# Gender Confusion - He's a boy!



## marlowe'sgirl (Jun 17, 2010)

I have a loving male Havanese, but no one ever gets his gender correct and often forget after I've corrected them. His name is Marlowe (like the detective), but really goes by Mars (ie god of war - it's masculine!). He's nearly in a full coat (except the underside and sanitary grooming - he's not a show dog), and I give him a top-knot bc I like to see his gorgeous eyes. I never do bows, and he's got masculine collar (not that you can see it much) and a navy blue puffer jacket for when it's cold. Nonetheless, everyone thinks he's a girl. I was recently informed that most of the folks (they did an informal poll) at his doggie daycare (he goes 1x week for the past 6+ months) have assumed he's a girl until recently. It's not a big deal at all, but just wondering if anyone else has this happen on a regular basis to them. I mean no one knows what a Havanese is, but do most people just assume that long-haired dogs are girls.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

Interesting. I've never experienced this because I have a female. But it probably has something to do with the soft appearance of the Havanese. We'll see if the male owners have experienced this. ? Maybe the Rottweiler people experience their females being called males. ?


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Yes, that is my conclusion - that most people must assume that long-haired dogs are girls. We get it all the time as well - even, like you have stated, after they have been told Augie is a boy. Augie has a top-knot too, as he has the most beautiful eyes, and when the hair was over his eyes, he was not seeing things. He even has a thin red plain ribbon woven into his hair now for Christmas - I figured - might as well - people are going to call him 'she' anyway. We had relatives staying here for a week this past fall, and they were still calling him 'she' when they left. :frusty: I finally gave up and decided it was because they had female dogs and are used to referring to them as 'she'. Augie doesn't let it bother him.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

ound:That's funny Linda.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

Well, my dad, who has Alzheimers, lives with us and loves Abby but he always refers to her as "he"! It used to irritate me but now I just let it go and blame it on his condition!!!

Abby is also in full coat and wears a topknot! And she loves him so much whatever he calls her.......lol


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## fishie (Jul 25, 2010)

Everyone I've met automatically assumes Murphy is a girl. It doesn't bother me, but I do find it funny. Murphy doesn't care what they think he is, as long as they give him some attention!


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## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

I think it could be the top knot myself. Quincy has always been referred to as a male unless I had a top knot in. For some reason in most people I come across--hair do's,top knots,rubberbands,anything for hair has to do with a female. Dog or otherwise.

In stark comparison...Vinnie-our sheltie is almost always referred to as a female. ALWAYS. I know why that is and it has nothing to do with top knots in his breed ound: but it is the sweet,softness of his face....something everyone associates with a female. When Vinnie was going to school every day for his reading program,we were stopped at nausium on walks by adults. I actually asked them,and that was their replies. His sweet nature also played a factor,but almost 90% of the time,it was based on the look of his face.

who knew,huh?


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

Funny. I agree I think it's the long coat and top knot!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Julie said:


> I think it could be the top knot myself. Quincy has always been referred to as a male unless I had a top knot in. For some reason in most people I come across--hair do's,top knots,rubberbands,anything for hair has to do with a female. Dog or otherwise.
> 
> In stark comparison...Vinnie-our sheltie is almost always referred to as a female. ALWAYS. I know why that is and it has nothing to do with top knots in his breed ound: but it is the sweet,softness of his face....something everyone associates with a female. When Vinnie was going to school every day for his reading program,we were stopped at nausium on walks by adults. I actually asked them,and that was their replies. His sweet nature also played a factor,but almost 90% of the time,it was based on the look of his face.
> 
> who knew,huh?


I think with Shelties (and Collies, of course) they get called "she" because of the "Lassie" syndrome. Of course, Lassie wasn't REALLY a "she" either, but that's another story!

As far as Havs are concerned, I think it may be top knot related too. Kodi got called "she" during the brief time when we had him in a top knot. When we cut his bangs, people started calling him "he" again.


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

I think it's the top knot, too. Tucker was always referred to as "she" when he had one. The men in my family hated the "girl's pony tail" and since I had such trouble with his top knot breaking off I have started doing the Sierra Bangs on him. Since doing that people don't insist as much on calling him a "she" once I've told them he's a boy.


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Karen and Sheri: Do you have close-up photos of Kodi and Tucker's faces so I could see their 'bangs'? - knowing that they are in full coat otherwise. I would love seeing how this looks.


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## Pipersmom (Jul 27, 2009)

This is so funny because EVERYONE thinks Piper is a boy, even with a pink leash.

Maybe I should let her hair grow?


