I have just begun the process myself and it is hard. Is there no one in your area who watches dogs in their homes? I have found lots around here who do boarding, but don't know if they do daytimes or evenings only. Hang in there, there is nothing wrong with you, for sure!
-- Eileen


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

to be honest Tammy , I agree with her. What sort of care are you looking for exactly. ?


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

ya, like I said at the end of my e-mail I understand and she was nice about it, but really, not even giving Tillie a CHANCE? are we THAT bad??

They require just the 1 day of day care and then you can board there. We just wanted to have a "go to" place in case something happened and we needed to board her somewhere. I have searched and searched and searched and there are no in home dog boarding places anywhere. Just a little old lady would do fine, but noooooooo, no.one. And if there was... I probably wouldn't trust them. lol I'm pathetic.


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## emichel (May 3, 2012)

You may be right, Dave, but it seems a bit unreasonable to me to just expect someone to drop off their dog for a day of boarding without having seen the place.
-- Eileen


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## Lizzie'sMom (Oct 13, 2010)

Tammy, I know you feel bad being rejected, but I really don't think this is the type of place for Tillie. I am pretty sure Lizzie and Tillie are a lot alike and would be overwhelmed with all the dogs in a kennel type environment. Even just the noise of dogs barking could be a stressor for her. Then there is the being alone overnight issue. I have been through this. The receptionist at the orthodontist told me of her neighbor who watches small dogs out of her home. I took Lizzie over twice for an hour and she said she would watch her. She did watch Lizzie for a week and found her to be too needy. I do blame myself for this as she sleeps with us and has never really been alone. I guess when her husband went to bed at 2 am Lizzie would start crying as she was now alone in the family room. She had told me that she could sleep with one of her kids. Not really sure what happened there. Luckily, I asked the neighbors nanny who I saw with her two dogs at the bus stop if she would watch Lizzie. She LOVES Lizzie and doesn't find her needy or anything. She has been super. I was absolutely shocked when she told me that she put Lizzie in her kennel and told her to go to sleep and she was quiet the entire week. She is not kennel trained!! Just ask everywhere you go when you see someone with small dogs if they have a pet sitter or what they do when they go on vacation. I sure wish I lived close to you as I would take Tille in a heartbeat.


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## emichel (May 3, 2012)

Do you know about Rover.com? I don't know where you live, but it shows a lot of people in my area who board dogs in their homes. Maybe you could find something there.
-- Eileen


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

awwww, thank you Lynne!

Ya, this place ISN'T a kennel, and at night they stay in the owners house, in thier crates and Tillie IS crate trained! They stay in thier house over night, so they aren't alone.
But, she won't even let Tillie try it out. It might not have worked, but to just say NO, sorry, she can't come? My feelings are totally hurt. I have tried for 2 yrs to find some one or somewhere to watch her when/if we ever leave and have never found anyone.
I have even flat out ASKED people that have small, friendly dogs on the street or in Pet Smart if they would consider watching her and everyone just laughs it off... I just feel SO alone in this ding dang hick town!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
this weekend I am going to my home town... with Tillie in tow. Should be an interesting weekend. Football games, pumpkin patch, parks, eating out, lots of friends houses ... pray for me!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

yeah Tammy , I think the best bet would be a dog sitter. Someone trained preferably.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

yes, I have checked rover.com and several other sites, there is nothing in my area.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

davetgabby said:


> yeah Tammy , I think the best bet would be a dog sitter. Someone trained preferably.


bwhahhahahaa... lol ya, I'm really going to find THAT in my country bumpkin, livin on food stamp area! :frusty:

Although, it is, of course a fantastic idea!


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

but wait, okay, so Dave, you really think Tillie doesn't even deserve a CHANCE to try this kennel free place??

She is a well behaved, trained, smart, social, outgoing little girl, her only fault is loving people TOO much and not having had the chance to be around unleashed dogs because we don't have any friends that have dogs and there is NO way I subjecting her to the dog park.
Is she loved? YES! Is she coddled and spoiled? NO.


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## mamacjt (Aug 23, 2011)

I feel for you and wish you lived here because I'd surely take her if necessary in an emergency. My Hav is exactly the same way and I don't know what I'd do either if we needed help although I have a wonderful neighbor who'd come in a few times a day to let him out if need be. In fact, when we had our last dog, she and her hubby would come her after supper and watch our TV for a few hours just to keep the dog company for a few hours. 

