# OMG I am SO upset...



## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

I've been growing Cey's hair long from the start, and have been loving it (and anybody knows me, knows that I have posted quite a bit about it on this forum, from his hairstyles to the coloring of his fur, including the black tips). And I've especially been loving how his bangs are growing - trying different ways to tie them up, and saying how much I can't wait until they are long enough to tie up completely, etc.

So, I dropped him off at his sitters today with his bangs up in a double topknot that took me at least 20 minutes to do. Granted, I did that 5 days ago, but it was holding up really well, so I figured it would be fine.

And, I got him back with his bangs literally chopped off.

No warning, no call, no nothing. My sitter, who otherwise is a beautiful and wonderful and loving person, decided that the other dogs she was sitting were biting as his topknots too bad and that since she couldn't easily get the little bands out, that she should just cut his hair off. Without even asking me.

I can't even say how upset I am. It's not even that his beautiful bangs are gone. A large part of it is that, well, you just Don't Do That, Ever - but it's not even just that. And it's not even that she didn't ask me. The worst part of all for me right now is, he had these beautiful black tips on the ends on his fur everywhere, including his bangs - - and she cut them off from the entire top of his head, and I know he will probably never, ever get them back. His fur will, for the entire rest of his life, never be the same as it would have been, had she not cut it off.

Going backwards from that, well, the second thing for me is, you just *can't* do that. I mean, I can't even imagine doing that to somebody else's baby, human or canine or whatever - especially if you are supposed to be taking care of them, how do you go do something like that??

oh my goodness, I am so upset. I know it's 'just fur', but Cey will never get those beautiful black tips back, that I loved so much... neverminding how much I loved his bangs even now, and now I have to wait even more months to get them back to the length they were... seriously, how would somebody, taking care of another person's dog, think it was OK to do that??!!!!

-before he got cut:










-now:









And you can't even see the full extent of the damage in the pics. And yes, it's 'just fur'. But still, Cey lost something primeval to himself today - something that will never come back, whether he lives for another year, 10 years, or 20 years - he will NEVER get those beautiful black tips back, and, yes, that matters to me somehow, maybe because I was determined from the very start to preserve them. And the fact that his beautiful bangs are just inelegantly chopped, also matters to me now as well. I mean, Cey is still Cey, but, omg, she didn't even try to make his bangs look 'nice', she just literally chopped the hair off...

I want to cry, and it wouldn't be the first time I cried tonight about this...


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Someone else on the forum had something similar happen fairly recently. Their mother cut off the ends of their Hav's ears - the dark ends. Was it Tammy and Tillie - can't remember for sure. You are absolutely right - you do not do that to someone else's kid, dog, cat, donkey....... Does it just stand up now in a short little stubble??!!! That's what the photo looks like. Yikes!

Finn doesn't have as much color as Cey, but he has black tips too that, if cut, will just be gone. I love his black tips. I don't blame you for being angry. Couldn't she have just carefully cut the bands??? That is what we do here. Finn has eaten two of Augie's bands. Augie's topknot is in pretty rough shape right now. It takes about a day for a small rubber band to go through a dog. 

So...what did you say to her? You may have to visit the Miss Clairol isle at the market.  Maybe, when you wash it and fluff it out, it will look cute??


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

motherslittlehelper said:


> Someone else on the forum had something similar happen fairly recently. Their mother cut off the ends of their Hav's ears - the dark ends. Was it Tammy and Tillie - can't remember for sure. You are absolutely right - you do not do that to someone else's kid, dog, cat, donkey....... Does it just stand up now in a short little stubble??!!! That's what the photo looks like. Yikes!
> 
> Finn doesn't have as much color as Cey, but he has black tips too that, if cut, will just be gone. I love his black tips. I don't blame you for being angry. Couldn't she have just carefully cut the bands??? That is what we do here. Finn has eaten two of Augie's bands. Augie's topknot is in pretty rough shape right now. It takes about a day for a small rubber band to go through a dog.
> 
> So...what did you say to her? You may have to visit the Miss Clairol isle at the market.  Maybe, when you wash it and fluff it out, it will look cute??


