# Need to vent (very long)



## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

We (husband & dogs) visited my in-laws this past weekend for five days. The drive was 4-5 hours and both dogs did well. Louis just sleeps. He is good as long as he can lay in a confined space or in a lap. Even in a crate in the car, it's too much room to move around and he will throw up. I was proud of Louis on this trip because it was full of people. But I also have two things to vent about!

First, I'm proud of him because he was able to hang out with 6 adults and 2 toddlers. He was fine with the kids as long as they didn't stare or try to hover around him. He did bark at one of them but I just shooed him away. Even among all the people and commotion, AND being off leash - he did not salivate so I know he wasn't nervous (he salivates at the dog park cause he hates it there, and at the vet's office). He's good off leash but only with me unfortunately. He was out with my husband and father-in-law and they lost him for a few minutes, and found him walking down the street (I suspect looking for me). When he's with me, he sticks right by my side, and if he walks off, he does not go far.

My first complaint about the trip was my brother-in-law's reactions to my husband's suggestion on how to pet Louis. My BIL looked interested in petting him, so my husband asked him to pet underneath his chin, not over his head. Louis is a very shy dog and scared of hands and strangers. My BIL just retorted "Don't tell me what to do." I think there was some sibling tension there, but I did not appreciate it coming out regarding our dog. My husband got really pissed cause he was being helpful (not being a canine know-it-all which his brother thought he was being). My husband does not claim to know everything about dogs, but he knows OUR dogs. I tried to reassure him that even strangers don't listen to my advice on how to pet Louis so I just gave up on letting people pet him. It annoys me that people think they know better!!

My second complaint - which tinged the rest of the trip in bitterness - was my cousin's handling of how to take my dogs out. We were going to be gone for 10+ hours one day and I needed someone to stop by the house to let the dogs out to potty. I chose her because I trust her, and thought she'd be a better fit than my BIL, cause she is a girl and Louis is afraid of men, plus my BIL's previous attitude did not please me.

I tried to get her to come by the house to meet Louis the night before we were to leave, but she couldn't make it due to work. She said she would call so that I could inform her about the dogs. It got really late and I couldn't stay up any longer because I had to wake up early the next day. So I sent her a very detailed text message on instructions on how to take the dogs out. Mainly it was about Louis because he is a quirky, fearful dog. I texted:

_Take Louis out first. He is scared of strangers and hands petting him over the head. If you want to pet him, don't force it, pet underneath his chin. Hopefully he'll let you put a leash on him. Put the leash on him right when you open the crate, don't let him run out cause he might hide under the bed. If you can't clip the blue leash on him, use the yellow slip leash (lasso him). You will have to walk him around the block till he pees at least four times (he loves to mark). If he poops don't let him sniff his poop cause he'll try to eat it. Hopefully he'll follow you and eliminate. He might resist and may be too nervous to pee. But coax him to walk and he'll pee. Take him back to the house and put him back in his crate (unclip leash)._

My cousin called me right after I sent her the text. She said how I sent her a novel. I asked if she read it and she confirmed that she did. We decided on a time that she'd stop by the house, 3PM, and we got off the phone.

I left the dogs crated at 8:30 AM, fast forward to around 5:30PM - I get a phonecall from her as we are driving back home - that she can't get a hold of Louis. He keeps running away from her. He keeps growling at her. He's under the bed and she can't get him out. She also adds, "Oh, and he pooped on the treadmill, and under the bed." He pooped four times because he was so scared. By this point I'm really annoyed. I asked her how she let him out. She says "Oh I just opened the crate and let him run out with the rest of the dogs." (She brought her dog) I specifically had asked her to take Louis out first, then my other dog. Not a free-for-all let all the dogs out! I asked her why she would do that when I specifically asked her to NOT let Louis run out like that. It turns out - SHE NEVER READ MY TEXT. At this point I was furious.

