# Mango :(



## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Hi all..
Some very unfortunate news about Mango.....
After some serious thought and many many tears we have decided to give back Mango to the breeder to find another forever home...
It was alot more difficult to take care of both puppeis and our parents who take care of Beamer during the day do not have enough energy for the 2 of them..

In the end it is best for Mango to go to a different family for him and for us... he deserves 100% attention..
We took hom home this afternoon and he was very excited to see his breeder and the gang... it was VERY upsetting for me to leave without him... probably the worst feeling i have ever had..

Getting 2 of these little guys was pretty much all by emotion.. for those of you who followed the 'mango' saga from the start, you will recall that this is the 3rd mango.. the first was a miscarrige, the 2nd had a heart deffect, and now this perfect little mango... 
When we found out about Mango #2's heart defect we bought Beamer on pure emotion the very next day.. (best purchase i've ever made..)
But we still had it in our heads that we had to get the 3rd mango just because of the emotional connection... Obviously we should not have followed our hearts but our heads...
It was extrmeley difficult decission to make, but at the end its better for all involved...

I hope I do not receive any harsh comments from you all... this message is more of an FYI... and no response is really nessasary... I just wanted my friends to know what is going on with Mango..
I hope Mango finds the perfect home ASAP...
Thanks...
Ryan      

PS- i think Beamer is more happy being the only one in our lives....


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

This had to be an extremely difficult decison to make. I'm sure you gave it plenty of thought and made the best possible choice for your family, your dog, and Mango. He is young and adorable and will have another family soon where he will be a perfect fit! You're very brave to make such a hard choice. :hug:


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## anneks (Mar 13, 2007)

Awwww I know it must have been a very hard decision for you. I am sure you did the right thing. He will go to another loving home were he can get all the attention he needs. Maybe when Beamer is older you will find it easier to take in a second dog. Two puppies would definitly be a handful! For now just focus on giving all your love and attention to that beautiful boy Beamer.


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## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

Ryan,

I know this is a very difficult decision for you. Sometimes when we are sad about something - someone else is elated.

Sissy's story - I was searching for a havanese and wanted the cream apricot combination. I looked and looked - finally came across the perfect one - I had never seen her on the puppyfinder before. I contacted them and they were in South Dakota. I called them and found out that really the puppy was in Oklahoma City - 2 hrs from me. The breeder had put her puppies on the internet and sold them all - but the lady that bought Sissy was having some
physical problems and decided to not come pick her up. So a friend of the breeder in South Dakota put her on her website because the breeder was having trouble with her website... to make a story short.. The day the lady decided not to take her - I FOUND HER..... 

I just thank God everyday - she has made my life so wonderful.

We think about that often and are so thrilled we have her. Mango will
find his right home and love it. He's so adorable.

Marie


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## Paige (Sep 12, 2006)

Ryan, don't feel bad about your decision. You did what was best for Mango, Beemer and your family. I know you must miss him. I have three and I know that adding more is alot more work. Mine were spaced out a little further, I can't imagine having to potty train two. Now you can focus on Beemer, and think about another one when he is fully trained.


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Oh 
Ryan, I am so sorry that you guys had to go thru this emotional time. You are very strong people who made a very difficult decision for you, but the best for Mango. I had to return a Lhaso Apso that I adopted and I cried for a week, but I know it was the best decision for the pup, and for our family.
We are thinking about you!!
Laurie


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Hi again..
Thanks for the nice comments...
I just feel so foolish... I've been talking about 'Mango' since February... and now i finaly have a mango.. and I send him back within 3 days... I feel like an idiot..


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Please dont feel like that, you had the best intentions and it just didnt work out. You know in your heart, that it was the right decision for your guys and for Mango. It is a very hard thing to do, but you did it for him! Maybe once Beamer is grown and trained you guys will be ready for another. It had to have been hard to potty train two!! Its too bad someone on the forum couldnt have adopted him! Maybe his new forever owner will keep you updated on his progress. 
Laurie


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## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

Hi Ryan,

I'm sorry that things didn't work out. But it really sounds like you thought it through and made a good practical decision. I guess that doesn't make it feel any better though. I hope each day gets easier for you. And give Beamer an extra big hug tonight! :hug:


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## Leeann (Feb 28, 2007)

Ryan, this had to be a very hard decision for you and your family. Its nice to know that you were thinking of Beamer, everyone in your family and little Mango and were strong enough to make a decision that in the end will probably be best for everyone. Enjoy Beamer growing up and spoil him with all your love.


