# I need help!



## charley_brown (Mar 6, 2011)

Soo, Charley will be a year in about a week. & I have the itch to get another puppy! 
Charley has been a DREAM dog & I am hoping when I decide to get another, that little one will be just as wonderful & easy. 
However, I am having a hard time convincing the boyfriend that another dog is a great idea! UGH! He has a german shepard that is older, eating less, and depressed because my boyfriends mother passed & his father is sick with cancer and not home anymore so we have him. 
He says when kahn (german shepard) passes he wants to pick out our next puppy. But I dont want to wait anymore. 
Am I just being selfish!? And if I am not, then how do I get bf on board with getting another Havanese. (He does NOT want another small dog [not even another hav :-(] so chances are we would end up with a huge dog.. which bothers me cause most shed & I have enough chores around the house). HELLP! MEEEE!!!


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## Carefulove (Mar 20, 2009)

I don't know if I would call you selfish, but keep in mind that your bf just lost his mom, has a sick father and most likely his dog will pass soon. He may "NEED" to pick a pup himself sometime soon to help him with his grief. 
You may be able to convince him to agree to have another Hav now, but are you willing to risk him resenting you later on when he wants a big dog but you guys can't get another pet?
I think having a pet is like having a kid, it really has to be a mutual decision and both parties should be 100% sure before taking the plunge.

And, I am really sorry for your bf's' loss.


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## charley_brown (Mar 6, 2011)

I guess I should have been more specific. His mother passed away 8 years ago (and the german shepard dog was his moms). His dad has been sick since 07. So these medical issues are nothing new. And he wants a dog, just not another Havanese. He wants a big dog... which may be an issue in our smaller house & I am allergic to most bigger breeds with dander.


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## whimsy (Apr 3, 2010)

If you are not sure what to do..."do nothing". Just enjoy Charley for now would be my advise.


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## Carefulove (Mar 20, 2009)

Oh, OK, that's different.

Then I would suggest you use your allergies as a starting point to convince him. It takes time. It took me 2 yrs to convince my DH to agree, but after much talking (and "unconventional methods") he is happy about a new Pup!ound:


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## Luciledodd (Sep 5, 2009)

Why does a big dog have to live in the house? Tell him to build a fence and then get his dog.


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## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

Luciledodd said:


> Why does a big dog have to live in the house? Tell him to build a fence and then get his dog.


Wow!!! I think every dog belongs in the house and deserves the opportunity to be a part of the family.


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## Momo means Peach (Jun 7, 2011)

A standard poodle is a large dog and has the low allergy issue as does a Havanese, I believe.


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## charley_brown (Mar 6, 2011)

I would NEVER consider having one of my dogs live outside. I live in Upstate NY for one... so our winters are cold. A dog to me is a member of my family! It irritates me now when my bf puts Kahn (the german shepard) outside during the day all day. He tears up the house if we leave him inside, so we HAVE to leave him outside but it breaks my heart! We leave the garage cracked so he can get inside and get out of any undesirable weather. 

I wouldnt be against having another large dog, I would just prefer a havanese haha. I love the lap dog & I love when my lil guy cuddles up with me now! haha. I have to say, under general discussion I saw the Beranese Mountain Dog & just about died from the pup being so cute! Sooo. who knows. I am just trying to find ways to get him warmed up to the idea of another 4 legged friend running around. If we do really end up with another large dog, it would need to be a compromise & we would probably have to have a trial run to ensure I can breathe... I would hate to get a dog and have to give it up because I cant be around it.


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

I agree that it must be a mutual decision and both of you in 100% agreement. DH and I BOTH wanted a second Hav, but adding that second one has not been without stress. There have been times when we have looked at each other and thought - WTH!! have we done, but neither one of us can point the finger at the other as it was a mutual decision. However, that doesn't mean I can't just move out and leave him with the Havs AND the birds!! ound: OK, you guys know I am just all talk! I love my guys and wouldn't trade them for anything, but it sure hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be!!


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

motherslittlehelper said:


> I agree that it must be a mutual decision and both of you in 100% agreement. DH and I BOTH wanted a second Hav, but adding that second one has not been without stress. There have been times when we have looked at each other and thought - WTH!! have we done, but neither one of us can point the finger at the other as it was a mutual decision. However, that doesn't mean I can't just move out and leave him with the Havs AND the birds!! ound: OK, you guys know I am just all talk! I love my guys and wouldn't trade them for anything, but it sure hasn't been as easy as I thought it would be!!


I am so with you on that. My boys spoiled me. They were both so easy to raise, aside from Milo's little adventures and Bailey's occasional need to mark. It never occurred to me that it might be different. Then came Ruby and the tough (read expensive) times started. I often wonder how different life might have been if I'd been content with just the two. I do adore her now and wouldn't give her up for the world, but I've spent many a day/night saying WTH did I do.


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## Judy -- Toby & Jaime's mo (Apr 21, 2007)

*Sounds like no MHS at your house*

If you BF does not have MHS now after already having a Havanese, I think it is pretty certain he really does want a larger dog -- maybe you could compromise on a mid-size dog that is non-shedding. Poodles already mentioned, but I have a feeling that may not be his BIG dog idea. Portugese water dog, like Bo the Obama's dog is very cute (but high activity level dogs), Tibetian Terriers. A Golden Doodle for large, or they do also cross small poodles and Golden Retrievers to get smaller ones. However, with the crosses I do not know how you know how they will come out characteristic wise.

As much as I love the four Havanese we have had during the last 16.5 years, your BF should have already been smitten if he was going to be. My husband did not want a little dog, but he finally agreed and was immediately in love as soon as we got Jaime. She is now very old and such a "Daddy's Girl" and he often holds her in his arms like a baby -- he just LOVES her so much. Here are a couple of pictures of my husband with his little girl.


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