What about talking to your vet and asking him if they have any ideas. Perhaps they know of someone, maybe even a client who has small dogs and lives alone. Like you said, a little old lady would be wonderful!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

TilliesMom said:


> but wait, okay, so Dave, you really think Tillie doesn't even deserve a CHANCE to try this kennel free place??
> 
> She is a well behaved, trained, smart, social, outgoing little girl, her only fault is loving people TOO much and not having had the chance to be around unleashed dogs because we don't have any friends that have dogs and there is NO way I subjecting her to the dog park.
> Is she loved? YES! Is she coddled and spoiled? NO.


did I miss something.? What do you mean, I thought she was not recommending daycare facilities. If Tillie is not good around other dogs she really shouldn't be subjected to them without proper methods. She isn't in the business of rehab, and probably shouldn't unless she's a trainer. Simple boarding can be very stressful too., depending on the place and dogs present.


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## StarrLhasa (Jun 6, 2010)

Tammy:

Have you checked out www.DogVacay.com? Here is a link to some dogVacay Hosts in far Northern California.

http://dogvacay.com/Redding-CA-Dog-Boarding?s=Redding,+CA&start_date=&end_date=&sort=recommended

Most of the rates look pretty reasonable, and you can arrange a meet and greet with Tillie at their home to see how she reacts.

Don't forget, if you are coming down to the Bay Area, Tillie is welcome here.


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## Dory (Jan 4, 2012)

I looked at Dog Vacay and I may just offer to watch dogs myself when Quincy is a little older. Also try pet sitters international - I think they even have a pet sitter course.


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## Brady's mom (Dec 1, 2006)

Tammy, I understand how you are feeling. As someone who watches dogs in their home, I think you may have scared her a little when you said she has never really been around other dogs. Not knowing Tillie and how great she is, she may be concerned about her reaction to the other dogs and their reaction to her. I certainly understand your hesitation to just leave her there, but that could have raised her concern about this as well. Dogs tend to stick to the owner when they are there and you can't really see how they truly interact with you and the other dogs. She certainly could have said that though. That is one of the many problems with email. As much as you think you are saying what you really want to, it can be read very differently. If you are okay swallowing your pride a little on this, maybe you want to call her and discuss Tillie and your situation a little further.

Even though I watch dogs in my home, I don't feel comfortable taking my dogs to anyone when I am away. I only wish I could find me  I have a great girl who moves in with them. She is a teacher and I actually found her through sittercity originally. Do you have any children or do you know anyone who works in a school? A lot of times teachers are young and happy to make some extra money staying with someone's dogs. I really lucked out with Claire. I used to have someone I left them with (my breeder's Mom) but she doesn't watch dogs anymore. She was wonderful, but I have not found anyone else as great as her to leave them with. I have one person I refer people to when I am not available, but she has a son and takes larger dogs which does not work with my dogs. 

I hope this helps.


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## gelbergirl (Jun 9, 2007)

You may have come off as sounding too needy yourself and therefore it may be she did not want you & Tillie as a client.

When I registered Henry at a local doggie daycare, he was interviewed by the owners difficult dalmatian. It was all about the dog, so I understand how you feel, though you may have overshadow Tillie.

I get the sense that Tillie is well socialized. You have all sorts of play dates for her, and she is a havanese, gets along with everyone yes.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

davetgabby said:


> did I miss something.? What do you mean, I thought she was not recommending daycare facilities. If Tillie is not good around other dogs she really shouldn't be subjected to them without proper methods. She isn't in the business of rehab, and probably shouldn't unless she's a trainer. Simple boarding can be very stressful too., depending on the place and dogs present.


Dave, I totally understand this, the issue I am having, is that we never got a CHANCE, she never even MET Tillie, I never even went to the facility! I sent all my paperwork in, asked her a few questions and she told me basically we weren't welcome ever at her facility. And Tillie CAN be good around other dogs, honestly she hasn't ever been off leash in a secure, friendly environment with other dogs and I TOLD the lady that and so I assume, based on that, that she wasn't even willing to give Tillie a chance.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

StarrLhasa said:


> Tammy:
> 
> Have you checked out www.DogVacay.com? Here is a link to some dogVacay Hosts in far Northern California.
> 
> ...


wow, awesome! thanks so much Starr! I will look into these sites!
And YES, we would LOVE to come down and meet you and your havs and spend some time in SF!! Life just gets so ding dang CRAZY for us in the fall, it's insane and getting worse each year!! lol Someday for SURE though! thank you so much for the invite!


