# funny...and then the fight started



## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED

> My wife sat down on the couch next to me as I was flipping channels. 
> She asked, 'What's on TV?'
> I said, 'Dust.'

> And then the fight started...
> 
> ******************************************

> My wife and I are watching "Who Wants To Be A Millionaire" while we 
> were in bed.. I turned to her and said, "Do you want to have sex?"
> "No," she answered.
> I then said, "Is that your final answer?"
> She didn't even look at me this time, simply saying, "Yes."
> So I said, "Then I'd like to phone a friend."

> And then the fight started....
> 
> ******************************************

> Saturday morning I got up early, quietly dressed, made my lunch, 
> grabbed the dog, and slipped quietly into the garage. I hooked up the 
> boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential 
> downpour. The wind was blowing 50 mph, so I pulled back into the 
> garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be
bad all day.

> I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into 
> bed. I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different 
> anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible.."

> My loving wife of 10 years replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband

> is out fishing in that?"

> And that's how the fight started....
> 
> ******************************************

> I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road 
> and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes

> you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, 
> well I couldn't believe it.... He was a DWARF!!!

> He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, "I AM NOT 
> HAPPY !!!"

> So, I looked down at him and said, "Well, then which one are you?"

> And then the fight started.....
> 
> *****************************************

> My wife was hinting about what she wanted for our upcoming
anniversary.
> She said, 'I want something shiny that goes from 0 to 150 in about 3 
> seconds.'

> I bought her a scale.

> And then the fight started...
> 
> ******************************************

> When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace

> expensive...
> so, I took her to a gas station.

> And then the fight started...
> 
> ******************************************

> After retiring, I went to the Social Security office to apply for 
> Social Security. The woman behind the counter asked me for my driver's

> license to verify my age. I looked in my pockets and realized I had 
> left my wallet at home. I told the woman that I was very sorry, but I 
> would have to go home and come back later.

> The woman said, 'Unbutton your shirt'. So I opened my shirt revealing my curly silver hair. She said, 'That silver hair on your chest is 
> proof enough for me' and she processed my Social Security application

> When I got home, I excitedly told my wife about my experience at the 
> Social Security office.

> She said, 'You should have dropped your pants. You might have gotten 
> disability, too.'

> And then the fight started....
> 
> ******************************************

> My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I

> kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at 
> a nearby table.

> My wife asked, 'Do you know her?' 
> 'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to 
> drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she 
> hasn't been sober since.'

> 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on 
> celebrating that long?'

> And then the fight started...
> 
> ******************************************

> I took my wife to a restaurant. The waiter, for some reason, took my 
> order first.
> "I'll have the strip steak, medium rare, please."
> He said, "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?""
> Nah, she can order for herself."

> And then the fight started...
> 
> ******************************************

> A woman is standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror.
> She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel 
> horrible; I look old, fat and ugly.
> I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

> The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's **** near perfect.'

> And then the fight started..... 


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

Those are so funny Sandi!!!


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## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

SMARTY said:


> > I rear-ended a car this morning. So, there we were alongside the road
> > and slowly the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes
> 
> > you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? .


ound: That reminds me of my ex. We got a stick shift car and I was driving. He moaned and groaned about my driving and I finally had enough. I pulled over and told him if he could do any better that he could drive. A block later he rear ended a brand new expensive car. The lady he hit wasn't at all happy and got in an even more foul mood when she saw me sitting in the car laughing so hard I was holding my sides. 
That woman had no sense of humor! :laugh:


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## Julie (Feb 8, 2007)

ound:ound:ound:


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## hedygs (May 23, 2007)

Thank you those are hysterical. I laughed until I cried.


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## LuvCicero (Mar 31, 2008)

Thanks for posting these....I needed that laugh today!!


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## mimismom (Feb 15, 2009)

Those are funny!


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## Mraymo (Oct 30, 2007)

Those made me laugh. Thanks.


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## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

Those are hilarious, Sandi!


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## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Those were great... I shared a few


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## lcy_pt (Aug 17, 2007)

I love these type of posts! Thanks for sharing :becky:


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## Lunastar (Feb 9, 2009)

hahahah thanks for sharing those


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Those were wonderful! I chuckled on everyone of those! I will have to share them with my husband! Thanks for sharing! These were well worth reading.


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