# submissive urination/excited urination (is there a difference?)



## sewmeup (Jan 30, 2008)

Please help!!
Cee Cee has started to submissive urinate when my husband comes home from trips. He can be gone anywhere from 2-5 days and when he comes home she starts to whimper as soon as she hears the garage door open and then when the door opens she goes crazy and then pees. 

We are not getting along as a couple, so there are a lot of things going on in the home right now. I've asked him to ignore her when he walks in, but he always has to say "Hi" to her. 

Her crate used to be in the living room, and the behaviorist said it was O.K. to move it in my bedroom as I like to read, do crosswords, watch TV etc at night. My husband did not agree with this, so the other night when he can home from his trip, she barked and he crouched down and put his hand in the crate for her to lick and she went "potty" in the crate. Last night, he slept in another room, so when I got her out of her crate (which I moved back in the living room) she sensed he was in the other room and she nudged the door open and she when "potty" on the carpet by the bed. I'm beside byself and don't know what to do at this time.

PLEASE HELP!!


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## Tritia (Nov 17, 2007)

I'm sooo sorry you're going through this. Our bichon mix has done this since the day we got her. She's 3 yr olds now, and it's no better.
She does ok when we ignore her. Which sucks, cause we'd love to show her how happy we are to see her after being away for hours at a time. Like we do the other dogs. If the kids have friends over to play, we either have to put her up  Or tell them to ignore her completely. We've tried letting guests greet her outside, so she could do her thing out there. But as soon as they come in, she jumps in their lap and is so darn excited..she pees a little  It's come to the point she doesn't go anywhere with us like the others do. And only people that I know can handle it, are around her.
It's sad because she's the sweetest, most loving dog that just wants lots of attention from everyone! We spent tons of money and time with a behaviorist 2 yrs ago...in the end. It was no help 
I do hope you guys can nip this. Do all you can and QUICK.


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## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

Perhaps I am on the wrong track, but it seems like you have had increasing issues with Cee Cee and peeing for a few months. Could this be a way to manipulate you or you husband? How is she when he is gone?


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## sewmeup (Jan 30, 2008)

When I leave and come in I do my thing, then I'll go to the crate and leave her out and tell her we're going outside to go "potty" and NO problem. She doesn't get that excited when I come home. But, I don't baby her and sit on the sofa for hours petting her and giving her constant attention like someone does (for my benefit) either!!


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## Tritia (Nov 17, 2007)

So is this JUST with dh then? What about other family members, friends? When you take her out places?


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

you are doing the right thing but your husband probably isn't. Submissive urination is an involuntary appeasement signal that should not be reprimanded. When coming home keep it low key ,avoid eye contact or looming over the dog. I am not sure whether this is what is going on with your husband or whether your dog is fearful of your husband. You need to give more details. Does your dog show signs of stress near him. ie. low dragging tail cowering or avoidance?


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

If it was peeing from excitement, you don't make a big fuss and it's easier for them to handle. If it's submissive you will see her tail tucked and she will cower low. Then you avoid making eye contact and you go about your business with a positve energy until she feels more assured. 

I don't believe dogs manipulate people, but I do think they pick up on our energy. If things are rough between you and your husband, I'm sure she is sensing that.  Caesar says you don't have to make a big fuss when you get home for your dog to know you are happy. You feel happy and they get it. If you are feeling tension then she is getting that too. 

I'm sorry to hear your going through some rough times. :hug:


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## sewmeup (Jan 30, 2008)

As soon as she's done it "potty", you can tell that she knows she made a boo boo as she cowards with her tail between her legs. So, it's like she can't help it and has no control at that moment. I don't believe she's afraid of him, but when we're arguing she immediately goes into her crate. I definately can see that this whole thing between us is having an effect on her. If only I could keep her away from him while this was resolved, it would help but this is not possible. This only happens with him! He is a very controlling individual and of course it's all my fault and I've caused the whole problem!!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

sorry about your situation . Yeah dogs are affected by the emotions around them. Think about your problems first though. Once that is remedied quite often the dog will get over it .


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

sewmeup said:


> As soon as she's done it "potty", you can tell that she knows she made a boo boo as she cowards with her tail between her legs. So, it's like she can't help it and has no control at that moment.


What happens when she has the accident? I mean how do you (or hubby) handle it with her? She may not be cowering because she knows she's done something wrong. She may be cowering because she knows that now your gonna be mad. Do you see the difference? If she's anxious around hubby and can help it but make a nervous pee, then she will be only more anxious if she gets in trouble afterward.

Can you set a pee pad near the door and try to have her on it when he comes in? Maybe then it wouldn't be such a pain to clean up when it happens. I forgot to ask if she's pee pad trained. :brick:


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## sewmeup (Jan 30, 2008)

She's not pee pad trained, so that won't work I'm afraid. I've tried to train her on them for the winter months, but she just won't go!

The first couple of times she did this, I got upset with her, and now all I do is say "Cee Cee, let's go outside and go potty", or put her in another room and clean up the mess! What else can I do?