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## Alexa (Jun 17, 2007)

where do you live? I don't come to the forum often, so I don't know...but it sounds like somewhere north of San Francisco...which could be Eureka or Portland or Seattle, LOL.


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## Tuss (Apr 22, 2012)

I think things can easily be misinterpreted over email. I would swallow your pride, call her and discuss it. Perhaps a start would be you showing up with Tillie so she can witness Tillie in person and see how she interacts with a few dogs while you are there. If you get a good sense of the place them maybe you woudl be confortable leaving her there. It is funny; my dogs are apparently little angels at daycare when i'm not there, but if i'm there they get a little possessive with me and won't play and just bark. Other dogs are the opposite. 

Daycare/boarding isn't perfect, but it is necessary at certain times. I have a great daycare/boarding facility. they do reinforce a few bad behaviours (jumping up, begging), but i forgive that because they take great care of my babies.

Give the lady a call to discuss it further. Encourage her to meet Tillie in person before she writes you off completely.


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## jabojenny (Sep 18, 2011)

Hi Tammy, 
Sorry for you're troubles and try not to take it personally. Lots of great advice here and I second the following. Think outside the box, how about churches or posting on the community bulletin board at a library for potential options.

Great advice:


mamacjt said:


> What about talking to your vet and asking him if they have any ideas. Perhaps they know of someone, maybe even a client who has small dogs and lives alone. Like you said, a little old lady would be wonderful!


My cat's vet has techs who do a lot of stuff on the side like pet sitting. They have helped me out a couple of times with Zuzu's med schedule and even though its a cat hospital they will work with dogs.

Another great idea:


Brady's mom said:


> Do you have any children or do you know anyone who works in a school? A lot of times teachers are young and happy to make some extra money staying with someone's dogs.


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## marlowe'sgirl (Jun 17, 2010)

I'm with the crew that you accidentily raised a few red flags with your email - little socialization off leash, attached to you at the hip, etc. I'm sure Tillie would be fine - my Hav isn't the least bit aggressive towards any other dogs. But I think when you said little socialization, she imagined a fear-based aggressive dog joining the facility and those "It's Me or the Dog" small dog scenarios. Not many people have experience with the Havanese temperament, which to me is a 180 from most small yappy dogs.

If you don't have many other options, definitely swallow your pride - call and arrange for a half-day visit at the facility where, after the tour if you're comfortable, you leave Tillie and they see how she does. The owners can call you if it's not working out. All the daycare places in my area made me go through this ritual before my pup was 'accepted' as a client. They never took anyone's word for their dog's behavior


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

I know how you feel. we were "rejected" by a pet sitter once when we first got Cash... she really thought that we shouldn't keep him in an xpen when we weren't there, that he would be happier let out with Jasper, but he was terrorizing Jasper. she came twice and left us a note saying she didn't have the time anymore! it was a bummer cause she was great, and only charged $10 a visit. sometimes the good ones get to be choosy.

Can you call her, and say you may have misrepresented Tillie? Does this woman have her own dog? perhaps you could suggest that she and her dog meet youand Tillie for a walk (close to her), so she can assess Tillie with only one dog. And then if all goes well, you could say I understand why you want to access her without me there, but I would feel more comfortable just coming to see your set up first. Could I come without Tillie? 

the boarding is the worst problem for us too. we finally found a couple who only takes a total of 4 dogs at a time, and since they have 2 and we have 2, when we leave them we know who's gonna be there. Ironically, they have a german shepherd and a terrier. My DH was so freaked out by the GSD...but the boys love her. And the couple is wonderful with dogs. We were nervous nellies too... we met them several times for walks... then we hung out with them and their dogs... and we left them for an overnight before we left them for a long weekend. and finally left them for a week. Now we're stressing because they had a baby... not sure what we'll do when the baby becomes a toddler. 

Good Luck.


