# Today's Laugh



## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

If you need a good laugh, just read this: 

A 3-year-old tells all from his mother's restroom stall . . . . 

My little guy, Cade, is quite a talker. He loves to communicate and does it quite well. He talks to people constantly, whether we're in the library, the grocery store or at a drive-thru window. People often comment on how clearly he speaks for a just-turned-3-year-old.

And you never have to ask him to turn up the volume. It's always fully cranked There've been several embarrassing times that I've wished the meaning of his words would have been masked by a not-so-audible voice, but never have I wished this more than last week at Costco.

Halfway, through our shopping trip, nature called, so I took Cade with me into the restroom. If you'd been one of the ladies in the restroom that evening, this is what you would have heard coming from the second to the last stall: Mommy, are you gonna go potty?

Oh! Why are you putting toiwet paper on the potty, Mommy?

Oh! You gonna sit down on da toiwet paper now?

Mommy, what are you doing?

Mommy, are you gonna go stinkies on the potty?

At this point I started mentally counting how many women had been in the bathroom when I walked in. Several stalls were full¦ 4? 5?

Maybe we could wait until they all left before I had to make my debut out of this stall and reveal my identity. Cade continued:

Mommy, you are going stinkies aren't you?

Oh, dats a good girl, Mommy!

Are you gonna get some candy for going stinkies on the potty?

Let me see doze stinkies, Mommy!

Oh¦ Mommy! I'm trying to see in dere.

Oh! I see dem. Dat is a very good girl, Mommy. You are gonna get some candy!

I heard a few faint chuckles coming from the stalls on either side of me. Where is a screaming new born when you need her? Good grief. This was really getting embarrassing. I was definitely waiting a long time before exiting. Trying to divert him, I said, Why don't you look in Mommy's purse and see if you can find some candy. We'll both have some!

No, I'm trying to see doze more stinkies. Oh! Mommy!

He started to gag at this point.

Uh oh, Mommy. I fink I'm gonna frow up. Mommy, doze stinkies are making me frow up!! Dat is so gross!!

As the gags became louder, so did the chuckles outside my stall. I quickly flushed the toilet in hopes of changing the subject. I began to reason with myself: OK. There are four other toilets. If I count four flushes, I can be reasonably assured that those who overheard this embarrassing monologue will be long gone.
Mommy! Would you get off the potty, now? I want you to be done going stinkies! Get up! Get up! He grunted as he tried to pull me off. Now I could hear full-blown laughter I bent down to count the feet outside my door.

Oh, are you wooking at the wady's feet?

More laughter. I stood inside the locked door and tried to assess the situation.

Mommy, it's time to wash our hands, now. We have to go out now, Mommy!

He started pounding on the door. Mommy, don't you want to wash your hands? I want of go out!!

I saw that my wait em out plan was unraveling. I sheepishly opened the door, and found standing outside my stall, twenty to thirty ladies crowded around the stall, all smiling and starting to applaud. My first thought was complete embarrassment, then I thought, Where's the fine print on the motherhood contract where I signed away every bit of my dignity and privacy? But as my little boy gave me a big, cheeky grin while he rubbed bubbly soap between his chubby little hands, I thought, I'd sign it all away again, just to be known as Mommy to this little fellow.


----------



## LuvCicero (Mar 31, 2008)

Thanks for the laugh...and the memories. I am now thinking of things my kids and grandkids have said that made me want to melt into the floor.


----------



## Eva (Jun 20, 2008)

That is Awesome..lol
The joys of motherhood ound:
My 4 yr. old isn't quite that ...um...vocal.. while we're in the public bathroom but he said the cutest thing while we were at home the other day. 
He was in the bathroom standing on the scale and I asked what he was doing...he replied "I'm seeing how old my feet are" lol...I love kids


----------



## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

Great story to start the day with! 

I was in the elevator at a hospital with my kids, and there was another child holding the hand of his parent, and a very pregnant lady was in the elevator, too. The little boy was whispering to his mom, and then, very clearly we all heard "But, how did it get in there?!" as he looked at the pregnant lady's tummy. I was so glad it wasn't my child this time.


----------



## sweetlotus (Nov 26, 2008)

That's such a sweet and funny story Sandi! Definitely but a smile on my face today, thank you for sharing


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

Hah! I don't think you can be a mother without experiencing extreme embarrassment at least once!


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

How cute Sandi. That sure took me back in time to when my kids were younger.


