# To : God From: The Dog



## imamurph (Apr 15, 2008)

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers,

but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch?

Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the
cougar, the mustang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit,
but not ONE named for a dog? How often do you see a cougar
riding around?

We do love a nice ride!*

Would it be so hard to rename the "Chrysler Eagle"

the "Chrysler Beagle"?

Dear God: If a dog barks his head off in the forest

and no human hears him,

is he still a bad dog?

Dear God: We dogs can understand human verbal instructions,

hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's,
electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths.

What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?

If there are, will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things

I must remember to be a good dog.

1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it

or after they throw it up.

2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, worms, etc.,

just because I like the way they smell.

3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.

4. The sofa is not a 'face towel'.

5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff.

6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear

when he's on the toilet.

7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch

is an unacceptable way of saying "hello".

8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up

when I'm under the coffee table.

9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur

before entering the house - not after.

10. I will not come in from outside

and immediately drag my butt.

11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room

and lick my crotch.

12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy'

so when I play with him and he makes that noise,*

it's usually not a good thing.


P.S. – Dear God:

When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?


----------



## juliav (Nov 21, 2006)

Too cute!


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

Too cute, especially since Scooter gets "fixed" soon! Thanks for sharing.


----------



## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I found myself reading the whole thing going, "awww." Cute.


----------



## Cheryl (Mar 17, 2007)

Another good laugh!!!!:biggrin1:

Keep them comin'!


----------



## Missy (Nov 6, 2006)

awww. I would drive a chrysler beagle. how about a HAVA CIVIC?


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

ound:


----------



## irnfit (Nov 21, 2006)

ound:


----------



## Sissygirl (Aug 8, 2007)

I loved this one:

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven?

If there are, will I have to apologize?


----------



## EstrellaVila (Nov 30, 2007)

That was funny, I loved the end with the you know whats back.


----------

