# Timid puppy



## Anne1906 (Mar 17, 2015)

Our 5 month old puppy is quite timid. She barks at people when they come to the house, although the alert barking is ok with me. The problem is that she shys away from anyone or anything new. She is finally willing to let my husband pick her up without running away, but runs from my son and my father. I am trying to expose her to new places and people, but she won't even take a treat from a stranger if I am holding her. Our last havanese never met a stranger, so this was quite a surprise to us. I am going to have to do some traveling this summer and my extended family and sitters will be taking care of her for several days. I was hoping to encourage her to be a little more brave with newcomers before then. Any suggestions?


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

If this is happening on leash or once people are inside the house and greeted by you, it doesn't sound like alarm barking, but fear barking. "Get away from me!"

Keep exposing her to other people, especially men, if that's the larger problem, as it often is. HOWEVER, make sure this is done in a non-threatening way. Holding her and forcing her to stay near someone she is frightened of is likely to make her MORE timid. Try to arrange times where she can be free, or on a long enough leash that she can remain at whatever distance feels "safe" Have a conversation with the person, asking them for the time being to totally ignore her. to her. If she starts to move toward them, as she may do out of curiosity, have them toss some yummy treats on the ground near her, still not looking at her or talking to her. 

From this stage, over as long a period of time, over as many encounters as necessary… you can't rush this… if she will completely approach a person, ask them to offer her a treat from their hand. If she still won't take it, have them drop it for her. If she'll take it, they can quietly say something like "good girl!" They STILL shouldn't try to touch her though. 

Only when/if she is consistently going right up to strangers happily should you ask them to offer her a treat, offer the back of their hand, and if she happily accepts both, stroke her chest or side. (NOT her head!) Some dogs will never get to this point with strangers, and that should be respected. But almost all can get to the point where they can walk with you near strangers without becoming afraid.

As far as the relatives she is going to stay with are concerned, I would make sure she has lots and LOTS of positive experiences meeting them before you go away.

Finally, part of the problem may be that she is in a fear period, which typically happens around 6 months, but can be earlier or later. You would STILL handle it just the way I've outlined above, but she is likely to come out of it faster than a dog who is truly "shy" around people.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

I answered your pm. let me know what you find out.


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## BR3322 (Mar 29, 2015)

What good information. The trainer said that Carmen is shy. I will keep this in mind as I walk her. She is a little afraid to ride I. The car as well so we are taking her on short rides to get her used to it. She is improving.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

BR3322 said:


> What good information. The trainer said that Carmen is shy. I will keep this in mind as I walk her. She is a little afraid to ride I. The car as well so we are taking her on short rides to get her used to it. She is improving.


The key with all of these fears is to keep the exposure "under threshhold", meaning approach only as far as she can do without showing true fear. Then from THAT distance, feed her yummy treats. (if she won't take treats she usually likes, it is a sign that you are too close!)

My Pixel is pretty fearless for 9 week old pup, but we were at a get-together with another same-gae litter today. She did great with the other puppies, their Beardie, their GSD, the rabbit and an African Grey Parrot who makes clicker noises and also sounds like a smoke detector.  But the breeder had built a play structure for her puppies with various items hanging from it&#8230; cups, measuring spoons, etc. Pixel was fascinated by it, and methodically went around, playing with all the different items until&#8230; she got to the pie tins! She batted at one, and they clanked together. She skittered backwards across the floor&#8230; the first time I've seen her truly startled. We just watched and didn't say a word, but gave her all the space she wanted. She approached several times, just to skitter away again without touching them. Finally, she got her nerve up and went back to sniff them. She realized they weren't a big deal, and that was that.

The mistake some people make is pushing their puppies too much when they are frightened. I did nothing to encourage her back to the pie plates, just let her figure it out. If she had never gotten brave enough today, I would have let her figure it out next week when we are up there again. Always with my support, but at her own speed.


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## Suzi (Oct 27, 2010)

Its very important to try to do what Dave and Karen are suggesting. I have two Havanese and one of mine is very shy. I really dont know why. She went to all the puppy classes and was exposed five times the amount as my other to different situations. I tried showing her and brought her to two conformation classes a week for over a year. She was around a lot of dog people at shows who tried to make her feel comfortable. I am at a stage with her that I think she is just the way she is. She has about four people she will let be in her space. My other Havanese never went to any classes and is comfortable around anyone. Maybe all the activity Zoey got was to much for her and the experiences were not good one's for her type of personality. I have no idea why. Its interesting though to compare. The two are only 3mo different in age . I got Maddie at 8 weeks and Zoey at about 11 weeks. Zoeys Breeder didn't spend much time with her. Maybe that small amount of baby time made a big difference. Or the three mo of one on one with Maddie made a difference.