----------



## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

:jaw: I know I embarrassed my parents a few times, not looking forward to motherhood if my children turn out to be like me :biggrin1:


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

When one of my kids was young she hated going into Nordstroms because of their prices. She's still a really frugal girl. Anyhow, they had some boots I wanted and she was with me at the mall. She wanted to go to Payless for her shoes but figured we could go there after Nordstroms. She asked if she could look around while I tried the boots on and I said sure. Their shoe dept. seems like it's half of a football field long and she was way on the other side. She picked up a pair of sandals that sold for over 300.00 and freaked out. She _yelled_ across the place and told the salesman to take that boot off of me, that _we couldn't afford them_. I wanted to faint! 
To make it worse, he looked up at me and asked if I was sure I wanted to try the boots on. I told him I wanted the boots and he finally put them on me. I went to pay for them and he asked me if I wanted them weatherproofed and I said yes. Then he told me there was no charge for it. By then my daughter was lucky i couldn't reach her. Anything over 25.00 to her was just way too much to spend on shoes or any piece of clothing yet today she doesn't hesitate to put her teen daughter in 150.00 tennis shoes. She won't pay it for herself but will for her teen. I should go with her when she's shoe shopping and pay her back


----------



## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

Jan that is so funny. Normally it is in the reverse.


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

SMARTY said:


> Jan that is so funny. Normally it is in the reverse.


She got her Dad too. He took the girls out to lunch or dinner and let them order virgin drinks. The waitress asked if they'd like another and my dear daughter told the waitress no, they couldn't afford it. He about fell through the floor and the waitress brought the girls another and she paid for them! Ok, so that I found funny ound:


----------



## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

My DD in Law is very thrifty, or as the family calls her Cheap. I picked my DGD up from pre School one day and she looked at my purse. She started by “new purse?’ I said yes, “did you buy it”, Yes, “did you get it at a garage sale?”, No, “did you get it at the thrift store?”, No, “was it on sale?”, No. Mandi why the interest in my Purse? “Mem that is the ugliest purse I have ever seen”. 

If a 4 year old thinks it is an ugly purse, you throw it away.


----------



## Mraymo (Oct 30, 2007)

LMAO. Too funny. My son is 11 now but has always been loud and very honest so I can relate. I don't turn red in public nearly as often as I used to.


----------



## maryam187 (Jul 18, 2007)

We were invited to a pretty formal dinner at our neighbors when I was 4. They had a very nicely decorated table with nice porcelain and serving dishes. I let out a big sigh and everybody looked at me asking what was wrong, I said: 'Lucky you, my mom always serves our food in ugly pots'. My mom gave me a nice strong shin kick and I yelled: 'OUCH, why are you kicking me?!' She said 'No, I didn't' (mean look from her) and me 'yes you did, look, I got a bruise already!' OMG, I remember it like it was yesterday...


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

SMARTY said:


> If a 4 year old thinks it is an ugly purse, you throw it away.


ound:ound:ound:


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

maryam187 said:


> 'Lucky you, my mom always serves our food in ugly pots'. My mom gave me a nice strong shin kick and I yelled: 'OUCH, why are you kicking me?!' She said 'No, I didn't' (mean look from her) and me 'yes you did, look, I got a bruise already!' OMG, I remember it like it was yesterday...


ound: Oh I wish I had time to get here more often. This is priceless.


----------



## Maxmom (Jul 22, 2008)

When my daughter was about 5, we stayed a week with my SIL in Washington state, who cooked for us every day. Not accustomed to northern cooking, my daughter struggled with being nice the whole week. The last day's fare was mashed potatoes and meat loaf. My daughter said, "Finally, we get something _*decent*_ to eat around here!"


----------



## DAJsMom (Oct 27, 2006)

Oh Sandi! Thank you for sharing that story! My kids have embarrassed me a few times like that as well--it brings back some memories!


----------



## marb42 (Oct 19, 2008)

Sandi, that was hilarious!!!ound: I laughed so hard!!! Thanks for the story.
Gina


----------



## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

We can keep adding to this…

Way back when my children were little and Disney World was young, one night I had had enough of fast type food and the best we could do was a Denny’s. My son went through the door and back out very fast. My DH caught him brought him back in kicking and screaming, he did not want to eat there. This was so unlike my mild mannered son. He finally blurted out in a very loud voice, “We are on vacation I don’t want to eat anywhere that‘s not clean enough to use paper plates”. We found out later his class had just started to learn about germs. A little knowledge can be very embarrassing.


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

When my daughter was in first grade they were doing a math problem that was about buying candy at the movies with money. My daughter raised her hand and said, "My mom won't buy candy at the movies because it's too expensive so we go to the drug store to get it and hide it in her purse!" The teacher called to tell me because she laughed so hard!

**DD is now 13 and last night I was taking her and some of her friends to a movie. On the way she asked to stop at Rite-Aid to buy candy! I taught her well!!!


----------

