# Shy 4 and 1/2 year old in new home



## Grrrl (Nov 29, 2010)

Hello.

I just adopted a 4 1/2 year old female Havanese from a breeder. She's really sweet & loving, especially to me, but is very shy and nervous even afraid at times. She is very shy and scared around my husband, and he's being really sweet to her. I've had her for about a week. I know that this may take some time, but I want to start working on the right thing now before the situation gets worse.

I don't know much about her previous situation other than that she lived with this breeder for over 3 years. She's only had one litter of pups.

We really love her, but I want her to love my husband as much as she loves me (she follows me everywhere). 

Also, I want to know how to help her adjust to being a part of our family as a pet now, used to all the sounds in our house, visitors, etc.

I appreciate any information you can provide.

Thanks


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

I'm sure Dave Gabby can give you great advice. If she is motivated by treats, your husband can try giving her some daily. He can also feed and walk her to help her get used to him. My Freddie is a little shy with some people at first. If they feed him treats, he forgets his fear pretty quickly. Give her time and don't force her. Good luck. I would love to see pictures of her!


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## davetgabby (Dec 29, 2007)

here's an article on classical conditioning. http://www.dogstardaily.com/training/classical-conditioning


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

I agree with Linda about the treats - that did the trick with my DH after he had tried everything! It really just takes time - just let her adjust at her own pace. In a month or two you'll forget she was ever shy!


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## Grrrl (Nov 29, 2010)

Thanks for the advice. We've been trying treats, but she still approaches with a lot of hesitation. We'll keep trying and being patient. It has only been a little more than a week. It is just frustrating that she seems pretty comfortable with me and not David.

Also, it is hard for him to walk her right now, she won't budge. Some of this may be because they really haven't had any time alone together. I'll be out of town for a few days next week - I hope they can work something out! 

I appreciate any other advice anyone has as well. 

Thanks again


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## Ellie NY (Aug 27, 2010)

Eli was exactly the same with my husband. He would shy and run from him when my husband tried to approach him. I had my husband coax him with treats and walk him. What really did the trick was when I had to leave on a business trip for a few days. DH became Eli's "primary care taker" and it really changed the dynamics of their relationship. So, if you've been planning that girl's weekend for awhile I suggest you take it so your husband can spend time with your new girl. ;-)


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## LoudRam (May 23, 2010)

Ruffles was shy at first and still is around strangers, treats or not. It takes her a while to warm up to people but she's getting better. We got her from a rescue when she was about 9 months old. They had no history on her. She was dumped on their door step. We think she was abused or at least neglected. You can see in my first thread what she looked like when we brought her home the first time. Her face was dirty from getting car sick too...poor girl.
http://www.havaneseforum.com/showthread.php?t=11961

It did take a few days for her to warm up to us. It took her about 4 months for her to feel comfortable enough to jump up on our laps and let us hold her. Now when I'm reclined back on the lazy boy I usually find this 12 lb fur ball standing on my chest staring at me trying to lick my face.

It'll take time but it'll happen. Now I'm going to read Dave's link, they are always helpful.


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## The Laughing Magpie (Aug 20, 2009)

I got my girl Misty from a breeder (a well known breeder) she was meant to be a brood bitch but she is tiny...her bones are tiny. She came home with us because she has a very calm temperment. It has taken her a while to settle in, it is obvious she was pre-loved. Since living most of her life in a kennel type situation, with many other dogs and several litters of puppies to play with, a home is full of different experiences. Misty is still shy but getting bolder everyday. We do obedience she is very good the fear is she doesn't hold her tail up and could be a problem, we will see. Just hang in there and don't expect it to all come at once they are very puppy like even though they are older. Misty has now realized she can lay where she wants and get lots of attention from the humans she has become most confident in the home. Your pup will come around it just takes time.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

It will take longer than a week, just be patient.

You can also have your husband help with the feedings, serving her meals, giving her water, giving her the super fabulous 'treats' that are way better than the average treats (like chicken or steak ) She will start to associate him with good feelings and trust.

I had an incident where Gucci was stung by a wasp on the nose when she was a wee little puppy and my husband actually saved her and got the bee off, but SHE thought he hurt her and was scared of him, thinking he was the wasp...but she did come around and they are best of friends now...hang in there!

And :welcome: to the forum
Kara


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

Some rescue dogs have not been around men before so it will take time and treats I agree. Just don't rush I think would be the main advice. Celebrate each little thing accomplished and have your husband do as much as he possibly can with her care. She will for sure be looking for the "treats" from him. I am just reading Bones Would Rain From the Sky by Suzanne Clothier. It makes you really stop and examine your relationship with dogs (people too btw). I have had dogs all my life and now understand better that a relationship requires work and understanding in a different manner. Some may disagree with her, but she is worth the read. She is not a "quick fix" but a long term investment in my eyes. JMHO. Good Luck. You will be rewarded with her trust in time. It took my older rescue about four months to start "being himself" in a new situation. And he was not shy or frightened. Keep us posted and please get some photos. There are other threads on here that you might want to read about owners who have gone through similar situations. Someone, possibly Geri, Kari, and Dave may remember names of threads to help you...


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## Grrrl (Nov 29, 2010)

I really want to thank all of you for your kind words and advice. We're trying to be patient. Now, I'm just trying to figure out what treats our little girls likes. She's a bit of picky eater! 

I also uploaded a photo I took of Sweet Dee at the beach last weekend. She looks a little scruffy, but had a blast on a cold winters day at the beach.

I look forward to delving into the wealth of information on here.


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## lfung5 (Jun 30, 2007)

Bella is the pickiest eater in the world. She even spits out filet mignon! She love duck jerky though. She never turns it down!

Cute beach shot. I wish we were at the beach! My guys love it.


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