# Got a question



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

I said I would take a break from forum unless I had pics or a question. I showed pics a couple days ago now comes a question. I am about 500 miles from my breeder and I just can't make it to visit the puppy before I pick him/her up. I have to go to Mayo Clinic and I'm moving like I said before and its just too much to take another trip. I've been reading Ian Dunbar's book as suggested by someone here. He had lots of good questions to ask a breeder and I politely send an email asking them to my breeder (about 8 questions). It was a very nice friendly email, but I need to have some input into my puppy. She usually answers my emails quickly but have heard nothing back yet. I'm hoping she is just busy. I realize she knows a lot more than I do about the breed and breeding but I feel better if I know whats happening. The puppy will be 4 weeks old in a few days. I have seen pic's of them sleeping but not playing or being held and I think that would make me feel good. Did I do the right thing? Or am I rushing things?


----------



## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

How long has it been since you sent the letter? I only saw Dexter once before we picked him up. At 4 weeks....puppies sleep a lot. When I saw Dexter at 3 weeks, they were barely walking. 

What kind of questions did you ask? Your breeder could be very busy, I do not know if this breeder has another job. I would give the breeder at least 1 week to 2 weeks to respond....if after maybe a week, you could make a friendly call to the breeder.


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

I'm probably rushing things. It hasn't been a week yet and I know she is busy. I'm not complaining about the breeder at all just wondering if asking her all those questions was being too pushy. I am quite sure she is doing everything right. I guess I'm trying to do everything "by the book" as I am not that experienced at dog raising. I have only had one dog and I got lucky. I made lots of mistakes with him I'm sure, although he turned out great. Guess I wanna make it better and easier for me and george.


----------



## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

I don't know your questions, but no dumb questions, just dumb answers. If I were buying a puppy I would resend the email and ask that she let me know she got it. If no answer then call the breeder. If they want to sell the puppy they should answer your questions.


----------



## Carefulove (Mar 20, 2009)

If you have time (which you do since the pup is still very young), then wait about a wk, then resend the mail and tell her "I was wondering if you got a chance to check my mail"... then take it from there.


----------



## SMARTY (Apr 19, 2007)

I would not wait another week, if the breeder was selling another puppy they would not wait a week to answer an email.


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

Thanks for the advice. I feel better now about my request. The questions were from Ian Dunbar's book basically about having lots of people hold and cuddle puppies especially men and children and strangers, giving puppies lots of stimulus with different noises and chewtoys and having a designated potty area, learning simple commands like sit and come, etc. From what I read at 4-8 weeks all of this should become a priority although as I said I dont have much experience in the area, only what I read.


----------



## Duncan'sMom (Apr 5, 2009)

My breeder suddenly didn't answer my email, after being very responsive and I got a little nervous as well. I ended up calling her after a week, and we figured out that it went to her junk box for some reason. Email is not perfect, so maybe give him/her a call after a week goes by.

I am in the same situation where I will not see my puppy until pick-up either. It is a bit stressful and I've only seen some photos. I pick him up in 5 days and today I got all nervous that I've only seen a few photos, and what a risk it is to just fly out there to pick him up. No advice just letting you know there is someone else in the same boat.


----------



## Carefulove (Mar 20, 2009)

When I get a pup, I will only meet him/her when I fly out to get him/her. The thing here is to trust your breeder, that he or she will give you the best match for your family. In a perfect world, you could visit the breeder a few times before picking up your pup, but we all know that is not always possible.


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

Good to know. Guess there is a "leap of faith" when you order a puppy long distance. You can only verify so much then you have to just trust your breeder and your instincts. I am confident we will both be happy with what happens but there is always a little nagging worry there.


----------



## Kathy (Nov 9, 2006)

mikeb said:


> I'm probably rushing things. It hasn't been a week yet and I know she is busy. I'm not complaining about the breeder at all just wondering if asking her all those questions was being too pushy. I am quite sure she is doing everything right. I guess I'm trying to do everything "by the book" as I am not that experienced at dog raising. I have only had one dog and I got lucky. I made lots of mistakes with him I'm sure, although he turned out great. Guess I wanna make it better and easier for me and george.


You are not rushing anything. Your breeder should be willing to respond even if it is to say she is busy and will get back to you later. After all, what will it be like after you get your puppy? It could be the breeder is on vacation or ill, but a good breeder should be willing to answer your questions no matter what they are.