Before we got home, she was able to catch him and put him back in his crate. She was able to get the leash on him and walk him. She told me he peed twice. I confronted her why she didn't read my text. She treated it like it was no big deal, and that I was crazy for making a big deal out of it. After arguing several times over a couple of days, the excuses were that the text was too long to read, that if it's more than three lines she won't read it, that she didn't read it cause she was drunk when she received it (even though she told me she read it when we spoke on the phone), that I'm nuts for writing such a long text message, that even though she said she'd be at the house at 3 PM, she really got lunch first, so I think she stopped by at 5 PM instead. I appreciate that she stopped by to help me out, but I am very disappointed that she can't follow simple, yet specific directions. I really commiserate with you guys who take your dogs to get groomed and tell them one thing, and they come out looking like the total opposite of what you instructed the groomer to do. That was how I felt!! Sure, my dogs weren't dead and they were fine when I got home, but I'm angry that she traumatized my dog. She told me to "chill out," and that she was providing much needed socialization to my dog. In order for her to coax Louis out from under the bed, she fed him cheese and candy!! Needless to say, Louis had diarrhea the next day. She also brought her friend with her who fed my other dog candy, AND let him off leash (when I told her not to), so when I got home they said how much fun he had running in 10 neighbors' yards (most of the houses there do not have fences).

I really have a hard time trusting people to take care of my animals and I really did not need this mess to happen to me. Especially from my cousin who I thought I could trust. Perhaps I put too much trust in her to read my text, and not giving her verbal instructions. I felt that she would forget verbal instructions and that the text would be better so she could have something to refer to if she forgot anything. Lesson learned for me! I was going to get her to work with/for me when I start my dog grooming business but I decided against it. She revealed to me her immaturity, and her cavalier attitude towards my instructions makes me angry.

A lot of people think I'm a neurotic [email protected] when it comes to my dogs. I needed a place to vent to other dog people to alleviate my annoyance! I will be going on vacation for a week in the next few months and I'm very anxious about it. I had asked a friend to watch our cats for a week once - all she had to do was stop by the house. Well she screwed up following directions - like when we stressed setting the alarm and locking the house - it was never done. Thank god we weren't robbed and that the door didn't blow open and the cats didn't escape (which has happened before). We also had a friend watch my other dog once - I left a 7-page list of instructions - that my husband told me I was crazy to write and that no one would read it - and yes, our friend didn't read it (but I also went over it verbally). But even when I told him that he could give a tendon chew to my dog to keep him occupied if he wanted to relax, that it'd be okay - instead our friend gave the tendon chew to my dog in his crate, crated him, and left for work. Thanks for watching my dog but thank god he isn't DEAD (from the choking hazard)!! *sigh* It's small things here and there I feel like people are incompetent to carry out. I wish I could clone myself so that one copy could stay with my dogs and the other one can go on vacation.

If you've made it this far reading this, thank you! You may think I'm a crazy nutcase - but I pride myself in taking care of other people's pets, like how the OWNER wants their pets to me taken care of, not how I want them taken care of. I am a dog groomer and know that if I cannot follow specific instructions from a client, I will not have any business! I double and triple check with clients to make sure I'm doing everything they asked me to do, and not to do anything they don't want. If I had hired a dogwalker to let my dogs out and they did what my cousin did, they would be fired on the spot.


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## PeaceLoveHavanese (Apr 30, 2012)

No fears, Tokipoke, I understand your frustration and I've never left my girl alone for as long as that! I would be like...beyond furious!! But I do understand- one of my good friends, who adores Brees, also works for my father who runs the business from home. We live in the adjoining apartment to my parents home...it is a hallway and one door to get to Brees. When I am in class all day I'll text her simply ask her to please let Brees out and make sure she still has water....her response? "I don't do dogs" First of all, she is a PET SITTER as her other job, and secondly she works for my father, who pays her hourly whether she is letting our Havs out or doing things for his business and he is a very busy man, I feel bad asking him to check in on Brees because he has so much to do each day already...that's why he has an assistant...and apparently she only loves Brees when she is petting or snuggling with her. That's not real love in my opinion, if you loved my puppy girl, and if you cared about me and respected our family, you would let our puppies out. They aren't even a pain! They both have their designated potty spots, you walk them to their areas and say "Go potty" they'll pee and then after some sniffing and racing about for a minute, they'll finish their business. It is honestly at MOST a 10 minute ordeal to take both dogs out, even though you can't take them out together because they get distracted (God forbid she makes two trips). I am not even asking her to exercise or play with them, I take care of that before and after class. Just simply let them outdoors and make sure that they have water....and in addition to that annoyance she is always trying to tell me how to care for Brees. Now, Brees is my first Havanese, and the first dog that I have actually owned, as opposed to my parents, but I have done and continue to do extensive research both on Havanese and puppy training. I've invested quite a bit of time in educating myself about the best way to ensure Brees is a happy, healthy, well adjusted, well behaved/well mannered, puppy AND dog. Simply because she cares for peoples' dogs over a 48 hour period suddenly makes her think she is Cesar Milan....ugh! I just turned this into my own vent session!! But I totally feel you!!!


