# Separation Anxiety



## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Hi all,

I'd just like some input on separation anxiety. Gucci seems to have alot of anxiety and is very upset when I leave. I've left her with my husband and kids to "puppysit" and they tell me she whimpers and keeps going to the door waiting for me or running through the house *looking* for me. I can only imagine how upset she is if I leave her alone for an hour to run out for milk.

Let me clarify, I'm SELDOM away from her. Is this the problem? I'm pretty much a homebody/bookworm, and I work 2 days a week and on those days I work, I bring her with me. She does GREAT at my office.

Is this something she will grow out of? Does anyone have any suggestions on how to help ease my being away for short periods of time?

I did read that Havanese were very social dogs and needed to be around people, and I have a big family, so usually somebody is always around...but she wants ME.

Advice? Input?

Thanks,
Kara


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

I will wait for Tom's advice on this one and then I will tell you what my dogs are like ..


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## Laurief (Nov 7, 2006)

Kara,
My dogs all had that & Logan just finished going thru it. He and the girls follow me EVERYWHERE when I am home & In the house. If I just go upstairs to my room to change clothes, they are all on my bed, then follow me downstairs when I am done. I love it, they are my babies. But.. there are times when I am doing things that they cant be involved in. We found that they just have to wonder & whine - eventually they figure out that you always come back & they stop the behavior. Logan stays with Daddy at 8pm when I go up to read and the girls come up with me. For the first 4 weeks he was home, Logan whined & looked for me. Now he is fine, stays with Dad & occupies himself. It is just a matter of them getting used to it. Each day I would take the opportunity to be away for a little bit and eventually she will stop. 
Laurie


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## dboudreau (Jan 12, 2007)

Kara: 

I found with Sam, if I didn't make a big deal out of leaving or coming home he was better. When I leave, I give him a treat and tell him to be good and leave. When I come home I just take him outside, like any other time. No big hello's or good byes. My husband tells me that the whole time I'm gone he lays down at the door and waits. Like you, Sam is with me almost all the time. It will take some time but she will get better. Like Laurie said, take some time every day to leave and come back.


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## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

Kara,

When our first one, McKenna, was a puppy I knew I had to get her used to our being absent since we both work. After all, there will be those times when you have to leave them even if you don't work outside the home (doctor visits, grocery shopping, school stuff, emergencies, etc.). 

I took vacation time each time we brought home a pup. I would leave the house in increments of time. I started out leaving for say, 15 minutes, then I"d be gone for 30 minutes and so on, over a period of time. I did the same when our second, Sedona, was a puppy. 

I also never made a huge deal of leaving or returning although I do give them a "mom's going to work" treat.

Thankfully, neither of the girls has ever exhibited any signs of separation anxiety. 

Susan


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## Tom King (Aug 2, 2006)

Sorry. Cosmosmom requested my advice but I don't have any experience with this.


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## Thumper (Feb 18, 2007)

Maybe this is an "only dog" syndrome??

Thanks for the advice everyone! Hopefully, she will grow out of it. Maybe I should just get her a playmate? lol

Kara


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## whitBmom (Nov 27, 2006)

Oreo was lke that with me for a while. Don't get me wrong he is STILL my little shadow, but he is okay when I leave home. I am also a SAHM and he spends the day with me. I found that this little exercise worked for Oreo. Cut up 7 pieces of cheese, one for every day of the week. Then, seeing how Gucci responds to you automatically, the other members of the family will be using these treats. When the dog is least expecting, they must call Gucci's name and when she comes she gets this awesome treat!! Eventually, no matter who calls in the family she will come and will begin to show her that good things also come from the other family members. This can also be done when you are gone, which will help ease her mind. Hide and seek with them is also good. The bond that Gucci has with you is very strong, and she needs realize that all is well when Momma's away. The more you leave her with your other family members the better she will become. I found this to be the case with Oreo. But one things is for sure with Oreo, is that he almost never loses eye-contact with me. I am always in eye shot and when I am not, I hear his little tags as he is looking for me


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## marjrc (Jan 13, 2007)

Helen, that is excellent advice! It's important for your pup to know that good things come from others in the family as well as from you. I've done that since Ricky was a pup, but we're having a bit of a time with Sammy who has only been with us for 10 days now. He is my shadow..... and whimpers most of the time that I'm out of the room, even if others are there with him. I haven't left him in his crate and gone out of the house yet ..... my fault, I know!!  

Kara, what Gucci needs to learn is that your kids and husband are just as fantastic to be with as you are so if they give her loads of attention, but no coddling when she whimpers, then they'll look 'interesting' to her and may help in making the time pass a lot more quickly while you are away. I would leave her for small periods of time almost every day, just to get her used to it. It will take some time, but in the end will be good for her. 