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## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

Ryan,

I don't ever think you would hear harsh words from most of the people on this forum (unless you did something cruel). Everyone here is very great and understanding.

What a tough decision to make but you did what was best for everyone including Mango. *Good *people always do the best they can for the things they love. In your case, it meant giving Mango to another family. I applaud you for making such a tough decision. It takes a *strong loving person *to do that.


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

Ryan, Thanks for letting us know. I know how hard it must have been. I absolutely can see how you could get emotionally wrapped up in finding the perfect Mango after what you went through. I truly believe that we get(keep) the dogs we were meant to have. There was a reason for you to foster Mango for this little while, to meet Beamer, and to focus you on what was best for your family---and perhaps because of his stay with youhe will be better suited for his forever home. 

Give Beamer an extra belly rub tonight.


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## Sunnygirl (Jun 1, 2007)

You did a selfless thing by recognizing early on that this was not the right thing for your family, Beamer and Mango, and dealing with it right away. I'm sure another home will be found for Mango real soon. I know it must have been a very hard decision for you to make..


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## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

Ryan, we all follow our hearts sometime when we know we shouldn't. You did the right thing when you realized you had made a mistake. Staying with a mistake is the wrong thing to do.


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## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

I can see how easy it is to make an emotional decison to get another puppy. You made the more difficult decision--that it wasn't working out. My heart goes out to you. I hope the breeder keeps you updated on the new forever home that Mango goes to. I am sure that you and Beamer will always hold a special place in his heart.


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## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

Ryan, I'm so sorry it didn't work out but you did the best thing for yourselves, Beamer and Mango. Sometimes the best decisions are the hardest ones. Just think how very happy another family will be to have Mango. These little ones grab our hearts, that's for sure, and sometimes it's hard to be logical about them. 

Give Beamer and your wife a big hug from us!

Susan


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

Ryan, I think it takes a smart person to realize their limits and not just try to make it work out of pride or whatever else may motivate you. 

I hope you feel a little relief from your decision.


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## Brady's mom (Dec 1, 2006)

Ryan, I so sorry that things didn't work out for you with Mango. I think you did a wonderful thing by realizing it so soon and I am sure that he will find a wonderful forever home. I know how sad you must be, but I am sure that you made the best decision for you and your family (Beamer included). Don't forget those extra belly rubs for Beamer!!


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## TnTWalter (May 9, 2007)

*Ryan*

Mango is such a handsome little guy, I'm sure he'll be snatched up by someone GRATEFUL that they were able to get him.

You all just need to cuddle and grieve, but you made a wise decision; and it's better you did it now than 6 months from now.

Trish


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## Poornima (Jun 29, 2007)

Hi Ryan,
I can only imgaine how agonizing it must have been for you to make this difficult decision. Mango soon will have the best life possible in another loving and caring home as he continues to have your family's best wishes with him.

Best,
Poornima


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Very tough decision and I completely respect it especially since you made it early on. Mango will adjust very easily to another home that will be able to give him more attention. You can also concentrate on Beamer. Maybe in the future there will be a better time. I think having 2 years in between my girls allowed me to really train them and forget about the crazy puppy stage!

When I was in college, my roomate and me went to walmart and there was a guy there with free puppies. Well she took one and lets just say Jack Russells are adorable puppies but when you are gone 8+hours a day they become nightmares. She didn't have the time and I started to hate that dog because it chewed up everything and was a monster. My roomate didn't do much with him and he was becoming very destructive because he had to release energy that wasn't being exercised out. She contated the Jack Russell club and they placed him in a very active home. I absolutely balled my eyes out that day (and I didn't even like the little monster!) but knew it was the best thing for him.