I was going to mention that, and I thought it was Tammy and Tillie as well, but then I couldn't find the original post using the search function, so I didn't want to say anything since I might have had the wrong person...

but yea, you just DON'T do that to another person's baby, whether it's a kid, a dog, or whatever!!! Seriously!!!

My aunt got her hair cut short by her teacher about I dunno, 40 years ago, and my grandmother was absolutely FURIOUS.

And, I don't mean to say that a dog is more important than a human; I have a child and a dog, but, honestly, for Cey, getting his fur cut is actually worse than what happened to my aunt, because, well, my aunt's hair eventually grew back exactly the way it was originally. Cey's will NEVER grow back the way it would have...

And yes, it's exactly as you see it right now, stubble... and totally uneven and rude stubble, not even slightly regular stubble... waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I would be absolutely furious too. That is incredible nerve. If his topknot was a problem, and I know it can be something other dogs pull on, she should have called you. I would never trust that person again. Did she even apologize?

When Ruby was a baby, she managed to follow Milo under a little hole under the back fence, into my neighbor's yard. I frantically searched for her for hours on what turned out to be the coldest night of the year. As it turned out, someone visiting a friend on the street wound up taking her home. To make a long story short, I called the police and first thing the next morning she was located. You could tell the woman was reluctant to return her to me. Even the police officer told me to call back because he felt the same thing.

When I had described her to the police, I told them she was a redhead with black tipping on her mustache, chin and near her eyes. The dog I picked up almost didn't look like her. The black tips were cut off, perhaps in an effort to disguise her. The hair around her eyes was cut off, making her look for weeks like an owl. I know the pain you're feeling. I was there.


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## Luciledodd (Sep 5, 2009)

I would be in jail and the sitter would be in the hospital. Well since I am old now, maybe I would just be in jail and really angry and the sitter would have heard words that she had never heard before.


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## Kathie (Jul 31, 2008)

Lucile! ound:

Heather, if it will make you feel any better at all the black tips probably would have disappeared eventually. Abby's has never been cut and hers are all gone now. I know that's not much solace right now, though. I, too, would have been furious!!! My mother always had strict instructions from me never to touch my children or dogs with a pair of scissors! You have every right to be upset - no one should "ever" do something like that to someone else's children or pets. I'm upset just thinking about it!!!

Geri, I don't remember that incident with Ruby - did you post it? How awful and scary!


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## Lizzie'sMom (Oct 13, 2010)

OMG!!! Heather, I am so sorry. I would be just as upset. I was crying when I picked Lizzie up from the groomer and they had cut her bangs. I had SPECIFICALLY said not to. That was in late October and they are just now topknot-able.

What did you say to her when you saw him? How did she explain it? I agree with Geri. It would be hard to trust her with Cey. What if she sees a mat and decides to shave him?

I guess you need to sit down with her and tell her what you told us here so she fully understands how upset you are and why.


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## Lizzie'sMom (Oct 13, 2010)

pjewel said:


> I would be absolutely furious too. That is incredible nerve. If his topknot was a problem, and I know it can be something other dogs pull on, she should have called you. I would never trust that person again. Did she even apologize?
> 
> When Ruby was a baby, she managed to follow Milo under a little hole under the back fence, into my neighbor's yard. I frantically searched for her for hours on what turned out to be the coldest night of the year. As it turned out, someone visiting a friend on the street wound up taking her home. To make a long story short, I called the police and first thing the next morning she was located. You could tell the woman was reluctant to return her to me. Even the police officer told me to call back because he felt the same thing.
> 
> When I had described her to the police, I told them she was a redhead with black tipping on her mustache, chin and near her eyes. The dog I picked up almost didn't look like her. The black tips were cut off, perhaps in an effort to disguise her. The hair around her eyes was cut off, making her look for weeks like an owl. I know the pain you're feeling. I was there.