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## CarolWCamelo (Feb 15, 2012)

Dear Toki,

I'm REALLY glad you wrote all that long post. I would have been just as furious as you were.

Looks to me as though the essence of those problems arise because of people's attitudes towards dogs, and their places on Earth. They cannot, I think, CONCEIVE that dogs are members of our families - a little like very young children, who need people to pay ATTENTION to their actual needs - and to their beings - how they are; what they are like.

To think about the reality - the actuality of dog-being - is, for them, a useless task. But what I disliked most was the cavalier attitude, the implication they'd follow instructions, and then not doing it, and treating it as irrelevant.

So I'm with you EVERY STEP OF THE WAY in your post.

Did you find out what kind of candy was fed to the dogs? I hope not chocolate. Candy! especially bad for diabetic dogs (I had one). 

So sorry all that happened. I'm more fortunate than you are; I have one trustworthy dog-sitter. And usually, I don't have to travel at all, and am always home.

Thanks for taking to trouble to write that story. I think it's good to know just how BAD some dog-sitters can be.

Lots of love and hugs,
Tue, 1 May 2012 23:59:13 (PDT)


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## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

Vent away!! My husband told me to "drop it," so I can no longer bring it up or even make jokes about it. He did mention how I would hold this over my cousin's head for as long as I lived. He is right. I do hold grudges for a while, but maybe it's because I have high expectations of people (and of course, myself, being a perfectionist).

I find it really odd that your friend refuses to let your puppies out! Is it because she's not paid to do that, and that's "not her job?" Maybe she feels resentment that she has to work for your father, and also "work" for you by tending to dogs during her job, that is not pet sitting? I don't understand this attitude. I'm always honored when friends ask me to watch their pets. I also go out of my way to take lots of pictures and give many updates - email, texts, with pics included - I even have facebook albums of my friend's pets. Luckily, my friends aren't as anxious as me, so they'll leave their pets with me and I won't even hear from them. After three days of vacation, I'm ready to go home cause I miss my pets so much. Even when clients pick up their dogs after being groomed my me, I always make a point to tell them how their dog did, what they liked/disliked - cause many dogs have good days and bad days - and if a dog's behavior is strange, then it could be something medically related, if they played or drank water, if they peed or pooped, if they got along with the other dogs, if I find any medical related things like an abscess or ear infection. Many times when I relate that "FiFi was grumpy today," they will tell me a story of some stressor in the house that is causing the dog to act out. It makes a lot of sense when they tell me these stories and I also learn more about my pet clients. I had a client who wrote a list for me for her dog. I followed it exactly and she's a happy customer. When it comes to people's pets, it's all about THEM (pet and owner)!!


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## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

CarolWCamelo said:


> Dear Toki,
> 
> I'm REALLY glad you wrote all that long post. I would have been just as furious as you were.
> 
> ...


Thank you for reading all that and for your reply! It comforts me to know that I'm not whacko! I do view my pets as my children. I spend all my money on them and their wellbeing. I worry about them, I would be so devastated if something bad happened and I wasn't there!

They gave my dogs Sour Patch Kids (sour gummy candy). On top of that, they gave my dogs the worst flavor! Yellow!


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## CarolWCamelo (Feb 15, 2012)

Neither of you are whacko. It's the others who are. Obviously!

Mummy - it's time to go back to beddy-bye. (00)

You're so right, Camellia; I'm coming; I'm COMING! ;-^

P.S. to Toki - I tend to be perfectionist, too, mostly, about my DOGS!

