# MESSAGE TO OUR PETS



## Evye's Mom (Dec 16, 2008)

Just received this from my SIL. I thought it was so cute (and so true) wanted to share with you all.

Dear Dogs and Cats:

The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate and food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest.

The stairway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me to the bottom is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run.

I cannot buy anything bigger than a king sized bed. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will continue sleeping on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. Dogs and cats can actually curl up in a ball when they sleep. It is not necessary to sleep perpendicular to each other, stretched out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, meow, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the edge in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine/feline attendance is not required.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell the other dog or cat's butt. I cannot stress this enough.

Finally, in fairness, dear pets, I have posted the following message on the front door:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND LIKE TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR PETS:
(1) They live here. You don't. 
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture. That's why they call it 'fur'-niture. 
(3) I like my pets a lot better than I like most people. 
(4) To you, they are animals. To me, they are adopted sons/daughters who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and don't speak clearly.

Remember, dogs and cats are better than kids because they: 
(1) eat less, 
(2) don't ask for money. 
(3) are easier to train, 
(4) normally come when called, 
(5) never ask to drive the car,
(6) don't smoke or drink, 
(7) don't want to wear your clothes, 
(8) don't have to buy the latest fashions, 
(9) don't need a gazillion dollars for college and 
(10) if they get pregnant, you can sell their children ...


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## Luciledodd (Sep 5, 2009)

I like this and want to add one other advantage of furbabies. If you have someone who always shows up at meal time--try this. Put the plate on the floor and let the dog lick it. then pick up, inspect and declare it clean and put in cabinet. The person won't come at meal time again. Just remember where in the cabinet you put the plate.


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## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Funny, funny, funny . . . and oh so true.


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## Sheri (Oct 11, 2008)

A couple of those made me chuckle out loud. Good, and oh, so true!


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## mimismom (Feb 15, 2009)

That is a good message!


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## Evye's Mom (Dec 16, 2008)

I especially loved the part about sleeping in the bed mainly because it is so true. These little things take up a lot of room making sure they have a nice comfy place on the bed. Second was "fur" niture.


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## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

Today I really like the selling kids option.


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## TurboMom (Jan 12, 2010)

:laugh: ahahahaha!


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## pacehavi (Oct 20, 2008)

I love the part about the bathroom. I often end up with both dogs and the cat in there with me. They seems to think it's some sort of special magic room.


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