Geri-That is so scary. I am glad that you got Ruby back even if she looked like an owl.


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## whimsy (Apr 3, 2010)

What nerve!! I would be so pissed too!!!!!!!!!


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Kathie said:


> Lucile! ound:
> 
> Heather, if it will make you feel any better at all the black tips probably would have disappeared eventually. Abby's has never been cut and hers are all gone now. I know that's not much solace right now, though. I, too, would have been furious!!! My mother always had strict instructions from me never to touch my children or dogs with a pair of scissors! You have every right to be upset - no one should "ever" do something like that to someone else's children or pets. I'm upset just thinking about it!!!
> 
> Geri, I don't remember that incident with Ruby - did you post it? How awful and scary!


I didn't post it at the time. I was hysterical and the only one who knew was Michele. I was on the phone with her, crying my eyes out when the police called.


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## Ellie NY (Aug 27, 2010)

You have every right to be upset. She could have snipped the rubber band off instead and let his bangs hang in his eyes until you picked him up. The other dogs would have left him alone.

I know you say she's a lovely woman but she crossed a line. As you said, you just don't do that. She used poor judgment and the reason for that probably is around crossing this invisible line - I think she forgot that Cey isn't her dog, but yours, even though he spends so much time at her home. She may have felt she had some "equal" say in his care. That's not true. We don't drop our kids off at daycare and expect that the teacher will forget whose child it is simply because they spend 7 hours with her. With our 4-legged babies it's probably easier for them to forget.


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

Oh, my, Geri - how awful!! I was going to comment that my memory must really be slipping as I didn't recall that story either. Who cut Ruby's hair - the person who took her home? And then they said she didn't match your description? Scary. Scary. Finn is going to look nothing like he looks now when he loses his black tips. His hair coming in under these black and darker tips is very cream colored. 

Yes, if someone did that to my dog without saying anything or asking, there would certainly be trust issues. Maybe she needs to have her bangs snipped down to an inch to see how she likes it. :evil: Did you let her know how upset you are? I suppose sitters aren't that easy to find? And especially if Cey is happy there otherwise? 

Lucile!! I hope I never tick you off!! ound:ound: You always make me laugh!


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

Thanks everybody. I am going to write a scathing email to her explaining everything in great detail, the excitement and the wait I went through to get his bangs long enough to grow, the pics I took specifically of his bangs both down and when I was finally able to tie them up, and explaining very clearly again that he will never, ever get those beautiful black tips back, and how much I literally cried yesterday. Still not sure whether or not I am going to fire her and find another sitter or not. Cey really likes her... and I used to, but now every time I think of her, or of the top of his head, it makes me feel a little bit sick, and makes me want to cry, so I don't know if I will be able to keep her. But I wanted to cool off a little bit before I unleashed on her, and also to be able to rationally decide if I should keep letting her take care of Cey... 

Thanks everybody for your support. I have read all of the horror stories here and felt SO bad for everybody else when it happened to them... now, it's happened to me...


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

pjewel said:


> I didn't post it at the time. I was hysterical and the only one who knew was Michele. I was on the phone with her, crying my eyes out when the police called.


That is incredibly scary! Obviously only second to somebody kidnapping my child, is my fear of Cey being stolen!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

Kathie said:


> Lucile! ound:
> 
> Heather, if it will make you feel any better at all the black tips probably would have disappeared eventually. Abby's has never been cut and hers are all gone now. I know that's not much solace right now, though. I, too, would have been furious!!! My mother always had strict instructions from me never to touch my children or dogs with a pair of scissors! You have every right to be upset - no one should "ever" do something like that to someone else's children or pets. I'm upset just thinking about it!!!
> 
> Geri, I don't remember that incident with Ruby - did you post it? How awful and scary!