Wed, 2 May 2012 00:37:33 (PDT)


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## morriscsps (Aug 17, 2010)

I, too, have an idiot BiL. Our previous dog, a border collie, had the typical border collie baggage. Idiot man would purposely work him up. Stare-downs, growling, grabbing at his feet. Here I am trying to keep the dog calm and Idiot is ignoring me. I even put the dog in a bedroom to keep him calm. Idiot went into the room to "visit". ARGH! WTH! 

I feel your pain.


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## CarolWCamelo (Feb 15, 2012)

morriscsps said:


> I, too, have an idiot BiL. Our previous dog, a border collie, had the typical border collie baggage. Idiot man would purposely work him up. Stare-downs, growling, grabbing at his feet. Here I am trying to keep the dog calm and Idiot is ignoring me. I even put the dog in a bedroom to keep him calm. Idiot went into the room to "visit". ARGH! WTH!
> 
> I feel your pain.


I'm wondering how much of this sort of thing results from:

1) disrespect from men of women's wishes;

2) men loving to rile up other critters (human and canine alike)

or what the heck else.

Wed, 2 May 2012 06:21:39 (PDT)


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

I read your long post. I understand completely your concerns and yes I do wish we could copy and paste ourselves to take care of our Havs. We are so detailed in our care, that we tend to get too perfected on the care. I think it was information overload for your cousin. Sometimes, it helps to keep the instructions short and sweet. Forgive and forget.

And thank you so much for writing out your vent. Sometimes, writing it out helps so much and writing allows us to vents our anger. 

We understand your concerns. :grouphug:


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## Carefulove (Mar 20, 2009)

Darlin' sometimes family can be the biggest A-holes in the world.
Nothing wrong with venting an nothing wrong with getting upset, Your BIL is an idiot and was off line with his brother. 
Your cousin, I hope she got dog poop on her hands cleaning after Louis. She deserves it for her behaviour.

I am lucky my sister kept Bumi when we went to Europe 2 yrs ago (and will keep the two dogs next time we go), but when I came back, I wanted to smack her upside the head. Bumi was a giant KNOT, Everywhere that poor dog had knots, It was a miracle I didn't have to shave him down.


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## Kalico (Jan 11, 2012)

Hi Toki, I would be as enraged as you! I too, find it astonishing when people are so cavalier and disrespectful of others' wishes and directions, but it is unforgivable when it comes to something like caring for pets! 

I am somewhat of a perfectionist, follow directions, and value other people's possessions/pets/etc., and it makes me furious when others do not do the same for me. My bf, for instance, never puts things back in their place, and since he moved in there are always things I can't find. I never lose things, and I hate having to feel like life has become harder since he came. There is, of course, a down side to being like me (the words uptight and anal come to mind...I'm sure it's not a treat for him to have me always irritated!), but it is who I am! And he is, alas, who he is.

Anyway, I think what I'm getting at is that I have learned throughout my life that many people kind of don't really care that much about others' wishes. They may be nice and good people, and probably they think they are, but in the end they are too self-involved or busy or scatter-brained or whatever to care. I never trust anyone with my pets, not even people I know are fairly responsible. Ever. I just don't trust people to do things the way I would want. If I were gone ten hours I would rather put down a pee pad, lots of water, and a dish of food than have someone come over to take the dog out and God forbid have something horrible happen. I would worry all day about it. 

I'm so sorry this happened! I know it will take awhile to get over....


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## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

I'd be furious too. Your instructions were clear and pretty simple. If people we trust to care for our animals can't follow our instructions for their care, what would they do if asked to care for our human children? The part of your story that bothered me the most was using candy and cheese to get him out from under the bed! What if he were sensitive to or allergic to those things. You have every right to be angry.


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## AckTivity (Mar 28, 2012)

I don't think you're crazy to be angry. If someone agrees to take care of your dogs, then they need to be okay with any instructions involved. Especially with dogs that are shy or nervous.

Honestly, I don't think most people listen to others when it comes to their critters. We have a Chesapeake/Border Collie mix, though at first glance she looks like some sort of lab mix. She is VERY shy with strangers, especially men, but really anyone she doesn't know. We were out walking the other day and a woman came up to us and started telling me how she had a lab when she was growing up and loved them. Then stuck her hand out and attempted to pet Lucy, WITHOUT ASKING, and Lucy shied away. Actually she hid behind my legs. I told the woman that she is very shy and doesn't really like strangers and the woman kept attempting to pet the dog saying "all dogs eventually love me." I finally had to just walk away from her.