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

Julie, I think that's the same deal with your Piper... she has _short_ hair.

Linda, I'll try to get a picture of Tucker close up posted.


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## marlowe'sgirl (Jun 17, 2010)

Hmm - thanks for the replies and glad I'm not the only one! I do love his long hair - it's so soft. And since we survived the dreaded BC phase, I want to keep it. But I have considered alternatives to a topknot. I second Linda's request for full coat + bangs pictures and if anyone have good pictures of bangs on a Hav with "eyebrows", I'd love to see them.


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

Okay, the first picture is of Tucker with his top knot. I really like a top knot better, but it kept getting shorter and thinner because somehow it breaks off easily.

The second is from a week ago, while he's hugging a friend, without his top knot. His hair is very soft and cottony, so the individual hairs don't show much, but maybe you can get the idea. I tried to get them to copy larger so maybe you could see better.


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Thanks, Sheri, for posting pictures. I like Tucker's topknot too. But Tucker is a handsome boy any way you have his hair. Is it pretty short between his eyes? And does it just stay back like that? all the time? without 'product'? And how do you make it meet the long parts - does it just go from short to long or is it tapered?? I need to go to grooming school!  Augie's hair is fine and soft and more cottony now and very wavy. And he does rub his topknot on the floor and it does cause breakage. I've been tempted to kind of jaggedly cut Augie's top head hair - I loved the way it was when he was a puppy - it just sort of stuck out in all directions.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

hmm, this thread has made me stop and pause and ponder because I can recall more than one instance where people thought Gucci was a boy, maybe it was her bitchy attitude or ....IDK? But then again, I have to say Linda is right and most people think long haired dogs (especially white ones) are girls and malteses for that matter, my friend has a white dog that looks nothing like a maltese and people still ask if it is (he's like 20 lbs, too)..

I honestly don't think top knots are girly. Gucci likes her hair pulled back/up, if I say "Let's fix your hair" she will come up to me and lay her head on my lap and that *trick* impresses more people than any other typical run of the mill dog trick, they think that is the funniest thing ever, and she'll tell me when she wants her hair 'fixed' by whining at her hair-accessory bag.....lol
funny stuff.

I have accused her of being a lesbian, so the accusation of being a male shouldn't surprise me too much, even though...I just don't see it.

Kara


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Oh, Kara - how funny ound:ound: I wouldn't think it was her bitchy attitude that made people mistake her for a boy as isn't that a more female trait???  That is cute about Gucci putting her head in your lap for a 'do!


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

Bugsy is cream, has long hair and usually has a pony tail. Everyone thinks he is a girl, but it doesn't bother him.


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## The Laughing Magpie (Aug 20, 2009)

Yogi has hair that looks a lot like Tuckers people always think he's a boy and Misty who is small and white they think is a girl, I think it's their sizes. My Shih Tzu people always thought was a girl he most times had a top knot. Who knows.


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

motherslittlehelper said:


> Thanks, Sheri, for posting pictures. I like Tucker's topknot too. But Tucker is a handsome boy any way you have his hair. Is it pretty short between his eyes? And does it just stay back like that? all the time? without 'product'? And how do you make it meet the long parts - does it just go from short to long or is it tapered?? I need to go to grooming school!  Augie's hair is fine and soft and more cottony now and very wavy. And he does rub his topknot on the floor and it does cause breakage. I've been tempted to kind of jaggedly cut Augie's top head hair - I loved the way it was when he was a puppy - it just sort of stuck out in all directions.


Linda, I love Augie's hair and look!!

I just measured Tucker's hair; between the eyes it is the shortest and is about 1". It gets slightly longer, but would like it to taper in better and not so abruptly. With time I will let it grow longer, as long as possible without it getting down in his eyes again. It stays back on it's own as long as it is short enough, the hair seems to hang on to itself up to a certain point. (I don't know where that point is yet.)

If you can find the thread here on "Sierra Style Bangs" similar, she posts really good pictures on how to do this. Tucker's hair is softer than Sierra's, though, and isn't so spiky because of it. I like it spiky, too, like when they were a puppy.


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## Jammies (Apr 4, 2009)

It is bad enough when strangers call your dog by the wrong sex, but I can't figure out after having female dogs for 20 years my husband callsour dogs "he". And if someone has a male dog, he calls it a "she". Go figure.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Sheri said:


> I think it's the top knot, too. Tucker was always referred to as "she" when he had one. The men in my family hated the "girl's pony tail" and since I had such trouble with his top knot breaking off I have started doing the Sierra Bangs on him. Since doing that people don't insist as much on calling him a "she" once I've told them he's a boy.


