# Awkward Havanese Playdate



## curly_DC (Nov 27, 2011)

Sergio and I met one of my neighbors, a young woman with another Havanese, named Desi. I guess we both wanted our Havanese to have Cuban boy names. Both dogs are about the same age, 2, and both have been neutered.

We scheduled a playdate for Desi and Sergio yesterday in the small dog park. We took them off leash. Desi was trying to "engage" Sergio at first. My dog acted like a little stuck-up snob!! (I know that's not possible for a dog, just me assigning a human trait to him.)

They did some sniffing around each other. The closest Sergio let Desi get to him, Desi started "humping" him!! Desi's mom took him off of Sergio. 

There were two large dogs playing on the other side of the fence, and they were just romping and rolling with each other, and their two dude owners were standing by watching them. No way would Sergio or Desi have enjoyed playing with them. 

My dog wasn't enjoying himself.

I worry sometimes that Sergio is completely bored with just me, but when I give him opportunities to play with other dogs, even another Havanese, he doesn't enjoy himself. He sits right by ankles. 

My apartment complex is having a happy hour in the dog park this Thursday, and I told my neighbor I probably would go and leave Sergio at home. I don't think I want to keep pushing him to be the little social butterfly he isn't. 

How important is to you that your dogs are "social" with other dogs, besides your own?


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Its not your fault. Gucci is very much like this, she prefers humans to dogs, period.

Just like some humans are more extroverted and social than others, and some humans prefer to observe and are a bit more reserved, I think the same personality traits can be found in dogs.

I've been utterly EMBARRASSED at some of Gucci's behavior at play dates, growling at dogs that come sniff her rear, the thing with Gucci is she is allowed to sniff butt, but NO one is allowed to sniff her rear...ound: Its comical, but embarrassing when I want her to play and have fun. She'll jump up on the humans at the party and wag her tail, or sit at my side and watch the other dogs. Don't get me wrong, she will occasionally play with a few of them, she likes Breizz (my friend's hav) and she likes a few other dogs in our group but is snotty towards others, diva-like behavior..

Her name really fits her so well,lol

But I think just because they aren't social with some dogs doesn't mean they won't be social with any dog, she has warmed up to a few even though her alpha role is established right off the bat.

Or maybe Sergio was just 'off' that day, some days they may not be up to the socialization.

Kara


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## StarrLhasa (Jun 6, 2010)

Once my dogs warm up to other dogs, they enjoy playing with them, but they are a little standoffish at first.

Is it possible that Desi has never had the opportunity to learn how to play with another dog? I have adopted dogs that had never played with toys and did not know what to do with them. It took a lot of effort to get them interested.

I would recommend that you keep exposing Sergio to other small dogs, especially your neighbor's Desi, so he can have a chance to warm up to him and maybe even learn the play signals.

My neighbors 2 year old dog does not seem to understand the play signals that buster shows him. He goes into a play bow, and then when Milo (the neighbor) does not respond, Buster barks at him. Buster does the same thing to Buffy. he barks at her when she does not respond to his bow. 

I think that Milo does not respond because he was taken from his mother and litter at 4 weeks of age. He missed out on learning to play with siblings.

I don't remember if you said that you have taken him to any training classes, but you might want to expose him to other dogs in a class setting with a trainer able to give you feedback.


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

It sounds like Sergio might not have been socialized well early one. Keep bringing him places! The more he is exposed the more he will relax and have fun.

In all the years that I have been doing playdates there have been some who wouLd never play. But after coming over and over again they learned that it is ok to play and now they love the


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Playdates. (sorry it the button too soon). 

Don't count him out yet. He might surprise you


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

some dogs just don't play with others. we ended up getting Cash because we thought we needed to bring Jasper out. after 5 years together they wrestle a bit. But mostly, If Cash wants to play...we play with Cash and Jasper watches. a bored dog, is usually a destructive dog. If Sergio is not getting into mischief I would not worry too much. 

We went through great lengths (even an animal communicator who told us Jas was a cat in another life  ) trying to get Jasper to a be "like other dogs" when in fact he is just a great little dog who takes care of himself.


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## narci (Sep 6, 2011)

Thumper said:


> Its not your fault. Gucci is very much like this, she prefers humans to dogs, period.
> 
> Just like some humans are more extroverted and social than others, and some humans prefer to observe and are a bit more reserved, I think the same personality traits can be found in dogs.
> 
> ...


Oreo is the same way. He loves people more then other dogs.

Kinda embarassing when we took him to puppy class that he just sits there or go find humans to harass while other dogs play.

Some dogs he'll get along with and some others he'll just growl and try to bite them.


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## Becky Chittenden (Feb 4, 2009)

Mine are pretty social but they also want to "ride" other dogs no matter what sex. They play, ride, play, ride. I think, with time and more exposure, your dog will be more social. I wouldn't worry about it.


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## curly_DC (Nov 27, 2011)

Becky Chittenden said:


> Mine are pretty social but they also want to "ride" other dogs no matter what sex. They play, ride, play, ride. I think, with time and more exposure, your dog will be more social. I wouldn't worry about it.


Riding is dog play? I didn't know that. I thought once male dogs were neutered they didn't do that anymore. I've not seen Sergio do that. He looks like he doesn't want another dog doing that to him. A maltese did that to him once when we stopped to talk while on leash.

As for socialization in a training class, I work with a trainer with Sergio for about an hour a week. The training is mostly for me as a new and first time pet parent.