Hugs,
Amanda


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## lcy_pt (Aug 17, 2007)

Thank you Ryan for having the courage and strength to not only make your decision now but to also 'face' the forum. And on both counts you must know you've made the right decision. We all just want the best for these wonderful dogs.

Being a new member, it's very easy to get caught up in the wonderful stories, pics and advice. It already feels like I have my new puppy here.

But thank you VERY much for having the courage to post your decision. It has made me step back from all the excitement of looking and start to fully put into perspective adding even one puppy to our family. I thank you very much for that.

The _very_ best to you and your family

Pat


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Ryan,

I'm really sorry for everything you've been through with the first Mango up to now, I can see how you just ran on emotion.

It would probably be easier to train one puppy at a time, and I'm certain Mango will find a loving home and be doted on 24/7. I'm sure you and your wife made the best decision for yourselves, Beamer and Mango. I know it hurts right now, but it will all work out for the best.

I was SO scared when I saw the title of this post!! I was afraid Mango 3 was ill  I'm relieved he's okay.

I don't think anyone could get upset with you, or judge you...for putting the best interest of these Havanese first.

Kara


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## RedHeadedGator (Oct 4, 2006)

Ryan - I know that this must have been a difficult decision for you and your family, but it was the right one. I'm sure the breeder will find a loving home for Mango in no time at all! More loving for Beamer! :biggrin1:


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## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

Ryan, I give you credit for making this very tough decision. As as 2 Hav owner, I can tell you that at the beginning, I was ready to give Shelby back. I wanted to turn around and bring her back to the breeder the same day. It is overwhelming. When the time is right for a second one, I am sure you will find another perfect little pup.


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## Leslie (Feb 28, 2007)

Ryan-- You did what was right, not easy, but right :hug:


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## Lina (Apr 26, 2007)

Ryan, I'm sorry that it came down to this with Mango, but I completely understand why you did it. I have my hands full with Kubrick alone, I can't even imagine adding another puppy to the mix at this time.

At least now Mango will have more loving from a new family and Beamer will get more loving from you! :hug:


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

Ryan, that is definately a hard decision to make, but we are all here for you. Don't you worry, Mango is a lovely little guy that will find a forever home. Having two young puppies I am sure is very challenging, and it takes a really big person to admit their limitations. Ryan, you and your lovely wife will be ready, as your Beamer gets older, if more people were like you, more dogs would be happier in loving homes. It sometimes is hard to do the right thing, but a good person always will... Big hugs to you during this time. :grouphug:


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## dboudreau (Jan 12, 2007)

Ryan, :grouphug: You need to do what is right for your family. And only you and your wife know what is right. 

Maybe Mango will find his forever home close by and Mango and Beamer can enjoy playdates together.


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Hey guys.. Thanks for all the support!

I have to say, i take my hat off to all you guys that have 2 or 3.. or even 4?? I don't know how you do it? I'm assuming most of you that have multiples do not work fulltime? I think Olliesmom is the only one that works fulltime with 2??? I wish my wife and I did not have to work, I would hve loved to keep Mango... ughhh.. It was very hard waking up this morning and not seeing his crate next to the bed..

It was weird, Beamer could see we were upset and kept on coming over to us and outing his paw on our knees and acting very sad himself.. s slight whine every few minutes.. it was cute.. Then Beamer went over to the sliding glass door and was just sitting staring into the backyard for 15 minutes not moving.. never done that before?? 

Beamer is the best dog ever and we LOVE him to peices.. even more so now if its possible..


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## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

My husband and I work full time too. We didn't have two puppies at the same time though. Our girls were born 11 months apart so when we brought Sedona home McKenna was 14 months old. She was past the house training, nipping, teething stage so we only had to deal with one "puppy" at a time. I don't know how people with multiple puppies do it. 

Susan


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Ryan, I have 3 and work full time but I also work 1/8th of a mile from my home, with my hubby so we run home when needed. I think that 2 or 3 is doable for people who work, but not when they are all puppies & training at the same time!! Not just puppy training but the activity level exhausts you, so feel good that you did what was best for all of you. I hope you dont discount having a 2nd once Beamer is older.
Laurie


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

I do admire all of you who have more than one - you are amazing! I find the one challenging, especially with Oreo's tendency to be a "wanna be" Alpha. I should have named him Napoleon.  Ryan, don't worry, Mango will find his forever home and it would be nice if it is close by, so that you can continue to see him. Hugs.


