# Barking at my son?



## treyn (Nov 19, 2016)

Does anyone know what to do with a 12 week puppy that constantly barks at my 10 year old son? At first we thought he was trying to play but every time my son comes in the room or tries to hang out with his puppy, Bohdi barks and bites at his feet and clothes. My son has never hurt him, either accidentally or on purpose. He barks at me at times when he is wound up and I won't let him eat shoes or when I bring him in from outside breaks before he is ready. Otherwise, Bohdi is a sweet, smart, mostly chill puppy, especially with me and my husband. This hurts my heart a little because we got Bohdi specifically for my little boy (an only child) to have a buddy at home and his feelings are hurt because it seems Bohdi isn't taking to him very well.


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## Tux's Mom (May 24, 2016)

I suggest having your son feed Bohdi every meal if possible. That's a sure way to bond.


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## Jackie from Concrete WA (Mar 23, 2015)

Maybe if your son sits quietly and gives him treats. I don't know how old you son is. I know Willow acts differently around children but I think it's their energy level. You know, always moving and moving quickly it seems. Maybe your son should be the one that feeds Bohdi. I know others will chime in and I'm probably not the best one to give behavioral advice.


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## treyn (Nov 19, 2016)

He has been giving Bohdi treats at times but feeding him his meals is a great idea....thank you! My son is 10 and not really high energy but he is a little afraid of dogs (me too!) so, even though he is trying really hard to NOT be afraid, maybe he is giving off a nervous vibe that Bohdi is picking up.


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## MarinaGirl (Mar 25, 2012)

The good news is Bohdi is young so this is something that can be improved. Here are some tips to get your son and Bohdi more comfortable around each other.

1.	Until you’re sure that Bohdi and your son know how to behave around each other, you should always be present. Stay in the background, but be ready to step in if a situation looks like it’s starting to go sideways.
2.	Allow Bohdi to approach your son, not the other way around. Kids can get excited when they see a dog and want to rush up and start petting it, which may cause a reaction from the dog. One game is for you to both be on the floor, separated a bit, then take turns calling Bohdi and rewarding him with a treat when he comes to you.
3.	Teach your son that dogs have zones of space that should be respected.
4.	Learn how to read canine body language, then teach these signs to your son and stop play if you observe Bohdi is stressed or fearful.
5.	Encourage patience and slow interactions with Bohdi.
6.	Model the way that you want your son to approach Bohdi. Once he learns this at home he’ll be able to safely approach other dogs too.
7.	Include your son on your walks.
8.	Have your son help you take care of Bohdi —walk him, feed him, and clean up after him.
9.	Have your son take part in Bohdi’s training, with lots of treats.
10.	Have your son teach Bohdi to fetch and teach him tricks.


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## treyn (Nov 19, 2016)

Thank you so much! Some of these things he does already but we will work on all of the rest. It is very frustrating because Bohdi almost lunges at his face when he's sitting next to him, every time, and we can't figure out why. Then he starts barking at me, almost challenging?


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

treyn said:


> Thank you so much! Some of these things he does already but we will work on all of the rest. It is very frustrating because Bohdi almost lunges at his face when he's sitting next to him, every time, and we can't figure out why. Then he starts barking at me, almost challenging?


You've gotten some great responses already. It sounds like both you and your son are new to puppies in general? Bohdi is still very much a baby, and babies do baby things. It's important to explain this to your son, and for you to understand this too. You have to adopt a "this too shall pass" attitude with puppies, and NOT take "naughty puppy behavior" personally.

It sounds to me that Bohdi is a bit of a demanding puppy, and he may be barking and jumping at you to play in a way that is a bit scary to you and your son, but is really just "rude". He needs to learn to greet politely, but that will happen with gentle but consistent handling of his rude behavior. As others have said, you should ALWAYS be present when Bohdi and your son are interacting at this point. Explain to your son that this isn't because you don't trust him, but that you need to help him teach Bohdi good manners.