What if my dog had been a fear biter, for crying out loud? Why do people fancy themselves experts even over the dog's OWNER?

I'm sorry this happened to you.


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## Tuss (Apr 22, 2012)

OMG I am just like you! The first time I left my dog with my parents I had a whole indexed book of instructions for them! Of course they ignored most of them. I came home to find that my mother had bought a choke collar for my dog (she didn't like how she pulled when walking), and was putting a tablespoon of melted cheezewhiz on her food because the dog "didn't like the flavor of it plain" (of course it took 2 weeks to get her to eat her kibble plain again).

I also set up a nanny cam to spy on a dogwalker who i suspected wasn't taking my dog for long walks like i was paying her to. I found out she was spending the time laying on my sofa watching TV rather than walking the dog. She was promptly fired.

I even had a friend leave my dog out of it's crate when she stopped by at noon to let my dog out. She didn't believe in crating dogs and thought it was cruel to "lock her in a cage". I came home to a destroyed house since my dog went crazy with free range of the house which wasn't puppy proofed. Luckily she didn't choke on anything she ate or cut her paws on any broken glass.

Not everyone agrees with how I care for my dog. Some people think it is wrong that I "spoil" my dog or care too much about it's wellbeing. Everyone has an opinion about how to train/housebreak/pat/walk etc. In the end it is my dog and I get to decide. Unfortunately, when someone is doing you a favor like dogsitting you are often at their mercy when it comes to how they treat your dog. You would expect them to follow your rules and directions but some people think they know better.

One thing I do is to put post-it notes around on stuff to remind people of the instructions. A note on the crate door reminding them that the dog likes to bolt. A note on the back door with a reminder to lock it and set the alarm. A bag of appropriate treats with a note on it with a suggested serving size. I premeasure all meals in ziplock bags so the dog doesn't get overfed. I make it easy for people to follow my overly excessive instructions. Sounds like this appoach might be needed if you let your family dogsit again.


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## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

I can breathe a sigh of relief knowing I'm not the only one! lol I would have been REALLY pissed if someone used a choke collar on my dog without asking first and feeding that crappy cheese!!!

Louis really does need an instruction manual to go along with him cause he is a fearful dog. People should realize you approach fearful dogs differently than regular dogs. But of course, so many people think they know what's best (in their mind). Louis is very easy with me and listens well. I try to help other people out cause he will not cooperate with them (not even my husband).

I understand people have differing views on dog care, but I don't understand that if a person is getting PAID to do a certain task, they should do it. Or in my case, if I expect my cousin to follow directions, she should follow them. It's really that simple! I've worked plenty of jobs that if I did not execute actions in a specific order and at the correct times, disaster would have happened and I would have been fired. I am tired of people thinking they know better. What bothers me is that they can't step back from their arrogance and at least call the owner or clients to clarify something if they are confused. My cousin told me (implying it was my fault) that she didn't know where the treats were so she resorted to cheese and candy. I didn't tell her where the treats were on purpose cause I knew she would leave them laying around and my other dog would have gorged on it because he is so tall and an grab things easily off counters. If she had followed my directions she wouldn't have needed treats anyway. Perhaps I need to stop being so anal-retentive and relax but I just know my dogs and my cousin. But looks like I didn't know her well enough and didn't foresee her disregarding what I thought was important.

I have written manuals on how to do my job before leaving a company (this was before I got into dog grooming). I wanted the person after me to succeed and not fumble through things the way I did when I started out. It was very detailed, had a table of contents and everything. I'm sure my replacement did not read it. Sometimes I wonder why I even bother with such things.


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## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

Oh, also wanted to mention that if I posted post-its everywhere (and it would be EVERYWHERE), it'd be more visual evidence of how crazy I am! lol


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Toki, I read through your post too. I have been accused of being too protective of my dogs and spoiling them too! I think that may be why a lot of us are even on this forum - so that we can talk about our pets with others who understand, and don't view us as nut cases. I certainly have to keep my lip zipped around my family - parents and brothers and sisters - who were not pet people AT ALL! I am also somewhat anal about wanting my instructions followed. Maybe it is because I am getting older, I don't know, but it seems that people are getting worse and worse about listening to others - truly listening. Always have to be multitasking and doing several things at once, so that it is impossible to give anything their full attention. And if it involves more than a few words, they can't be bothered. Two of my sons can't be bothered to return a phone call or an e-mail. My husband has found that he has to text them to get a response, or even find out if they are still on the planet. And usually the response is a single word. At least my older son will call and we can actually have a conversation. 