I don't remember reading that one either! Geri was probably afraid to admit that Mr. Milo had gone on the lamb AGAIN... this time with baby sister in tow!ound:


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

heatherk said:


> Thanks everybody. I am going to write a scathing email to her explaining everything in great detail, the excitement and the wait I went through to get his bangs long enough to grow, the pics I took specifically of his bangs both down and when I was finally able to tie them up, and explaining very clearly again that he will never, ever get those beautiful black tips back, and how much I literally cried yesterday. Still not sure whether or not I am going to fire her and find another sitter or not. Cey really likes her... and I used to, but now every time I think of her, or of the top of his head, it makes me feel a little bit sick, and makes me want to cry, so I don't know if I will be able to keep her. But I wanted to cool off a little bit before I unleashed on her, and also to be able to rationally decide if I should keep letting her take care of Cey...
> 
> Thanks everybody for your support. I have read all of the horror stories here and felt SO bad for everybody else when it happened to them... now, it's happened to me...


I don't think I could ever go back to her after that. She just had NO right!!!

With the grooming horror stories, at least people took their dog to a GROOMER... they may not have gotten what they expected or hoped for, but we've seen that again and again on the forum... you have to be VERY careful with groomers, and even then, sometimes (often!) people don't get what they hoped for. But STILL, they went with the expectation that the dog would be groomed.

In your case, Cey was there for DAY CARE, for heaven's sake!!! She had NO RIGHT to TOUCH him with a pair of scissors!:suspicious:


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

pjewel said:


> I didn't post it at the time. I was hysterical and the only one who knew was Michele. I was on the phone with her, crying my eyes out when the police called.


Geri, I didn't mean to make light of What happened to Ruby... that's truly horrible and incredibly scary. The only funny part is Mr. Milo instigating the adventure once again. That boy should be named Columbus or something!!!


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## imamurph (Apr 15, 2008)

Ohhh, THAT is a bummer!

My groomer who usually just trims my Havs feet and bangs one day just lifted Sophie's tail (as I was holding her) and SHAVED her butt! She did it so fast I couldn't stop her, and the result was horrifing, as Sophie is black..she had this big WHITE shaved butt!
I was really angry, but couldn't bring myself to say anything, as my groomer is so awesome (otherwise) But get this..after I got it all grown out she tried to do it again,,but I screamed "STOP! DON"T DO THAT!" Well, then she looked mad at me for yelling at her and explained it would be so much easier when she went pooo.. I told her "IF" I had any trouble, I keep baby wipes and waterless shampoo handy..Not that I should have to justify myself..but what GROOMER would take such liberty right in front of the owner?? UGH! :frusty:


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

Oh yea, one more thing. I had ALREADY told her about wanting to show him, and about how he couldn't have his hair cut (or be neutered) if I wanted to get him a championship...


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## motherslittlehelper (Mar 18, 2010)

heatherk said:


> Oh yea, one more thing. I had ALREADY told her about wanting to show him, and about how he couldn't have his hair cut (or be neutered) if I wanted to get him a championship...


Seriously???!! That puts a whole new slant on the situation. While I think it is smart to wait until you have cooled off a bit to say anything, she definitely needs to know that what she has done was totally out of line. To have been given that information, and then do what she did anyway? - Holy cow! You showed way more restraint than I probably could have mustered up. Lucile would have had herself a roommate in jail!!


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## clare (Feb 6, 2010)

OMG,Gerry that is a horrendous story the stuff of nightmares.


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## Judy -- Toby & Jaime's mo (Apr 21, 2007)

*CALM*

What was done to your dog was definately wrong, but I am sure absolutely no ill will was intended.

Firstly, I would suggest you wait a few more days before saying anything to her so you do not say something you will regret latter.

Secondly, in the overall scheme of life this is a minor annoiyance not earth shattering. I know the black tips will never grow back, but it is certainly possible you will tire of all the combing and mats and end up cutting the coat at some future time. Being owned by three Havs I cannot imagine being able to keep up with long coats.

Thirdly, the person you are getting most upset is you and is it worth it, and will it change anything, will it matter to your Hav?