Every time Bohdi, barks at either of you, lunges or nips, simply pick him up gently and put him in his crate or ex-pen (ex-pen is easier) and turn away from him. I am not a Cesar Milan fan, but he's dead on about "no touch, no talk, no eye contact" in these situations. TOTALLY ignore him. Put him on ignore for a minute or two, then take him out and allow CALM interaction again. Believe me, he's going to test you. You will have to do this over and over to start with. (think two year old human  ) But he WILL get the message that his rude behavior doesn't get him what he wants, which is probably to play with you.

Finally, besides having your son do all the feeding for a while (which is an excellent suggestion) I would also enroll Bohdi in a puppy kindergarten class as soon as possible. Make it clear to the training center that it is very important that your son also be involved in Bohdi's training so that both of you are consistent in how you handle the puppy. Most training centers will allow a child your son's age to be involved in the class as long as there is an adult there too.

Chin up! This will get easier for all of you. puppies are puppies for only a short while in the scheme of things... and MANY of us, even when we've had some puppy experience, have some "WHAT have I gotten myself INTO?!?!" feelings from time to time in the first couple of months!


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## treyn (Nov 19, 2016)

Thank you! This puppy has been particularly precocious today so it is very reassuring to hear that I'm not the only one who has wondered 'what was I thinking getting a puppy??!!' And you're right - we have had dogs in the past but never a puppy. I feel like I am constantly scratching my head, wondering what to do all the time; and just when I think I've got something figured out..... This is definitely a lot of work but we all love this little one so much.....even on his grumpy days! I really do appreciate such kind, thorough, thoughtful responses today!!


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## whata_dog (Sep 10, 2015)

I agree with puppy kindergarten asap with your son involved.
It will help with your son's confidence around a puppy a lot!
My 11 year daughter has been involved with the training of our new pup from day one. 
She attends all the training classes we go to. The first one we both worked with our pup. 
The new one with an AKC judge, she watches intently and practices what we learned at home, but the next one we signed up for she is going to be the "handler". :smile2:

In regards to Bohdi barking when you won't let him chew on your shoe ... our first puppy manors class showed us to trade for a more valued item. 
It was a great way to teach "drop it" as the pup would drop what you don't want them to have by being enticed by a more appropriate 
item to chew on. You might want to give it a try and see what your puppy values more than the shoe.

I also have my daughter watch training videos and read articles that have been linked on the forum, by those much more experienced than myself ,that I was bookmarking for months before we brought our pup home.

I have read a lot of barking puppies on here lately- and I don't know if we just got really lucky with a naturally quiet pup , or if the work we did for separation anxiety avoidance training the first three days is the reason our pup never barks now. It really taught her to settle nicely, that I know for sure.

I highly recommend that article . The same concept applies just as Karen stated, the no attention when they are barking/crying or misbehaving... sets the puppy up for later success. 
Taking Measures to Prevent Separation Anxiety Related Behaviors | Whole Dog Journal
Good luck- glad to read today was a better day!


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## treyn (Nov 19, 2016)

Wow - he's a moody little thing! Bohdi barked and snapped at me today after bringing him back inside after playtime and not letting him play with shoes at the door. I offered one of his toys (which has worked some before, not always) but he wouldn't drop the shoe. I then put him in his ex-pen for a few minutes. I opened the door and talked to him sweetly to come on out but he got up, turned around, and laid back down with his back to me. Now, HE is ignoring ME completely. Is this a personality thing? Is he mad at me? I'm not really sure. He's not tired as he's already had a long nap this morning. 
I really missed out on the puppy kindergarten. When we got Bohdi at 8 weeks, all classes around here were full until after the holidays. I'll have him signed up after that but I really hate we missed it at such a crucial age, for him AND us!


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## Jackie from Concrete WA (Mar 23, 2015)

One more thing I remember from puppy class. Have your son sit on the floor with Bohdi or squat down. Sometimes the act of leaning over a dog is intimidating to them at first. We are giants to them. It would be frightening to you if some giant leaned over you!