Is there anyone you have met through your work that you have gotten to know that you would feel comfortable exchanging pet sitting with? At least this experience has opened your eyes to your cousin's behavior - so that you now have a better idea of how she would have performed, had you gone into business with her. BEFORE you actually got involved in the business and it was too late and she ended up sabotaging it. When I go to a business and they do not listen, I don't return!


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## morriscsps (Aug 17, 2010)

I just met a lovely dog at the pet food store. I could tell she was shy. The pet store owner said, "She doesn't like to be petted on the head." I usually don't pat on the head anyway but I had sure that the dog saw my hand and I just quickly did a pat under her chin and on the shoulder. I got the reward of a pantleg sniff and the doggie meandered off. The owner was grateful that I followed her instructions. She is socializing her dog and had rules. Why can't everyone follow the rules? 

Preaching to the choir, I know.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

(((HUGS))) I am so sorry you and Louise went through that... people are idiots.
I have no one (nearby) I would ever trust with Tillie. So, we never leave her. I pray someday I can find someone local who understands and would be able to take care of her... until that day, she stays with me. and I just don't go to certain things.


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## andra (Aug 23, 2010)

Count me in as another kindered spirit  What others may consider overprotective is really me just being a good doggie mommy.

My Dionna has some special needs, too, but it is mainly related to her sensitive stomach. This has improved steadily with time (she is now two) but to this day she cannot have treats that she is not familiar with. I am strict in enforcing this because, if I dont, it can set off a cycle of gastric upset and poop problems and this does not go away right away. I even bring my own baggie of treats to my groomer and they are very accomodating and compassionate. They are a great grooming company anyway so their willingness to follow my rules is consistent with how they operate. And, I reward them generously for that, with generous tips and referrals. 

I am blessed that my parents come to my home twice a week to watch Dionna; they have been doing this since puppyhood. They know her routines and what to do and not do; it has been a wonderful adventure for them because I did not grow up with dogs and now they love her like I do--she is my furbaby. When I travel, they stay here. I still leave pages of instructions, easily formatted with "morning routine", "afternoon routine" and "evening and bedtime routine". Plus, I have hedgehogs, so add more instructions LOL (although I board one of them due to meds). I make their time here worthwhile by cooking healthy gourmet food for them--enough for them to take home with them--and also running errands and helping them in any way that I can when I return. 

I would feel incredibly betrayed if somebody did not follow my instructions/rules regarding caring for my dog because I view these as non-negotiables. An animal is a living creature, not a pillow. They require specialized care and vigalence because they cannot speak with words. Heck, hedgehogs require hypervigalence because they hide their illnesses and will just 'wake up dead' so you really have to study and understand their baselines. People who make critical comments about being overprotective or whatever are just trying to deflect from their irresponsibility, IMHO, and I see through these tactics. 

You are an excellent mommy to your furbaby. You have many kindered spirits here; if I lived closer to you, I would watch your furbaby and ALL instructions would be followed and detailed notes would be kept LOL


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Wait, its not normal to write a 7 page or more instruction manual on our dogs? Cripes sake, I did when I left my girl for a 5 day cruise with some friends of ours, and NO, they didn't really read everything.

I can kind of understand that dogs don't always follow their routine when they are out of their environment, I"ve noticed this with Gucci when we travel and also with other havs' that I have babysat for for days at a time, they tend to not so much follow their home routine, however, I think that people should at least try to do as you ask, I would expect the same with my kids if I tell them 'don't feed my kid anything with nuts, they are allergic" and they ignore that and serve PBJ's for dinner, its just common courtesy I Think.

Sorry you had a rotten experience, I'm sure he was scared of someone he didn't' know chasing him around, sheesh, what dog or human wouldn't be? Poor guy.

Kara


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## sprorchid (Mar 30, 2010)

Thanks for venting! really. and yes, family does makes you nuts.