Yeah, Kodi's hair didn't break off, but I could tell it was going to... it's just so fine that there was no way that it could withstand that on a daily basis... and I need to see those gorgeous eyes!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

motherslittlehelper said:


> Karen and Sheri: Do you have close-up photos of Kodi and Tucker's faces so I could see their 'bangs'? - knowing that they are in full coat otherwise. I would love seeing how this looks.


It's hard to see because his face is so black... but here's a try.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Sheri said:


> Okay, the first picture is of Tucker with his top knot. I really like a top knot better, but it kept getting shorter and thinner because somehow it breaks off easily.
> 
> The second is from a week ago, while he's hugging a friend, without his top knot. His hair is very soft and cottony, so the individual hairs don't show much, but maybe you can get the idea. I tried to get them to copy larger so maybe you could see better.


I actually think he looks a lot more "natural" without the top knot. It blends in so well that it's hard to even tell it's been cut.


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## Lele (Nov 15, 2007)

marlowe'sgirl said:


> It's not a big deal at all, but just wondering if anyone else has this happen on a regular basis to them. I mean no one knows what a Havanese is, but do most people just assume that long-haired dogs are girls.


HAHAHA 
We go through this on a regular basis, so we have try to put it in writing:


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

I am having the worst time with Maddies bangs! her hair is to short for a pony tail so I bought clips and she pulls them out. So she walks around with her bangs in her eyes I can never see her eyes Maybe DIP A DE DO DA that tells you how old I am!:frusty:


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Thank you Karen and Sheri for posting the pictures! Wow, Karen, Kodi's face is sooooo BLACK! Holy cow! And he is sure pretty too. You two do such a nice job with Kodi and Tucker's coats. I think dogs hair is like human hair - grows different directions on different dogs, as does human hair. Some human hair grows nicely back from the forehead and some forward where you can't do anything with it. I think Augie's is a forward one, like mine. I am not quite at the point where I am going to start chopping at it....but getting close.  

Suzi, I remember that phase too. Too long to see the eyes, but too short for the pony. I love seeing the eyes too. Hav's have such beautiful ones I think.

Angela - that is funny!

Jammies mom - that is weird about your husband referring to your female dogs as 'he'??


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

krandall said:


> I actually think he looks a lot more "natural" without the top knot. It blends in so well that it's hard to even tell it's been cut.


Thanks, Karen. Kodi has such a deep, glossy black face. It's a good thing you are good with a camera, or we'd never know he had eyes! Ha!

He's a looker! I still like thinking about your obedience video, where he watches you with absolute attention. What a bond!


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

Lele said:


> HAHAHA
> We go through this on a regular basis, so we have try to put it in writing:


Angela, I laughed when I saw the picture of Lele in his coat! Perfect! ound:


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## Lele (Nov 15, 2007)

Sheri, it is written on his harness, let's try a better photo:


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Sheri said:


> Thanks, Karen. Kodi has such a deep, glossy black face. It's a good thing you are good with a camera, or we'd never know he had eyes! Ha!
> 
> He's a looker! I still like thinking about your obedience video, where he watches you with absolute attention. What a bond!


Thanks, Sheri. These guys just worm their way into your heart!


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## clari86 (Sep 20, 2010)

something similar happends to me, Selphie is a girl, she has a pink collar, and i put her pink sweater when we go out for a walk and people always say, awww he's soo cute, what is his name? OMG I always have to say its a SHE lol


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## Cailleach (Jan 30, 2010)

Love the pics everyone shared. My boy looks like a boy I think. He's never been confused as to looking like a female so far. Am I wrong?

Snapped these today...dull dark Canadian winter day and my flash didn't work. He's a hairy dude... the girls are growing coat like crazy also but I didn't get any pics worth posting. My show dogs are always in full coat and always have a top knot. The funniest comment I heard about him was that he resembled Wilford Brimley. I had to laugh cause it's rather true.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

Deb, that's so funny - Wilford Brimley? Nah, your boy is so much better looking!


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

I agree, the top knot, no matter what you put in it to hold it back, gives the impression of a female. It never fails, I don't bother to correct unless they ask the name...Sir Winston kinda gives it away. I had the same problem with my Lowchen, except I thought at the time it was the bare backside (lion clip) which confused them. I also noticed it with my poodles when they were in any clip except Puppy..always referred to as "she".


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Flynn, every time I see the photo of Sir W in your avatar, it makes me smile. He really does have long legs, made more pronounced by his coat. He is such a cutie!