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## Luciledodd (Sep 5, 2009)

It is worse than finding a babysitter for your children. I rented the house next door to my Vet's tech. She keeps other peoples dogs also. I am not bad to go into a house that I rented, but had to one day and the dining room was lined up with cages and she was at work. Even her own dog stays in a cage all day except for a 5 minute potty break at lunch time. I left her in charge of my chickens when we left a week ago. All she had to do was pen them up every night and feed, then let them out in the mornngs. We came in early and the chickens were penned up and no food. So now I have to depend on an employee to do the feed and all just for the chickens. No way Rosie stays with anyone around her. If an emergency comes and I have to leave in a hurry, she will go to the vet. Yes it is a cage, but I know she is safe and fed.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

seriously Lucille! because no one would consider throwing a child in the back yard or locking them in a cage and not feeding them. Although when it's 'just a dog' people WILL and not have a second thought.
Our society is so screwed up.


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## Luciledodd (Sep 5, 2009)

Her dog is a labradoodle and fills up the whole cage. I havee fussed at my renter several times about it. She said that the dog would get things off the counter, so I gave her a scat mat. The dog still stays in the cage. I really don't want the dog in my back yard, but did offer to let it in while she was a work. Luckily she turned me down. But lately she has just been letting the dog out to potty off leash. I couldn't help myself. I went over and gave her a good talking to about the major highway about 150' frm the house. I told her that Missy was not going to get run over on my watch. Think I scare the renter, maybe she will move.


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## My2Havs (Jun 5, 2009)

*Rejected*



TilliesMom said:


> but wait, okay, so Dave, you really think Tillie doesn't even deserve a CHANCE to try this kennel free place??
> 
> She is a well behaved, trained, smart, social, outgoing little girl, her only fault is loving people TOO much and not having had the chance to be around unleashed dogs because we don't have any friends that have dogs and there is NO way I subjecting her to the dog park.
> Is she loved? YES! Is she coddled and spoiled? NO.


I think you set her up with the info you sent her. Read your email again, it states "She isn't used to being around other dogs, so I am nervous about how she will do..... she hasn't ever had the chance to be off leash with any other dogs.....She is also VERY attached to me and will be very confused when I leave her." What else could she think but that it's not the best place for Tillie right now?

A doggie daycare is a very busy place, my dogs have never stayed at one either but I have been to several to check them out. Personally, I don't think it's a good place to put Tillie (or my dogs) for her first experience. It's not such a far cry from a dog park but more supervised of course.

I work for a pet-sitting agency in Folsom and they have people that board dogs in their homes (like dogvacay) and also do pet visits in the home. I can't believe there isn't someplace like that in Redding so I googled pet sitting in Redding, CA and came up with two good possibilities: www.waggingtailsredding.com and www.michaspetsitting.com --- www.sistercity.com also has pet sitters, you click on "Pet Care" towards the bottom of the screen for a search.

Good luck,
Dooley & Roxie's Mom ... Monica


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## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

Tammy, I know there is a Petco near you so check with the person who does their training if you haven't already. They might do pet sitting on the side, with a little training thrown in....our Petco trainer does. You never know. 
Didn't you come to a play date at my house with Katie one year? If so, then Tillie HAS been off leash with other dogs.
Sometimes vet techs or vet assistants will dog sit as well to earn extra money.
Good luck!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

Tammy , I agree with Monica, if you are unsure how Tillie would handle it, I wouldn't recommend it. You have to get a feel for how she will do offleash with others. That' not the environment to learn by the sounds of it.


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## MopTop Havanese (Sep 25, 2006)

Tammy- I remember Tilley being so scared at the playdate we went too, she didnt run and play too much with all the other dogs, she really wanted to be with you the whole time- I agree she would probably be so overwhelmed at a daycare. I bet she would do best being left at home and having someone come in once or twice a day to feed/play with her. Thats what I do with my dogs when we go somewhere. My dogs would do horrible in a daycare type setting!!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

I agree. Kodi is VERY social, but I would never leave him in a day care type setting.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

No worries of us trying the day care, since apparently we can't. lol
Thank you for all of your advice and observations!

I have found a possible sitter through the site Starr recommended and have already met with her! We will have a few playdates over the next couple of weeks to see how our dogs get along. She has a pomeranian, 3 cats and works from home!
When 1 door SLAMS shut in my face, you better believe I will find a window and crawl out anyway!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Good for you, Tammy! We know you'll ALWAYS do what's best for Tillie!


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## Momo means Peach (Jun 7, 2011)

TilliesMom said:


> When 1 door SLAMS shut in my face, you better believe I will find a window and crawl out anyway!


Go, Tammy! It sounds like you may have found a great window to crawl out of!


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