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## Leeann (Feb 28, 2007)

I work full time also and my boys are 13 months apart. It did make it easier having the first one trained before the 2nd one came home. I also got the added bonus that Riley loves to correct Monte.. Every time I would say the word “no” Riley would come running over, grab Monte and growl just like a mommy would. Although my DH says I have put way too many ponytails in Riley’s hair and he now thinks he a girl..


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## Olliesmom (Sep 29, 2006)

You did what is right for all of you! Ollie was 11 months old when we got Austin and I had about 2 weeks of "oh my gosh, I do the right thing?" Only difference was I would never say that outloud as my DH might have said - told you so! Ollie was also such an easy puppy and was overly - if that is possible- housetrained! and very NON alpha!

I can't imagine life without 2 now but I do believe timing is soooooo important! I also have a puppynanny come in once a day which is a must in our house!

I know you must be sad...but you are the perfect parents....you did what you did out of love! The time may come when you are ready! Even then you may want to consider an older pup - Austin was 6 months and he is my wild crazy fun adorable demanding sweetie!


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## CinnCinn (Mar 30, 2007)

Kudo's to you Ryan. It's always harder to do the right thing. Mango WILL find a wondeful fur-ever home! I was wondering how you were doing. We got our 2nd puppy 3 weeks ago, and boy it *IS* a lot of work. 
What's one more? ALOT!! I'm picking poop off the floor while the other one is peeing on the floor. Our offices are in the house, so I'm here, and so is our staff! They all help out. It takes a village. whew.

Please don't beat yourself up over this, I think we can all relate (at one time in life) to making an emotional decision that we later regretted.

I hope your heart heals soon,
CC


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

Ryan, this made me think about what I went through when we brought Cash home. I really wanted to give him back- but my husband would have none of it. I think if we had had children or parents to take care of- cash would have gone back.

I got a kick out of re-reading these posts---How incredibly excited I was about a 2nd puppy and how I fell into a deep, deep, post pupdom depression once he arrived... it may help you to know that you are not alone

http://www.havaneseforum.com/showthread.php?t=282&highlight=adding

http://www.havaneseforum.com/showthread.php?t=370


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## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

I think you deserve a big hug,for doing the right thing for Beamer and your family.:hug:
I'm sure it was an agonizing decision,but you and your wife know what is best and what you are capable of doing.Recognizing it and acting on it,is a true test of who you are........Kudos to you.......
I'm sure Mango will find a good loving home through his breeder.
eace:


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

Ryan,

It takes a strong and selfless person to realize that what we want and what we must do don't always coinside. And it takes an even stronger person to do what you did - return the puppy when you would have rather kept it, because it was better for you, Beamer and Mango. Mango is still really young and he will find a perfect loving home where he will be number one. 

You did the right thing for everyone concerned, my hat is off to you.


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## marjrc (Jan 13, 2007)

I'm sorry I haven't posted in this thread yet, Ryan. I saw the heading, read a page or two, but then had to run off and just now have a minute to reply. I also think you did the right thing. It doesn't mean that it doesn't hurt or suck because I'm sure it does.  It's hard to come to that kind of decision, but things would not have been good for any of you if you'd felt so guilty and kept Mango anyway. You did what was best for him as well as for your own family. He's very young.... it won't be an issure for him at all. 

Gosh, if I was really crazy, I'd have said "I'll take him!". I wouldn't mind having one of Cheryl's pups! LOL Of course hubby and kids would probably kill me ...... ugh! :brick: 

I hope with time, it gets easier for you and your wife. You both had such an emotional roller coaster trying to get your first Mango. It's understandable that you are now pretty tuckered out and just need to enjoy your one and only Beamer boy. I'm sure he's not complaining!! lol

((hugs))


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

Oh, I didn't realize that they are Cheryl's pups... how neat!! Big hugs to you and Marija, Ryan. :grouphug:


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## YesYvonne (Jun 29, 2007)

*gratitude*

Hi Ryan,
I just want to chime in here on this thread as the lucky one who got a Hav that was given back to the breeder by the first family who had him. If that hadn't happened, we wouldn't have Bounder blessings in our lives. Mango's new family will thank you too...