----------



## Petaluna (May 9, 2008)

jen and I have the same breeder, and she didn't always respond promptly to e-mails ,but I realized she much prefers to talk on the phone (and I didn't know about some of the e-mail going to the spam folder), whereas I'm so used to e-mail and type for a living that I tend to go that route of communication first. Sometimes people just get busy, but a week is rather long, I would call if you have not gotten a response. what I read in "How To Raise a PUppy You can Live With" is that they shouldn't be handled excessively the first few weeks. By 4 weeks on, then more handling. If you think she is a good breeder, then she is probably paying attention to their stages of development, exposing them to different stimuli, working on paper training, etc. but I have been reading a lot of Ian Dunbar the past month and while I think his methods are great, his writing style makes it sound like your dog will be practically ruined if it doesn't get 100% of all the things he suggests at the exact right time, and I don't believe that's true. There is a lot you can do from 8-9 on through their adolescence as well. More than likely if you did your homework on her and feel she's a responsible breeder, she's taking the right steps, but you should be able to ask questions and get them answered, it's a lot of money and a long term commitment. I know I needed a fair amount of hand-holding through this, and Violet's breeder was more than willing to share any information I needed, and through our conversations I realized how much she knows about training, the way a dog's mind works, and all the health issues, grooming, kind of the whole package, and I know I'll be able to call her any time in the future to check in and ask more questions. 

I think you should call your breeder if you haven't already, you need a good phone relationship with her, it's the best way to communicate next to in person, and you will both be able to get a better feel for what you are looking for in a dog and what sorts of reassurance you need, among other things. 

good luck!!!


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

I'd resend with a note at the top saying, "Just wondered if this made it through to you?" That isn't being pushy! We only saw our puppy once when we chose him, then had to wait a few weeks to bring him home. The breeder was only an hour away but our schedule was so busy we couldn't go see him until we brought him home. You'll be fine Mike! With all the reading and preparing you're doing, and you'll have the forum to ask questions, it will go smoothly!


----------



## JASHavanese (Apr 24, 2007)

mikeb said:


> Guess there is a "leap of faith" .


When I hear that from a person I shudder. Every time I've heard it the results were not good. Taking a leap of faith means that you have question or concerns and they are not being addressed. The very best advice I can give you is get those questions and concerns addressed now or move on.


----------



## Alexa (Jun 17, 2007)

Mike...not sure if this was talked about in any of the other threads...but who is your breeder and where is he/she located? We have so many members no this forum that I bet you'd be able to find someone that would be happy to go to visit your puppy and check out the place / take pictures and report back.

I know it's a tough job to visit and cuddle cute pups, but someone's gotta do it <g>

So if it's WA, I volunteer!

Alexa


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

LOL Alexa!


----------



## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Would it be too personal to post your questions? Are you looking for a show dog or pet? The waiting is the worse! At least you can come here and learn about the care involved with you pup.


----------



## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

We first met Lincoln at 6 weeks. That was a great age - all the pups were active and fluffy and interested in interacting with us and each other. Very cute stage!


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

I sent a followup yesterday afternoon asking if she got my prior email. No response to that yet but I'll give it a couple days. She usually replies within a couple hours so this is unusual. I hate to lose out on my deposit but if she can't reply to me I may look for another breeder. We'll see, hopefully it will all work out.


----------



## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

I would say don't panic. There were many times when my boys' breeder couldn't/didn't get back to me for days at a time. She was off showing her dogs and wasn't able to get back to me till she returned home. Many of the people here were luckier that I, in that I never saw either of my boys in person till the day I got them. I was very lucky though because they were indeed perfect matches for me and each other.

I know you're getting nervous and all this time is going by but I have no doubt it will all work out well and your baby George or Georgia will be in your arms soon.


----------



## TnTWalter (May 9, 2007)

It is mother's day weekend and many people go out of town. I'd wait until next week personally.

Good luck.


----------



## Cheryls (Aug 9, 2007)

With the holiday and weekend I would tend to say, be a little patient. If the breeder has had good communications until now I would guess there is a good reason for a slow response this time.(out of town, entertaining guests, computer problems, other areas of life. etc) I suggest if you dont hear in a few days to the email, then pick up the phone and call. Computers can be a problem and I know from experience that a person can lose all information when the computer decides to crash. Good luck and I hope you hear soon. -Cheryl-


----------



## Carefulove (Mar 20, 2009)

mikeb said:


> Good to know. Guess there is a "leap of faith" when you order a puppy long distance. You can only verify so much then you have to just trust your breeder and your instincts. I am confident we will both be happy with what happens but there is always a little nagging worry there.


You should feel 100% confident with her to tell her or ask her anything. After all, is not like she will walk away from your life after you get the pup. You will have to stay in touch with her one way or the other, so is better to start off with trust and openness. 
I said, wait a week since you have time and she is probably busy, but she should respond, regardless. Again, make sure you are not embarrassed to ask a question or feel that you are pushing too much.