Personally, if you like the dog sitter and your dog likes her I would view that as extremely important and I would not sever the relationship. When you are able to calmly explain to her that you had wanted to keep the coat long, that black tips never grow back, and cutting the top knot was beyond the scope of what anyone should do without permission I would do that but I would do it in a way that would not cause permanent harm to the relationship. If everything else about the dog sitting arrangement is good, I would consider this an error in judgement and let it go.

I may have a minority view from what has been expressed, but I see no good outcome from writing a "scathing email" but I do understand your protectiveness of your Hav. I just really value how my dogs are treated by the dog sitters I have had and I will make compromises on other aspects as long as the dogs are happy.

Good luck,


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## Anthea (Jan 12, 2011)

I agree with Judy. Yes, it is bad. Yes, she shouldn't have done it. Yet- is it worth being so mad about? The sitter wouldn't, I think, do it will ill intent. Your paying, right? Why would she do something that might lose business? It wouldn't make sense. Perhaps she forgot you had said to not cut his hair.
Your just making yourself feel worse by going on about it.

Calmly explaining will do a lot better than writing a mean email. 
Talking to the sitter in the "I'm so angry you have no right" way will make the SITTER defensive, most likely. If you talk about it calmly than the sitter will be a lot more likely to stay calm too. If everyone stays in control of their emotions the problem can get fixed versus everyone parting ways mad.


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## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Agree.... Cool off first, then talk to the sitter in person calmly....you can get emotionally sad and disappointed, and cry, but keep the relationship. 

We feel your sadness and disappointment. Take a deep breath...relax, this too shall pass. Mend the relationship. A big hug coming your way.


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

I disagree - I think it was absolutely incredibly WRONG what she did, and I have the full and absolute right to be FURIOUS with her (which I am), as well as to consider firing her (which I am still considering), but I do want to clarify something. The purpose of the scathing email is to really drive home the point how absolutely NOT ok it was for her to do that, so that she never does it again, either to my dog or anybody else's. I don't think she even realized how not OK it was; even though she could see that I was upset and she did sort of apologize, I think she was feeling bad that I was upset, not necessarily feeling bad that she had done it, if that makes sense. Also, I write a lot better than I can express myself verbally, especially when its a personally upsetting subject, so writing is I think the best way to go with this.

And as I said before, I _am _purposely waiting until I cool down, before writing, or saying, anything to her. I want my email to make it crystal clear to her what an awful thing it was that she did, and in order to do that it does have to clearly state how upset I am and how very NOT ok it was for her to do that (i.e., scathing, to drive the point home), but I don't intend to even start writing to her about it until I have cooled down.


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

awwww, Heather I am so, SO sorry that you are in this position and that sweet Cey lost his black tips.
YES, it was me and Tillie, my MOM cut Tillie's ears, thought she was "helping" and saving us "money at the groomer" by doing it while we were on vacation. I was just devasted and still to this day (it was 2 months ago) miss her curly little black tips...  she will never get those back. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. It was the only color Tillie had. the rest of her is mostly cream-ish. Her ears still have SOME grey, but that will someday be gone, I can imagine. I tried REALLY hard at the time to not be too hard on my mom, she didn't KNOW that the black would never come back... but really?
I decided after that to take over ALL of Tillie's grooming, because if my MOM could do that.. I became very afraid of what a groomer could do to her... granted, Tillie looks pretty scraggly these days, what with her eye hair growing out and me having NO clue how to trim her bangs... but that's okay with us! as long as she is healthy and thriving!!

DO you HAVE to take cey to the sitters? has she ever done something like this to any other dogs?? Did you ask her WHY she didn't CALL you? Tragic. People that aren't "like us" ("crazy hav moms.dads) just do NOT understand how important something like this is, they think it is 'just' hair, it will grow back. they do NOT get it at all and probably never will. sigh.
((((HUGS)))) and big bellly rubs ... :Cry: :grouphug:


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## TilliesMom (Sep 30, 2010)

I understand completely. I am also WAY better at written communication than in person especially if it is an emotionally heated conversation. Oh and I HATE confrontation! LOL


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

TilliesMom said:


> awwww, Heather I am so, SO sorry that you are in this position and that sweet Cey lost his black tips.
> YES, it was me and Tillie, my MOM cut Tillie's ears, thought she was "helping" and saving us "money at the groomer" by doing it while we were on vacation. I was just devasted and still to this day (it was 2 months ago) miss her curly little black tips...  she will never get those back. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about it. It was the only color Tillie had. the rest of her is mostly cream-ish. Her ears still have SOME grey, but that will someday be gone, I can imagine. I tried REALLY hard at the time to not be too hard on my mom, she didn't KNOW that the black would never come back... but really?
> I decided after that to take over ALL of Tillie's grooming, because if my MOM could do that.. I became very afraid of what a groomer could do to her... granted, Tillie looks pretty scraggly these days, what with her eye hair growing out and me having NO clue how to trim her bangs... but that's okay with us! as long as she is healthy and thriving!!
> 
> ...


Hugs to both of us... I almost cried when I read your post about Tillie's ears, just imagining something like that happening to Cey. And sheesh, the ears - that honestly would be even worse than the top of Cey's head - at least Cey's sitter didn't do that! Poor Tillie, and poor you, and thanks for your words! I know intellectually it must seem crazy to be so upset, but we have every right to be when we invest so much time, love, attention, and yes also money (on everything, from training classes to toys lol) on our little furbabies


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## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

I don't think it is crazy at all. I would be really pissed too. I think the thing you need to consider though, is it worth losing a good pet sitter over? Good one's are very hard to come by, and If you like and trust her (up until now) the cooling off period could be very important so that you can let her know how displeased you were but not destroy the relationship. 

I think Cey is still adorable. but yes I would be furious too.


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## katkoota (Feb 25, 2010)

Awwh i am so very sorry, and can relate to what happened to you. Something identical happened to me with Crystal. I waited long enough for her topknot to grow. Last month, as she sat with my dad, he cut it off REALLY Really short. I came home to find her like that. I was upset. So i know exactly how You feel.

The thing is, Crystal's topknot does not grow AS FAST as the rest of the hair in other parts of her body, so i am still waiting to be able to put it on a topknot. 

Again, i am sorry that this happened to u too. No fun!


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

clare said:


> OMG,Gerry that is a horrendous story the stuff of nightmares.


For everyone who commented, yes it was a nightmare. I just didn't want to hijack this thread.


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## Narwyn (Jan 24, 2010)

krandall said:


> I don't think I could ever go back to her after that. She just had NO right!!!
> 
> With the grooming horror stories, at least people took their dog to a GROOMER... they may not have gotten what they expected or hoped for, but we've seen that again and again on the forum... you have to be VERY careful with groomers, and even then, sometimes (often!) people don't get what they hoped for. But STILL, they went with the expectation that the dog would be groomed.
> 
> In your case, Cey was there for DAY CARE, for heaven's sake!!! She had NO RIGHT to TOUCH him with a pair of scissors!:suspicious:


Got to agree. If her judgement was THAT bad, she WILL make another bad judgement call in the future with perhaps more dire ramifications.

Cool off, write her a pointed, clear, and fair letter, then find someone else your Cey will love AND who also has respect for you.


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

katkoota said:


> Awwh i am so very sorry, and can relate to what happened to you. Something identical happened to me with Crystal. I waited long enough for her topknot to grow. Last month, as she sat with my dad, he cut it off REALLY Really short. I came home to find her like that. I was upset. So i know exactly how You feel.
> 
> The thing is, Crystal's topknot does not grow AS FAST as the rest of the hair in other parts of her body, so i am still waiting to be able to put it on a topknot.
> 
> Again, i am sorry that this happened to u too. No fun!


When a Dad does it you HAVE to forgive him...but when a groomer does it...DO you pay them?
I really believe if I had that happen to my dog, I would refuse to pay them and make such a fuss at the counter that they would give me my dog and call a taxi for me...lol
I know I sound mean...but ...