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## Lisa T. (Feb 5, 2015)

I know this is an old feed. I just experienced this with Rudy. He is 11 months old. We have done puppy school, and he is around a lot of people. We take him everywhere. He usually runs up to someone and will immediately lay on his back hoping for a tummy rub. But this past weekend my parents came to visit. They love animals, especially my father who is 86 years old. Rudy was so frightened of him. He would just look at him and start growling and barking from a distance. He would not go near him. But he gave my mother a big hello. My father felt very bad. Usually he's the one that animals gravitate to. My brother and sister both have dogs and he dog sits for them quite often. Rudy has been around many people all ages both men and women as well as children. He never showed this behavior before. He has never been boarded and when have to leave him for longer than 3 hours, he stays with my mother-in-law who lives 4 houses away. Is this part of the adolescent phase? My husband and I don't know why he acted so aggressively towards my father.


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## RonniB (Jan 21, 2016)

We have a 1.5 year old male who still reacts to strangers, especially men. We thought we socialized Melo as a young puppy, but apparently he's just not that comfortable with strangers. We have used the techniques outlined above. Once he sees the same person on a fairly regular basis, he's much better. He will greet them and then go lie down in his bed if we sit down, or follow us all over. Some people drive me nuts as they try to force the issue with him...grrr....I tell them to ignore him and let him come to them on his terms. Some we've used the treats with, and others, we haven't. He will not take a treat from anyone other than family, but he will eat treats that people drop for him. I'm hopeful that with our new puppy, we can manage to have them both adjusted to meeting new people.


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## MarinaGirl (Mar 25, 2012)

One tip I'd give is to socialize your puppy throughout their first year and beyond. Sometimes people focus on training and socialization when a puppy first comes home but then taper off and assume their dog is good to go. Not ideal; instead, you should positively socialize your puppy early (don't wait until 16 weeks) AND throughout their lives.

It's also important to socialize with all kinds of people (e.g. size, age, ethnicity, style of clothing) but especially with men as dogs often have a harder time with them compared to women.


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## RonniB (Jan 21, 2016)

Good point. Looks like Melo still needs work.


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## Dee Dee (Jul 24, 2015)

I agree you can't socialize too much. Sophie has never been shy or fearful, just the opposite she goes goofy bananas on pretty much everyone she meets. But when I first got her she was apprehenisve around toddlers we came across in a store, etc. So I would hang out at play ground (creepy I know!) and let her watch the kids. We would get lucky sometimes and a kid would want to pet her so got permission from mom or dad and gave kid a treat and kept reminding him or her to be gentle. Also take her to a friends day care and have them pet her and give her treats. She's totally over it now. But I still expose her to it as much as possible. We go to schools, juvie prison, kids on Indian reservation, and now possibly a regular prison and show how to train and care for a dog and she gets very excited to greet everyone especially at first since she's allowed to visit and get all of the "hi's" out of her system. We could never have done this at first or if we hadn't kept going out and working on the issue.

Another idea just to throw out there as I know it would take some planning is to have a friendly dog around. The Purple Heart Dog Rescue uses Sophie as their official "meet and greet" with the dogs that come in and are terrified. (they only take in the worst cases so most are quite traumatized and unhealthy at first). They bring the dog over and I sit on the grass in the back yard and Sophie does her magic on them. In no time each of them would start to play with her and they come back for follow ups! For example Mr Wilson was seized from a horrible situation and was terrified of people. When they brought him over, he wouldn't come anywhere near me tail tucked skulking away as fast as he could. Sophie got him playing and they ran and cavorted and smiled and had a wonderful time (it was also his first time on grass so he did a lot of rolling and chewing it!). 

When they would get winded, Sophie would race to me and jump into my lap to catch her breath. Mr. Wilson got to where he would join her in my lap and by the end of the first visit, he was choosing to jump in my lap and had a big grin and rolled over for belly rubs and kisses. Now when he comes he plays and explores and asks me to pick him up and hold him.

Again I know it's not an easy situation to repeat but it can help to have a confident dog show a fearful one the ropes.


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## RonniB (Jan 21, 2016)

Aw...Sophie is a such a special girl to help these sweet dogs find their way.


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## PaulineMi (Feb 5, 2016)

The Sophie and Mr. Wilson post is heartwarming.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

quite often with cases like this, it is sometimes just a certain idiosyncrasy of a person that a dog is reacting too. Is your father on any medications or health issues.? The safest way to work on this is to have him ignore your dog. It might help when he comes over the next time to start tossing some treats the dogs way and see if your dog approaches somewhat ,but don't press things. Time might help but with some dogs even the best classical conditioning does not work. Some trainers have even suggested rehoming with familys where the husband is never made friends with ,but these are rare occasions.


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