I know it wasn't easy for you but please let "doing the right thing" and happiness for Mango's new family prevail in your thoughts and feelings, much more than regrets...

Yvonne (and Bounder)


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Yvonne, that is really nice, as I never really considered how someone like you feels about the fact that without people like Ryan, you would not have your baby!! 

Ryan, I am sure a family out there is blessing you right now!!! 
Are you guys doing ok with all of this??
Laurie


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Hello..

Mango was not Cheryl's pup?? Who is Cheryl anyhow?? lol

Ryan


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

I'm pretty sure she meant Cheryl Drake of Ashtone Havanese. Isn't that where Beamer & Radar were born?


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Laurie...

I still think about Mango all the time.. its hard not to..
I wish I would have held/hugged him more now..  The first couple days I was trying to get him to stop his whinning and barking, so didnt give him much love while he was going nutso... now i REGRET it sooo much...


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## Beamer (Jan 29, 2007)

Yes, Beamer and Radar are from Cheryl Drake of Ashstone... Mango is from Anne Todd of Sineade.

Ryan


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Ryan, I certainly can understand how you feel, I did the same thing with Max before I gave him back. But I was sure that he went to a good home, and I am sure in your heart, you know the same about Mango. Will the breeder at least let you know where he is going, and what kind of family?? It would be so neat if it were local to you, them maybe you would feel better seeing him happy with his new family. You guys did the right thing - so stop beating yourself up - and go playwith Beamer!!!! 
Laurie


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## marjrc (Jan 13, 2007)

freeway1976 said:


> Yes, Beamer and Radar are from Cheryl Drake of Ashstone... Mango is from Anne Todd of Sineade.
> 
> Ryan


My mistake! Sorry. I assumed wrongly. 

How are you guys doing now, Ryan? Take care!


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## radar_jones (May 6, 2007)

Well other than PM's back and forth to Ryan about him having to give Mango back to the Breeder I must say that Ryan really made me think long and hard about what it must be like to have two Hav's. I always wanted one more and when I saw all the fun that Ryan and Marija were having with Mango and how Beamer was adjusting it made me think did I really want to get a second or was I just feeling left out because My Wife and I only had Radar. 

Sure it didn't de-value Radar or make him seem like he required a playmate. I would after all rather dedicate more of my time to Radar rather than having to divide my attention between two Hav's eventhough I would not find it hard to Love Two Hav's rather than just the one. I work quite a bit but less than my wife and I feel as though Radar has progressed pretty good with the potty training and I would feel as though a second Hav might not received the same effort or attention that Radar did and because if that the second one might not develop as well. I'm not sure how agreeable that statement is but I feel that way sometimes. Ryan has done a very brave and difficult thing and for that he should be praised. I'm just not sure I could have done the same. I've got that "Down with the Ship" mentality sometimes. It's my Curse (and the south italian in me).

Derek

Derek


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

I am sure it is very challenging - especially with the potty training in the beginning. That is why I am waiting until early next year to assess if Oreo has pushed past his issues, and of course, we have established ourselves as alpha to see if getting a second hav is feesible. I want a balanced pack and I am hoping that by then we will be ready. That is why I honestly do admire the multiple hav owners on this forum. Props to you for doing that and Ryan, big props to you and Marija for having a big heart.


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## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

freeway1976 said:


> Hi all..
> Some very unfortunate news about Mango.....


What a tough decision to make  I'm sorry it didn't work out but glad you know your limitations. 
No smacks from here. We all have tough choices in life to make and this couldn't have been easy on you.


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## havjump (Apr 18, 2007)

This is such a sad and emotional time for you and your family.
I hope it helps to know you have such support in what must have been an exceedingly tough decision.
Beamer is a very lucky dog to have such a caring family! 
Mango is sure to find his forever family soon.


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