Good luck!


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## Rita (Jan 1, 2007)

Kara. It might just be a phase that Gucci will grow out of. Houston prefers to be with me. When I come home he can be playing with my son and will just drop him like a hot Potato. LOL

What I have done is let Houston sleep with my son on a few occassions (Houston was in his crate of course). I also makes sure my son feeds him on occassions. That really seemed to help.


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## CapotesMom (Apr 3, 2007)

I'm going to try this starting tonight!! Usually when I get home from work I'm just as excited to see Capote as he is to see me so I make a HUGE deal about being there...no more! Now when I come home I'll say 'Hello capote' ...put him on his leash and take him out. Then when I leave I'll say 'goodbye Capote' give him a treat, and leave. Lets see how that goes. If this works it will be the end all to ALL separation anxiety..cause I have to leave him in his pen all day while I'm at work..  ...when I come home he can be velcro puppy..I don't mind..


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

Cosmo was very needy in the beginning and I could not leave to go to another room without him barking and whining .. 
I would leave him for short periods but he would still howl .. He would stay with my housekeeper when she was there but he would just lie by the gate in the kitchen waiting for me to return from my errands and shopping .
Once I got Ahnold things have improved but there are times that they kick up a fuss if I left for more than three minutes one would bark . I am working on it and they are improving .
One thing the trainer told me to do was to close the door every time I leave so they hear a door shut .. I find this helps ..
They are fine when they are crated - they accept it and go to sleep and I tell them I will see you in a little while . I try not to make a fuss when I leave and I try not to make a fuss when I come back .. The trainer is helping me with the advice when I come back she said do not let them out of the crate right away if they make a fuss .. Open and close the crate door a couple of times and when they settle and sit and wait then let them out . I then take them right out to go potty and once they have done their business they get my full attention ..
It is a work in progress ... 
There are no children at home for them to bond with as well - just Mom and Dad but we are committed to them and we want them to have good manners .. 
The older they get the better they become and I really feel having a buddy (another dog )makes a difference ...
I think a lot depends on the personality of the dog as well // Asta had a more outgoing trusting personality and he seemed to get it earlier and he realized I was coming home soon and he just had to wait .. 
There were not that many times I left him on his own as he was so easy I would take him with me . He did not have a lot of the insecurity issues that I had with Cosmo .. 
They are like kids and flowers - bloom at different times .. Some bloom later than others ..
I must say it has been a big help to have the trainer she is just so calm and positive and it has a wonderful effect on the dogs and on me as well ..


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## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

They are rarely left alone, but sometimes it can't be avoided. So, I started leaving for 10 mins at a time, just to go to the bank, deli, etc. Now we are up to 2 hours. When they see me leaving, they get excited, and I just say "Mommy will be right back. See you later." They seem to settle down. When I pull out of the driveway, I see them sitting in the window, and that's usually where they are when I get back.


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

I agree and I think it is OK for them to be left alone after all they have each other .


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## CapotesMom (Apr 3, 2007)

Capote's been pretty bad cause I've been causing a fuss. I noticed last night when I didn't that he calmed right down cause I wasn't making a huge deal that I was home. He still didn't like that I left today, but I left without a lot of hoopla again..so we'll see how it goes..I hate ignoring him when I get home...it makes me feel mean..lol


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## abuelashavanese (Mar 26, 2007)

Lots of good tips for the pups. Now, if I can just fix my separation anxiety - I'll be in good shape


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## CapotesMom (Apr 3, 2007)

yes..I think we get the stronger case of anxiety. When my coworkers tell me to stop talking about capote I know that I'm feelin the sting..


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## Cosmosmom (Jan 12, 2007)

Once you show them those cute pictures I am sure they will understand .
Interesting but my husband is so conscientious about not leaving them for too long . I am the one reassuring him and saying they are fine .
Who'd have thunk it !!


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## CapotesMom (Apr 3, 2007)

well..it's like leaving your kids alone for that long..they're just like kids. I feel bad I have to leave him all day..but if I don't then I can't afford to buy him toys and take him to the vet for shots and all those good things..lol. catch 22..I'll spoil him rotten while he's with me..till then, he has a bazillion toys and food and water and room to play while I'm gone..


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## marjrc (Jan 13, 2007)

CapotesMom, I am glad to see that you're trying to no longer get hyped up about coming home and leaving Capote. It truly is the best thing for them in the long run. I have been doing it that way since we had Ricky, back in Sept. and I'm constantly reminding the family, most especially our daughter, to just keep things 'cool' and not fuss over them. Twice last week, I got home and both dogs were lying on the kitchen floor and got up without any excitement at all and wandered over to say 'hi'. lol Most times, however, they act like they haven't seen me for a week!!


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