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

sewmeup said:


> She's not pee pad trained, so that won't work I'm afraid. I've tried to train her on them for the winter months, but she just won't go!
> 
> The first couple of times she did this, I got upset with her, and now all I do is say "Cee Cee, let's go outside and go potty", or put her in another room and clean up the mess! What else can I do?


awwww. I can hear how sad and frustrated you're feeling. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I hope some others come in and have good answers. I guess I'd try to made lemonaid out of lemons....set her on the pee pad and treat her when she does it. You're going through a rough patch and it surely won't be this way always but for now it might make a good opportunity to pee pad train her.


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## LuvCicero (Mar 31, 2008)

:hug:I'm so sorry you are going through tough times. I think the best thing also is for all to ignore Cee Cee when you come home till she calms down. Let her know it's no big deal when you come and go. They also pick up on the tone of your voice -- which I think is why she goes to her crate if you are auguing. So she could also be wondering -- is he in a good mood or a bad mood when he comes home -- and she wants to greet him but at the same time a little afraid. I don't know what I would do, but I think I would try to resolve the humans problems first -- then Cee Cee might be able to resolve her own. Good luck.


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

Woman to woman, I wish I could give you a hug or an arm to lean on. Instead, I'll just try to help you with a few ideas. Submissive urination has got to be one of the most frustrating behaviors, but there are a few ways you can deal with it.

First of all, your home situation is definitely contributing to the problem and you _can_ help that situation in a couple of different ways. You cannot change your husband or the way he deals with Cee Cee, especially when things are tense, but you can circumvent their interactions until you get past this. It will take work to make it happen though, so gear up for some preventative work and try to remove any frustrated & stressful emotions on your part. Cee Cee will definitely pick up on that.

When she does "leak", try to ignore the behavior, distract her with something more exciting "Cee Cee, get the ball" (or something that she really likes) and then clean it up without any further event. You need to change the mood right away. The purpose of this is that you need to start building up her confidence. Her sulking reactions are not because she knows she did wrong. (She isn't really capable of that.) She knows that a reaction is coming from her humans when Dad comes home and it isn't good, so change that tone.

Does your husband come home at the same time every day? Can you get her outside or take her for a walk to go potty right before he gets home? She will still have a little leakage, but it won't be nearly as much. (This will lessen your frustration on cleanup.)

Have you started any obedience training with her? If you can start a bond with her in this direction, it will help immensely. You can distract her with commands & rewards for following them. It will build up her confidence and it will also keep her focused on you when she needs to settle down.

If Cee Cee ever starts doing this with you too, make sure you avoid eye contact at the moments that are triggering it, and do not bend down to touch her, but instead walk to your back door (assuming you have a fenced yard) and call her (still avoiding looking her way), "Cee Cee, let's go outside" and lead her out there by example. After she has gone potty, then reward her by crouching down and then petting her (or giving a treat).

As always, I'd caution you to make sure this isn't a medical problem. If it is only happening around one person, it probably isn't, but just be aware so you don't overlook a potential alternate solution.

For additional information, these three links may be helpful:
Submissive Urination in Dogs - http://www.usask.ca/wcvm/herdmed/applied-ethology/behaviourproblems/suburine.html
and
Submissive Urination by Perfect Paws Training - http://www.perfectpaws.com/subr.html
and
Wet Greetings - http://www.clickandtreat.com/webart105.htm (includes the difference between excited urination & submissive urination)


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

In regard to your husband reaching into the crate in the bedroom:
If you are putting her in her crate, is she staying there for the night? If so, how about draping a bath towel over it until you go to sleep? That will keep the initial barking from happening and will allow her to go to sleep. When she barks, I think your husband is actually doing what most people would do - go over and stick their hand in the crate to reassure the dog, but if you can stop the barking from the beginning, it will eliminate the problem. If she makes a sound with the towel over the crate, just tell her simply, "That's enough Cee Cee. Thank you" and go back to what you were doing.


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## sewmeup (Jan 30, 2008)

Oh Kimberly, thank you for the websites and such wonderful advice. Now if he'll just listen, that's the problem I'm having as I don't know nothing and he's going to do what he wants with her!


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## Havtahava (Aug 20, 2006)

Yes, I don't think you can count on your husband to change his ways, especially while you two are already in a state of dischord. That is why I tried to offer things that you can do on your own and try to circumvent the behavior before he even gets home. The crate time in your room is going to be the hardest, but if you can get her to sleep before he enters the room, maybe that will be resolved too.

One on one training with her will be your best aid and will develop a good bond between you two!


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## The Fussy Puppy Gang (May 21, 2007)

Everyone has already given you excellent advice. I just wanted to say my heart goes out to you and Cee Cee and I hope things get better soon.

Definitely take advantage of those trip days to work on your bond with her and get her started with positive reinforcement training. It may take time, but it WILL make a difference.

Hugs to you and your precious Cee Cee :hug:


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

great advice from Kimberly . I hope you can resolve some of your personal issues by going to these articles that Kimberly has mentioned and work as a team to help Cee Cee.


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## good buddy (Feb 20, 2007)

:clap2: Yeah! Kimberly has some great advice for you. Hopefully things will all come together at your house and CeeCee will get through this little problem.


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## sewmeup (Jan 30, 2008)

I hope so, otherwise she's the sweetest little thing in the whole world! Not a mean bone in her body. Was so easy to take care of as a puppy and never got into any trouble as a little one and still doesn't. Why does she have to suffer? Thank you everyone for your wonderful advice and ideas. I'll keep you posted. Mommy and Cee Cee


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