# Pup wakes us up early when bf is over?



## akinva (Nov 29, 2016)

I have a 1+ yr old Lucy. She's the sweetest pup but clearly very clingy and my shadow. She doesn't exactly have separation anxiety because when I leave for work she was fine in her crate, and then I graduated her to the bedroom alone, but she was destroying a lot of paper things (notebooks I had out, etc) so I've moved her to the kitchen now. No accidents, no issues, not barking or anything really. However, if she knows I'm home and try to leave her in a different room (the kitchen for a while, or if I put her outside the bedroom for boyfriend and I to have adult time) she freaks out. Barks, body slams doors, etc. She seems to be either jealous or left out of the party.
At night/morning it's sort of the worst. When it's just the two of us, she'll sleep in her bed and climb into my bed (she has stairs for the bed) in the morning, but won't wake me until about 7:30am. When boyfriend is over, she starts in her bed sleeping but will try to wake us (him) up to play about 5:45. Anything I try, removing the stairs, ignoring her, etc, results in her whining and barking. Even when I've tried to train her to sleep in her bed and not have access to the stairs, she'll still continue to whine/bark even after doing it for a week.
I'm sort of at a loss. Boyfriend and I don't sleep on days he's over, and I have to go into the living room with the pup so he can at least get some rest. If I take her to the living room, she'll typically go back to sleep. It's like she gets excited he's around, or she doesn't want to share me.
Help! This is becoming a problem I don't know how to fix, and I don't want her to think she's the boss of us. It's also been really hard to be intimate because of her


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

I'd teach her to sleep in her crate at night. If she can't crate quietly in the room with you, she can sleep in another room. Then, if she still objects, you just have to teach your boyfriend about dog training. explain that as hard as it is, if this is going to be a long term relationship, you BOTH need to be ABSOLUTELY firm about the rules NOW. It will get better.


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## akinva (Nov 29, 2016)

krandall said:


> I'd teach her to sleep in her crate at night. If she can't crate quietly in the room with you, she can sleep in another room. Then, if she still objects, you just have to teach your boyfriend about dog training. explain that as hard as it is, if this is going to be a long term relationship, you BOTH need to be ABSOLUTELY firm about the rules NOW. It will get better.


Thanks for the reply! The crate unfortunately just does not work. She was fine staying in it while I was at work after a lot of training, but it's not a place she enjoys at all. She's a puppy mill rescue so I think she lived in a cage for the first few months of her life so just has a really negative association to it. I've done crate games and everything, but she just has not learned to like it or see it as a safe space. I even brought in a professional trainer to help me and we got to the point where she could stay there during the day without much fuss, but at night it's a no-go. I live in an apartment with a roommate so letting her whine/bark it out for days on end wasn't an option.


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## Melissa Brill (Feb 22, 2017)

*Crate*



akinva said:


> Thanks for the reply! The crate unfortunately just does not work. She was fine staying in it while I was at work after a lot of training, but it's not a place she enjoys at all. She's a puppy mill rescue so I think she lived in a cage for the first few months of her life so just has a really negative association to it. I've done crate games and everything, but she just has not learned to like it or see it as a safe space. I even brought in a professional trainer to help me and we got to the point where she could stay there during the day without much fuss, but at night it's a no-go. I live in an apartment with a roommate so letting her whine/bark it out for days on end wasn't an option.


How long did you work on the crate? Perry is a rescue as well (I was told that the 'breeder' was going out of business, but I suspect puppy mill.) He was really not fond of being in his crate - especially being left on his own and after a month+ I was sure it wasn't going to work (barking, etc), but then after 2 months it suddenly clicked. Good thing it did because he recently hurt his leg and is now on 8 week!!! crate rest and he's quiet and calm in his crate - I do bring it out into the living room with us when I'm home, but I don't know what I'd do if he was upset in it the whole time since he's spending probably 20-22 hours a day in his crate.

I understand about the roommate/ apartment and not wanting her barking - have you tried putting her in the crate with something she LOVES!!! or doesn't get often (only gets in the crate) and sitting right beside it (not talking, just sitting there and maybe putting your hand by the front door of the crate)? When we first got Perry he went crazy barking in his crate when we put him in it in the living room and then would leave the room, so I moved it to the bedroom right beside my bed and dangled my hand down beside it any time he got fussy. With him that was fine for a couple of weeks then I was able to move him across the room (still in his crate in the bedroom) and then would only have to say 'you're fine' when he'd fuss, until now he's fine. All of this with a dog who does not see his crate as a fun place - he doesn't go into it voluntarily (I usually have to put him right in front of it and give him a little nudge) unless it's to dart in and grab a toy. However, before the crate rest I was getting him to go in on his own at night before bed - we'd cuddle for a little while, then I'd grab his toy, throw it in the crate and tell him 'bedtime' and he'd go in.


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## Marni (Apr 1, 2017)

Good luck.


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