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

Flynn Gentry-Taylor said:


> When a Dad does it you HAVE to forgive him...but when a groomer does it...DO you pay them?
> I really believe if I had that happen to my dog, I would refuse to pay them and make such a fuss at the counter that they would give me my dog and call a taxi for me...lol
> I know I sound mean...but ...


You don't sound mean to me. But you forgot one. A groomer is PAID to groom your dog. Sure, if they fail to do what you have clearly outlined for them to do, I would think it would be your right to not pay them. I have refused to pay somebody for cutting my OWN hair badly!

A dad (or mom, or other relative or friend who is watching your dog basically out of love), yes, sure, you do have to forgive them. At that point, it's basically a family thing, not any sort of business thing.

A freakin DOG SITTER? Whom I pay to TAKE CARE OF MY DOG, but NOT to groom him in ANY way??? Somebody whom I told I was trying to grow his hair out, and somebody that I actually would think would protect him from any body else trying to do that on her watch (not sure how that situation could come up, but you never know)??!

Not to keep belaboring the point - but apparently, the lesson here for everybody is, you can't really trust ANYBODY not to take scissors to your dog's fur. I thought I was safe, with not taking Cey to a groomer ever, and telling his sitter that I was growing his hair long. Granted, I never said, don't you dare ever take a pair of scissors to his fur unless its a life or death situation; I didn't think I needed to, but, apparently I did. I hope that everybody reading this and other posts, does what I didn't do, and says something like that in very clear, certain terms, like, 'I will SUE you if you ever come within 10 feet of my dog with scissors!', to ANYBODY and EVERYBODY who is in charge of their dog for even 5 minutes. I know that I will say that in the future to anybody near Cey...


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## West End Girl (Feb 18, 2011)

Heather, I'm SO SORRY this has happened. 

At the end of the day, it's the PRINCIPLE of the matter that's the point. NO ONE has any rights to TOUCH your animal w/o your permission. SIMPLE. End of story. 

I would NOT put anything in writing to this person. CALL instead. Keep your points brief and clear. You have every right to be upset and this person needs to know that what they did is WRONG.

My best friend is a groomer but I consider her an artist and a "master" groomer as she RESEARCHES each breed she's not familiar with or has never groomed PRIOR to grooming them and would NEVER do anything the owner didn't want or ask for. 

Trust is a rare thing these days. And while we're more forgiving with our own family, extra caution needs to be taken when leaving our fur babies with people we don't know well not to mention, ensuring there is a "hands-off" policy with the scissors


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## Jplatthy (Jan 16, 2011)

I agree that you have every right to be upset and I DO think that you need to talk to her but I think that needs to take place in person. Emails have a way of getting out of hand and things may be said in an email that the person would never have the nerve to say in person or they can be totally misunderstood...you can write your points down on a note pad and take it with you if that would help you stay on point.....just my opinion. I manage a dept of 5 people and from first hand experience have found it is much simpler to bring them in my office and discuss things and then follow up with an email outlining what we discussed rather than sending an email out first.

I also wonder if you had other "restrictions" if she would follow those or just blow those off as well which then would make me afraid to leave my dog with her.

Good luck


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## jessegirl (May 13, 2011)

I definitely think you are right to be angry. I know I'd be heartbroken. Essentially she violated your trust, removed your control in deciding what will happen with your dog, disregarded something you told her of importance, and performed an action with permanent results (I mean, we'd be pissed of a babysitter gave our kid a tattoo, right?). And I know, kids are not the same as dogs, but you'd think a dog sitter would be sensitive to the affection we have for our pets. After all, if someone is willing to pay $$ to have their dog watched all day, that dog must be a very big priority to the person. How can you be a dog sitter and NOT get that? 

I guess the big decision now is do you want to keep the relationship? I know you're not asking for advice, but if this were me, I'd decide if I want to keep the relationship before communicating with her. That's the real key right now. Regardless, I'd still tell her what she did that I think was wrong and why, but HOW I told her and WHAT I said would vary . . .