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## Atticus (May 17, 2011)

"ride" love that term ! This is hard but these dogs are communicating and reacting in ways we don't know. Our ideas of what may or may not be fun for them are often wrong. If you can, let go of your expectations and keep him safe and not too stressed and he may surprise you with more exposure he may react differently. Ever meet someone you just didn't warm up to the first few times you met? We all want our dogs to just run and play and have a ball and make us proud but ........... often doesn't work that way. He seems like a sweetie take heart,welcome to the world of dogs!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

curly_DC said:


> Riding is dog play? I didn't know that. I thought once male dogs were neutered they didn't do that anymore. I've not seen Sergio do that. He looks like he doesn't want another dog doing that to him. A maltese did that to him once when we stopped to talk while on leash.
> 
> As for socialization in a training class, I work with a trainer with Sergio for about an hour a week. The training is mostly for me as a new and first time pet parent.


 Nearly all mounting is a form of play. If you want a great article on this , email me privately. Neutering or spaying doesn't stop mounting . Your question is one you have to answer yourself. If you feel you can't make progress with his socialization and you are happy with it then I wouldn't worry about it. Here is where the trainer can be helpful though. I would work on this only . Yes , you are there to learn but in the end , the best interests of Sergio, are, I'm sure, in your heart.


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## siewhwee (Sep 24, 2009)

I don't post a lot, but lurk. Anyway, here is my experience with my dog Ralphie, interacting with other dogs. We are visiting in California for a semester, since January. I was apprehensive about taking Ralphie to the dog park, but decided to give it a try. He is more of a people dog. It took him a month before he "loosen" up. He'd rather go to the humans than the dogs, or just sniff around. Now he can't wait to go to the park. He gets impatient if I am slow to get going. Once he is there, he rushes into the small dog section, sniffs around a bit, greets the humans first, and then play with the other dogs, tumbling around, mouthing, chasing, riding, getting ridden. He has special "friends" that he looks out for, and goes bonkers when he sees them entering the park. He divides his time between the humans and the dogs. After each visit, he comes home, hungry, tired and very happy. We, especially, Ralphie, are going to be sad when we leave to go home to New York, as we have no dog park where we live.


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## SnickersDad (Apr 9, 2010)

I have a similar problem with both Snicks and Snoops --- Take them to the Dog Park and all they want to do is hang around the humans..... Unless I take them out of the park and let them play around on the Baseball diamond or the picnic area -- then they will run and play with each other, and if another dog happens to be out also they'll attempt to make friends with them. Don't know what it is about the "dog" part of the park -- they just really prefer playing away from the other dogs. It's not that they don't get along with the other dogs, they do, they just won't participate in the "play".... Go figure.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

I don't think you can make them all social just by early socialization, I know Gucci was around other dogs and I took her to play dates and to see other havs when we first got her, she had plenty of opportunity to learn some social graces, but just is more of an people dog than a dog's dog..

We did the puppy preschool, play dates, all of that, breeder had her exposed to other dogs, her litter mates.

I remember one of the pictures the breeder sent me and telling me that Gucci preferred to sit up perched and watch her litter mates play and in the picture, there is Gucci, sitting next to the breeder's DH watching the other puppies be puppies.. lol and that she would ditch the dogs to go hang out with the humans, that never changed when she came here.

But that doesn't discourage me from taking her to PD's, I still like to socialize with other hav'peeps and dogs 

Kara


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

Maddie is very social and dogs love to ride her. Zoey is shy and the other dogs stay away from her. We moved in with two dogs. Ive lived here for about 3mo . We have a very aggressive American Eskimo dog that scares Zoe. The dog wont let her walk around him she goes in a corner or waits for me to walk in front of him. Its weird because Maddie plays and ruff houses with him. The dog knows he is in control of her and treats her different. What really gets me is once we are all out side Zoey will follow him and smell him even touches his nose. Its strange. I don't leave them alone together the dog has a crazy side to him. She has come a long way in the past three mos with people but still has a fear of bigger dogs. I know its because she has had a few lunge at her when she was very small That was my fault and I feel bad. We have a neighbor with a Maltese she wormed up to him so fast like they were best friends. I would take him to the get together and keep trying. Does he like running after balls?


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## curly_DC (Nov 27, 2011)

*Another dog happy hour*

So Sergio and I went to the dog happy hour at my apartment complex tonight. I had a glass of white wine and spent time keeping a dog named Pluto from "riding" my dog. It doesn't look like Sergio knows how to "defend" himself. There were dog vendors present, and I think we found a good dog walker who walks my friend's Havanese.


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## morriscsps (Aug 17, 2010)

Jack is a 'serial' humper. He will hump anything smaller than him unless the other dog is confident enough to tell him to back off. I do everything to distract Jack but it only lasts for a few moments and then he is back trying to hump a dog's ear, ribs, etc... He has terrible aim.


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## curly_DC (Nov 27, 2011)

morriscsps said:


> Jack is a 'serial' humper. He will hump anything smaller than him unless the other dog is confident enough to tell him to back off. I do everything to distract Jack but it only lasts for a few moments and then he is back trying to hump a dog's ear, ribs, etc... He has terrible aim.


That is hilarious!! This is now the THIRD dog that has tried to "hump" my guy Sergio. He has quite the sanitary trim, where his little butt is exposed. I don't know if that's what it is or just easy access.

I did notice there was a cute little Beagle who does the "play bow" no humping, and Sergio actually responded to that! This Beagle has walked by us on leash and done the "play bow" toward Sergio, and now that I've seen the DVD and I understand the dog isn't lunging aggressively toward my dog, I relax his leash a bit so he can also engage in play with the other dog.

I just would like to see more dogs at the dog parks that do the "play bow" instead of humping. It just looks gross, because Sergio is NOT enjoying it. It looks like they're pro-creating more puppies.


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## curly_DC (Nov 27, 2011)

I just read an article about dog parks that posturing over a dog is dominating, to include growling, attacking, or mounting. The advice is to take your dog and leave the dog park. I think I have tried dog parks enough for now.


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