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

Yes, that coat makes him look so like a little race horse!!! He is such a sweet boy, becoming more affectionate and he makes me laugh sometimes too, his nose is just between long and smooshed, his expressions are cute and sometimes he is just beyond adorable. I am so lucky to have "rescued" him last Spring. Thanks for the compliment, and I love Augie's looks, you know that..he is so handsome! You couldn't paint him to look prettier than he does!!


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## TrishK (Nov 29, 2010)

I have found that people often simply refer to dogs as he and cats as she.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

I love the photo Lele ..It's a Boy...that is darling where did you find it?


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

motherslittlehelper said:


> Flynn, every time I see the photo of Sir W in your avatar, it makes me smile. He really does have long legs, made more pronounced by his coat. He is such a cutie!


Linda, when I measured him for his coat he was 14" Tall and 14" Long!! He does remind me of a TT except for that nose and eyes!


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Flynn Gentry-Taylor said:


> Yes, that coat makes him look so like a little race horse!!! He is such a sweet boy, becoming more affectionate and he makes me laugh sometimes too, his nose is just between long and smooshed, his expressions are cute and sometimes he is just beyond adorable. I am so lucky to have "rescued" him last Spring. Thanks for the compliment, and I love Augie's looks, you know that..he is so handsome! You couldn't paint him to look prettier than he does!!


Aw, thanks Flynn! I think Augie is around 14-14.5 inches long and around 10.5 inches tall, so Sir W. is definitely much taller! And 'race horse' - YES! He does look like a race horse. Would love to see him in person. Augie has gotten much more affectionate too. They just keep getting better and better with age - just like their Moms - right?:biggrin1:

I love the "It's a boy" vest or harness too.

And the Wilford Brimley look-alike! Funny!


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## Lele (Nov 15, 2007)

Flynn, you can find it here:
http://www.k9-usa.com
It's a very common harness, you can have written whatever you like along the sides


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Flynn Gentry-Taylor said:


> Linda, when I measured him for his coat he was 14" Tall and 14" Long!! He does remind me of a TT except for that nose and eyes!


He is really cute, and I love his coat! Does he bound around on those long legs? He looks like he could be very fast!


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## Havakiss (Sep 5, 2010)

I can say that it is not all about the "topknot" because Bisbee doesn't have one and is ALWAYS referred to as a "her". Bisbee was never offended by this reference until he was recently neutered, now it really hurts his feelings

I have decided that the next male havanese I own I am going to name him BOY!


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## Cailleach (Jan 30, 2010)

Flynn Gentry-Taylor said:


> I agree, the top knot, no matter what you put in it to hold it back, gives the impression of a female. It never fails, I don't bother to correct unless they ask the name...Sir Winston kinda gives it away. I had the same problem with my Lowchen, except I thought at the time it was the bare backside (lion clip) which confused them. I also noticed it with my poodles when they were in any clip except Puppy..always referred to as "she".


Oh My...lol. My husband has really long hair and is a pretty big guy, never would be confused as a she. We often laugh that the dogs, myself and the man all have ponytails.


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## LilyMyLove (Jul 11, 2009)

People are just wierd about dogs and gender. People will see Lily around in a pink harness-(even when she has been grown out) she could even have a bow and say "What a cute little guy" or "How or is he?" it used to bug me, but I love my little tomboy.


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## jetsetgo! (Aug 3, 2010)

It's funny, I always think of dogs as boys!


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## galaxie (Dec 1, 2009)

"ROSCOE" is also a girl to about 96% of the population. I just correct them until it's hammered into their brain. LOL


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

First photo is Augie after his bath today after being blow-dried. He is a bit poufy! The second one is with his fresh new 'girly' hairdo!


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

He's SO handsome! I want to hug him!


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## Cailleach (Jan 30, 2010)

Love it...


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

Augie is so cute Maddie thinks he looks like Cousin It from the Adems family .
Linda you are lucky he will let you put his fancy due in you will have to teach me some day!


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Thanks, ladies! Yes, he is pretty huggable after his bath. He does pretty well with holding still for his topknot - cuz he knows there is a treat afterward. When we're finished getting it in, he hops down and stands there and looks at me like.......well?? Where is it?? He expects to get paid for his work/cooperation.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

Augie is such a handsome guy! I love seeing those big beautiful eyes!


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## O'Bluff (Jan 29, 2011)

I think the Havanese are almost too pretty to be boys!

My German Shepherd, Heidi, was often mistaken for a male. Dark eyes, intense stare, in your face attitude (sounds like my wife). Gotta love a tough woman!


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