If I may, I think first and foremost you feel hurt by your idiot cousin. Hurt that she did not take more care and actually listen to you. and usually hurt turns into anger b/c anger feels like you are doing something. and you have every right to be upset and mad.


Last spring I had an old hot tub demo'd and replaced with a deck in the backyard. I chose my neighbor who is also a general contractor to do it b/c he knows all my dogs and seems good with dogs.
My dogs have free reign of the house and yard, the sliding glass door is left open for them while I'm out or at work. so the GC and his men were to come into the yard (actually just my neighbog GC b/c my anatolian would have eaten anyone else) and herd them into the house and close the sliding glass door. then let them out for potty breaks and when they finished their work.

I come home and my next door neighbor told me that the 3 men tried to catch my little ollie for 45 minutes, and couldn't so they let him sit in the yard and watch them. he barked for 6 hours straight at them (who says hav's aren't guard dogs)... 

moral of the story, the best laid plans don't always work out...


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## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

I know sometimes the best plans don't work out...

But I would have been more understanding if my cousin carried out plan A, and if that didn't work, went to plan B. Instead she just ignored me and did whatever she felt like. I've moved on from the dismay of her not taking care of the dogs to my liking - I'm more irritated with her arrogance and immaturity that has spilled over into other scenarios. I know I need to learn to relax, and I hope I can be okay when I go on vacation *deep breath*


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## lanabanana (Jul 2, 2011)

Wouldn't it be GREAT if we all lived within a reasonable driving distance so we could watch eachother's babies? I'm going away next week for three nights and am paying for a friend to come to VT from NYC to watch my pups. We had two Shelties for 16 yrs when my kids were growing up and they were DOGS. My pups now are my KIDS and are treated as such! There's a BIG difference! ;-)


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## The Fussy Puppy Gang (May 21, 2007)

To me, you are justified to feel angry and disappointed with your cousin's complete disregard for your instructions. NO ONE knows your dogs better than you. For her to blow off your instructions because she couldn't be bothered to read your text is inexcusable. I certainly wouldn't trust her again with anything or anyone I care about. 

DH and I haven't taken a vacation since 1999 for this very reason. The last time we went anywhere overnight was a 2-day stay in Las Vegas for a friend's wedding. Two neighbors had agreed to care for our dogs (at that time we had 3) with specific emphasis on exercising the youngest as she was high energy. Because of their work schedules, one was to come in the morning and late evening (she lived next door), and the other was to stop by in the late afternoon. The morning we were headed home my next door neighbor called our hotel to ask when we would be home (big clue there). When we got home we found the entry carpet torn up, a big hole in the living room carpet, poop scattered in the living room, and the entire front of our sofa had been torn off. It turns out neither neighbor had done as promised. Believe it or not, the next door gal tried to disguise the damage and gave up when she realized how much had been done, but she still left the poop! We have NEVER left the house overnight since because I don't feel that I could trust anyone to do the job right. 

However, when I watch dogs for friends or relatives, I make sure to follow any instructions they give me to a "T". It's what I would want from anyone who's been entrusted with my pets. It's that old adage, "Do unto others..." right?


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## Blue_Persuasion (Jan 4, 2012)

I'm guessing your cousin won't be called upon in the future. At least now you know she's not reliable in the way you need.


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

These people obviously don't know much about dogs. Even if your directions were a little lengthy that should have been a lightbulb going off to be careful. If someone tells me their dog has issues I tend to listen. They obviously don't understand dog behavior or care for that matter. Hunt for someone who knows and cares about dogs. Thanks for sharing. Anyone who disregards petting instructions is not worth having care for your dog.


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## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

What's ironic is that I went on a 5-day trip, took my dogs with me cause I didn't trust anyone at home to watch them. Didn't think that I'd run into this mess while ON the trip!

I used to travel with our cats everywhere, even short weekend trips cause I was so worried about them being alone in the house. I'd even board them! I've relaxed with them a lot and now I leave them in the house, and if we are gone for more than three days, I have a trusted friend stop by to see if they are okay. The cats are easy though, all he needs to check is that they have plenty of water, scoop the litterbox, and confirm both cats are walking around.