----------



## HavaneseSoon (Nov 4, 2008)

Hang in there....I have been there! My breeder was showing her dogs and one time...well, maybe several times her computer was down. 

It's Mother's Day, so I would give your breeder a chance to reply just in case she is out of town.


----------



## BeverlyA (Oct 29, 2006)

This is just one more great reason to attend the Nationals in Chicago in August. You have the opportunity to meet many wonderful breeders personally and it can make interactions with them at a later date go smoother. 

Beverly


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

I'm quite sad tonight. Basically I guess i've been bothering the breeder too much and she doesn't have time to talk to me once a week as I had suggested instead of emails. We have not started off on the right foot although I believe she is a good breeder and I do ask too many questions (some more than once). I have gone thru too much in the last year and this year with deaths and illnesses in the family as some of you may know. It may be that a puppy is not for me (anybody want some unused puppy supplies (sigh)).


----------



## PepperToast (Oct 27, 2008)

What does that mean Mike? Did she contact you and tell you she is unable to keep in touch that often? Please more info. 

Please don't let this put you off your course for a puppy. People are disappointing and you may be 'high maintenance' but.... you'll make a great owner and that should put any breeders minds at ease and make them willing to answer your questions more than once.

Meeka


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

Yes. She says that talking to me once a week was "a bit much". She is very busy.

(as you can see I'm posting this at 3:22 am I can't sleep)


----------



## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

Mike, please don't give up just yet. How about asking a lot of your more general questions on the Forum? That's what it's here for! Maybe leave the questions that are specific to the actual pup for the breeder.

The couple of Hav breeders I am blessed to know are extremely busy people. They tell me that they get many calls and emails every week from people. Not to mention they are busy showing and breeding, often out of town or at a show on the weekends, plus contending with just normal daily life, sick relatives, etc. So, I can see how even a regular weekly call could be a bit much. But I really wouldn't take that personally 

Hang in there! Don't sell that puppy supply stuff yet!


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

Mike, I wouldn't give up yet either. From what I've read, breeders don't make much money breeding dogs. Most of them show their dogs as well so just imagine how much time that takes. Throw in a family and I'd say they have almost no free time.

I agree with Marj, post your questions here because you'll probably get lots of answers from all of us who are addicted to this forum! Just look at the times we all post stuff!

Perhaps you could e-mail the breeder and tell her you didn't mean to offend her in any way, you're just anxious to be properly prepared so you can care for the little George. Ask her how she'd prefer to handle things from now until you're ready to pick him up.


----------



## ama0722 (Nov 28, 2006)

Mike- maybe you should just ask for your deposit back (especially if the breeder told you they dont have time for you) and find another breeder you mesh with better. Breeders are people too and maybe it just isn't a match between both of your personalities. Find a breeder that you mesh well with and ask questions of their breeding program, philosophies, etc before you put a deposit down for a puppy.


----------



## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Mike,

I don't think you should give up on little George yet either. I agree that maybe you should ask some of your questions here as you have in the past. To be honest with you I didn't have a lot of contact with the boys' breeder before getting each of them. They can be very busy and I know Linda was away much of the time showing her dogs so the few emails I sent sometimes got answered days or a week or so later. Yet I wouldn't trade the experience of having my guys for anything.

I know you're nervous but try to relax and enjoy the process.


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

Thanks for all your help. I am feeling better about everything today. I am going to wait till I have my Mayo Clinic visit and results back before I make a final decision. The breeder sent me another more conciliatory email, I think we just kinda got off on the wrong foot . We have slightly different views on things and she is quite firm in her belief (and quite experienced) and currently has like 10 puppies, her dogs and family with several children. But we may work things out. Between the recent family deaths (and my dog=family) and moving and my health issue and getting a puppy I have taken on too much at once.

The good thing is my moving is going nicely although it has been very stressful on my mind and body. The apartment is beautiful with lots of space away from traffic for a puppy and very a pet friendly staff and it is only 4 miles from work and 2 blocks from the dog training facility. So whenever I get my dog we can virtually walk to obedience/agility training.


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

I also wanted to thank those of you who have posted to my threads in supporting me. It has meant a lot to have this outlet.


----------



## Jammies (Apr 4, 2009)

*Hang in there Mike. It sounds like you have a lot going on in your life. Hopefully you'll be settled in to your new apartment and life will be better for you when you get George/Georgette! 
You're in my thoughts and prayers!*


----------



## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

Mike, don't give up. It sounds like a puppy might be just what you need when things settle down. If you still have questions, ask here. There are always experienced people willing to answer. 
A puppy is a big committment but don't stress too much over it. As long as you provide your puppy with food, water, shelter, some toys and LOTS of LOVE, you are off to a great start. Sometimes reading too many books can make it seem overwhelming and make it seem like if you don't start training your pup the minute he/she walks in the door you aren't doing something right. Not only that, you get conflicting views on the "right" way to train. Only you can tell what is the right way for you. As for socialization, yes that's important but that doesn't mean that if your pup doesn't see a person in a hat or a person in a wheelchair in his/her first 8 weeks he/she will freak out when they do see one. 
You'll be a great puppy parent.