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## heatherk (Feb 24, 2011)

Thanks everybody for your support. Whether or not I want to work with her to keep her is now a moot point. When I expressed to her how upset I was and the reasons for it (granted, I apparently came across pretty harshly, but I don't think I was too out of line), she apologized and immediately resigned from taking care of Ceylon - she said that she would no longer be comfortable with watching him. I was willing to perhaps try to work things out and I am a little sad that she didn't even want to try, but I can't say that I am too upset over her resignation. As Jessica just said above, she violated my trust in a BIG way, and as others have said, if she did that without calling me first, what other bad judgement calls might she make? She was, as far as I could tell, a good dog sitter in other ways, but, if I can't trust her judgement, well, there you have it.

Now I have to find a new sitter, which as I said, I am not too too upset about. And you can BET that I am going to conduct a thorough interview first this time, to get a sense of what they would and wouldn't do without calling me first!!

p.s. I really am a very non-confrontational person! I quite literally can't remember the last time I was upset enough at ANYBODY to confront them like that.... it doesn't make me happy to be like that, but I felt that I needed to put everything out there for her, for her other dogs' and owners' sakes even if it was too late for Cey's sake...


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## Flynn Gentry-Taylor (Jan 17, 2008)

heatherk said:


> Thanks everybody for your support. Whether or not I want to work with her to keep her is now a moot point. When I expressed to her how upset I was and the reasons for it (granted, I apparently came across pretty harshly, but I don't think I was too out of line), she apologized and immediately resigned from taking care of Ceylon - she said that she would no longer be comfortable with watching him. I was willing to perhaps try to work things out and I am a little sad that she didn't even want to try, but I can't say that I am too upset over her resignation. As Jessica just said above, she violated my trust in a BIG way, and as others have said, if she did that without calling me first, what other bad judgement calls might she make? She was, as far as I could tell, a good dog sitter in other ways, but, if I can't trust her judgement, well, there you have it.
> 
> Now I have to find a new sitter, which as I said, I am not too too upset about. And you can BET that I am going to conduct a thorough interview first this time, to get a sense of what they would and wouldn't do without calling me first!!
> 
> p.s. I really am a very non-confrontational person! I quite literally can't remember the last time I was upset enough at ANYBODY to confront them like that.... it doesn't make me happy to be like that, but I felt that I needed to put everything out there for her, for her other dogs' and owners' sakes even if it was too late for Cey's sake...


She is probably relieved that you did not sue her...if she belongs to a pet sitting group, or has insurance through a group, she is probably relieved you have not reported her to them. I would not feel comfortable with her either...your values and thoughts on Cey are just too far apart...be glad she is gone...
I think the fact she wanted out was because she knew she had overstepped her boundaries...


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

heatherk said:


> Now I have to find a new sitter, which as I said, I am not too too upset about. And you can BET that I am going to conduct a thorough interview first this time, to get a sense of what they would and wouldn't do without calling me first!!


Good for you. IMO, she was NOT a good sitter to do something like this. And it's not because of the black tips... (while it's disappointing to lose them sooner, they would go away anyway) The problem is her doing something you SPECIFICALLY told her not to, and that she didn't even check with her first.

When you are interviewing the new person, I'd tell her the story of what happened, and WHY you are asking so many questions. Her reaction would, in part, guide my decision concerning whether it was the right place or not.


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## Rudyshar8 (Feb 6, 2011)

I petsit dogs myself, lot of bischon's, havs, and a few others with long hair. I would never, ever think of doing that...not in a lifetime. She should of just kept closer attention to the other dogs and make sure that yours was not getting picked on, and if she was, then seperate them until they know better. I feel so bad for you, my husband loves my hav in a puppy cut...I'm not thrilled with it, but then again, it's easier for me to take care of for both my hav and my shih-tzu. I know a lot of my customers love coming here, they can trust that I wouldn't do anything like that...I brush them, keep them clean, and if I have an issue, I wait for them, I would never ever take it upon myself to do something on my own. I'd find another sitter if I were you...


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