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## krandall (Jun 11, 2009)

treyn said:


> Wow - he's a moody little thing! Bohdi barked and snapped at me today after bringing him back inside after playtime and not letting him play with shoes at the door. I offered one of his toys (which has worked some before, not always) but he wouldn't drop the shoe. I then put him in his ex-pen for a few minutes. I opened the door and talked to him sweetly to come on out but he got up, turned around, and laid back down with his back to me. Now, HE is ignoring ME completely. Is this a personality thing? Is he mad at me? I'm not really sure. He's not tired as he's already had a long nap this morning.
> I really missed out on the puppy kindergarten. When we got Bohdi at 8 weeks, all classes around here were full until after the holidays. I'll have him signed up after that but I really hate we missed it at such a crucial age, for him AND us!


Is it possible that you could bring a trainer into the house for a few private lessons before you can get him into Puppy K? That's what I did with Kodi. He was my first puppy AND my first dog, and I didn't want to make any mistakes. So I had a trainer come to the house to help me learn how to handle regular, household things during the couple of weeks before he started puppy K.

The timing was much better for both of the girls, plus I was much more experienced AND already had a good group of dog world contacts. The girls both started classes the week they came home from the breeder, and we have a nice Puppy K drop-in class on Saturdays nearby. But for Kodi, those early private lessons were invaluable!


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## Chasing Mayzie (Aug 16, 2016)

One thing you should remember about puppies is this: they're not deep thinkers! A puppy who turns his back on you and lays down is not mad at you...he cannot think that deeply. He's just tired, nothing more. Puppies generally only sleep, eat, play and walk around looking for things to eat and play with. 

My puppy (now 6 months old) would look at me and bark when she was much younger too. I think it was just that she really wanted to play, and she was barking at me the same as she'd bark at one of her littermates to entice me into playing. I would teach your son to think of her barking as asking to play, and her biting and pulling on his clothes as simply her being a baby who doesn't know how to play nicely. He can teach her to do simple tricks (fetch, sit, beg), and they will develop a great relationship.


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## Teddy Bear (Apr 11, 2015)

I'm not a trainer but based on my experience with dealing with Teddy, I think Bohdi is probably testing you to see how far he can get away with what he wants to do. Don't worry about him being mad at you - he probably isn't but can sense that you are sad about it. Dogs can sense how you feel and they feel no guilt in using it to their advantage!

Dogs do have moods (Teddy is just as moody as Bohdi!) I wouldn't sweet talk him to come out of the crate. Just open the door and walk away! He'll come out on his own. If he doesn't come out, call him to you and give him a treat (ideally let your son give him the treat). That way, you're also training him to come when called!

When I brought Teddy home for the first time, I sat on the floor (across the room from him) with a handful of treats. I then let him walk up to me (without being called) and let him get the courage to come and eat the treats off my hand whilst I sat in silence (and basically ignored him).
Not sure if it will help but worth a shot with your son holding the treats and letting Bohdi come to him on his own)? may take a few days/weeks but it may help them bond.

I would also suggest that you don't give him treats so he knows all the goodies only come from your son! He'll soon want to be best friends so he can get more treats from your son.


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## treyn (Nov 19, 2016)

Thank you all so much. We've been working on your suggestions and Bohdi is already doing much better. My son now understands that Bohdi may see him as a littermate and is just wanting to play so he is not as nervous. He is feeding him all meals and most treats. He has always been the one to take him out when he's home. Usually Bohdi gives him a hard time on the leash but now my son is learning to turn around and ignore him. He still tries to bark at us but we are all more comfortable with reading his mood and figuring out what exactly he's trying to communicate - whether play or just upset or testing his place. We immediately put him in his ex-pen when he is too aggressive and that really seems to be working. My son has been with him all day and there has only been one episode so far - YAY - success I think?! Bohdi actually crawled up beside him on the couch and fell asleep cuddled up with him. We were amazed!!! This forum has been a wealth of information and I want to thank you all for being so welcoming, so helpful, and so kind!!


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## MarinaGirl (Mar 25, 2012)

So glad to hear there's been some improvement! Keep up the good work!


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## Jackie from Concrete WA (Mar 23, 2015)

Glad to hear there's an improvement!


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## Tux's Mom (May 24, 2016)

Yea!!!! Good for you!! Great for the pup! and the BEST for your son! This is a good learning experience that will help your son throughout life, not only with other pets, but with raising his own kids. Learning to observe behavior, understanding the "animal" and knowing the proper way to handle it. Your son may learn more than the puppy. LOL


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