I like lanabanana's idea - too bad we can't have a travel co-op!!


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## CarolWCamelo (Feb 15, 2012)

The Fussy Puppy Gang said:


> [ big snippety snip snip] It's that old adage, "Do unto others..." right?


That was some horrendous story! I'm like you - you, since 1999; me, since about 1980; haha! I did once go away for four days (2002), but DogDaddy George came out and stayed with the dogs for the entire time, and he's trustworthy.

I go to great extremes to see that Camellia's real needs are met. Same as people here do.

To me, it's not a matter of do unto others, but rather, what the dogs' real needs are - and the fact that dogs are family.

Thu, 3 May 2012 20:20:25 (PDT)


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

We just choose to vacation WITH Kodi!:biggrin1:

If you choose carefully, you can find places that are dog-friendly... even restaurants. (with outdoor seating) We have been RV campers since our boys were small, and this akes it extremely easy to travel with a dog. Our trailer is Kodi's "home away from home". He gets all excited and follows me back and forth with every load as I'm packing the trailer for a trip. (wants to make sure I've included enough toys!)

These photos are from our Canada trip last summer. - Note his "camp chair" even matches ours!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

Lovely pics Karen. I 'm getting choked up as we are selling our trailer to the kids. , as Gwen isn't up to it anymore.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Gucci has been on every vacation since the first and only time we left her, I just prefer having her with us, you wouldn't believe what we had to go through to take her to Turks and Caicos, lol, but i like not having to worry about her and we can always find a house to rent that accepts dogs, hotels..not so much. 

I think some people that aren't crazy dog lovers like us, just have no clue that they aren't 'just a pet' to us.

Kara


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## morriscsps (Aug 17, 2010)

I have a cousin who has a teeny-tiny apartment with 3 kids. They all come and housesit for us when we go on vacation. They love it and we don't have to worry. My only complaint is that she likes to re-organize my cupboards. She now knows that the kitchen is off-limits but she merrily refolds all my towels and sheets in the linen closet.

As for the beasties, they are so spoiled. long, long walks, the kids give major snuggles and hugs, the girls comb and brush everyone several times a day. I kinda think the furbabies like them better.


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## tokipoke (Feb 13, 2012)

Kodi looks like he's having fun on the trip! Nice pictures!

I'll be going away for a few days next week, and I suggested I take Louis with me. My husband says he'll be fine - my husband will be watching both of the dogs. Of course I'm anxious and I really want to take him, but at the same time I need to give my husband a chance to get close to Louis. We're going back to my in-laws, and then from there I'm leaving to go to my cousin's (a different cousin) graduation in another state. I just imagine the same thing happening again that happened with my cousin! I need to stop being a control freak but it is hard.


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

davetgabby said:


> Lovely pics Karen. I 'm getting choked up as we are selling our trailer to the kids. , as Gwen isn't up to it anymore.


Awww, that's sad, Dave. But if it's staying in the family, maybe, if Gwen felt up to it, you could still take it out some time!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

morriscsps said:


> I have a cousin who has a teeny-tiny apartment with 3 kids. They all come and housesit for us when we go on vacation. They love it and we don't have to worry. My only complaint is that she likes to re-organize my cupboards. She now knows that the kitchen is off-limits but she merrily refolds all my towels and sheets in the linen closet.
> 
> As for the beasties, they are so spoiled. long, long walks, the kids give major snuggles and hugs, the girls comb and brush everyone several times a day. I kinda think the furbabies like them better.


What a great arrangement! Sounds like it's a win-win!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

tokipoke said:


> Kodi looks like he's having fun on the trip! Nice pictures!
> 
> I'll be going away for a few days next week, and I suggested I take Louis with me. My husband says he'll be fine - my husband will be watching both of the dogs. Of course I'm anxious and I really want to take him, but at the same time I need to give my husband a chance to get close to Louis. We're going back to my in-laws, and then from there I'm leaving to go to my cousin's (a different cousin) graduation in another state. I just imagine the same thing happening again that happened with my cousin! I need to stop being a control freak but it is hard.


I don't think that wanting your dog cared for properlyis being a control freak. I don't think that you were the least bitunreasonable in you requests. And I think if your cousin didn't want to deal with it, she shouldn't have agreed to start with.


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