----------



## mikeb (Mar 11, 2009)

If this doesn't work out there is a breeder much closer to me that has a puppy 12-14 weeks old, dont have exact birth date yet. It would be another week before I could get him (after my Mayo trip) so he would be 13-15 weeks old. She is very nice and says the puppy is very friendly and has show potential (I would not show him). She says he has been well socialized with children, men and strangers (lol). Is that kinda old for a puppy. Was wanting to get one at about age 9 weeks. Would he still bond the same to me? (His body is white with a little black around the tail. Head is black with a stripe of white on top of his head.)


----------



## Brady's mom (Dec 1, 2006)

I am sure things will work out for you how they are supposed to. I don't think 13-15 weeks is too old at all. Dugan was a rescue and he was turned into havanese rescue at 14 weeks. He stayed in his foster home for 2 weeks and came home at 16 weeks. He adjusted just as easily as Brady did (he was 8 weeks when we brought him home). Good luck. I am sure you will end up with the perfect hav for you.


----------



## Lunastar (Feb 9, 2009)

Mike the puppy will bond with you no matter what the age. Adult dogs bond so a puppy 15 weeks will surely bond well. I don't know if you should give up on George. 10 puppies are lot to care for so I'm sure the breeder is busy, plus she has family and possibly a job too. Your deposit should be refundable, at least I would hope so. I know what ever puppy you decide to take it will be the right choice for you. Don't sell your puppy stuff yet, you need that puppy just as much as that puppy needs you.


----------



## Scooter's Family (May 23, 2008)

I wouldn't worry about the age of the puppy. Murphy was 12 weeks old, had been with a family for about a week, then with rescue for over a week when we brought him home. Within 2 days he was a little shadow! Your puppy will bond with you because you'll be feeding and loving him, that's all he'll need! I'm happy to hear that you have some options if things don't work out with the first breeder.
Take care and try not to worry too much, this is supposed to be fun!


----------



## pjewel (Apr 11, 2007)

Mike,

Don't worry about bonding. Milo came to me at 5 1/2 months and bonding was not an issue. So many people get older dogs, from one year to --- and their dogs bond. Try not to over think it and just do what feels right in the pit of your stomach. That's going to be your true barometer of what's right for you.


----------



## mckennasedona (Feb 20, 2007)

Definitely don't worry about bonding. We adopted our Sheltie when she was 4 years old! Her former owner died and Rumor went back to her breeder for a month and then we adopted her. She has defintely bonded with us.


----------



## Petaluna (May 9, 2008)

I can't speak about an older puppy, but getting Violet at 11 1/2 weeks - not as young as some, but still very much a puppy, I can say 4 days into it that it's pretty all-consuming, and a lot of that has to do with how often they have to eliminate, and trying to teach where to do that. It's good you're retired. Assuming that older puppy has had a good start on potty training, you will probably save yourself several weeks of aggravation with the VERY frequent trips outside, as he will probably be able to hold it longer, and it might be easier at night, too. This puppy thing is a fun age, I mean really there is nothing more adorable, but sometimes part of me wonders why I didn't opt for an older dog -lol! Right now she's trying to eat her bed....


----------



## PepperToast (Oct 27, 2008)

Mike,

I think you should go with your gut. You certainly won't be missing much if you get a puppy at 17 weeks or more, compared to 9 weeks. You'll save yourself lots of work (and lots of enjoyment) but that is about it. An older puppy will have a more developed personality so that is a plus. My doggies are still very much puppy like at 1 year. I think I noticed the most change at about age 2 and now again at age 3. The two rescues I got at 5 and 6 months respectively are no less bonded to me than the other 3 that I got at younger ages. 

Which breeder do you feel you can have the best relationship with? That is how I would choose.

Meeka


----------



## Jane (Jun 2, 2007)

mikeb said:


> If this doesn't work out there is a breeder much closer to me that has a puppy 12-14 weeks old, dont have exact birth date yet. It would be another week before I could get him (after my Mayo trip) so he would be 13-15 weeks old. ... Is that kinda old for a puppy.


I don't think that is too old at all. Lincoln's brother went to his home at 16 weeks and he is a fine dog! Very bonded to his family. I think there are many things a dog can learn better from their pack than from us (like bite inhibition, etc.) so they are still learning many important things that will impact their behavior even if they aren't with you quite yet.


----------

